Solace's Lullaby
by Lisette.Sage
Summary: Growing up within worlds of adventure, beauty and rarity - Willa Fawn is a wild wanderess who is moving to Fork's with her little cousin Bella. Thinking her life of enchanting mystery has come to an end, Willa has not yet realised that her biggest adventure is yet to come. Jasper x OC
1. Chapter 1

**~ Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight and no copyright infringement is intended ~**

 **Author's note: Hello everyone! A wee while ago I posed the threads of this story but decided to take it down to develop and rewrite it! This is my first twilight Fanfic so I am kinda nervous about posting this but I hope that you all like it and would love to hear all of your thoughts, comments and suggestions! :) Anyhoo, Happy Reading and please feel free to review and let me know if I should continue this :)**

As I rose from my slumber I first became aware of the warmness of the air and it's spicy fragrance, reminding me that I had once again fallen asleep in the grass just outside the kitchens. I snuggled in closer to the blanket that someone had draped over me, rubbing my nose against its surface. I took in a deep breath, savouring every spice, every scent that whistled up my nose. The aroma drifting in from the kitchen became so strong that it coated my tongue, teasing my taste buds. Flickering my eyes open, I rolled onto my back and smiled up at the friendly sky above – watching as the birds flew amongst the lazy clouds that gently scattered the sky.

"Willa!" I turned my head to the side, my cheek brushing the grass. "Willa, dear!"

With a little puff I sat up in one fluid motion – my light blue dress fanning out around me like water. "Coming, Anushir!" I called back to her as I stretched my arms over my head, smiling in pleasure at the way my muscles felt through the movement. Dropping my arms to my side and letting my fingers skip over the tips of the grass, I tilted my head back and relished the Indian morning sun. Where we were, there was no pollution – not in the skies anyways, and so when I looked up into the sky my eyes were greeted with the most magnificent blue.

Today was the last day that I would see this sky - that I would sleep underneath its stars and read under the light of its wondrous sun. Despite living in India, I wasn't Indian but neither was I American, Japanese, Thai or Bangladeshi – I was all of them. For my whole life, I had never spent more than three years in one country. I was a born traveler, a wild wonderess whose bones sang when nature surrounded me, when I immersed myself in rich culture and villages that most foreigners wouldn't dare step into.

Standing up on bare feet, I tipped my head back, held out my arms and spun slowly – memorising the sight above me before it faded forever. The wind nipped at my fingers as I spun, smiled and sang an ancient song in Hindi. When my feet came to a standstill, I sighed at the pressure I felt around my legs and chuckled as small fingers tickled the backs of my knees.

"Oh, Vittesh." I hummed to myself with a smile and looked down to see a little Indian boy hugging my legs. "What are you doing out here." I asked gently as I bent down to pick up his small form in my arms. He was so light – so thin that every time I lifted him I was afraid that I would break him. He simply laughed and I rubbed my nose against his little one. "Let's go get you something to eat." I tapped my index finger against the tip of his nose, laughing as he scrunched it up and pinched my very own nose. "You cheeky little fella." I took his small hand in mine as I walked towards the kitchen with him in my arms for the last time.

As I looked down into his large brown eyes, filled with the innocence that inspired my own – I felt sadness peck at my heart and I shook my head as I willed the physical evidence of that sadness away. Today was the day I would go to Forks, my mother's birth home. I had never met my father but my mother had always talked of him fondly. A wild prince from various nations like herself. They had met in South Africa though neither one of them had any blood ties to the country. They fell in love whilst doing volunteer work – my mother teaching English and my father, this mysterious, wild wonderer, a volunteer in every essence of the word. But my father, after my birth, passed away to a mosquito born virus and my mother never loved another man. But she loved me, raised me as a daughter of mixed cultures. I attended local schools, which she worked in, helping the other students and villagers during my free time as they opened my eyes to new ways of living. But now, that I had become an orphan – my mother dying from a brain tumor before Christmas, I had no other choice but to return to her birthplace and the place where her older brother, Charlie lived – Forks.

Pressing my palm against the wooden surface of the door, it easily swung open to reveal the small kitchen whose aromas flooded my very being. I smiled at the sight of the familiar spices, bread and dishes that the cooks were preparing for the boarders. I walked over to the nearest table and picked up a piece of freshly made naan bread.

"Oh, hold on a sec." I soothed Vittesh as he reached for the bread in my hands. Maneuvering him on my hip, I managed to break of a greedy portion for him to eat which he gladly took in his little hands. "There you are," I pressed my lips to his forehead and began to sing him a little Hindu song that the cooks had taught me. My body swayed this way and that as I sang, making the little boy in my arms laugh.

"Willa!" Anushir sighed at she captured sight of me in her flour dusted apron. Anushir was both the head cook and had become my mother's best friend here. She placed both of her hands on her hips after whipping her forehead with the back of her hand. "You're not even dressed!" She exclaimed in panic and glanced at the clock in alarm.

"Hush now, Anushir." I smiled lightly, "Everything will be alright. I'm already packed." I did a little spin with the boy in my arms, and rubbed his nose against mine.

"And what? You think you are going to the airport in a grass stained blue dress?" She raised her eyebrow as she waddled towards me, her long black braid swishing this way and that as she approached.

I shook my head, my light brown hair falling over my shoulders in gentle waves. "Off course not, Anushir." I replied lightly and gave her Vittesh. "I have some clothes still laid out." I continued with a smile before placing my hand on her cheek. "You have no need to worry." I soothed.

"Okay," She bobbled her head sideways, "But you go and get dressed now. No detours to the lake or village!" She called after me as I skipped through the kitchen – the skirts of my dress swaying as I moved and nibbled on my piece of naan. I skipped, bare foot, across the grass, through buildings and waved to everyone I passed with a smile – my hair swishing this way and that like a tale. I came to a stop outside our small house and pressed one hand on the wooden door and the other on my chest as I slowed my breathing. Taking my hand from my chest, I went to open the door but jumped back when the door opened before me to reveal my best and only friend.

"Fitz." I exclaimed with a hand on my beating heart. "Wha-what are you d-doing h-here?" I asked, taking a step towards him and placing both of my hands of his shoulders, and then moved one hand to cup his cheek.

"Well now, you didn't' think I'd let you leave without saying goodbye, now did you?" He asked, tapping my nose. I caressed his cheek with my thumb, having to go up onto my tiptoes to do so. Fitz was a lot taller than me, a lot smarter and a lot thinner. Whilst he encouraged neatness, intelligence I showed him how to be wild, to be adventurous.

"Of course not, Fitz." I whispered, going higher up on my tiptoes to kiss his cheek. Just as I stepped back, he placed his hand over mine – the one that rested on his cheek. Fitz was the son of a diplomat. He was always neat – his brown hair not a strand out of place. He wore stylish suit pants and shirts which he always tucked into his pants, shirts that never had a crease nor stain on them.

"You best hurry, little Willa, you've got less than five minutes before the car comes." My eyes widened slightly in surprise and I quickly dropped my hand to the side. "Yep." He nodded as I kept on staring at him with wide eyes – my cheeks going red in panic. Despite what I had told Anushir I hadn't packed, I hadn't – "don't worry," Fitz said gently, placing both of his hands in his pockets. "I've already packed for you." I soften my eyes in gratitude and kissed him once more on the cheek.

"How am I going to live without you?" I asked honestly, my voice gentle as I gazed into his bright blue eyes.

He shrugged timidly and looked down to his spotless shoes. "How," he swallowed, "how am I going to…"

"Hey," I said softly, pressing my finger underneath his chin and applied the softest of pressures to lift his head up so he could meet my eyes. "Everything will be alright."

He shook his head, "How am I supposed to survive without you?"

My lips parted in understanding, in guilt, in shame. I was Fitz's only friend, the only friend he had ever had in his entire life and now I was leaving him. I had defended him in front of bullies, sat with him in his classes and listened to his talks on physics and mathematics that although I didn't understand, knew made him happy that someone else was listening to what he had to say. It wasn't easy for him, being smart. But it wasn't just his smartness that set him apart, it was his ways – his childhood of always moving – of never looking back and never making friends to protect him from the pain of saying goodbye.

I took in a deep breath – the warm air whistling down my throat and coating my lungs. "By believing that we will meet again." I told him before taking his hand in mine and leading him into the now empty house. When we reached what used to be my bedroom, I sat down on the floor, feeling the wood with my fingers until I came across the one I searched for. I then lifted a single piece of wood up and withdrew a small wrapped parcel from within. "I, I w-want you to have this." I told him quietly even though we were the only ones in the house. "So when you ever feel lonely, when you ever feel lost you will know that you are never alone and that you…that you will always be loved." I held out the box towards him, which he simply stared at before shifting his gaze to my childish eyes.

"I ah, I don't have anything to give you." He replied with a little voice that made me shake my head and stand. "I don't have anything to give you to remember me by."

"Fitz." I exhaled and placed the parcel in his hands. "You don't need to give me anything because I will always remember you, no matter how old I become, you," I placed the tip of my finger against his forehead, "will always be in my heart." I moved my finger and placed it on my heart. It was true; I would never forget Fitz because he was my best and only friend. From the day, I found him underneath the floorboards, trapped by those bullies... I made him a promise – a promise to always protect him and now, to always love him.

"How can I thank you?" He asked shyly, bowing his head.

I shook my head and then tilted my body to the side so I could see the clock behind him. "By letting me change?" I asked sheepishly and laughed when his cheeks went red with embarrassment. He then awkwardly left the room, tripping over his foot as he did so and banging into the door. I pressed a hand to stifle my laughter at his adorable nature before returning his little wave and then getting changed.

I quickly slipped on a navy-blue skirt, a short-sleeve white shirt with a peter pan collar and cupped sleeves and my fraying pair of black converse. After brushing my long light brown hair, I placed a navy-blue headband on, grabbed my bag and rushed out with door as I ran towards the car where Fitz and the driver waited. When I reached Fitz, I tossed my arms around and buried my head into his chest. I felt pressure against my back as his arms wrapped around me – his cheek pressed against my ear as we held each other. I snuggled up against him, took in his smell of mint and books as he breathed in mine. He was my best friend and now that I was leaving – I was scared for him, scared for us. I couldn't protect him, and I…I would be alone. I felt sadness grip my heart, squeeze it, stab it. I shut my eyes, wincing as I felt my nose burn and my eyes prickle. But I had to be strong, I had to be strong for him –and I couldn't him them see me cry. I had to believe that we would see each other again, I had to be the enteral optimist because if I wasn't, if I was weak and vulnerable then it would be worse for him…for us.

Reluctantly, I pulled back slightly to gaze into his reddening eyes. "Hello you." I whispered quietly.

His lips twitched as he cupped the side of my face. "Hello, you." I leaned into his touch – savoring it. "You'll be a good girl, now you hear?"

I shook my head as I smiled, "I promise," I told him. "Professor." He loosened a laugh and moved his hand to ruffle my hair. I scrunched up my nose but kept my smile stained to my lips. "You'll be a good boy?"

He chuckled, a lazy grin spreading on his lips. "Yes," he inclined his head, "my wild wonderess." My smile only grew at the nickname. I wasn't sure how long we then stood there, looking into each other's eyes and trying to memorize every detail of each other. When I saw a shapeless tear fall from Fitz's eyelashes, I quickly brushed it away with my thumb, and pressed the palm of my hand against his face in the gentlest of manners.

"Remember me and smile, for it's better to forget than to remember me and cry." I told him softly, "Dr. Seuss." I swallowed my tears as I spoke, and tried to put on a good face, to be strong for him. "I-I love you Fitz." I told him. I knew I had to go, the tears were being thicker in my throat and I couldn't let him see – I couldn't.

"I love you more, Willa." He said, his voice broken as he spoke. And then, after one final hug he helped me into the car where I sat at the back and hang out of the window. And as the car drove to the airport I watched– watched as Fitz became smaller and smaller – his arm waving, waving until he became nothing but the size of a fleck of dust, a fleck of dust that would always remain in my memory – in my heart. And just after we turned the corner and he disappeared, I buried my head against my knees and cried silently.

* * *

Despite being familiar with planes, I had never liked flying. The feeling of being trapped in a cage of metal suffocated my mind, my veins. My fingers coiled around the sides of the chair, turning a sickly white as I dug my nails into the armrest, trying to keep calm – to breathe evenly. My eyelids misted over as pain nibbled at my heart. I could see Fitz's face so clearly, as if it was painted against the backs of my eyelids. I missed him. I missed him, my mama and already the life that I once had. In Forks, I knew I would no longer be able to run wild, to swim in lakes and play my violin whilst the villagers sung and danced. I was afraid of that unfamiliarity, for interacting with kids my own age and who had never left the nation before. The only friends that I have ever had who are my own age are Fitz and my little cousin Bella's who I would now be living with. Bells had always been like a little sister to me, and I suppose now that she and Charlie were my only surviving family, she meant so much more to me.

From what I knew, she too was arriving today – from Phoenix and I suppose that made me happy, happy that I would have someone to share this new adventure with me and that I wouldn't be alone. I curled up against the wall of the plane, coiling into myself as I willed sleep to claim me, but my nerves we're too great and so for the remainder of the flight, I remained awake with my eyes closed – pondering the new adventures that lay ahead of me and the old ones that I would forever remember.

* * *

When I landed in Port Angeles, I was initially nervous…but the moment my eyes captured sight of rain, of proper rain – I felt all my nerves leak from me. With my hand pulling at the tattered strap of my blue suitcase, I made my way through the airport, stopping when I saw Charlie and Bella waiting outside with a cruiser.

They were huddled underneath an umbrella that sagged underneath the weight of the rain. They looked stiff, awkward as if they didn't feel comfortable being so close to one another. But when they caught sight of me coming towards them, a bright smile light up of Bella's face. I felt my cheeks redden in happiness and the tip of my nose burn as a smile tugged at the corners of my lips. I felt my feet move faster and faster, as Bell's ran out from underneath the umbrella, stumbling as she jogged towards me. The rain slide through my hair as I ran, ran towards the one person I had left in this world.

We crashed into each other at such a force that made me take several steps backwards. The warmth of her body burns my cold bare arms as I wrap them around her. We held onto each other tightly, letting each other know how much we missed one another, how much we meant to the other and the need we had for comfort, for friendship, for a sister.

"Hello, you." I said, pulling back slightly as I looked up into her eyes, water dripping from her eyelashes as we stood in the rain. "Long time no see." I teased slightly with a voice turned soft by the pounding of the rain.

"You could say that." She replied, whipping her wet hair away from her face. Bells had certainly grown since the last time I saw her, and suddenly I felt as if I was the younger one. "God, I missed you." She exhaled – her teeth chattering in the cold, which I simply soaked up and enjoyed. I had been so used to the heat, to the sun that I had forgotten what the chill felt like – what rain looked like. I breathed in its aroma and savored the way it coated my tongue. "Shall we go?" She asked and motioned with her head towards Charlie who stood waiting by the cruiser.

"As you wish." I told her with a childish smile before picking up my suitcase and following Bella. I could tell she didn't like the rain and whilst I took my time walking, I watched as she awkwardly ran over to where Charlie stood. She stumbled several times but I was happy she didn't fall.

When I reached the two of them, I accepted a one-armed hug from Charlie. "It's good to see you, Willa." He said and pulled back to give me a once over. "You're still just the same little Willa I remember."

"Still find it slightly strange that I'm smaller than my little cousin?" I asked lightly, trying to ease the tension.

"It's definitely hard to see you as the older one with your height and eyes." I narrowed my eyebrows at his response. Unlike Bella's 5'4 I was but a mere 4'10. I wasn't sure how that worked but I didn't mind the shortness – if anything I enjoyed it.

"So…" I began and looked up at Charlie with a smile on my face. "Does it still always rain here?" I asked gleefully, foolish eyes looking up into his.

Charlie released a single note of laughter. "I would tell you to get used to it but it seems you're liking it too much." He chuckled and I tilted my head up to look into his brown eyes.

"I haven't seen rain in so long." I told him happily. "And when I do see it, it's like…like magic."

"All right kiddo," he sighed, amusement flickering in his eyes. "Let's get you two home."

The car trip home was a rather quiet one – the silence only broken by Charlie mentioning a new truck for Bella and my stories of India. It wasn't long until the cruiser pulled up to three bedrooms and one bathroom house.

Although it had been years since I had seen it, the house was just as I remembered except for the large faded red truck. Charlie got out of the front and opened the door for me. He then opened the trunk and both Bella and I collected our bags with Charlie carrying the leftovers.

As I approached the house a breeze blew against my face, pulling strands of loose hair to whip my face. A shiver scurried down my spine and I looked back at the empty streets. All the houselights seemed to be switched off and there were no cars, humans or animals wandering about like in India – a forever busy and exciting labyrinth. My fingers ran up and down my arm as I took in my surroundings. The loamy fragrance of Forks tickled my senses.

"You coming kiddo?" Charlie asked from the porch. With a smile and nod, I skipped up the stairs and slowed once I entered the interior of the house. As I made my way further in, my fingers grazed the white walls covered with childhood pictures as I followed Charlie up a narrow staircase. I was careful not to scrap my bags against the white walls as I followed Charlie silently down a short corridor, stopping at the last door. He rested his hand against the wooden door and applied pressure for it to swing open.

The room was familiar to me, as my mother and I used to stay in here when he visited. It was rather small but its coloring brought about a light that seemed unfamiliar to the rest of Forks. Pressed against the wall was a single bed encased in a white duvet. It had been positioned it in a certain way so it rested against the window. In that way, when I woke up all I had to do was turn my head and see the town wake up with me.

Woven into the fabric of the duvet where small pastel colored flowers that captured a delicate beauty. Other than the bed, there was an antique white desk situated opposite the window that faced the front yard, which was already covered in boxes of books that had been shipped over. Upon its white surface also sat a small vase of pink tulips and a messy bundle of white phone cords. Across from my bed was a large white bookcase that had four shelves for my books and ornaments.

Slipping my black converse off, I buried my toes in the plush cream carpet and spun around on the balls of my feet to face Charlie. With a gentle smile, I looked at him as he leaned awkwardly against the doorframe, his arms crossed and body tense. "I love it!" I told him happily.

"I'm glad you like it," Charlie replied in a gruff manner and I knew from experience that he was embarrassed by my thanks. I smiled in response and we stood there for a while, trapped in an uncomfortable silence. My fingers played with the hem of my skirt as I waited out the silence until he eventually left, closing the door with a soft click.

With Charlie now gone, I made my way over to my suitcase and knelt down on the carpet to unpack my things. I first took out my shoes followed by my clothes and violin music books. My violin was still downstairs, so after I had emptied the contents of my suitcase and the boxes I made my way downstairs to retrieve it. As expected, my violin was leaning against the front door, its case cold and sweaty. Heaving it up the stairs, I walked past Bella's room, which faced the backyard. Her door was ajar and clothes scattered the floor of her room.

After placing my violin in my room, I wondered back to my cousin's room and gave a light tap on her door. Startling her, she whirled around and stumbled over a box on the floor. I ran to her and caught her arm to stop her from falling. I offered her a small smile as she collected herself.

Now that Charlie was gone I could see how she really felt and that was not happy. Her features were pulled down in a nervous grimace and her eyes looked sad and lost.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked softly.

She shrugged before answering, "I'm just nervous for tomorrow, I guess." With that emotionless response, she turned from me and sat down on her bed in an ungraceful manner. My arms wrapped around myself and I knelt down in front of my younger cousin, taking her shaking hands into mine. I gazed up into her eyes with hope and squeezed her hands.

"I just have a bad feeling about tomorrow." She mumbled, looking down at our hands. From the emails and phone calls that Bella and I exchanged, I knew she had never fit it. She was always on the outside and often struggled to relate to anyone who approached her. I gave Bella the best smile I could. For some reason, I had always felt that I had to protect her, even when I was half way across the world. She was the younger one, the baby of our small family, and always stumbling over things and getting hurt. I knew I had to be strong for her but as I looked up into her small chocolate brown eyes her sadness remind me of my own. The truth was, despite being excited for a new adventure I was frightened for tomorrow and still grieving over leaving India and my mama's death.

"Do you like it here?" She asked me as she looked towards the rain-streaked window. "Do you…want to go back to India?"

"I do miss India but…but I also think I'll like it here and in time you will too." I told her with a smile, "all you need to do is smile and soon that external happiness will become internal." I told her with hope glazing my words as I tried to convince myself of them too.

"Always the optimist." She said amused and I got to my feet to give her an encouraging hug.

"Always and forever." I whispered in her hair and rubbed her back in a soothing gesture. "Just, have faith and enjoy the surprises." I pulled back to examine her, happily seeing that she had cheered up. "I'll be in my room if you need me." I told her and gave her hand one final squeeze before making my way to the door.

"Willa?" I twirled around at the threshold to see her now standing.

"Yes?" I asked and tilted my head to the side like a small bird.

"Thank you." Her voice was gentle and sweet. "I've really…really missed you."

"Me too." I replied and turned to leave with a smile on my face yet fear caging my heart. "Hush now." I whispered to myself as I walked to my room. "Everything will be alright, everything will be alright." And once I entered the safety of my room, I closed the door and slide down it's smooth surface – my body landing with a heavy thump. I then brought my knees up to my chest and pressed my cheek against my kneecap as I rocked back and forth, back and forth. "Everything will be alright, everything will be alright."


	2. Chapter 2

**~ Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight and no copyright infringement is intended ~**

 **Authors Note: Hello Everyone! I just wanted to thank everyone who reviewed, favorited and followed. You are all so kind, sweet and simply wonderful for doing so :) Here is the next chapter so I hope you enjoy! If you have any questions, criticisms, suggestions or anything please feel free to leave a review! Happy Reading :)**

As the threads that connected me to the dream world slowly frayed, I shivered at the coolness of the air – it's loamy fragrance tickling my nose as a gentle reminder that I was no longer in India. I snuggled in closer to the soft duvet and kept my eyes closed as the fabric caressed my cheek. Hugging the duvet a little tighter and nuzzling my nose against the tip of my grey bunnies head, I ran my fingers along the silken mattress. The comforter was far thicker than the one I had in India but I suppose that was because I rarely needed one – rarely needed a sheet or blanket, as I tended to sleep underneath the protective gazes of the stars above.

Not yet wanting to face a reality haunted by stares and schoolwork – a world without Fitz, I allowed myself to drift in and out of consciousness. The world was a blur as random images ghosted across my eyelids. A hand on my shoulder momentarily brought me back to reality, but after a second I was lost once more. I could feel someone trying to wake me as I tried to cling onto this wallowing, peaceful blackness.

It was only when an unknown force came crashing down onto my cheek that my eyes flickered open. I released a small gasp that quickly slid into a moan. With my fingers, I pushed at the pillow until I could no longer feel it's cool fabric against my cheek before swiftly tucking my head underneath the duvet.

"Willa, wake up." Bells said in a groggy voice and hit me once more.

"But…but i-it's not morning yet." I muffled into the duvet – my bunnies head now safely underneath my chin.

"Willa, it's seven in the morning and class starts soon." I slowly pealed back the covers – just enough so both my and bunnies eyes could peep out to see Bella sitting on the bed holding her pillow. She was still dressed in her pyjamas and her hair was messy with her unruly curls. "You have to get up."

I hoisted myself up on my elbows so I could look out the window. Behind the rain splattered glass the small town was enveloped in fog – the sky mirroring the sleepy haze that clouded the minds of those who were forced to wake. Turning my head back so I could look into Bell's eyes, I allowed myself to fall back onto my bed – to coil into myself like a child in protest.

"But the sun is still sleepy, so maybe…maybe we could wait for her to wake up first?" I wondered aloud with foolish eyes that made my cousin smile.

"What sun?" She asked me, flicking her eyes to the window for just a moment. "And when did your optimism leave you?"

"Oh, it hasn't." I said in a small defensive voice, shaking my head as my light brown hair fell over my shoulders. "She just went to sleep when I did. She'll be up and about soon." I told her, shifting my gaze to the plain, white ceiling. I frowned, furrowed my eyebrows at its nakedness. I raised my hand up to that white sky above and licked the dryness away from my lips as I thought how I could transform it; bring a sense of familiarity to it. "I-I think I'm going to paint."

"To paint?" Bella asked – confusion binding her words. I looked back at her to see her tug her hair behind her ear. I nodded, sitting up in bed as the covers fell down to my waist. "Paint what?"

With wide, imaginative eyes I replied, "the stars." I held up both of my hands and wiggled my fingers as if to mirror the shimmering movement of a fictional star.

"Yea, well first you have to go to school." Bella said with a motherly tone to her voice. I suddenly felt sadness nibble at my heart as memories of my mama – the fact that she was no longer here bit and tore at my flesh. I forced a smile to my eyes and widened them in hopes that fragments of glee and courage would piece together my dark brown irises. "Come on." She pulled at my covers and reluctantly; I swung my legs over the side of the bed – the cool carpet sending a slippery icicle down my back.

"Jeepers it's cold!" I exclaimed and leapt out of bed – wrapping my arms around me tightly as I trembled.

"Well, better get used to it." Bella said. "The heaters don't work." She stated as I attempted to turn one on for myself. When nothing happened, I licked away the cool shell that had formed over my lips and ran my hands up and down my trembling arms. "I'll see you in ten?" She asked and I nodded in response with a smile before she left.

With my little cousin now gone, I padded my way to my wardrobe with nimble steps and retrieved my clothing for the day. I traded in my pyjamas for a pleated caramel skirt that's hem was slightly fraying, a black shirt with a peter pan collar and cupped sleeves and to keep me warm – a comfy purple cardigan. I then slipped on black tights, converse and a headband to complete my first day look. Standing in front of the mirror, I closed my eyes.

I let my arms hang loose at my side, my shoulders slumping and my mind – my mind crack open to spill all of it's vulnerability, all of it's nervous energy, it's every doubt and fear into me. I let all those negative emotions fill me, consume me as it wriggled within me and snaked around each of my veins. I let them strangle my muscles and swim within my blood like schools of trembling fish. I didn't have my mama to comfort me, I didn't have Fitz at my side and I didn't have the comfort of knowing there would be people like me – travellers, explores. So I let myself become buried within these emotions, within these feelings that no one must ever see, ever know of. But when I opened my eyes, when I parted my lips to let the cool air whistle down my lungs, I closed that crack in my mind and concealed them.

Blinking, breathing – I let the air calm me as my positivity bloomed within me once more. With a final smile at my reflection, I slung my bag over my shoulder and made my way downstairs where I found Charlie sitting at the small kitchen table as he ate his breakfast whilst reading the paper.

Offering him a small smile as I went to the fridge I said, "Good Morning, I hope you slept well."

"Um, yea." He replied as I moved to search the cabinets for something eatable, closing the fridge with my hip. "You?" He asked.

I gave him a small nod. "Surprising yes. The rain was almost like a lullaby."

"Seriously?" Bella asked as she came down the stairs. I simply shrugged and decided on some toast and fruit. We mainly ate in silence and once Charlie had finished, he wished us both luck for school and left for a long day of work. It wasn't long before Bells and I had to leave as well. We wanted to get there early, in hopes of avoiding the stares, so once we finished getting ready we got into Bells old red truck and drove off into the enchanting rain.

* * *

The trip to Forks High School was rather quick and pleasant. The tunes on the radio were playing softly in the background as Bella drove. Sitting cross-legged in the passenger seat, I rested my head against the window and listened to the water droplets. Opening the window, I stretched out my arm – my palm facing the weeping sky. The droplets prickled my skin in a gentle, soothing manner. I titled my fingers upwards and watched as the rain ran down my fingers and trickled underneath my sleeve. If this is the way rainy days are here – this would be the last time I rode within Bell's truck.

"Willa, could you close the window?" Bella asked. I rolled my head to the side and smiled at my sister as the rain droplets played on my skin. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, prompting her to explain why I should shut out something so magical. "I don't like the cold," she shook her head as her features pulled into a look of discomfort – disgust. "Any cold wet thing…"

"Do not be angry with rain; it simply does not know how to fall upwards – Vladimir Nabokov." I spoke the words from memory as I turned my attention to the soft, visible lullaby outside. I could hear a puff of laughter escape Bell's lips at my words and when I flicked my gaze to her, I was happy to see a playful smile tug at the corner of her lips. "Here" With my free hand, I switched the radio off with the soft pressure of my finger against plastic. "Listen," I told her softly. And with that, for the remainder of the trip we did just that – listen as the rained soothed our trembling nerves.

* * *

As we approached the school I withdrew my hand from the rain but kept the window open. Drawing my knees up to my chest, I wrapped my arms around them and rested my cheek against my kneecaps as I looked at the school. Seeing a sign with 'Forks High School' written on it with big bold letters, the truck turned off the highway and drove up to the school. I licked the dryness away from my lips and turned to look at my cousin once she had parked the car. I watched as she drew in a shaky breath before I outstretched my hand to hold hers. My thumb stroked her oh so pale skin, in hopes that the motion would sooth her somehow – remind her that she wasn't alone.

"Everything's going to be alright." I told her gently. "I'm right here." She turned her head towards me and offered me a tiny smile.

"I know." She took in a deep breath – her chest rising and falling dramatically. "Lets do this."

After squeezing each other's hands, we got out of the car. There weren't many students around just yet, which was a gentle relief. I let my shoulders sag slightly and loosen my grip on the strap of my bag as I walked around the trunk to where my cousin stood. Entwining our arms, we huddled together as we walked down a small path lines with flowers that dropped underneath the weight of the rain. For the few students who trickled the school grounds, staring at Bells and I, I gave them a cheerful smile and for those who smiled back, a little wave.

Once inside the small office building, I was slightly surprised at how warm it was. There was only one desk in the room and behind it sat a redhead woman who looked up above her spectacles as we approached. Taking my arm away from Bell's I took a step forward and brushed some damp hair behind my ear.

"Hello." I said shyly with a smile. "My name is Willa Fawn and this is my little cousin Isabella Swan." I gestured behind me to where Bella stood. I wasn't sure what else I was supposed to say, as I had never been in this situation before. My mama had always taken me to school on the first day. She would wrap her arms around me and sing ancient songs in my ear to calm me down. She would kiss my cheek and ruffle my hair - but ... never again.

"Off course, the Chief has told us all about you two." She exclaimed as she spun around on her chair to dig through a messily stacked pile of files that rested on a cabinet whose drawers were too full to shut properly. "Here we are." She said with triumph coaxing her words out. She spun back around on her chair and placed two piles of sheets on the counter. I ran my finger along the edges of the paper before plucking them up, as Bella did the same. We ran our eyes over our timetables in curiosity and my lips twitched with happiness and the classes I had been put into.

The tip of my finger ran down the side of my schedule – hovering over each class before moving on to the next.

The classes, which I had been placed into where Environmental Science, Physics, English, Calculus, Music Theory, Physical Ed and lastly my lips parted slightly as my finger, trembled over the subject – World History. Despite having a love for different cultures, languages and discovering different elements that construct a nation – I had always disliked History. It was a subject of a past – a past that would not return in the form of the future or time travel. Because of this, I had never put much effort into it – never done well in it and it became hard to care when there was so much more to do, so much more to explore and see that was in the present, that I could touch, small, taste and be in.

"Thank you, miss." I replied politely as she handed us two pink slips that we had to get signed by our teachers before the end of the day. "Have a lovely day."

"Hold on, Miss Fawn. I need to speak with you for a moment." The lady called just as I had turned my back to leave. I scrunched up and nose and squeezed my eyes as I predicted the subject of the conversation she wanted to have. I nodded, and quickly relaxed my face as I turned to face her. Bells took a step towards me – confusion molding her features. "Alone." The lady said and pushed her glasses higher up the brim of her nose. I glanced towards Bella who gave me a questioningly look but I simply shrugged and gave her an encouraging smile as she left. With my cousin now gone, I took a step towards the desk. "Miss Fawn," She drawled as her eyes ran over my transcripts. "It seems to me that from your previous grades you are clearly capable of passing all of your courses, all expect one." I gave her a timid nod, watching as she held up a finger to illustrate her point. I swallowed deeply. "Do you need me to tell you what it is, or are your results from the past years enough for you to make an accurate guess?"

"World History?" I asked sheepishly and received a curt nod as confirmation.

"Yes, that is the one Miss Fawn." She replied and placed my transcripts back down on the table. "Because of your grades I have talked to your history teacher and he has decided that it would be best if you have a tutor." I widened my eyes slightly – trying my best to keep my features calm and composed. "Your teacher, Mr. Monroe, has appointed his top student as your tutor to ensure that you do not fail as you have done…" she sighed as she looked back down at my transcripts, "in your previous exams. You will meet on Mondays, Wednesday and Fridays after your last class in the Library and the session will last as long as it takes for you to understand the information you are taught." I nodded in understanding. It was no surprise that I would be getting a tutor but I couldn't help but succumb to the gnawing pain – the pain that reminded me my tutor would not be Fitz.

"Yes, Miss." I replied, inclining me head as she smiled at my acceptance.

"Great. Mr. Monroe has suggested that you two sit together so your sessions after school will be more manageable. Your first session will start this Wednesday." And with that, she dismissed me with a simply wave and I embarked on the journey to find my first class.

* * *

As time went on it became more and more clear to me that this school was a labyrinth of brick and marble. Every building that I slipped into became more and more suffocating due to the lack of fresh air, of a raw and untameable cage. I walked through the hallways – slipping in-between the gaps of the bustling groups of students. I hugged my books and papers to my chest, trying to become as small as possible as I searched for my class. It was only when the chatter in the halls died to a distant echo and the number of students dwindled down to zero that I knew I was in trouble.

Sighing, I paused in the middle of a silent hallway and looked at my map. I turned it this way and that, tracing my finger along the bold red lines. I had never been good at map reading – I tended to rely on my senses but right now, all my senses could pick up was the sticky smell of sweat mingled with air freshener. I released a small puff of frustration as I looked around my surroundings before deciding to keep on walking. I tightened my hold on my shoulder strap as I continued to walk down the hallway with hope persuading each step.

It was only when I rounded the corner that I ran straight into someone. I was propelled to the floor; a small noise of surprise escaped my throat as my body sprawled against the marble floor. Hoisting myself up, I peered through the curtain of hair to see the girl I had bumped into. She was pretty – with delicate features upon her roundish face flecked with freckles that lay over her nose and upper cheeks. Her hair was a range of butterscotch and light blond hues that fell in long straight strands down past her shoulders. Her ocean blue eyes widened in shock, in embarrassment at what had just happened.

"Oh, I-I'm s-so sorry." She stuttered out, quickly adverting her gaze to the mess of papers and books that lay scattered between us. She reached out a trembling hand and began to separate our papers. "I-I d-didn't h-hurt you, d-did I?"

I have her a soft smile and pushed some of my hair back so I could help her gather her papers before tending to my own. She seemed shy, and was slightly on the chubby side – her aura warm and comforting. "Oh, no you didn't hurt me." I told her gently with a smile. I handed her the rest of her papers – noticing the high grades that were written upon them in felt tip pen. My eyes lingered over her marks, slightly intimidated by her intelligence. "I may be small, but I'm as tough as nails I am." I told her lightly in an attempt to ease whatever tension or social fear she may have. For my whole life, I had always looked out for the shy kids – the outcasts and it wasn't just because I was a shy girl too. It was because I knew what it was like, to be bullied, to be looked at as different ... and because of that I made a promise to myself to never let anyone feel left out - alone.

Her lips twitched upwards at my statement and the trembling in her hands slowed. "I'm Willa," with my free hand I outstretched it slightly, "I'm new here." I told her shyly as she looked at my hand before slipping her own into mine.

"J-Josephine." She tightened her grip on my hand as her confidence bloomed within her. "B-but most p-people call me Josie."

The smile widened across my lips as I inclined my head and released her hand. Lifting my eyes back up to hers I replied, "Josie it is." I kept my words soft, delicate as we stood and exchanged papers. Josie was a lot taller than me, but I suppose that wasn't hard to be. She wore a pretty white top with a navy blue cardigan for warmth and jeans.

"S-so, what class do you h-have now?" I was relieved by her question – hoping that perhaps she could help me find my way. Shuffling through my books, I smiled lightly when I found the one I searched for. Holding it up, I showed her my Physics book and crunched up my nose at the sight of it. The only reason I had done Physics was for Fitz, so he would never have to be alone. We sat together, helped each other – him with my grades and me with his happiness. But now as I looked at the book, as I realised that I would walk into that class without Fitz, I couldn't resist wrinkling my nose and poking my tongue at it's menacing, metaphorical stare.

"Oh, I-I can take you, i-if you like," she said sweetly, pointing behind her back with her outstretched thumb. "We-we're in the s-same class." With a smile of gratitude and a nod of acceptance I followed her down the hallway lined with lockers – each one of her long strides were two of mine. "S-so, I-I guess you like t-to read?" I narrowed my eyes in slight confusion but widened them slightly when I saw she still held my copy of Dracula in her hands.

Plucking the book with gentle care from her hands, I skipped slightly ahead of her before whirling around on the balls of my seat so I could walk facing her. "Books," I began, my fingers caressing the white, cool metal of the lockers as I walked, "are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers – Charles William Eliot." When I finished, I paused midstride and leaned against one of the lockers, with a light smile waltzing across my lips at her surprise. "Do you read?" I wondered aloud.

"Y-yes." She admitted timidly. "B-but mostly for school." She gestured to the pile of books in her hands with the end of her chin. "Did you know that studies have concluded that r-reading m-makes you more en-engaged throughout l-life and a-assists in the enhancement of a-analytical thinking?" I looked up from the books she held to meet her now sparkling eyes with captivation glimmering within my own.

"I…" I shook my head with a timid smile. "How do you know that?" I wondered, fascinated with the remark and intelligence her mind must have. She looked away as a blush crept up her neck to stain her two cheeks.

"I-I, ah, I remember things easily." She informed me, shifting her books within her arms.

"Then I suppose you must be one of the lucky ones, aren't you?" I teased, walking towards her and nudging her shoulder gently with my own. She smiled, shyly, happily and embarrassed. "Come on then, lets get to class." And with that we resumed walking down the empty halls – our shoes and chatter, echoing through the hallways and perhaps drifting underneath the closed doors.

After wondering the twisting halls, Josie eventually stopped outside a closed door – her had hovering over the handle. It trembled slightly as if unsure whether or not to open it or not. She then dropped her hand to her side and mustered up the best comforting smile her lips could perform. "I…I k-know w-what it's like to be the n-new kid h-here and I'm s-sure you'll be fine but…" She shifted her gaze to her feet as she pondered her words. "If you need," she lifted her eyes to mine once more, "any help then – then I'm always here." My features softened at her words, at her kindness and I felt a sudden urge to envelop her in my arms.

But instead I gave her a gentle smiled and said, "thank you, that's very sweet of you." I told her honestly before nodding towards the handle, indicating that she could open the door.

Twisting the handle, the door opened with a soft click to reveal a class whose students all turned their eyes to us, the second the door had loosened a sound. I rolled back my shoulders as I tried to fake confidence. I gave the class a small wave, my fingers moving like a little Mexican wave, before I followed Josie towards the frowning teacher cloaked in a white lab coat.

The teacher, whose name I quickly discovered as Mrs. Florence had crow like features – her inky black hair was tied up in a server bun that tightened her features and tugged at the corners of her eyes. I handed her over my pink slip, which she signed with a tight signature. She then placed a hand on my back as she pointed to a desk at the back and informed me that my lab partner for the semester would be Josie. Despite feeling the pressure of stares, I could feel the tension slowly leak out of invisible holes as I took my seat next to Josie. I didn't think I would have made a friend so quickly but here she was – a quiet, sweet girl who had shown me a kindness that was a rare thing to come by.

She took me to each of my classes and the further I went with her at my side, the lighter my steps became, the more relaxed I was. But Fitz was still nibbling at my heart. It was as if I searched for his ghost – every turn I made, every step I took, I felt myself looking for him, to see his sweet face as he walked towards me with a jump in his stride and a pile of books cradled in his arms. I wondered what he would think of it here, how he would take in the weather – the people and the absence of raw nature that had once engulfed us.

After Environmental Science, Josie began walking me to my worst subject, World History, when she bumped into a tall and slightly gangly boy. He stopped to steady her – the touch of his hands turning her cheeks a rosy pink. By his height I could guess that he was a senior like us. His hair was dark and lustrous and a pair of coffee colored eyes swiveled from Josie's to meet mine.

After wiping his hand against his jeans, he outstretched it towards me with a friendly, goofy smile stretching his lips. "Otto." He said in a voice with fake deepness. "Is-is me." He quickly released my hand to place it on his chest.

"Hello." I responded lightly with a smile. "I'm –"

"Willa." He finished for me, his voice loosing its deepness and his eyes suddenly widening as I arched my eyebrow in surprise. ""I-I uh, it's just that w-we don't get many new s-students here." He admitted as if to justify why he knew my name. I shook my head at his embarrassment, wanting to tell him that it was all right and that there was no need for the redness blooming underneath his cheeks. But before I could tell him, he quickly continued on. "Well, uh, I think I should go. But, uh, maybe I'll see you around…maybe at school since we both go here and are seniors." I smiled at his awkwardness and went on my tiptoes to place a comforting hand upon his shoulder.

"It was lovely meeting you, Otto." I told him cheerfully, squeezing his shoulders slightly as I watched the tension drip out of him. I dropped my hand to my side, releasing a puff of laughter as he gave me a casual salute.

After he left and Josie and I continued our way to World History, I couldn't help but notice the way her cheeks remained a soft tinge of red – her nose twitching as she smiled shyly. When we arrived outside my World History classroom, I could feel my nerves bubbling inside me. Josie gave me a one-arm hug, which I happily turned into a full one before quickly pulling back and apologising for my forwardness. Josie, however, did mind and promised to come and get me for lunch.

After waving her goodbye, I took in a deep breath – closed my eyes and whispered, " _Everything is going to be alright_ ," before forcing my courage to bloom from closed buds and walked into the class. I could feel the student's stares – my skin tingling at where they looked. I smiled at them lightly – not afraid of meeting their curious stares with polite ones. Once I reached Mr. Monroe, he stood from his chair that released a small groan when he did so. He offered me a warm smile that eased my nerves but the very sight of all the pre-written notes on the Russian Revolution caused my nerves to quickly consume me. I handed him the slip, which he sighed.

"I've been told that you've been informed about having a tutor?" He stated, keeping his voice low so the rest of the class wouldn't hear.

"Yes, sir." I replied and he nodded in approval before running his hands through his salt and pepper hair.

"I hope it didn't make you feel uncomfortable, but I thought it would be best to nip any problems that might occur now rather than later." I nodded in understanding before he turned to the class and scanned the rows of students. Like all the other classes, there were two students seated at each desk with narrow walkways separating the desks. The student's stares were heavy on me as they watched in curiosity and anticipation.

"I've placed you next to your new tutor who you will start sessions with on Wednesday so," He said quietly, leaning in to whisper in my ear. He then cleared his throat, straightened his back and raised his voice so the rest of the class would now hear him. "Mr. Hale can you please raise your hand."

My eyes searched the room before stopping on a pale hand raised in the air, I took a step forward and my breath hitched in my chest when I saw his face. I may be wild, I may be friendly and I may have male friends…but I was still just a girl, a girl who became easily intimated by attractive boys and a girl who could not stop the fluttering of her heart when her eyes clasped upon a handsome man. But I never judged anyone by their appearance – never. So I locked away my fluttery nerves, caged my hiccupping heart and walked towards Mr. Hale.


	3. Chapter 3

**~ Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight and no copyright infringement is intended ~**

 **Authors Note: Hello Everyone! :) I just wanted to thank everyone who reviewed, favorited and followed. You are the sweetest people, the kindest and I feel so blessed to have you as readers and reviewers. I've been going through a very hard time and I've found that it is only through writing that I've been able to find some sort of...tranquility and safety. To Gawky TC, Starlight and DarkAngel2581,** **I am not sure how to repay you for your kind, beautiful words and actions. But just know that I am forever grateful and if there is anything I can do, anything you want me to write then just let me know! I'm sending you three air hugs and bubbles of happiness :) Anyhoo, enough of my rambling, here is the new chapter and I hope you enjoy! :)**

It was a strange thing – being the new kid. It's as if your foreign presence could snuff out the gossip, the mundane conversation and consume everything that surrounds you, including silence. So, as I walked down the narrow path, lined with desks on either side, I held my head high as the conversation slid into captivated glares. A timid smile waltzed across my lips as I met the eyes of students, students who were taking in my every detail as they determined where I would fit on the social ladder – the type of person I may be.

Sliding into my seat, I spared a glance at the boy sitting next to me. His posture was impeccable and his figures were as white as virgin snow as they coiled around the edge of the table. He resembled a perfect, colored in statue with skin paler than the crust of a porcelain doll…yet just as delicate. His mouth was pulled into a tight line and every muscle in his face was tense. Outstretching my index finger, I allowed it to brush over his knuckle, keeping my touch as delicate as the kiss of a floating dandelion against flesh. His eyes snapped to mine, his hand hiccupping underneath my touch.

"Sorry." I whispered, maintaining a warm smile and friendly eyes. I slowly withdrew my finger and outstretched my hand towards his. "Hello, there." My words were gentle as they hid underneath the history lecture. "I'm Willa, Willa Fawn." His eyes were the color of yellow–deepened with the fire that filtered in behind them. But those eyes that bore into mine were an enigma. Golden flames of suffering and pain seemed to lick the glass walls of his eyes. But as I lowered my head to nod a hello – to coax a response from his throat, the fire in his eyes dwindled down to a smoldering ember. My eyes flicked to his curled fingers and I watched as they slowly relaxed.

"My apologies, I'm Jasper. Jasper Hale." His voice was tight – controlled, as he outstretched a timid hand. The tips of our fingers kissed – teased one another in a cautious manner before they called upon their courage and held each other. His grip was firm – large as it swallowed my small hand. But what captured my attention most was the coldness of his hand. I refused to let him know how cold his hand was in mine, though I was tempted to offer my cardigan to him for an extra layer of warmth.

"Oh, sorry!" I quickly whispered as I was still holding onto his hand. His lips twitched as I broke our physical touch – a tinge of prickling pink staining my cheeks.

The lesson that I was now caged within seemed longer than the others, the monotone of the professor drummed in my ears. The professor's lecture was only interrupted by the scratching of pencils and the repetitive sniffing of the boy sitting next to me. I ignored it for the first few sniffs but as they continued – grew deeper, I reached down into my bag to retrieve a small packet of tissues. He seemed amused when I handed them to him – surprised. The corner of his lips trembled and his eyes narrowed before he shook his head and returned his focus on the lecture.

We were supposed to be copying down the notes that our teacher scribbled on the board, but it didn't take long before I found myself with my novel open between my knees. After the lecture, Mr. Moore then gave us our new textbooks. When he stopped at our desk, I didn't fail to notice the suspicious look that he gave me.

"Willa." He said. A smile lit up his face when he thought I was taking notes. However, when he leaned in a little, I watched with fearful eyes as his forehead crinkled. He sighed, "I understand that coming to a new school must be difficult and that you dislike this subject. However, whilst you are in my class I expect you to focus." He said stiffly. "Do you think you can do that for me?" He asked, softening his tone.

Discreetly closing _A tale of two cities_ , I gave him an apologetic look. "I'm sorry sir." I replied. But from what he knew about my history grades and the look he gave me, I knew he was dubious about my apology. With that, he spun around and walked back to the front of the class to dish out an absurd amount of homework.

As I packed up my things, I felt a feather brush across my back as Jasper quickly passed me – his hand applying the lightest of pressures for me to move out of his way. I quickly apologized before stepping to the side to allow him to pass. He seemed shy, a person who suffered from unwanted attention for his appearance and I…I felt sorry for him.

Shaking my head, I slung my bag over my shoulder and nimbly made my way out of the classroom. I was instantly greeted with the bustling crowds and quickly took a step back into the classroom as I waited for people to pass. But when I realized my patience was in vain, I took a deep breath and quickly inserted myself into the crowd. I wrapped my arms around me as tightly as I could – apologizing each time a stranger bumped into me. It was only when I saw Josie coming towards me that my anxiety slowly dissolved.

"H-hello." Josie stuttered as she fell into step with me, her arm pressing against mine so we wouldn't lose one another. "H-how wa-was class?" She wondered with a soft genuine voice.

"It was," I paused as I searched for the right world, "interesting." I settled with. "I've never been a big fan of history." I told her honestly, walking on my tiptoes so she could hear me. "I mean, why learn about the past when you can live in the now?" I fell down to the palms of my feet. "That and we got a lot of homework." I continued anxiously. "Two essays on the Russian Revolution and a whole bundle of reading." I held up my history book before gazing at it as if it had physically hurt me. "Just the size of this book is enough to give me the trembly trembles." I shivered to prove my point. "Ooo locker alert!" I exclaimed and pinched the end of Josie's cardigan to pull her towards my locker.

As I twiddled the lock on my locker, Josie leaned against the other as she said, "I-I'm s-sure you'll b-be just fine. Mr. Monroe is-is usually understanding." She replied and once my locker clicked open, I turned to Josie with a smile to see her friend, Otto, coming towards us. He walked with a goofy swagger – his hair falling over his eyes. When he reached us, he rested a casual arm over Josie's shoulder.

"Hello, you." I greeted him with a cheerful smile as I closed my locker.

"Hey! You guys busy? Am I interrupting? I'm interrupting, aren't I?" I couldn't help but pause at his strange yet comical awkwardness…feel memories of Fitz blossom up inside my mind…. and as I looked at Josie and Otto, the way they looked at each other – cared for each other, it was as if I was looking through a memory mirror – at what I once had. I couldn't help but suddenly wonder why I could no longer have what they do. What had I done that was so bad that I had my best friend taken away from me, my mama? I could feel those dark feelings nibble at my heart – bite at it, rip at it as the prickling in my eyes magnified. No, I shook my head as I tried to shake away those feelings, feelings I didn't want to possess in public.

"Nope." Josie popped, brining me back to the conversation.

"So, Willa what's, what? You liking it here?" He asked and I nodded with an enthusiasm I wasn't sure was fake or real.

"Yes, it's lovely here." I said without hesitation. "And it's so nice to meet both of you." My words honest in their meaning.

"Well, you know, we just want to make you feel welcome…to feel at home…unless you don't like your home, then that's not what we want." I shook my head at this with a little smile. "So, what's your favorite color, what do you do for fun, look for in a man," I rose an eyebrow as he tried to slip that in unnoticed, "we wanna hear it…uh… hear it all."

I stared back at the two of them, startled by their sudden interest in me.

"Jeepers." I exhaled, not knowing what to say. "Everyone wants to know about me, huh?"

"Well, not a lot happens in the small town of Forks. Your sister and you are pretty big news." Josie said and I shook my head once more.

"We're not really." I told her shyly, adverting my eyes to the floor. I had never received such attention at my previous schools. It wasn't that I didn't want it, I liked it – I loved meeting new people. Everybody has so many different and interesting stories and whenever they decided to open up, to reveal a mystery that now became ours to share – my ear were always ready to listen, to discover.

Lifting my gaze up, my pupils widened slightly at the sight of my cousin. I could feel myself relax; the small hands clasping my veins loosened as Bella approached. She was with a short, yet not shorter than I, girl. Her hair was voluminous, curly and brown – bouncing as she walked beside my younger cousin. When Bella's eyes captured sight of me, I watched as she loosened a sigh before quickening her pace. She jogged towards us – a hand holding onto the single strap of her bag before she enveloped me in a one-arm hug.

I felt her reluctance when I slowly pulled away and regarded her with worried eyes. As I introduced my cousin to Otto and Josie, I kept my arm around her waist in a gentle yet soothing gesture. I was the older one – her protector and from the moment I saw the worry, the anxiousness glazing her eyes I knew I had to get her, to get us, out of this claustrophobic building.

After saying goodbye to our new friends, I interlocked my arm with Bella's and made our way into the beckoning forest. Taking my arm out of Bella's, I bent down and took off my tights and shoes – placing them in my bag before craning my neck over my shoulder to smile at a bewildered Bella.

"I tried to discover," I began – my bare feet kissing the soil, the raw skin of the earth as we walked deeper into the forest. "In the rumor of forests and waves, words that other men could not hear," I kept my voice delicate, fragile as I walked in-between trees with my hand caressing their trunks. "And I pricked up my ears to listen to the revelation of their harmony – Gustave Flaubert." I paused; resting my cheek against the naked bark as my fingers tickled the tree's spine. Forests are truly the most magical of places. They are a labyrinth of mystery, a gateway to the impossible – to turn the things of dreams, the things of nightmares into reality.

I nuzzled my nose against the bark; breathing in its deep sent as if it were a drug. Craning my neck over my shoulder once more, I smiled at my cousin who now had her arms crossed as she shivered slightly in the cold. "Come on, you." I said cheerfully before pushing myself of the tree and skipping through the trees. I skipped, skipped with the wind in my hair and the trees a blur beside me as I went. My hair flapped like a tail as I moved, as I jumped over logs and balanced on fallen tree trunks. It was only when I heard a loud thump behind me that I whirled around in surprise.

Bella had tripped. Her hair covered her face as she hoisted herself off the ground and brushed the dirt from her pants. I bit my lip, suddenly feeling horrible that I had went so fast, that I had done what I used to do with Fitz, with my mama as they knew how to keep up. Fitz and Mama and shared my love for the wilderness, they had nurtured that love of mine, encourage it. But as I looked at my cousin, I knew then she wasn't mama, she wasn't my Fitz.

"I…I'm so sorry Bella." I said quickly, dropping my bag onto the damp soil before helping her.

She shook her head, "I'm fine." Bella told me, her eyes firm as she spoke. "But hey, let's not go any further." I nodded in agreement, trying to ignore the way my bones sang at the sight of the unexplored forest.

"Alright." I told her with a soft smile before helping her take her bag off. "We- we can just relax here. Y-you know? Away from the c-crowds?" I asked, my voice taking on the tone of a child as my eyes became foolishly wide.

"Yea, we can stay here." Bella replied before plopping down onto the floor and resting her back against the tree. I frowned, turning my back to her as I looked at the small stream that cut the forest in half. As Bella recited her day to me, her classes and the people she had met, I dripped my toes into the water. It was icy, but I didn't mind. As my cousin talked, I waded out further into the water until the transparent water nipped the tips of my shins. Bending down slightly, I pressed my hand against the water and watched as it moved softly around my outstretched fingers. I pulled my hand out of the water and observed the droplets, both transparent and opaque, fall as if they were snatched my gravity. I could easily stay here all day and as my eyes drifted from my hand to the stream, I was overwhelmed with the temptation to dive into the water.

"Don't even think about it." I heard Bella say bluntly from behind me. I turned and smiled at her.

"It's hard not to." I tell her honestly – imaging the water kissing my skin, moving around me like shifting velvet. "How long do we have till our next class?" I wondered aloud, flicking my gaze up to the sky.

Seeing my thoughts glimmer in my eyes, Bella shook her head. "Not enough to do what you're thinking." She said and gave me a stern and disapproving look as I flicked my eyes back to hers. I tried to plead with my youthful features, to mold them into a childlike begging face. But Bella simply shook her head and voiced her logical reasons on why I shouldn't dive into the water.

Sighing, I pushed away that child inside me, silenced the singing in my bones and got out of the water. We sat there for a little while, just talking. But unlike with Fitz, unlike with mama there were pauses. As we talked there was the presence of long pauses, pauses that had not existed when I conversed with Fitz and Mama. I hadn't seen Bella in such a long time and I knew it would take a while for our relationship to become what it once was, for the pauses to vanish and chatter to dominate.

When we decided to venture back into the school, after we had paid for our lunch I did not get the chance to find Otto and Josie before Bella's new friends hurried us to their table. I searched the cafeteria with my eyes as an Asian boy squeezed in-between Bella and I, draping his arms over our shoulders. I stiffened at the sudden touch in surprise and looked to Bella who showed the discomfort in her eyes that I was able to hide.

"Mike, you met my home girls Bella and Willa?" The boy said with smugness binding his words.

The boy named Mike, raised an eyebrow as he looked apologetically towards my sister and I. "Oh? Your home girls?" He asked with a hint of sarcasm when suddenly a boy grabbed the back of his chair and leaned in towards my cousin. I straightened my back – my protective instincts kicking in as I felt my nerve bubbles burst slowly.

"My home girls." The boy says before giving Bells a peck on the cheek, pulling out Mikes chair and running away. I craned my neck over my shoulder as I watched with amusement as the two boys chased one another out of the cafeteria. I scrunched my nose up in confusion, not remembering boys behaving that way in India.

"Ugh, oh my gosh." Jessica breathed and she shifted closer to Bella and I. "It's like first grade all over again, and you're the shiny new toys." She spoke as I shoveled a forkful of lasagna into my mouth. To my surprise, it was delicious – the taste igniting my taste buds. I smiled awkwardly at Jessica, my cheeks slightly puffed out due to the amount of food in my mouth. Jessica recoiled – her lips pursed as she stared at me judgingly. I swallowed quickly, having no time to savor the taste as I gathered myself.

My lips parted to ask Jessica a friendly question when suddenly a flash blinds me – dark spots ghosting over my eyes as I tried to peer through them. After rubbing my eyes with small fists, I was able to recapture my vision to see a small, sweet looking girl with beautifully shaped almond eyes and jet-black hair. In her hands she held a camera, an apologetic look molded her features.

"Sorry!" She gestured to her camera, "I needed a candid for the feature."

I gave her an understanding smile than soon tightened when I felt Eric lean into me. "Features dead, Angela. Don't bring it up again." He snapped, causing me to jerk in surprise at his harsh tone. I narrowed my eyes at him as he patted my back, rubbing his hand up and down my purple cardigan. "I got your back babies." My pupils widened in shock as he winked. My lips parted to speak, to spark a retort but before I could think of anything he quickly exited the situation.

I watched as Angela adverted her gaze to her camera with sad eyes. I could feel my heart droop in sadness for her. "It's okay, I guess we'll just run another editorial on teen drinking." She murmured and before I could restrain myself, I dropped my fork and reached out to place my hand over hers. Surprise glimmered in her eyes at my action.

"It's alright," I said gently – soothingly. "I'm sure that brilliant mind of yours will come up with something else, be able to write something else." I told her with a soft enthusiasm – encouragement. She gave me a small smile, the corners of her lips twitching upwards as I removed my hand to resume eating.

"Sorry." Bella said as she pushed her food around in embarrassment. "There's always eating disorders, or Speedo padding on the swim team."

The twitching of Angela's lips blossomed into a full smile as ideas ignited within her mind. "Wait!" She exclaimed with excitement. "That's a good one." I nodded in agreement, a timid smile pulling at the corners of my lips as I ate, as I gobbled up the delicious food on my plate. It was only when I had finished my meal that I noticed Bella had barely touched hers. My eyes frowned with concern – with worry. I turned towards her, licking my lips before parting them to ask if she was all right. But before I could part them, I paused when I saw her attention was transfixed somewhere else. I followed her gaze with my own and as my eyes followed hers, my pupils widened slightly when I realized what she was looking at. My cousins gaze was fixed on the table furthest from ours – a table that held four of the most physically, beautiful people I had ever seen, including my tutor - Jasper.

I felt Bella's warmth as she leaned into me, her shoulder brushing mine as she asked, "who are they?"

My eyes shifted to Jasper as Bella spoke her question. My lips parted in the tiniest of motions but no words escaped my throat. I quickly closed my mouth and shook my head with a timid smile to confess my bewilderment.

"They are the Cullens." I drifted my eyes up to Angela. She had abandoned her camera, her food and her previous ideas as she stared at the Cullens with dreamy eyes. I narrowed my eyes slightly, puzzled at how someone could look at someone else with such a look if they did not know them on a personal level. Or perhaps she did? It was personality that captivated me, not appearance, not status but the heart – the soul.

Jessica leaned in; her eyes were just as big as her hair as excitement bubbled within them. " "Doctor and Mrs. Cullen's foster kids. They all moved here from Alaska two years ago." She kept her voice hushed yet the excitement was evident as she spoke of them as a group – not individuals. I felt my eyebrows furrow as I looked at Jessica, at her willingness to gossip in such a manner.

"They kinda keep to themselves." Angela added, her voice but a bare whisper as her eyes continuously drifted from their table to her empty plate.

"They are…very nice-looking." My cousin said, trying to keep her voice casual as a blush crept onto her cheeks.

"Yes!" Jessica agreed. "But they're all together though." I tilted my head to the side in confusion – a prompt for her to explain although it was none of my business to know. "The blonde girl, Rosalie and the big dark-haired guy, Emmett…they're a thing. I'm not even sure that's legal."

Before I could process her words, Angela quickly added, "yea, but Jess, they're not actually related."

Jessica shook her head, "but they live together, it's weird." I was surprised at her statement, at her judgment. Who was she, who were we, to judge whether or not their relationship with weird? Jessica must have seen my disapproval, my cousin's confusion so she quickly continued on. "Okay, um, the little dark hair girl, Alice," she paused allowing Bella and I to quickly glance over our shoulders to see who she was addressing My eyes quickly found the girl in question and just as my eyes found Alice's, she found mine. Her two eyes – a mirror shade of Jasper's, were wide, too wide as she stared at me, into me. They held an expression of shock, of confusion, of frustration. Her hand was in Jasper's as he caressed her small hand in soothing movements. His lips were close to her ear as he whispered and the more he whispered, the more her eyes relaxed – her features become naturally delicate. A small smile waltzed across her lips at something Jasper had said and her eyes left mine. The way she stared into Jasper's eyes and he into hers – it was endearing, inspiring in the way that I hoped, that I wished, someday someone would look at me like that – with love.

I turned my attention back to Jessica who seemed to be bursting, as if her soul, her ideas would suddenly explode within her. "Well, she's really weird." She said with a smile that made me recoil from her.

"Who are the other two?" Bella quickly asked, placing a hand on my knee.

"Oh, well the one with the reddish-brown hair, that's Edward. The one with the honey-blonde hair, he's Jasper." I couldn't help but smile inwardly at the way Jessica and Angela stared at the two people in question. Their cheeks bloomed with red as their eyes glazed over in a dreamy, no – longing state. "They're both gorgeous, of course, but don't waste your time." Jessica said, anger seeming to coax her words. "Neither of them dates, although for a while everyone thought that Alice and Jasper were together but apparently they are just really close." I peeked over my shoulder as I looked back at Alice and Jasper, at the way they looked at one another, touched one another - I couldn't help but feel disappointed that they weren't together. But the more I thought about it, the more admiration I had for the two of them – to have a best friend who they loved so dearly, too dearly that they would never risk any possibilities of destroying that – and in that way, I understood.

"Anyways, none of the girls here are good-looking enough for them, not like I care though." Her words were sour and I knew then why she was frustrated – why she was so willing to talk about them. Seeing the smirks on both Jasper and Edwards faces as they looked towards Jessica explained it. Both of them had denied her.

As the conversation dwindled down, I decided to start on my Environmental Science Homework. It was one of my favorite subjects – a class that opened your mind to the raw history of how the earth, how the world and everything in it became the way it is now. It fascinated me so, so as I worked on my homework I felt no reluctance like I would in my other subjects, simply joy.

It was only when I felt a hand rest on my shoulder that I looked up from my work and into the deep brown of my cousin's eyes. "Hello, you." I said with a soft smile.

"First day and you're already doing homework?" She gestured to my papers with her eyes, a look of amusement flickering across her face.

I shrugged, smiling with my eyes and lips as I did so. "I can't help it." I told her childishly, "it's just so, freeing." I shrugged once more, nudging my cousin in a playful manner.

"Hey, I meant to ask. What did the lady at the office want?" Her question hadn't caught me off guard. From the moment, I had been told I was having a tutor I had prepared – prepared an answer for my cousin - a lie. I shrugged casually before answering. "She just wanted to talk to me about my homework scores. My history teacher thinks I can do better here if I just focus more… so they've allowed me more access to the library after school." I felt guilt nip at my heart but I tried to ignore it as I spoke. The reasons coaxing out my lie was a plethora, a plethora that only made my guilt flicker within me instead of igniting. I didn't want Bella to know I had a tutor; I didn't want her to know my weaknesses. For my whole life I had been the protector – the strong one. My little cousin knowing that I needed help…it would be a weakness, a weakness I didn't want her to know I had. And as I looked at Jasper, after I met him and knowing of the gossip, of the attention that surrounded him – I was afraid that him being my tutor would only magnify the attention of me, on him.

Bella had believed my lie, and just as the bell ran to single the end of lunch I gathered my things, said farewell to my cousin and her friends before making my way to PE. As I walked, I noticed the way people stared at the Cullen family, the way they gawked at them, chased them with their eyes. So, the when the Cullens look my way I made sure that I did none of those things. So as they stared at me as I walked passed their lockers I smiled. My smile pulling at my lips as I gave them a little wave, a way of saying I did not judge them – did not isolate them into any social category. Although they did not smile back I did not waver my grin nor drop my wave. No one deserved to be judged – to be isolated and that was what my smile and wave promised – never judge, never isolate - only accept.

 **Authors Note: So there ya'll have it! I hope it was alright. I'm quite a nervous writer, and shy in general about what I do so it would be lovely to hear any thoughts and suggestions. Just to give me a little confidence or know if people like it and want me to continue sharing 3 I hope you all have beautiful days, and no matter what troubles you may be going through...know that you are never alone 3**


	4. Chapter 4

**~Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight and no copyright infringement is intended~**

 **Hello everyone! I just wanted to thank everyone for their support and reviews to this story. You are all beyond sweet and there has not been a word created to describe how magnificent you all are. Thank you to my followers and favourites too and anyone who is reading this! You are all shining stars. Anyhoo, here is the next chapter, I've written little replies to each for my reviewers at then end. I hope you enjoy! Happy Reading! :)**

I ran – each thump of my feet against the gym floor mimicking my heartbeat. I kept my breathing steady, calm as I ran nimbly with the other students around the rectangle shape of the gymnasium. I had always loved running, loved its freeing nature as my blood sang and danced within me. Peaking over my shoulder, a small smile sprinted across my lips as I checked on Josie and Otto. With their heads bobbling and hair sticking to their faces like a second skin I could tell they were not runners. Capturing Otto's eyes, I cheekily peeked my tongue through my smiling teeth before turning back to the front. A deep breath of warm, sweaty air whistled down my throat in a tranquil gesture and I couldn't help but close my eyes and listen to the rhythmic beats of hearts, feet and gasping breaths. My lips parted and tilted upwards as I relished its song, the way my blood bubbled and fizzed within me as I ran, ran behind the two Cullen brothers of Emmett and Jasper. Opening my eyes, I narrowed them in an agitated envy at the lack of sweat that lingered on their grey shirts.

It was only when the coach blew the whistle that I collided into the backs of the two brothers – my small hands pressing against their dry grey shirts as I balanced myself. Quickly apologising, I hastily made my way to my friends with a light skip in my step as I whipped my trickling, dribbly sweat from my face. Both of their faces were stained red and their mouths hung open in a desperate attempt to gobble up as much oxygen as their lungs could carry. I placed a gentle hand on Josie's back, tilting my head upwards to capture her eyes.

"Hello you, gentle with the breathing yea? The air isn't going anywhere anytime soon, the air lords told me so!' I told her softly with a peppy nervousness as her breathing hiccupped and stuttered in rapid bursts.

"I-I…"

"It's alright, deep and slow." I took her hand in mine, giving it a tight squeeze as my eyes were gentle and wide. "Hey you," I breathed, my peppiness diluted with anxiousness at her breathing. "It's all over, running time is finished and your feet can take a wee nap – a footsie nap." Her parted, wet lips twitched into a smile.

"A footsie nap?" She asked lightly.

"You bet ya!" I replied and turned to Otto who was now sprawled across the floor with his eyes gazing at the ceiling – glazed with exhaustion. Giving Josie's hand one final squeeze, I swiftly deflated to my knees, curling them up to my chest as I balanced on my toes.

"Running make you do a collapsie?' I popped, tapping his nose that glistened with sweat.

"Who me?" He breathed with a comical shock as he placed his hand on his chest. "Oh no, this…this is just me giving everyone else in the class a chance to recover. Me…I'm…I'm fine." Looking up at my amused gleefulness, he turned to sit on his knees. "I'm dandy."

Tilting my head to the side as I opened my mouth with a smile, "would you like hand up solider?"

"Yes please." The quickness in his response made my heart bounce as I popped up to a standing position and held both of my hands towards him. Grasping mine, he tugged on them as I leaned back to help pull him back. But with his weight against my own, I took a few clumsy steps forward and bumped into his chest as he rose.

"Ooop!" The noise slipped ungracefully from my mouth at my stumble. "There you are," I continued after releasing his hands and straightening myself. "Guess it's volleyball time, I suppose now it's time for you to see one of my many weaknesses." A pink tinge of embarrassment flushed my cheeks.

"Volleyball huh? But it's just hitting a ball short." Otto ruffled my hair as he spoke, gesturing towards the nets with his chin.

"That may be but…it's an evil ball you see. With a crafty little mind of its own!" I protested, narrowing my eyes at the courts that waited my presence.

Otto released a small puff of laughter, "now, now Willa no need to be childish. The ball is your friend and it hits you then…it just wants to give you a hug…of sorts." I quirked my eyebrow at his stuttered and forced response before shaking my head with dismissal.

"There's no point being grown-up," I placed both of my hands gentle on his shoulder as I continued with foolish eyes, "if you can't be childish sometimes – The Forth Doctor." I believed every word that had trickled out of my mouth, down to the last speck that created my existence. For my whole life…I had been brought up around the children in schools, in slums in India and it was through seeing them, falling victim to their youthful charm and magnetic happiness and appreciation for life that I…admired them, envied them and loved them. Each time I looked into their eyes, I found this glistening innocence and wonder, this thirst for discovery and love, for beauty. And I knew then that I could never let go of my child-like nature – of that wild innocence…

At the sound of the second whistle, I jumped in surprise as I jolted out of my memories and rejoined the present. We were split into groups based on gender – the girls playing volleyball and the boys basketball. Both Josie and I waved goodbye to a reluctant Otto and made our way to our side of the gym. Luckily, Josie and I were on the same team but the longer we stood and waited for the game to commence, the redder my cheeks became with fearful embarrassment.

I bent my knees slightly as the opposing team eyed us up and down. Placing my hands in a flimsy attempt at the correct hold, I took a deep breath, trying to calm my hiccupping heart and clotted throat.

The ball flew over the net in one swift motion and the game commenced. My first hit was adequate to my surprise and a small surprised smile tugged my lips upwards with a hint of smugness. Looking to the right, I watched as Josie spiked it over the net. One point to us. I was just about to congratulate her when the game suddenly started once more, and I felt oddly like squirrel amongst lions.

Seeing the ball coming my way, I felt my heart clench as I bit my lip with determination, narrowed my eyes and hit the ball with all my might…only to hit it straight over my head and into the wall behind us. With its almighty slam into the wall breaking the stunned silence of the other players, I pressed the tips of my fingers to my lips as I spun around to look at the ball behind me…cringing at the fallen cones that it had hit. Slowly turning back towards the opposing team, my eyes twitched as I saw other's trying to stifle their chuckles. Straightening up, I turned back around and walked to pick up the fallen ball.

"I…" I picked up the ball lightly with the tips of my fingers, twirling with hesitance I looked at my teammates and opponents. "I suppose an oopsie is in order." I said shyly as I handled the ball like a fragile object. "Oopsie." I said with an embarrassed smile, my right shoulder lifting upwards as my cheek kissed my raised shoulder. "Well…I suppose this is yours yea?" I tried to hide my embarrassment, but by hesitant and delicate nature of my words I knew I was failing in my endeavor. Walking towards the net, I bent down and crossed under the frayed white material to the other side. Approaching the closest girl to me, I outstretched the ball with a cautious smile.

Looking me up and down with smirking eyes, she snatched the ball away with a force that made my fingers tremble.

"Nice moves Fawn, although maybe next time you should stick to fetching the balls or us instead of hitting them." She sneered with an arrogance that made my skin tighten and veins sharpen.

I frowned slightly, wrapping my arms around myself as she towered over me. Looking at my feet I said quietly, "thank you for that eloquent and comforting sentiment." Sarcasm lightly pinched my gentle words. "But…" I looked up with wide innocent eyes that were deceptively harden underneath the surface. "I suppose if that's the price for making a mistake then maybe you'd be better suited for that job…since you missed a shot early but hey, let's call it square and dandy and simply play." I finished with the friendliest of smiles I could conjure before sucking in my bottom lip and twirling around to go to my side of the court.

"So," said the most skilled player on my team – giving me a look of approval before saying, "shall we play?"

After experiencing a few more fumbles, our team was deemed the victor. I smiled joyfully as I leaped into Josie's arms at her winning shot. Wrapping my legs around her waist as I squeezed my pride into her, I then plopped back to the ground and fetched my water bottle from the bleachers whilst the girls were dismissed and the boys finished their game. Sipping from my bottle, my eyes slid over to where Otto was playing. He was sweating, panting heavily as he dribbled and weaved clumsily between the players. Swallowing the water deeply, I snapped the lid shut and was just about to turn towards the changing rooms when my eyes pulled themselves towards a certain fella.

He hadn't broken a single bead of sweat. He looked calm and composed – tense and controlled as his honey locks fell over his marble-like skin. His cheeks didn't have a single pink flush of tiredness and I couldn't help but scrunch up my lips in annoyance. Tilting my head to the side, his eyes, with a smooth laziness, suddenly shifted to look into mine. Relaxing my face, I could feel his eyes pulse inside my very own, feel foreign thoughts of attraction manipulate my heartbeat and…

No. With one sharp movement I snapped my head away. No, I…I had to stop this. These feelings this…silly attraction…a person was not defined by their appearance and I wouldn't…couldn't let some handsome stranger flutter my heart. Heart – a person was defined by just that and so far, I had not heard anything regarding his. These feelings were wrong, unwanted and I knew then what I wanted to do.

Tonight.

I hadn't been free since India…at peace…but tonight that would change…tonight, I would lose myself to solace's lullaby.

* * *

It was midnight when I left – when I escaped the naked white walls of my room to dance underneath the labyrinth of constellations above. My violin case was draped over my shoulder as I climbed out of the window and down the edge of the house – the rain covering any whisper of a noise that I made. Landing softly on the grass with an echoing thumb, I swiftly got on my memory strained bicycle and rode off into the night. The rain smothered my face as I rode, soaked through my clothes and drenched my hair as the sleeping houses became a blur to my vision. I didn't not stop once as I spend towards my desire, as I flicked my eyes to the stars to let their ghost light guide me.

The second my eyes captured the forest, I felt a twinge of happiness, and magnetic need and near ecstasy as I approached its mysterious embrace. Skidding to a clumsy stop, I got off my bike and broke out into a wild and untamed run. My feet were light and agile as I went, as the lighting illuminated my path and shattered any cage, and boundary that had held my heart and soul during the hours of the day. My mouth parted in a blissful grin as the string, that tether that kept me composed, constrained snapped with a sharp jolt and I…Seeing a large long, I increased my speed as I leapt over it, giggling to myself as I slipped on the muddy surface and collided with the raw crust of this enigma-like planet. I rolled to my side, unafraid of the dirt, of the twigs that clung and tore at my clothing as I got back to my feet and recommenced my run.

I came to an abrupt stop when I reached the bottom of the waterfall – my chest rising and falling heavily with each intake of breath. The waterfall was an enchanting mistress of the night, and I couldn't help but be intoxicated by her sent and taste, her being. Slipping my violin case off my shoulders, I approached the edge of the waterfall; the rain so soft now that's it's presence was only visible through the tiny ripples in the shallows of the water. Bending down in a cluster of leaves, I removed my fraying converse and socks – tilting my head backwards in pleasure at the feeling of the soil, the grass and the leaves against my bare and vulnerable flesh. Pealing of my blue parka, I was left in a delicate cream dress.

I inhaled another deep breath of the wet, fresh air as I looked up at the stars with large eyes, with eyes that prickled with a wetness of their own. I had always liked to think that whilst I looked up at the stars that…that they looked back down at me. That all the people who I had loved, who had died…that they now shinned in skies with their gleaming armor as they watched over us, protect us. I made a slow twirl, my eyes no moving from one particular star in the sky. Although it may look the same to the others, I was drawn to it. The way it shinned…the way it looked at me, into me.

I licked away the cool shell that had formed over my lips and whispered, "hello mama." I squeezed my eyes tightly before continuing on, feeling her love, her memories soak into my core. "I ah," I felt my heart hiccup and the tip of my nose burn. "I…I had m-my fi-first day of school today." I told her softly as I tried to swallow that threatening lump in my throat. My eyes prickled with a salty wetness and I closed them, blinked and blinked to hold them back but…each time I closed my eyes, memories of her, her face, her warmth…sainted the backs of my eyelids. "I…" a sob clots in my throat. "I miss you Mama." I sucked in my lips as I tried to hold my breath; hold back the tears that I never allowed anyone to see. But when the lack of breath became too much to bare, I released a raw sob. "I miss you so much Mama," My voice fractured as I spoke to that one star, as I hoped and wished that she was looking back at me, feeling the love that I had – have for her. "I…" I whipped my nose with the back of my hand.

"I…I love you." I said in the tiniest of whispers, a whisper meant for the dead. Taking a deep breath, I swallowed back my tears and forced a smile. She was in a better place, a place without pain, without suffering and fear…so…I couldn't let her see mine. "This one is for you mama, just like old times except now…now you are watching from a different angle."

Flicking my gaze to the ground, I picked up my violin and bow and stepped into the shallow water. I waded out a little further before placing my violin on the curve of my neck. Not wasting another moment, I drew the bow across the strings and a new melody was born into the night. My fingers moved with agility and precision as the music poured out into the waterfall. I could feel all of my hidden emotions leak out onto the strings and fly into the sky, swim into the water and climb up the trees. This music consumed me, enslaved me and raptured me. I could feel my body move to the music effortlessly, my legs wrapped around my body as I spun, spun and spun. Water splashed around me as I turned, walked and leapt through it. Every worry, every fear had taken flight and I…I was left in solace.

As I went on point, I outstretched my leg behind me and spun slowly as my toes sunk into the sand. My body twisted this way and that as I performed a gentle yet passionate dance to accompany my piece. I could feel my hair getting wetter from the splashes and the rain strengthen in its fall. But I didn't stop. I needed a release, an escape. I wanted to feel bliss, to envelope myself in ecstasy – to make my mama proud, my mama happy. This feeling of bliss, of capturing solace finally claimed me as I reached the crescendo of the piece. I placed everything I had into the music, into the dance. I poured my soul, my entire being onto the strings as I played – as I played solace's lullaby.

* * *

I was only halfway back to my fallen bicycle when a sharp venom burst within my blood as my tranquility burned to ash. I paused midstride in the forest; the crunch of my final footstep an echo within the silent labyrinth. With my eyes fixed on that sight I…feeling the churn within me I dropped to my knees as my dinner slipped out of me in violent retches. My throat stung, burned as I vomited and trembled in the now haunted forest. Whipping my mouth with a shaky hand, I sat up – craning my neck to the right to see the bloody mess that tainted the soil and leaves. Before me was something that haunted my nights – a dead animal.

I moved closer to the deer's paralyzed form. It was covered it blood, dry crusted blood that had once dribbled and gushed from the half-moon shaped bites that now painted it. I could feel my heart stutter, quiver as a wetness prickled my eyes. I couldn't breathe…I…my body shook, trembled as it starved from the lack of oxygen – from fear and horror. It was a fawn…just a baby fawn and I…Taking in a sour and callous breath I let out a raw and unpleasant sob. What type of creature, no, monster could have done this? Could have slaughtered, mauled such an innocent and exquisite animal? My fingers traced the shapes of the bites. They were like nothing I had ever seen before and I suddenly felt the hairs prickle on the back of my neck – the crunching of twigs and rustling of leaves becoming threatening.

I couldn't leave the fawn here.

Taking off my parka, I rolled my shoulders back and began to dig with my hands. Digging through the dirt I felt it creep its way underneath my nails as I hurriedly went, burring itself before breaking my nails and staining my skin. But I didn't stop. Tears continues to fall from my stinging eyes, the bite was something I had never seen before. It seemed so precise, too neat and careful.

Once I finished digging, I whipped the sweat from my forehead before gently lifting the fawn into my arms, cradling it's fragile and broken form. Placing a single kiss on its nose, my lips lingered against its fur as I squeezed my eyes – my pain and horror threaten to overspill.

"Hush now, it's alright." I whispered gently as I placed the fawn in the small pit I had dug. "You're at peace now, nothing can hurt you." I pulled my arms out from underneath it. "You're safe." And with that, I covered the dawn with dirt and then picked some flowers to place on its small grave as I sung a lullaby. It was a lullaby my mama used to sing me. The song was a promise – a promise of no more fear, of eternal joy – of love.

* * *

Dropping my bike into a cluster of leaves, I approached the tree outside my bedroom window. Every time I blinked, every time I breathed…I could still see the fawn, what that monster had done to it. I could feel my insides churn – the pain that seeing that deer made me feel, strangled my veins. But I couldn't let myself be consumed in darkness. I had found solace tonight, I played music for the stars and the fawn was now in a better place – I had to believe that. Taking in a deep breath of air, I savored its taste before I wrapped my fingers around a branch and began to climb. I felt my foot slip and I couldn't hold back the small yelp that escape my mouth as I clung to the tree. I quickly found my footing and continued to climb the tree.

When I reached my window, I placed one had on the windowsill and the other on a branch as I hoisted myself up. With my feet now resting on two branches, I pulled myself up higher before opening the window and tumbling inside. My attempt to do this gracefully was ruined the second I placed my leg on the windowsill. I squeezed my eyes shut as I fell straight onto my bed, releasing a small scream that was muffled by the duvet.

"I didn't realize the front door was broken. Where were you?" At the sound of my little cousin's voice I rolled off my bed and tried to compose myself.

"Seeing…" My eyes sparked, "wonders." I twirled before meeting her not amused eyes. I bit my lip as I approached her, taking her hand in mine before leading her to the window. "Aren't they wonderful?" I asked Bella as I looked up to the stars, to the dead who watched over us.

"Yea," she replied unconvincingly as she nodded. "But hey, Willa, you're not in India anymore." Her worlds forced my eyes to flick to hers as my heart dropped a little more. "You can't just run off at night." I frowned at her words, scrunching up my nose in confusion.

With my index finger, I tapped her little nose gently before making my way to my wardrobe. "But that's the only time I can, Bells." I told her softly with a smile. Turning around on the balls of my feet, I looked up at my little cousin – trying to show what I felt, what I saw through my eyes. "The world is full of wonders Bella, the night it…it sings to me like some magnetic force yearning to be discovered." I told her truthfully with wide innocent eyes. "Night was when my mama and I used to talk, used to discover and lay underneath the stars as we made up names for the constellations. It's magical and no matter where I go, I won't be able to resist that pull." The smile that I held was distant, lost to remembrance as I spoke. "But you didn't come in here to ask if little ol'Willa was alright, so what's wrong?" I asked in the softest of manners, giving her all my attention.

"Do…do I smell?" My eyes widened at her question and I couldn't help but release a small puff of surprise.

"Why would you ask such a silly thing?" I wondered aloud, puzzled by her sudden question. I gestured for her to take a seat on my bed whilst I decided to change into my pajamas. Turning my back to her, I listened intently to her words.

"Well, you know Edward Cullen?" She asked and I turned to face her after pulling on my Ballet Pajama top. I titled my head to the side as I recalled the specific boy she was talking about.

My cheeks prickled a pastel pink, "The boy wh-who couldn't keep his eyes of you?" I asked lightly, releasing a small melody of giggles as her jaw set into a straight line. "The boy who made you blush dur-" My words were cut off when she threw a pillow at me. I laugh, catching it and threw it right back at her.

"I did not blush." She said firmly yet the smile on her face confessed her lie. I quirked an eyebrow and she chucked the pillow right back at me, hitting me in the head.

"So are you going to tell me little Bells, or will we just keep on having this pillow fight?" I asked and continued to change into my matching pajama shorts.

"Well in biology I think he smelt me and was repulsed, or something." My eyes widened in surprise and my eyebrows furrowed. I then came to sit beside her. I leaned in and smelt her before pulling back.

Shaking my head, I said, "nope, you're fine." I told her with a pop.

"Okay well let's say for argument sake that I did smell in biology, would you want to change class because of it?" I shook my head instantly and took her hands in my own.

"Off course, not." I told her. "And you do not smell. You have nothing to worry about. Edward must have had a cold? His brother did in History s-so maybe the c-cold decided to pay him a little 'hello' too." I told her lightly but from her expression I could tell she didn't appreciate my answer. I hummed as I thought before saying, "maybe he's just a little," I paused.

"A little what?" She asked bluntly and I sighed.

"Different." I said slowly. "I mean everyone is different but his kind of different might be…"

"Strange, weird." She stated. "Something doesn't seem…normal with him, with his family."

"I suppose." I told her and fiddled with the lace of my pyjama shorts. "But then again, w-what is normal?"

"Not them." I shook my head lightly at this, a little put out by her sudden conclusions.

With a sigh, I patted the bed, "come on you, you can sleep with me tonight." I told her gently and pealed back the covers so we could both slip in.

Once underneath them, she placed her hand against mine and laughed when she saw how much bigger hers was. "I love you, Willa."

My features softened at her words and I folded my fingers between hers. "I love you too Bells, forever-"

"And always," Bells finished before we both closed our eyes and tumbled – tumbled into our dreams.

* * *

 **Authors Note: Hi everyone! If you've made it this far then I really hope that you are enjoying this. If there are any questions that you have, comments or suggestions then please let me know. Reading your reviews...they are truly a light in darkness for me. Until next time, may you all know that no matter what you are not alone, and that in the darkness there are always lights, always hope and beautiful wonders.**

 **GawkyTC: Hi you! I just wanted to say a huge thank you to you for your reviews. In all truth, when I posted this I didn't think anyone would like yet alone read this. And when I read how you think of my writing and Willa...you lit up my day and heart! You're reviews have truly given me the inspiration to keep sharing and I just wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart for that. You are so sweet, and I truly hope the world knows that.**

 **AmberinAshes: Hi! I just wanted to thank you so much for your review! It was so sweet of you! I was so nervous about what others make think of Willa but what you've said has really sparked something in me. Thank you so much and I truly hope you are well :)**

 **musicluver246: Hi! Thank you, that's so sweet of you :) Being a lover of music, I adore your username. I hope you are well :)**

 **Starlight: Thank you so much starlight! You really are a true shinning star! I always look forward to reading your little reviews so and I hope that you like this chapter and are well and happy :)**

 **EmilFloreau16: Hiya :) Thank you so much for your kind and beautiful words. I've been so nervous about sharing this and doubting everything I have written...but after reading your review you gave me a burst of light and confidence. I'm so happy you like Willa, and I hope you maybe liked seeing more of her and finding out about who she is. I hope you are enjoying this and if there are any suggestions, comments or questions then please don't hesitate. Thank you again for what you said, it truly means so much to me. I hope you are doing well and that you are happy :)**

 **Mystic Em: Hi you! I just wanted to say a big big thank you to you for your beautiful words. When I read them, I couldn't stop smiling! I even made a few excited noises! It makes me so so happy that you like my writing style and Willa! Words can't even begin to express how much so. Oooh jeepers thats a wonderful question! For Willa, I suppose my inspiration for her came from a mixture of things.** **I absolutely adore Padme from Star Wars but all together I suppose my inspiration came from Padme, a little bit of Daisy's innocence from the Great Gatsby, some of Lou's quirks from Me Before You and my own imagination! Oh I feel like that may have been a clumsy answer but I hope it is alright! Thank you so much for your beautiful words again and if there is any other questions or anything then please don't hesitate! Thank you once again, and I truly hope the world knows how sweet, kind and wonderful you are!**

 **DarkAngel2581: I know you wrote your review for the first chapter but in case you are still reading I just wanted to say thank you. That was so kind of you to say and I truly hope you are well and happy :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**~ Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight and no copyright infringement is intended ~**

 **Authors Note: Hello everyone! I just wanted to thank everyone who reviewed, favorited and followed! It means the absolute world to me. You all make my day, inspire me to write and give me a confidence that I never thought I could have. You are all such amazing people and I truly hope that this story gives you all something too look forward too, a little piece of happiness! Anyhoo, I hope ya'll like it and I'll leave another little note and review responses at the end! Happy Reading!**

It was a Tuesday morning when I fulfilled my promise, my promise to never ride within Bella's rustically withered truck again. With my back pressed against the cool metal, I lay looking up at the weeping sky – each droplet a single note within an ancient lullaby. As the melody of water tumbled from the sky, as it's gentle touch kissed my skin…I couldn't help but sing. A song that my father had once enchanted my mother with, a song that my mama had…that we had once danced to escaped my lips. The Ukrainian words sounded sweet and airy on my tongue as they swam within the breeze. An untamed smile waltzed across my lips as I sung, as I stretched my hands up towards the sky – my fingers moving as my wrists twirled to the rhythm. I could feel my pulse push against my veins, my blood sparkle and bones humming as the music took me, claimed me heart, body, soul and mind. I was a slave to it…to the world of wild creativity ever since I took my first breath. Parting my wet lips, I stuck out my tongue and savoured the taste of raw water.

Suddenly seeing the school buildings approach, I could feel my heart harden with a metallic weight. I could feel a cage – a prison of brick and marble curl within me as I closed my eyes with a laziness that mirrored the rain fall. Nervousness pinch my skin – another day.

I did not sit up when the truck stopped, nor did I when Bella dropped my bag onto my stomach with a clean, heavy thumb. Opening my eyes, I tiled my head to side as I looked up at my little cousin who peered down at me with bewilderment. I smiled at her puzzlement and blinked away the water droplets that clung to my eyelashes. I was not sure how Bella managed it – to conceal herself inside that metal box.

"Hello you," I said lightly. "I missed you." Placing my hand on the patch of cool metal next to me, I tapped it in an encouraging and welcoming gesture. "Would-would you like to join me?"

Bella shook her head with an awkward grimace.

"Do not be angry with the rain; it simply does not know how to fall upwards." I told her gently, outstretching my hand to watch the sky's tears snake around my fingers. "Vladimir Nabokov." Flicking my eyes back to my cousin, I narrowed them as I noticed her shivering form – her arms woven tightly around her. "Here." I sat up on my knees and took off my white parka before handing it to her. She shook her head at my offer.

"No, Willa I-I I'm fine." I bit my lip in confusion as she tried to stop her shaking. Shuffling towards the edge of the truck, my knees skimmed the surface of metal that separate my cousin and I. I pressed a finger underneath her chin, applying the slightest of pressures to tilt her head upwards.

"Sweetheart I…you need it more than I." I tapped her nose lightly before handing her my parka once more. Reluctantly, she lifted it from my hand with a roll of her eyes and put it on.

I leaned over the side of the truck and placed the hood over her head to keep her warm. "There!" I said happily as her shaking can to an end. "The perfect image of beautiful and radiant warmth." A timid smile tugged her lips upwards as her cheeks pricked with an embarrassed pink. I leaned in a little closer, widening my eyes with concern at the puffiness of hers. "Are-are you alright Bells? I wondered aloud with fragility. "Y-you've got a case of the pu-puffy eyes."

Her embarrassed pink cheeks flushed red as she adverted her gaze to the floor. "Yea um…I couldn't sleep with the wind echoing around the house." I frowned. Frowned because the wind had the opposite effect on me, because of my inability to understand. Standing up, I leapt over the side of the truck, landing on the wet gravel with a small plop.

Placing my hand on her cheek, I caressed her cold skin and I tried to will my warmth into her. "M-maybe you could sleep through trigonometry?" I suggested with a childish smile. "It's a silly subject any-anyways and…ooh! The text book is even big enough to act as a pillow." I told her encouragingly as I let my hand fall to my side.

"Willa!" The sound of my name cracking the wind caused my heart to thump an ungraceful surprised beat. I spun around on the balls of my feet, my hair tumbling around me at my sudden movement. Seeing Josie and Otto nestled within a rather large silver car with its doors open, I went up on my tiptoes and waved at their cheerful faces.

Feeling a warm breath on the tip of my ear, Bella said "You should go join them." The smile from my face faded as I turned towards her with a complete look of appal.

"Bella, I…" I took both of her hands in mine, applying the lightest of pressures as my eyebrows knited together with surprise. "Sweetheart, Bells, you're… my cousin and I would never leave you to be with my friends. You…you always come first, always." I tapped her cold blushing nose which scrunched up at my touch before she pulled away. Taking her hands out of mine, she took a single step back and gestured over my shoulder with her head.

"Go." She stated simply. I licked the cold shell away from my lips before parting them to argue but, "Go." She quickly said, crossing her arms as she towered over me. "Now."

"Bu-" She gave me a playful shove towards my friends, an 'oooop' noise escaping my lips in surprise at her force. Yet as I looked at my cousin, at her need for independence…I, despite my feelings of guilt and selfishness, began to walk away from her. As I came closer to my friends, I peeked behind me and felt my veins knot. She was all by herself, standing lonesome with her back leaning against the truck and her nose nestled in a book. I paused in my stride, unable to move until I saw her friends approach her. She seemed happy with them, yet her timid and awkward nature remained.

Turning back towards my friends, I pushed back my prickling worry and guilt with a quick shoulder shake. She had her friends, she is alright – everything is alright. With a wide teethie smile, my tongue poked through them at my friends as I skipped towards them – my pink ballet slippers wet as they swam through scattered puddles. Leaping over a small line of hedges that separate us, I gracefully stopped in front of their vehicle and straightened out my paste pink skirt.

"Hello you two!" I chirped, waddling forward like penguin to nestle my feet within a small rippling puddle.

"Hey Willa, what's, what?" Otto asked, shifting in his seat to meet my eyes. His hair was wet – shaggy as it tumbled over his eyes in lazy waves. "How was your first night? Have any good dreams? About anyone in particular, any –" Josie pinched his arm from the driver's seat just as my tooth bit down on my lip to stifle a note of laughter.

"I…" Memories of the night, of the fawn…they blanketed my mind as my breath thickened and quivered with a fearful nervous itch. Blinking quickly, I pushed back my remembrance and forced a naïve innocence to glaze over my eyes. "They were magical, thank you truly." I told him with a childish happiness that I willed to caress my heart and sweeten my oxygen. But each time I blinked…she was there, that baby fawn…those bites. I blinked faster, trying to blur those images as I sucked in my bottom lip. She was safe, she was alright and wherever she was…I…I knew in my heart that she was safe, safe from pain and fear, just like my mama. I could feel my grief suddenly creep up on me for my mother, for my father and Fitz. Grief. It is a strange and slippery thing. For, no matter how much I thought I could control it, hide it…it always had a way to sneak back into me like some grey, suffocating mist.

Seeing my friends furrow their eyebrows at my sudden distant silence, I flicked my eyes to see the open textbooks in their laps.

"Jeepers!" I exclaimed with genuine shock. "It's only eight and you are already stuck into Calculus homework! Mind if I borrow your brain? I may need it if I am to pass my exams." I admitted sheepishly and leaned forward to look at the foreign and unreadable language that is mathematics.

"You're going to cut out her brain?" Otto said in fear, and by the look Josie gave him I knew he was serious. I wove my arms around me as we both waited for Otto to release what he had said. "Oh god." His features pulled into an endearing grimace. "Forget I said that, Please?"

"Don't worry Otto," I popped, and leaned forward to place a gentle hand on his knee, "It's wiped from our memories."

"W-well actually that's n-not possible. You s-see, studies have been done which show nothing can be wiped' fr-from you're brain. Even t-though you don't remember something those memories a-are still there but just h-hidden from your con-conscious mind." Whilst Otto started blankly at Josie, I stared in surprise – in wonder of how such a beautiful and magnificent brain could hold so much knowledge.

I saw Otto swallow deeply from the corner of my eye. "You-you mean everything?" He asked sheepishly as he filtered through his past memories.

Josie smiled back at him innocently. "Yep, E-every dandy memory."

"How…how did you know all of that?" I pondered allowed in complete captivation, my question causing Josie's cheeks to blush pink.

"A-a t-thirst for know-knowledge and n-not having friends h-helps." She said timidly as her eyes adverted down towards her knees. I felt my muscles loosen a whimper at her confession, but Otto was quick to comfort her. Placing a finger underneath her chin, he made her look into those two large of his – his goofy nature but a ghost.

"Hey, you will always have me. Always."

I couldn't help but look away at their intimate moment – at a moment that reminded me of Fitz and I. It didn't take me long for my eyes to capture my little cousin. She was near her friends, yet her mind was elsewhere. Narrowing my own, I took a shy step towards her – the tips of my shoes kissing the outer rim of the puddle. Her gaze was strong and focused as it locked onto an empty parking space where she waited for silver Volvo to appear. I knew she wanted to comfort him, but a part of me was somewhat relieved that Edward had not showed. After seeing the affect, he had of my cousin, after seeing her frustration at his difference – I was afraid that a confrontation may hurt them both. And with Bells being in the angry state she was, perhaps his absence could allow her to find tranquillity, to find clarity.

* * *

"Jeepers, that was boring." I exhaled as Josie, Otto and I walked out of Physics. The hallways were already filled with people, the monotone buzz of several conversations humming through the hallways. I clutched my book against my chest as the three of us made our way to English.

"Yep," Otto nodded enthusiastically, "yet the more I think about it, I don't think boring even covers what we just experienced." A puff of laugher bubbled out of my throat as he stuck out his tongue and mushed up his features.

"I'm afraid no word could." I admitted so softly that Otto had to bend down to hear my confession. I bit my lip in an attempt to withhold my frustration. "I…I mean we-we were in there for less than a minute before little z's started popping out of my head!" I raised my dancing fingers above my head as I demonstrated an animated sleeping character. "Like in the cartoons!"

"Exactly!" Josie exclaimed, hugging her books closer to her chest. "I-I mean I'm a science nerd and all, but that lesson was the boringest of boring. An insult to all physics lessons." She continued as we walked up the narrow staircase – our steps echoing as we bustled through the crowds.

"Wow there, Josie." I heard from behind me as I climbed one step at a time. "No need to get all worked up." His voice was soft, yet held a humorous element to each thread that laced his words. "Though I'm sure the Physics lords appreciate you defending them."

I couldn't help but laugh as they talked, as Josie complained about the class and Otto's attempts to calm her. The further I walked up the stairs, the softer their voices drifted. Once I reached the top of the stairs, I craned my neck over my shoulder to see Josie and Otto standing on the stairs in each other's arms – Otto with his head on Josie's as he talked to her. I couldn't help but smile at the sight, smile at their happiness – at their rare friendship that mirrored what I once had.

I could suddenly feel a horrid feeling, a feeling that cut into my heart with a vicious, twisted knife – jealously. I quickly shook my head, wanting to be free of its wicked presence. I quickly turned on my heels, making my way through the crowds, through the laughter and chatter until a shoulder suddenly knocked me into the side of the stair railing. My fingers curled around the metal as I gathered myself, coiled into myself so I wouldn't be a bother for people to pass. I could feel my breathing steady as my eyes flicked down to the floor below. There was a mixture of students – happy, stressed, frustrated, they were all there as they moved to their next class.

It was when I decided to continue making my way to English when I captured sight of my tutor below.

Although he was conversing lightly with his brother, Emmett, his back remained as straight as that of a ballet dancer. His hands were knotted behind his back; a calm expression moulding the features. Suddenly, as if he could hear my breathing, his eyes looked up through his eyelashes and captured mine. His eyes were dark as I stared at them – into him as he stared into me. I felt my body go tight, as if his eyes were wriggling within me, manipulating my very emotions. I felt my lips part as my veins burned, as they blushed in a forbidden way – a way that sparked guilt that ignited fear. My breath quivered as I looked into him, as I saw his pain – his lack of freedom, his desire to be…to be wild. I could see them so clearly in his eyes, and the longer I looked, the more I… understood him.

It was only when he inclined his head in acknowledgment that I broke free of his gaze, gasped with guilt and hid behind the wall. I felt my heart hammer, hammer so hard against its cage of bone and cartilage that I pressed a hand to it. I pressed my back against the wall, willing myself into the shadows as I closed my eyes. Hush now, I told myself, hush now. I wanted this feeling of attraction to go, to throw them into a universe that was not my own. My whole life I had never felt this way, not once, and I didn't like it. It felt dangerous, felt forbidden and complicated and I didn't want it. I couldn't understand why his appearance magnetised me so, why I could see into him. It was wrong – so, so wrong. I couldn't let a person I barely knew affect me in such a way, I couldn't.

So, I took in a deep breath, smiled at my friends as they approached me and filled my day with distractions.

* * *

I straightened out the creases in my shorts and traced the lines on the palm of my hand as I sat on the bleachers – awaiting our instructions from our coach. Bending over between the seats, I pulled up my lace-trimmed socks as my friends conversed beside me. It was our final class on Wednesday as a lazy hue drifted from the students. It had not stopped raining all day, and I couldn't help but tilt my neck back to look towards the ceiling, to where the rain fell behind it. I could feel my bones sing for its touch, my nose tingle in yearning for its smell. A gruff clearing of the coach's throat snapped my thoughts in two as my concentration shifted towards the lesson.

"Alright everyone, listen up. As I'm sure you all know, this year we are holding a special promenade, or as you refer to it, prom, dance for the senior students. Unlike previous years, you will be excepted to participate in a father-daughter, mother-son dance as well as waltz with your selected partners. Now, we were originally going to do the dance unit closer to the time, but…with complications in booking the pool for the swimming unit we've decided to switch them." My lips twitched with excitement at this revelation. I was a born dancer – my body and soul willing slaves to the music and art form ever since I was a child. I sucked in my bottom lip in a feeble attempt to contain my excitement. Feeling my blood bubble and sparkle, my legs did a quick jiggle of glee as I released a tiny, peppy "Eeee!"

"Okay, listen up everyone for your name. Despite having the partner of your choice for the prom, in class I will assign you to another student." Coach Clapp looked to his clipboard and began to list the names off in a sluggish manner. The impatient humming of students filled the room as both their excitement or disappointment broke the caged air of the gym. Coiling my fingers around the edge of my seat, I looked around with wide eyes in gleeful anticipation. With Otto and Josie paired with strangers, I bit my lip in curiosity at who my partner would be.

"Willa Fawn," my breath hitched at the sound of my name. "You'll be paired with Jasper Hale." My breath clotted in my throat at the sound of his name – sticky and heavy as I tried to swallow it. With a skittish smile, I rose to my feet and padded my way down the bleachers – jumping the last step with a gentle plop. I didn't look behind me as I walked to a free place in the gym where we would waltz - I couldn't. His steps where silent behind mine, but I could feel his electric presence. Stopping in place, I met his eyes in a timid manner as he stood next to me – his poised structured frame towering over mine as he dominated our space. Flicking my eyes away, we did not speak a word as we waited for our next instructions. With my eyes to the floor, I involuntarily scrunched up my lips at the sight of how large his feet were in comparison to mine – for mine were nearly half the size of his.

Forgetting all polite and acceptable social practices, I shuffled towards him and placed my foot next to his – my face reflecting my bewilderment and wonder without dilution. I was just about to bend down and measure the difference with my fingers when suddenly the coach's booming voice snapped my curious trance.

With sudden embarrassment staining my cheeks, I quickly shuffled away from him and peeped up to look at his puzzled face.

"I…I'm sorry." My voice was soft as it hid underneath coach Clapp's instructions. "Big feet." The words escaped me before I could withhold them and I quickly turned away to focus on the coach. My pulse pressed outwards – jerking the veins within.

"Now since you are all in pairs, today's class will be about assessing what you are already capable of. When I play the music, I want you and your partner to dance together…feel the music rather than just listen to it and then we will go from there." Hearing this, I felt my heart slow as a more professional and artistic mind-set caressed my body. He was just a boy – a stranger and I suppose…I turned around to face him once more. Feeling his eyes on me, I gazed up at him in silence. I knew nothing about him, and since my foolish and unintelligible behaviour towards him suffocated my ability to comprehensively speak – I would discover him, break whatever this was, through dance.

Rolling my shoulders back, my back straightened as the first note of the orchestral music broke the air. Staring up at him with an unspoken intensity and promise, I took a single step towards him, his chest a few inches from my nose. My breaths were deep and warm as I felt his fingertips brush against mine. His touch was an iced feather as they guided my hand in one smooth motion to his shoulder. Tilting my neck back, my eyes bore into his – welcoming his gaze as our eyes swam in an intimate welcome. With my free hand, I hesitantly guided his with my palm to rest upon my waist – our eyes not breaking once as my hand then slipped into his gentle hold and I…after one more moment of collection, of tranquillity, control and calm I…let myself go.

It was as if I were a mere puppet, bending and wielding to his control as he guided me across the floor – our eyes trapped within a silent embrace. I felt my heart swim, dance as my feet glided and floated, as my fingers caressed and teased the hand I held. But as my heart pounded against my chest, as my blood heated and intensified, as the tempo of the music rose, I could no longer be bound to a classical waltz. Without needing to tell him, we came to a stop. Our eyes adverted to our joint hands as they slowly released – our palms hovering in front of one another as they kissed a ghost's touch. With the music weaving in-between my veins, our hands – our arms began to dance like ribbons in the wind with each other and my eyes found his once more as he guided me across the floor. Our movements were effortless, fragile as we slowly broken open – gently spilling each other's souls into our eyes as our bodies caressed and discovered one another as we danced, as we flew and soared in a world of our own.

My eyes were locked with his in a feverish intensity as we bended and wove - becoming marionettes to the music. I could feel his delicate fragility, his fiery untamed passion and almost militaristic manner. He burned within me, as our hands, our finger tips teased each other's naked and clothed flesh. I twirled, spun and spun until his hands guided me back towards him – my fingertips gentle on his shoulder as our hands danced like spiralling smoke. Captivated and entranced breathless smiles stained our lips as we gave ourselves to one another, lay each other raw and vulnerable as we moved as equals in this perfect fiery delicacy.

As the music quickened, as it shattered into a crescendo I could no longer hear…no longer see and feel anyone but him. My heart splintered as my blood thunderously sang within me, as the music and his eyes drowned me, claimed me as with one swift motion he placed his hands underneath my armpits and lift me straight above his head, my fingertips brushing the tips of his ears as he spun and spun with our eyes fixated on each other. I let my head drop backwards in defeat, my eyes mist over as the music calmed, as he twirling slowed and I…

Swallowing, my breath became shaky – trembled as he slowly brought me down. My eyes lazily flicked back to his, as I descended – my nose and eyes but a whisper away from his as he lowered me down and down, down until my feet timidly grazed the floor and the music stop – his touch suddenly a memory as we both stepped away from each other in bewildered and panicked haste.

My chin crumpled as I felt everyone's stares and I…I suddenly felt naked. Abruptly, I wrapped my arms around myself and pointedly looked away to the ground as an awkward silence coated the room.

"Right, well…" My ears flared pink with embarrassment as my nails dug into my arms. Coach Clapp continued, 'looks like we have two experts in the room. However, why ah…why not let's switch parents and ah…continue. Right, now." Neither Jasper nor I wasted a second in turning away from one another and walking to opposing ends of the room with a new partner. But as I danced a controlled, classic and somewhat clumsy waltz with Otto…my mind had been stolen by the man across the room.

* * *

It had been a single hour since P.E, since…

Siting in the library as I waited for my tutor to arrive I opened my copy of Dracula, the spine loosening a crack, and began to read in a feeble attempt to grasp distraction.

Allowing my eyes to mist over, I flicked to a random page in the book before placing my finger somewhere along its content. Opening my eyes, I read. "There are darkness's in life, and there are lights"

"And you are one of those lights." My finger shivered above the ink stained paper before my eyes flicked up to capture two golden eyes. "The light of all lights."

 **Authors Note: Hi everyone! What did ya'll think? I was super nervous about posting this chapter as it's more focused on Willa's internal emotions after the night with her music and the fawn. But the next chapter will be more light hearted and fun! I hope ya'll liked Willa and Jasper's first real interaction and are excited to see how their first tutoring lesson will go. There relationship will be a slow and intense burn at first! If ya'll have any comments, suggestions, questions or anything then please feel free to leave a review! Until next time my beautiful readers!**

 **GawkyTC: Hi you! Oh goodness thank you so so much truly for your review, for all your reviews! I can't tel you how happy they make me and how much I look forward to reading them! You are so sweet and I'll never be able to thank you enough for them! I hope you liked this chapter and getting to know more about Willa and her first proper interaction with Jasper! Thank you again once more! I'm sending you an air hug!**

 **MysticEm: Hiya! Thank you so so much for your kind review! It lit up my day! And oh goodie! That makes me so happy that you can see some of her quriks! Willa will be more quirky and open in the next chapter :) I can't say anything about which members of the Cullen family she'll be closest too but the pairing will definitely be with Jasper! I can't tell you much else without spoilers but oh if you have any more questions or suggestions then please don't hesitate! I love reading what you have to say as it inspires me in so many ways! What did you think of this chapter?! I hope you liked it, I was so nervous about posting it but oh goodness thank you once more and I hope you are well! 3**

 **Starlight: Hi Starlight! Thank you so much for your beautiful review! I'm so happy that you like her sensitive nature, and I hope you're excited to see how she develops and grows! You're a sweetheart as always!**

 **AmberinAshes: Hiya! Thank you truly for your review! I really hope you liked Willa and Jasper first proper interaction!**

 **JJ-Snape-96: Hi! Thank you so much for your review! I hope you liked this chapter and that although it is different, I hope it's a nice different :)**

 **Mrs. VampDiva Belikov: Hi! Thank you so much for your kind review! It truly brightened up my day and made it shine! I hope you liked discovering more of Willa in this chapter! Oh! and i love your name by the way, especially is the Belikov alludes to Dimitri from VA!**

 **BlackRoseBruns: Hiya! N'aww you're so sweet! I'm sure Willa would love to hug you too! I really hope you liked seeing more of her in this chapter and her and Jasper's first proper interaction! You're review truly made my day shine and I couldn't help but smile and give out a little squeal when I read it!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Authors Note: Hi everyone! I'm so sorry for my late update! Life has been rather hectic and painful recently but I haven't abandoned** **this story if ya'll would like for me to continue it. I hope you all like the update and are excited to read Willa and Jasper's first interaction! There are a lot of layers to Willa and Jaspers character so I hope this scene will be alright! I'll post a little note at the end of the chapter but until then, happy reading and know in your hearts that I will never be able to thank you all enough for reviewing, favoriting and following!**

As this enigma-like stranger whispered those finishing words – my heart stuttered in paradoxical fear and felicity. Jasper. An addictive bewilderment glazed my eyes as he took the seat opposite mine, his eyes purposefully holding mine in some ghostly dance…as if it were almost a game to see who would break first. Licking away the dry shell coating my lips, my eyes slowly seeped into his – into that golden fiery abyss that rendered my heart a naïve little fool. How could he have known those words? I swam in his eyes, dived this way and that as I searched for those inky words. _There are darkness's in life and there are lights, and you are one of those lights, the light of all lights._

"How…" I leaned forward with childish fascination – as if he were some fairytale writer that would share the secret to happy endings. "How did you know that?" Glee bit at my words as a wide and entranced smile bared my teeth. I had not met someone who could quote upon impulse like that in such a long time. Who could…my chest pressed against the wooden table as I bit my lip in anticipation.

"I ah," he paused, scratching the side of his nose and his pondered the notes of his answer. "I suppose I do a lot of reading." My smile withered slightly at the blandness of his answer. His voice was tight, strained as if it were an effort to reply. We hadn't spoken properly until this moment, and I suppose I now viewed that as both an unpleasant curse and relief. As through all the stares and unwanted heartbeats and thoughts and dances – some hope had conjured up inside me that he had the voice and vocabulary of a lyrical prince. A person that would satisfy my dreamer's pulse and make sense of these foreign emotions.

His answer had been simple – void of all my expectations yet… His words held a vague Texan twang to them, a twang that seemed purposefully restrained as if he was trying to conceal some secret. Feeling my eyes widen and an invisible detective hat and glasses dress my face, I quickly straightened my back and bit my lip as a helpless embarrassed puff of laughter broke the silence.

Shaking his head in an unreadable fashion, he bent down to retrieve his textbooks. Opening the history book – the spine loosening a stiff groan he said, "I think it might be best if we stay focused on learning history." His mouth closed in a straight firm line.

Swallowing my youthful behavior, I straightened my back and gave my best attempt to look studious. "History it is professor!" I chirped, hiding my trembling hands as they closed my copy of Dracula and retrieved my own history book, paper and pen. My fingers plucked up the blue pen – the tip kissing the blank paper and I waited for the lesson to commence.

"The two most important things to remember about Alexander's reasons for emancipating the serfs are first, his liberal education and –" As he spoke my eyes narrowed slightly at the sly twang that hide forcefully under his words.

"On my curious stars, where are you from Jasper Hale?" The words slid from me in some hypnotized and intrigued string – my eyes wide with un-checked fascination.

His eyebrows knitted together in a puzzlement that seemed almost foreign to him. I watched patiently as his mouth parted and closed – as if he wasn't sure of the right answer. His eyes slid down to his hands – solid and rough, fragile and gentle.

"I didn't have quite the same upbringing as my adopted siblings, ma'am – "

"Willa." I quickly corrected him in a gentle manner. From the shy stiffness of his words, I could tell that he wasn't used to talking to other's outside his family – that conversing with others almost seemed fearful, as if baring his vulnerability could shattering something dear within him.

"Willa." He repeated, his eyes flicking to mine in one graceful move – a motion that made me re-think my previous claim about him. I couldn't help but shake my head, shake it as his eyes wriggled inside me, caressing my bones lightly as my heart sang sweetly.

Gathering my courage, I reached forward and gave his clenched hand an encouraging squeeze – his skin tight and cold as an iced feather. "Now, now, you can't stop there after tickling my curiosity."

His militaristic manner cracked slightly as an involuntary crooked smile betrayed him. "You ask a lot of questions, Willa."

I rested my cheek on my cupped palm with intrigue. "My, my…you must be as poor at math's as I am! For I never realized two was many." My words were light and teasing as I smiled at him, my eyes lost deep within his as for once there was no escape nor excuse. He had me trapped, had my bewilderment quivering with a strange excitement. I saw the way others looked at him – those judging eyes that piercing every inch of skin that created him whole. There was a constant whispering about his appearance up and down hallways, but as I peeped into him, as he did into me – all I noticed, all I sought…was to unravel that tangled labyrinth within him.

Clearing his throat, his hands relaxed as they spread across the forgotten history pages. "Rosalie and I were born in Houston and before I…we, got adopted, we travelled. I suppose that lifestyle of constant moving maintained after being adopted." His expression became distant – serious as if some far away memory played on a screen in the corner of the room. "There isn't a single thing in this word that I have not seen." His smile was sad, broken and fragile like a twisted wing.

With hesitance, I reached out to him once more – yet this time, I was cautious and delicate. My fingertips brushed his, gently before they slowly slide over his fingers to rest in-between his knuckles. With my motions slow, I could feel the coolness of him, the raised jagged skin from violent memories that stained in the form of scars. I wanted to look at them, examine his memory painted skin but – my eyes could not leave his.

"I don't think that's true." I whispered, almost desperately as if I wanted to retrieve some hope and plant it in him. His eyes, they held such sadness, a sadness that reminded me of my own and I –

"Why's that?" He asked with genuine curiously. His hand paralyzed underneath my touch.

"Because no matter how many years an individual lives, the world is full of surprises. The older you become the harder they are to find but…but they are there. You just need to look harder." My fingertip traced tiny delicate circles in-between his knuckle, a fallen petal's kiss against the rough ground.

With his eyes peeping through his honey blond hair, I took in a deep breath and shared something I had once promised myself not to. But as I looked into Jasper, as I felt his touch and veins quiver – I knew that despite being strangers…we were similar. We knew of a pain that was reserved for the strongest, we knew divergence and we knew of isolation and what it meant to be lost.

"I know what it means to grow up in different places too. To be rootless and different and searching for some stranger to remove that protective mask that we wear and understand us. I've never known where I belong, what I'm meant for. I suppose ever since I can remember, I've always been fighting to be free, to escape from the horrors and restrictions that this world tether's us to. I know I come across as innocent – a naïve little fool and perhaps I am that but not innocent, no. I grew up in a poverty-stricken world – a world where inequality, death and violence raged through the streets and homes and skies. I've always tried to escape the atrocities I have seen, and I suppose my child-like nature…it protects me. I have had such intimacy with death, lost so many dear to me that…that I hold desperately onto my youth. I have always been sensitive and delicate inside, like a leaf against the breeze who keeps a strong exterior but on the inside, is…I know that we are only strangers and by jeepers you must think me a cuckoo for sharing so much but…when I look into your eyes…by my stars I swear I can see something in you that mirrors something in me. It does not take a wizard nor witch to tell that you are different but, I just…if I'm right, and if you may relate to some of what I am saying then…please know in your heart that if you need someone to talk to," I shrugged my shoulder upwards in a desperate gesture to seem casual, "then I'm always here. Despite how looney I must seem to you."

I wasn't sure what I expect from my small monologue, but I knew the moment I had said it…my heart became small and afraid – as if he now held its glass crust in his hands and was one movement away from shattering it. His eyes held me – held me whole as I tried to stop from trembling in front of him. I had never said what I just had to anyone, had never been so vulnerable and made myself so willingly fragile. I had always been fragile, delicate and sensitive but I never showed it, not to anyone but the stars and God's of isolation. I wanted him to say something, to say that he understood and I knew then that my monologue was not only to meant give him hope, to make him feel that he wasn't alone but, but it was also for myself. To give myself some thread of hope and understanding. I suddenly felt embarrassed, small as I looked away and moved my hand away from his. Was I so lost in myself that I had been imaging this possible connection? The air between us grew warm. Speak, please…I begged silently.

And finally, his lips parted and this sticky silence was broken. "The word is full of obvious things which nobody by any chance ever observes."

"Arthur Conan Doyle." I finished for him in an airy gasp as I tried to unravel the meaning behind that chosen quote.

The corner of his mouth twitched upwards before his controlled demeanor gathered his features and placed them in a controlled line. "I think it might be best if we stay focused on History," he paused, as if rethinking his sentence. His voice became gentler, more polite and free and secretive as his southern accent fully coated his words. "If it is alright?"

I nodded shyly, retreating inwards as my ears flared pink with embarrassment. We spent our remaining time together studying history – delving into the Russian Revolution until the sky darkened the moon slayed the sun.

As we silently packed our things away, one final questions escaped my lips.

"Would you find it intrusive of me if I were to ask you a question?" I asked. I was afraid that I had offended him early, fearful that I had burnt him in some invasive and impolite way. We had only just met yet; my mouth had run away with me - silenced my brain and let my heart control it. I shyly brushed my hair behind my ear as I waited for his response.

He seemed to ponder my proposal as he gathered his things. Standing, he shook his head as he towered over me – making me wish to sink into the ground until the earth truly enveloped me whole.

"Not at all." He replied.

Following his suit, I stood as well – my grip tightening on my books as I forced my eyes away from my shoes and up to his. He was a mountain to my single thread of grass.

"What –"my voice came out as a mere whisper. I cleared my throat to speak louder. "What fascinates you so about history?"

He took a single step closer to me, our breathes thickening in this figurative heat. I titled my head back, his height creating a shadow over mine. "I assume it is because I find it personal. We don't live in isolation from the past Willa, we are forever tethered to it." He paused, his eyes misting over as if he was recalling something. His eyes opened as his body angled to leave. "Some more than others."

* * *

"Sometimes me thinks 'what is a friend?' And then me say 'friend is someone to share the last cookie with.' 'Will you share these cookies with me Bella?" I tilted my neck back to look up into my cousin's eyes from where I sat in the trolley, my knees pulled up to my chest and a box of strawberry shortcake Oreos in my hands. It was six am when Bella and I realised we needed to gather ingredients for dinner, when we rushed out of the house with our aprons still on and flour woven into our hair.

It had been two days since Jasper and I's tutoring session, two days since he had cancelled our Friday tutoring session that if held would have just been finishing this minute. We had not spoken since that day, had not looked into each other's eyes as I attempted to hide from his bewildering presence. I still felt embarrassed, silly as I willingly avoided him and isolated myself in the wood at lunch time. I did not understand his reply to my speech, did not understand how I could have opened myself so widely and shed my painted skin that seemed brave and strong but was really just glass. I wrote to Fitz in my journal, how I wished for him to be here, how I longed for my mama and father…somewhere to belong. I knew who I was, I knew my morals and dreams and aspirations. At night, I would creep out of the house to shed that skin I wore during the day. I would play my violin and dance, dance and play until the music and art form drowned me completely and I was found once more, found by the stars, the music and dance.

Bella and I had just finished our first week of school, and as I looked up at my little cousin I couldn't have been prouder of her.

"Sometimes I really do think you are the younger one." Bella replied as she pushed the cart down the aisle. Yet just before we rounded the corner, I reached over and placed two more boxes of cookies into our cart. It was winter year, and as I always told myself…to keep warm it's alright to gain a little extra weight to ease the chill.

"Well as the forth Doctor says, 'what is the point of being grown up if you can't be childish somethings?"

Bella rolled her eyes in amusement. "Well for starters you'll be safer and there is a lot of calories in those so you should watch how many you eat."

"We only live once Bella, might as well live it in a way we like." I smiled up at her as we weaved our way through the different sections. The fresh aroma of apples and strawberries tingled my nostrils and I convinced Bella to make a quick detour to the fruit section before we paid for our purchases and drove back home.

"That was – that was nice." My cousin said contently as she pulled into our street, the mist creeping in as the moon flickered through its heavy fogginess. I smiled at her, my hand peeking out of the window to catch the droplets of rain and my knees were pulled up to my chest. "It felt normal."

"Normal?" I asked, slightly puzzled by what she meant.

"Back in Phoenix, I used to do the grocery shopping all the time so it's a familiar task." Bella stopped the truck just outside the house and fell back into her seat. She rested her hand against her forehead and gazed down at me with affection. "It's nice being just with you, just like old times."

My hand slipped back into the car and I pressed a wet fingertip to my forehead, "I," my finger moved to rest against my heart, 'love' I gently pressed my fingertip to her own forehead, 'you.' She caught my hand in hers and pressed my knuckles against her cheek.

"Me too." She whispered, just loud enough to pass over the rain. "I just – I just miss Phoenix." Her thumb ran over my knuckles and she was smiling a little, a small smile with a twist to it, just like a smile of someone who is determined not to cry.

Feeling her pain as if it was my own, I slipped my hand out of hers with a new-found determination. We both had turbulent weeks, both needed each other, needed an escape, something that broke the rules. Placing my hands on my knees I gave them a small drum with enthusiasm.

"Oki Doki, one douse of happiness it is." Bells gave me a weary look, but I gave her no time to ask questions. I quickly leapt out of the car and brought our groceries inside with a skip in my stride. I could hear the soft padding of Bella's footsteps behind me as she shuffled down the hallway. Before she found her way into the kitchen, I quickly popped open the bag of flour and scooped some up with my palm.

"Willa what are you –" The moment I saw her appear, I tossed the four straight at her. The four coated her pale skin, sticking to her loose strands of hair that fell from her messy ponytail. Her mouth parted in an air gasp and her eyes widened in shock. I took a single step backwards and smiled with mischief whilst biting my bottom lip. My hand grazed the edge of the flour bad as I watched my cousin's reaction. Anger glazed her eyes but it quickly faded to happiness as a cheeky grin twisted its way onto her lips.

I had no time to react before she snatched the flour bag out of my grasp and poured its entire contents onto my head. A gleeful scream escaped my lips and I hastily rubbed my eyes before she could pour anything else on me. My eyes burst open and I could see tiny particles of flour clinging to my eyelashes. Black and white shapes ghosted across my eyes but I could faintly see the sink. It was already filled with soapy water. With my hand, I quickly scooped up as much water as I could and splashed it into my cousin's face. She released a scream before opening the box of eggs, plucking one out and ran towards me.

I screamed happily and ran across the room, getting hit in the back with a wet, gooey substance. I skidded to a stop in the living room and fell to my knees, grabbing anything I could. A basket of freshly cleaned clothes was at my reach and in a quick motion, I gathered a handful of clothes and craned my neck over my shoulder to give Bella a playful grin mixed with giggles. One by one, I threw each item of clothing at her, giggling even harder when she freaked out at Charlie's underwear hitting her in the cheek. My chest vibrated with laugher.

Once I was out of clothing to throw, Bella picked them off the floor and chucked them back at me. I let out a scream and scrambled to the floor to hide behind the coach. As Bella threw clothes over the sofa, my fingers scuttled underneath the couch in hopes of finding something. When I felt my fingers graze something smooth, my smile widened and I pulled out an old bubble blower from when we were kids.

I placed it behind my back as I rose to my feet. Nibbling my lip, I said, "Okay, I give up. You win."

She looked at me with surprise, "really?"

"Nope!" I exclaimed and leaped over the couch to slip the contents on her. She grabbed my wrists and pried it from my grip - spilling its soapy contents on me whilst my mouth was open, and its contents flooded my mouth. I dropped to the floor, my fingers curling around the carpet as I gagged and spat out the soapy liquid. Bella, who was consumed with concern, dropped to her knees, pated my back and brushed my strands of flour, eggy and soapy hair out of my face.

I took advantage of this situation and once I finished gagging I ran my hands through my hair before placing it on her face and whipping its gooeyness all over her. She pushed me away and swivelled around to search for another weapon. With her attention no longer fixed on me, I leapt on her back, which sent us tumbling back down to ground.

We were both enveloped in a plague of giggles and mischief as we rolled around the floor trying to tickle one another. To my misfortune, Bella wasn't as ticklish as I. My eyes were squeezed shut and my chest swelled up and down in quick jittery movement as painful chuckles spilled from me. We were so consumed within this bubble of ecstasy and freedom that neither of us heard Charlie open the front door and walk into the mess we had created.

"Hey, hey, what's going on here?" At the sound of a voice dripping in anger and confusion, Bella rolled off me and we quickly gathered ourselves off the floor and attempted to look presentable. As we got up, Bella slipped on the carpet my hand catching her elbow to steady her.

"Hi Dad." Bella said calmly as she tried to regain her balance.

"Yeah hi." Charlie responded and dropped his gun on the wooden table, the clash creating an echoing bang. "Want to tell me what's going on?"

Neither of us had an adequate answer, nor wanted to reveal the complicated truth that underpinned our desire for such an activity. An awkward silence coated the room as neither Bella nor I spoke.

"Look," Charlie crossed his arms tightly over his chest – and I knew from the way his mouth quivered and eyes wondered that it was a feeble attempt to reclaim a strong fatherly status. Fatherly…my thoughts drifted to my mine, to the ghost and dreams of him that seemed to haunt and follow me through reality and fiction. Father…what that must be like to have.

"I know you girls are finding it difficult to adjust but next time you want to," he waved his arms at the mess as he searched for the word, "Do, uh, whatever it is you girls do, don't mess up the house. Clean this up." His voice was stern but his mannerism hesitant and uncertain.

As he left the room, I could see Bella's regret – her embarrassment pinches her nose red. She had told me her tales of Edward Cullen, of her emotions regarding being the new kid, of being alone and afraid and frustrated. I wished with all my heart that I could take those emotions away from her, that I could touch her hand and seep them into me for them to rot and wither. I wanted to protect her, to keep her safe and vanquish any negative feeling that poisoned her. But I knew she would never let me, and I knew that although painful…it would allow her to grow…I hope.

Hope.

I hoped that next week would go better.

That everything will be alright.

Everything will be alright.

* * *

 **Authors Note: Hi everyone! I hope that chapter was alright and I can't wait to hear what everyone thinks! I'll be posting review replies at the end of the next chapter as I am preparing for an exam! Yikies! But I would absolutely love to hear what you think of it, any suggestions, wishes, ideas and most importantly if you would like for me to continue! Thank you so much my beautiful readers! Until next time! :)**

 **PS: Please review! I won't know if anyone would like for me to continue this story or not without it but please no hate as this year has been rather painful.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Authors Note: Hello my lovelies, I just wanted to thank you all for those who read, favorited and followed! But especially to those who reviewed! You truly make my day and are nestled in a dear and precious space in my heart! I hope you all like the new chapter! I was also wondering if (since there is dance and music in this) if you would like me to comment which pieces of music are being played at the end of the chapter? Anyways, I hope you enjoy and I'll see you at the end of the chapter! Happy Reading!**

The weekend seemed to pass with a mesmeric tranquility – the soft rain never halting it's fall nor the mist in its thickness. I felt safe, cozy like some small mouse snoozing in its home within the walls. I spent most of my time writing music – dancing in my room, along hallways and in the kitchen as I wrote new melodies, melodies for those I lost and for anyone who dared listen from beyond the grave. My homework became a distant thought as creativity claimed me as it's slave. Bella and I cooked and baked – assisted Charlie in areas that he fell short in. I adored cooking with Bella, talking and laughing as if it were only the two of us that existed in this world. She told me about her novels and classes, about a mysterious Edward Cullen that wriggled underneath her skin in some agitating way.

She had informed me of a trip to La Push Ocean Park that would take place in two weeks' time. I didn't know Bella's friends all too well, but when my little cousin asked me to come – when she scrunched up her face in some purposeful innocent way to convince me to join her, I couldn't say no. Bella hated the cold, any wet and slippery thing. She grew up in the warmth – a paradise of gentle warm sand that tickled feet and glided easily in the hot summer's breeze. This trip would be a good distraction for her, and perhaps – maybe for me as well.

As the weekend slid into the frost covered morning of Monday – I lazily unpeeled the covers of my bed and tiptoed to the window. The plush carpet was icy against my pointed toes, but as I looked through the delicate icy lace that crusted the window's glass, a small spark of excitement lit up inside me at the possibility of snow-fall. Delicate on my feet, I padded my way across the darkened house and into Bella's room. She was still asleep, perfectly cocooned and nestled underneath layer upon layer of duvet, blankets and sheets.

Tiptoeing to the side of her bed, I leant down and placed a single kiss on her forehead. She stirred lightly, her eyes opening with a foggy sleepiness.

"Good morning sweetheart, would you like some hot coco?" I asked gently, still aware that her ears would be sensitive to sound after just waking. She rubbed her brown eyes and let out a groggy yawn as she nodded. "Perfect, I'll go make some and bring them up to you. Just stay right there, my lovely."

Getting up, I traced my steps back towards my room and enveloped my white nightdress in a warm pastel-pink dressing gown. Picking up my violin, I placed its velvety chin-rest underneath my chin and began to play a soft melody as I made my way down stairs and into the kitchen. Humming to the sweet music, I placed my violin down to make some hot coco and warm French toast for breakfast – my humming slowly turning into singing as I went and moved about the kitchen with ease.

I made three portions and delivered the first to Charlie who was just getting out of bed to prepare for work. With Bella second, she had fallen back into a deep sleep. My cheekiness was almost tempted to pour some maple syrup onto her sleeping face but I thought against it. Placing the food and drink on her bedside table, I kissed her cheek and pulled the curtains open before returning to my room with a tune at my lips.

I felt more relaxed about today, more hopeful as if the events of last week had become a strange blur. But a nervousness, a sense of loneliness still pinched my skin as I ate and quickly did my homework last minute.

I decided to dress in a mini light-gray pleated skirt, black tights, a tucked in white turtle neck long sleeve top and a pastel pink coat with a white peter pan collar. Tucking my feet into my black boots– I plucked up my backpack, violin and went downstairs to find Bella waiting by the opened door. Her expression looked distant and lost, as her soul had escaped her body to drift elsewhere. Placing a hand on her shoulder, her eyes blinked herself back into her physical form. Looking down at me, her cheeks flushed an embarrassed pink.

"Ready for another week?" I pondered aloud – knowing her answer before she spoke a feeble lie.

"Sure, and nothing beats school on a freezing day." I sighed at her sarcasm, at her inability to see the wonder in Jack Frost's creations. "Let's go."

I followed her out of the house, closing the door with a soft click as Charlie hopped out of Bella's rustic truck. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion at his early adventure. But before my lips could part to voice my curiosity – a small oomph broke the morning's lullaby as Bella slipped onto the icy floor.

Seeing her slip, her name exited my mouth in a fearful cry. I rushed towards her, brushing her hair out of her eyes as I checked to make sure she was okay.

Fall, Slip, Shatter.

That was all it took. Mama… I searched Bella's eyes, her body as a rush of questions escaped me. That's all it had taken…one slip and she –

"I'm alright Willa, I'm okay." Her features reflected a fearful bewilderment at my panic at my trembling body and quivering chin. Mama….

No.

Everything was alright. These weren't my mother's eyes that I looked into – these were Bella's. Beautiful and healthy, strong and safe. I tucked in my bottom lip as I willed my strength and calmness to harden my skin. I had cracked in front of her. This was Bella – not my mama, not my –

"You alright?" Charlie asked, standing awkwardly behind me. I wasn't sure who the question was directed at as my hands, my wet blood covered – no, water covered hands shook. I blinked away those memories, felt my skin harden as I pushed and pushed those memories, those emotions and vulnerability back into the shadows.

"Yea," Bella replied, shaking her head as she released a small embarrassed puff of laughter. "Ice doesn't really help the uncoordinated." Her eyes never left mine as she spoke, as if she was trying to ask me a plethora of questions through a single look. But I couldn't translate them – not when my strength and energy was focused on remaining strong, remaining normal.

I outstretched a hand and silently helped her too her felt, brushing off any ice and droplets that clung to her damp clothing.

"Here, let me." I said softly as I took her bag from her and placed our belongings in the truck.

"Yea," Charlie continued, placing his hands into his pocket as he walked over to his dirt stained police car. "That's why I had some new tiers put on the truck, the old ones were getting pretty bald. We'll I'll probably be late for dinner. I got to head down to Mason Country. A security guard at the Grisham Mill got killed by some kind of animal."

"An animal?" Bella questioned, the notion of animal attacks a foreign concept to her.

"You're not in Phoenix Anymore Bells. Anyway, I figured I'd lend a hand." Seeing his timid-nature towards the situation, I stepped towards him and plucked his hand up from where it lay at his side. Talking it in both of my hands, I applied the slightest of pressures.

"If you need any assistance Charlie then please, I know it may not be my place, but – please let me know." Growing up in the nations I did, I had a lot of experience with animals, both wild and tamed in their nature. My thumbs caressed his rough skin and watched as his features softened in a way that seemed as if they had not much practice in the manner.

"I'll be alright Willa. Always am." I squeezed his hand once more before letting it slip from my grasp.

"Thank you for the tiers." Bella said, and with a stiff nod in response – Charlie, Bella and I parted ways for a new and unexplored day to commence.

* * *

As the minutes of the lesson passed by - as a strange and complex language of continuous change and arithmetic operations floated through the room like some blue mist…my ponderous mind drifted further and further into that alluring dreamer's realm. With my cheek neatly tucked into the cradle of my hand – my eyes gazed out of that crystallized window and into the mysterious sky. I sometimes wished I could fly – to soar in places that one should never be allowed to. What it must be like…to see the world from that height, to be a bird, graceful and whimsical as I looked down on places only discoverable through flying.

My eye-lids misted over as my surroundings swirled – taking shape of a memory long ago. The air became sweet, familiar in its intimacy and joy as soft grass poked between my toes. This field of endless grass and dandelions seemed to melt into the sky as it stretched across miles and miles of land – our land, or at least it had been, once upon a time in those youthful years of eight years young. My skin softened as my body shrunk – morphing into a child who's naïve and untamed heartbeat over took my own.

"Mama!" I had once cried with glee, with beautiful ecstasy as I watched her ethereal being take flight in a grand jéte. Her elegance was that of dreams, made from the silk of those mythical creatures that made fairytales blossom.

"Would you like to fly my angel?" She would ask me, each step she took towards me careful and precise – as if she were constantly walking upon a thin and glassy iced pond. She held a hand out to me, soft and pale – elegant and feather-like.

"More than anything." I would say in a hopeful plea. My hand would slip into hers, apply the slightest of pressures as we walked out into the field. She would smile and laugh as we talked – as she lifted me above her head and threw me this way and that as if I were some doll. She would place a single hand on my back and lift me high above her head as I let my arms drop behind my head as we twirled – twirled and spun until she brought me down with one of those rare and pure smiles.

"Now," she would then say – her hands on her hips in some desperate attempt to appear authoritative. "Show me how you fly."

And with the grace of a new born dove – I would dance and leap and twirl, imagining I was some petal happily lost in that gentle summer's breeze.

Summer – no. The air turned frost-coated and damp as I opened my eyes and returned to a world that existed in the now. What that must be like…to truly fly…

As the class went on I imagined just that – until a new and fantastical bead of snow captured me whole. I could feel my breath hitch, stutter in my throat as intricate patterns of ice floated down weightlessly in some magical and breathless manner. A flurry of emotions burst within me as I bit my lip with need and desire, with that sweet thirst for – The bell chimed the end of class and without a moment's hesitation I was gone. Weaving my way in between students until I pressed my palm flat against an obscuring door and pushed out into the snow.

I gasped, wide and loudly as a bright and wild smile shone from my heart and onto my lips. Snow. I scampered further out, twirling as I walked. Pausing, I titled my head back and allowed my eyes to flicker shut. I had never felt such a beautiful thing kiss my flesh. It was cool, delicate and mystifying…perfection.

A low and purposeful cough announced itself behind me, yet I did not move nor waver.

"Ahem – for those of you who have just turned in to the local news, Willa has been diagnosed with a severe case of the crazies from seeing snow. Is the snow dangerous? Is Willa in need of mental help? Stay tuned to find out." At Otto's light and laughter coxing words, I opened my eyes and turned towards my friend with an expression of fascination and jollity. His cheeks were blushed a frosty pink and his nose, his slightly pinched nose, was as red as that of a familiar reindeer.

"Isn't this the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?" I asked him, my hands quivering before they brushed the backs of his and guided them upwards towards the melting sky. His expressed marked one of curiosity and concern, but he did not resist my touch as I pealed back his fingers and exposed his palms to this colossal sight of fairy-like snow and ice. "Can't you feel it?" I asked enthusiastically, my eyes drifting all around me in an intoxicating haze. "It's magic." I shook my head as I tried to suppress that aching feeling to fly amongst it all. "Don't you Rudolph?" I tapped his nose with a single finger – my cheeks crinkling with joy as his eyes widened in a melodramatic shock at the nickname I had bestowed upon him.

"Hey, I'll have you know that Rudolph was loved by all the reindeer." He pointed a stern finger towards me as he attempted to mask his amusement through a shield of seriousness.

"As the shout out with glee, Rudolph the Red-Nosed," I brushed my fingertip against his nose once more, "Reindeer!" I took a little step backwards and danced modestly with gliding, graceful and twirling movements as I sang with cheer, "you'll go down in history!" With my back towards him, I craned my neck over my shoulder to give him a joyous smile as a streak of white whirled past my vison and shattered against Otto's face.

Turning back round, I lowered my arms as my body shifted back into a stance that resembled normality to see Josie with mischief painted across her freckled face. Otto released an exasperated sigh as he marched towards her – rolling his sleeves up the closer he got. Yet to his demise, once he was but a few mere inches from her, Josie mushed a heap of snow into his face and their war of snow and ice commenced.

Taking a step away, I bit my lip gently as a willingness of my heart burst thunderously inside me. I could feel it's pulse weave its way down through my arms and into my dancing fingers and spiraling wrists as I hummed a song born from myths. Feeling the snow – it's frosty fairies dance upon my skin…I had no choice but to join them. And so, I did, dancing a small dance as I removed all care for those who watched as they passed.

"La, La-di-da," The corners of my eyes pinched as I smiled, as I pirouette to Jack Frost's spell before slowing to a stop that had my heart clench and my eyes softly widen at that mysterious stranger who walked across the courtyard with the grace of a ballet dancer and stiffness of a solider. His eyes held mine as he walked alone, as his pace slowed and hesitated.

Jasper.

His gaze slid into mine, caressing my irises and tickling my heartbeat – pulling at it in a fashion that surprised myself. Memories of our dance waltzed across my mind as some shy fiery need to dance with him once more ignited within me. His sentence, our tutoring session – they remained an enigma to me, a fearful and embarrassing truth that I did not wish to believe had happened. He had come across as reserved and basic…no, not basic…secretive - yet when I looked into those eyes, when his finger-tips has teased my clothed and naked flesh…I knew he was different, that he…in some way I had yet to discover, was similar to me.

My feet stumbled towards him in some ungraceful manner and he halted his stride – as if he too was searching, no, needing something from me. I parted my lips to speak, but to speak what I did not know. For I did not understand our connection, I did not understand him but I wanted to, needed to in order to find some clarity in this haze of attraction that was not simply just that.

"I'm certainty glad to see you again." The words were soft and sweet and out of my mind's control as my heart spoke.

I watched breathlessly as he took a single step towards me – the snow silent underneath his feet. He wetted his lips as his gaze intensified and flared. "I…" His voice mirrored a similar softness and depth to mine. "I'm certainly glad to see you as well."

Yet just as I blinked, just as I took a timid step towards him – he snapped his eyes away and walked away with the same casual pace as he did before.

* * *

As I traded the frosty-coolness for the sticky saltiness of the gym – a new found confidence and determined curiosity blossomed within my heart as it shadowed my mind and pulled the strings of my marionette form. When the music played, when it soared and skittered and pushed against those four concrete walls to commence the start of class – I had no doubt nor hesitance in who I wanted to dance with. My feet moved nimbly towards him, quick and tiny like a scampering mouse as he held his ground away – his brother absent from the room. Tall and solid, inviting and alluring – I stopped before him.

"Dance with me." Sharp and commanding, as If he would accept no other answer then yes. And I…with even breath and polite charm – answered his wish.

We danced across the room – spiraled and twisted as if we were two strands of smoke teasing one another – testing each other. But unlike before – this time, a new, quirky and cheeky confidence flittered amongst our steps like birds plucking at violin strings. The music was sweet and high pitched – quick and beautiful as our shells disintegrating and our true-selves leapt and twirled and whirled. I scurried away from him, my hand delicately outstretched for him to grasp. His fingertips teased mine before he spun me towards him – my nose gently colliding with his chest as his scent, pine, books and cinnamon, drifted up my nostrils. Peering up through my eye-lashings, my eyes pinched with mischief and a glee only shown to the forest and stars, I raised his arms with fragile fingers as if he were a bird before scurrying and dancing around and beneath him, before our dance of cat and mouse burst into existence.

I could feel crusts of his mask fall against my skin as he smiled, as a wild freedom glazed his eyes and soaked me raw. We did not care who watched, nor did we care of the consequences…it was just him and I as he spun and spun me until I miss-stepped and stumbled into his arms – our eyes, our lips and hearts and minds smiling at each other through clouded sticky and sweet breathes.

"You were right about one thing," I whispered excitedly as his hands grazed my waist – his honey locks curling over his eyes. "We don't live in isolation from the past, and I would have it no other way." I pirouetted once in his arms before stepping out of his reach in a mouse-like fashion. I understood what he meant about the past – and now I knew, from the way he danced, from construction of his shell, his eyes and heart that his past contained shadows and beauty, violence and fragility, dreams and nightmares that only a rare few carries.

Jasper knotted his hands behind his back as he took a single step towards me, his head tiled down as his eyes, those golden orbs, showed a tranquility and intrigue that I had not seen before in any other person. "Would you mind if I asked you a question?" He asked politely.

I shook my head, mesmerized by what had passed. "Not in the slightest."

"What is your greatest wish?"

His question was simply but rare, forward but timid and polite and cautious. I outstretched my arms out as my head lulled back and my eyes misted over. My answer was one that I did not need to ponder. "To be free, to fly amongst the dreamers and the stars and the impossible." Opening my eyes, I looked back towards him and approached him slightly – my features softening with glass-like sincerity. "May I ask you a question in return?"

He inclined his head in approval. "Of course."

"If you could, would you travel back in time to live, to relive and explore a world of the past?" I asked gently, unsure whether I would coax any splintering shadows from his past.

Yet like me, he answered without hesitation, without thought. "I would. And you," his arms fell to his side from behind his back – his body open towards mine, his heart exposed as mine was to his. "Would you travel into worlds of the past?"

My answer…"Yes."

We held each other's gaze, loosing ourselves in one another as we pondered the air fizzing between us – as the music played like birds chirping their secrets into our ears.

"Who are you Willa Fawn?" His southern accent clipping every syllable as his perplexity glimmered.

"I wonder the same about you Jasper Hale." I replied before the music stopped, the bell rang and I scampered away and into the changing rooms.

* * *

The next day – things felt fresher, lighter as if the snow froze fear and doubt and molded into some mystical sculpture of hypnotic hope. Bella – her steps seemed peppier as if she too could feel Jack Frost weaving in between her bones and veins, working his magic on her darling heart. The roads were iced black as we drove, as I leaned my head out the window with closed eyes and an open mind. Bella shared everything with me – her conversation with Edward, how he managed to strangle her logic and capture her breath…his eyes. I found that most curious of all – his lie about his eyes, if it were just that. I flicked my eyes back towards my little cousin and a strong wave of protectiveness echoed within me. Her clumsiness had been getting the best of her – as if some invisible elf followed her to practice his mischievous tricks.

I helped her out of the truck when we arrived at school – my lithe feet balanced against the ice as she leaned on me for support. Closing the door with a soft click I placed her hands on the rustic red surface and went to fetch our bags from the open-spaced trunk. After handing her, her backpack, I frowned at her shivers, at her tiny tremors as her teeth chattered.

I had just taken off my white parka and handed it to her when an unpleasant sound broke through the air and shattered its serenity.

With innocent bewilderment, I craned my neck to peer behind me before a paralyzing fear and terror and dread grasped my heart and dug its claws in viciously as there – hurtling towards us with uncontrollable speed and direction…was a dark blue van.

* * *

 **Authors Note: Hello everyone! I hope you liked the chapter and are excited for the next one! If ya'll have any comments, suggestions, wishes or anything then please review! I know it may seem like a lot to ask but even just a wee 'i liked this' would help me/inspire me to continue posting. Please no hate or nasties as this has been a very hard year. But I can't wait to read you're beautiful reviews and I truly thank you so for doing it. Also let me know about the music as well! Until next time...**

 **corinbeam: Thank you so much! You're truly the sweetest! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I can't wait to see what you think! If you have any suggestions or wishes then let me know as well! Oh! I also know that there is a dot in between your name but for some reason when I posed it your name transformed into a ':' I hope this is oki and thank you so much for reviewing!**

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	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: Hello my beautiful readers! i just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has followed, favorited and reviewed! You all are so sweet and you truly make my day! I really hope you are enjoying the story and like this chapter! I've been having exams so it's taken me a little longer to write it and I'm really sorry for any typos or errors! I'll leave replies to reviews at the end and another small authors note! I can't wait to see what you all think and I hope you all enjoy it! Happy Reading!**

Seeing the dark blue van skid towards us at speed, I could feel my veins freeze over with that thick paralysing frost. My eyes were wide with innocent fear…yet my heart was alive and alert as it bet thunderously inside me. My little cousin's gasp shattered that frozen ice within me as my heart burst through my ribcage and I threw myself in front of her yet…just when my body safely concealed hers, an inhuman force shoved me forwards, right into the nose of the van.

I had no time to scream. My breath….my heart and once stuttering pulse fled me as the van, monstrous and wild collided into me. I rolled up and over the bonnet like a rag-doll, my body twisting and turning as my eyes squeezed shut in pain and fear and terror and shock before I crashed down onto a concrete surface who's claws ripped out of the ground and tore violently at my flesh.

I couldn't move I…my bones…my heart…I closed my eyes as salty droplets slipped over their rims. I was fractured, completely and utterly broken and I…I wanted to scream, to unleash this suffocating agony that seemed to sew my lips shut and fester away inside me, rotting my insides as my broken bones and bleeding heart lay crumbled on the floor. There was a ringing, a sweet yet agitating sound that blurred over all flurries of chaos into a deep and fused muffle. I felt hands against me, smothering me as I drifted further and further into that mysterious abyss. Yet…just as I thought my soul would be chewed and swallowed by death itself…the oddest thing happened.

I could feel my blood fizz, bubble and split into small specks of scurrying butterflies who raced along and in-between my bones – mending them. I could feel shattered pieces of cartilage and bone click back into place as if I were some puzzle. The pain eased, yet did not vanish as a growing strength knocked against my skin from within, as if to say 'wake up my darling, for it is not yet time to sleep.'

I took in a deep breath – the taste of iron rich in my mouth as blood dribbled down my chin. 'Open your eyes' that voice sang in some ethereal voice. And so, with all my courage and strength…I did. Flicking my eyes open, the ringing in my ears faded as a whirlwind of worry, panic and alarm shouted through the air. The concrete patch next to me was reddened with blood that crusted against it. My hands – my fingers…they quivered and shook and trembled in shock and agony. I still couldn't move. Yet it wasn't because I was broken because somehow, in some unfathomable and magical way…I wasn't. I was in one piece internally but, on the outside…I curled closer into myself, as I looked at my trembling fingers and hands. They were scraped and cut dangerously – stinging as flesh that was not supposed to be exposed to the air was.

I tried to move, tried to stand but I…how was I alive, how was I… I tried to capture my mind from its slippery self until a sudden truth slammed into me hard and abruptly.

Bella.

Gasping, I conjured up all of my strength and will to stand. My feet were wobbly – as if I were some new born child learning to walk for the first time. I stumbled through the crowds of people whose voices and eyes and hands smothered me whole. I couldn't see her, I…I could feel tears spill uncontrollably from my eyes, leaking my fear and desperation and panic and I couldn't breathe. I couldn't…this crowd of hysteria drowned me, smashed into me as I struggled to weave in-between their bodies. Seeing a small gap, I nimbly slithered in-between students as I held my hands closely to my chest. I had to get out of their grasp, to breathe that sweet air, to know I was alive and not trapped in this claustrophobic mass. Slipping from them, I leant against the van with my shoulder, my eyes misting over as my breaths hiccupped and hands trembled.

Bella.

I opened my eyes – my vision blurring and misting before achieving clarity, before I looked into those two eyes across the parking lot, those eyes that held me once before and soothed my heart. I could feel the oxygen in my lungs thicken, sweeten and slow as his eyes held mine, held my heart and crumbling body upright. His eyes were wide with worry, drowning in panic and pain as some mesmeric fragility molded his features. It was as if he could break at the mere sight of me. What memories I must have coaxed for him – being this injured and death-cheating girl who could barely walk yet…as time passed…I could feel my energy grow. My feet balanced against the ice and I took a dainty step away from the van I leaned upon.

Bella.

With a flicker of alarm, I tore my eyes away from his. I dropped to my knees and pulled myself underneath the van to reach my cousin. The ground was cold against my bleeding hands, soothing in some strange manner as I pulled myself along until I grasped the sight I wished and hoped to see.

She was alright.

Pressed up against her rustic van, a bewildered look glazed across her face as Edward held her in some tight and protective embrace. Yet as his eyes shifted to mine, as I pulled myself fully from underneath the van and began to tend to my cousin, a disarming panic consumed his eyes and he shifted away from Bella. He looked me over, deeply and with haste before his eyes widened with a mixture of both shock and relief. He was the one who I had collided with, who had accidently pushed me forward into the incoming van. I could see his guilt, his hands and face trembling as if he was holding back an unknown emotion or action.

As my eyes darted between him and my cousin, I ran my bleeding fingers through Bella's hair in a feeble attempt to sooth her.

"Bella, oh my sweet Bells are you alright?" Panic was rich in my voice as I positioned myself closer to her – my hands now cupping her icy cheeks as I searched for wounds. She nodded in response, bewilderment still pulsing in her eyes. I looked to Edward with a look of desperation and vulnerability. I needed more, needed to know more about my Bella, about my -

"I think she hit her head pretty hard. She might have concussion." I swallowed deeply as I tried to restrain my panic and fear. Every time my eyes closed, every time I blinked…all I could see was that van, faster and faster until…

I placed my quivering fingers on her forehead, my face pulled in absolute fragility when she suddenly pulled away as her cheeks reddened with embarrassment and then alarm.

"Willa," the sound of her voice pulled me out of my own flustered thoughts. Bella took my hands in hers and squeezed them lightly. "You're hurt." Her eyes remained fixed on my flesh-torn hands. "You were hit, Willa we need to get you to a hospital."

"I'm alright," I tried to sooth her and myself at the same time. I should be dead or unable to move, I should be lying on that slab of concert as my soul faded from me and flittering in the air as un untethered and free thing. Yet I wasn't. I was alive and breathing and the pain continued to leave my body, as if someone had poked holes in me for the pain to drain out. "I'm alright, it barely grazed me." I lied to her. "I didn't have enough time to move so I managed to gently roll onto the bonnet. Like a dance." I wouldn't have believed the lie I told her, yet she, after a moment or two of puzzlement and thought, did for now.

"Willa?" I turned my head to the right where I saw both Josie and Otto lying underneath the truck in distress. "Josie's called 911 so it shouldn't be long. Mr. Varner and Coach Clapp are on their way to help move the van. It won't be long so just hang on okay?" I swallowed the forming lump in my throat and nodded at their worried expressions before looking back towards my little cousin.

"Everything will be alright Bells," I told her gently before placing a single kiss on her nose. Resting my forehead against hers, I closed my eyes and squeezed them tightly as the memory of the van, of that impossibly fast and wild machine, of my blood, of the impossibility that was me, of Jasper… guilt and longing nipped at my heart when I saw his expression. Some desperate urge to comfort and sooth him washed over me. The expression he held, the way his hands dug into the metal of the car...

I opened my eyes as my mind pushed back my thoughts. "Everything will be alright Bella," I looked into her eyes as the tips of our noses kissed. "I promise you."

The next moments passed in an ungraceful blur. It took six EMT's and both Mr. Varner and Coach Clapp to shift the van far enough for stretchers to be brought in. I cradled Bella in my arms the entire time as we watched the chaotic effort to reach us unfold. Edward had remained silent the entire time, yet his eyes did not leave Bella nor me. In the end, both Edward and I managed to successfully refuse our stretches, yet Bella, my poor darling Bella, she had to have a neck-brace and stretcher. I held her hand the whole time, whispering soothing things in her ear to ease the embarrassment. Yet when they picked up the stretcher to carry her away, my hand slid from hers as an ice cold one encased my entire shoulder. Peering over my shoulder, Edward's grip tensed and relaxed on me – as if he was not sure of how fragile I was. He dropped his hand to his side when I turned to face him – my arms wrapped around me as a single bead of salty water ran down my cheek.

"Willa, I…I don't know how you could ever forgive me," he shook his head as guilt directed his eyes downwards to his feet. "No apology could ever be enough," I took a step forward and placed a single finger underneath his chin. Applying the lightest of pressures, I guided his head upwards so our eyes could meet. His hand then took ahold of mine – cradling it as he looked at the damage. His lips parted as his ability to speak was stolen from him.

"You saved my little cousin," I told him gently as a forced smile twitched my lips upwards. "I forgive you."

Edward shook his head, balancing one of my hands in his as he reached out to cradle the other.

"You shouldn't." He replied, his eyes flicking up to mine.

I took my hands back, watching as his skin stuttered at the absence of my mine. "I know." I whispered, "but I do."

I turned away from him, walking towards the ambulance where I was to ride in the back with my little cousin. My fingertips brushed against the door to the ambulance when I looked over my shoulder to capture Jasper's eyes once more. His back had straightened, sharpened as had his eyes. He looked like a predator, like a dangerous weapon as anger flared within him. Yet the longer we held each other's eyes, the more his eyes softened – weakened as his lips parted in a helpless gesture. He took a single step forward before an EMT grasped my hand and pulled me into the ambulance.

The ride to the hospital was quick and misty as the EMT's tended to Bella and I. I couldn't listen to what the EMT said to me, for my mind was elsewhere…drifting far into the past as I replayed those moments over and over in my head. My hands were wrapped in a temporary cloth bandage. As our journey drew to a close, the cloth turned a light pink and then red as my wounds bled.

When we arrived at the hospital, I trailed closely behind Bella's stretcher - my hands nestled against my chest. I hadn't been in a hospital since my mother's passing. It felt strange, frightening as if I was waiting for her to emerge from one of the rooms and take me in her arms, saying it was all a dream and she was alright. But at the same time, despite the fear there was a strange sense of belonging. My heart beat thunderously inside me as I walked, as I looked into the rooms filled with patients. I felt their souls pull at mine, pull at my hands and eyes and mouth and very being. I wanted to help them, to read, to sing, to play music, to talk to them, to dance for them and bring them a medicine that does not come in pills or liquid form. My heart and feet stopped when I saw the sign for the children's ward. Tears dribbled down my cheeks as the tip of my nose burned.

"Willa," a hand pressed against my back – cold and firm. Edward. He had ridden in the front of the ambulance.

I met his eyes, feeling his guilt flood into me. A delicate smile pulled at the corners of my lips before I gave him a small nod and continued to follow my cousin.

After being given the all clear, Edward gave Bella and I one last look of concern before leaving. I leaned against the wall as I watched Bella being tended too. She did not meet my eyes, her skin stained pink with embarrassment and dread. It wasn't long before Tyler's stretcher was brought in as well. He had a tightly wrapped bandage around his head, blood staining it's white surface. I watched Bella and Tyler's exchange of words silently as my hands were stitched and then bandaged. We were both then required to undergo x-rays and I couldn't help my curiosity and anticipation as I waited for my results. When the van hit me – when it shattered my bones and heart, I had broken countless bones, fractured myself whole. Yet when the results came…not a single bone in Bella nor I had been harmed.

Despite Bella's protests, she was instructed to return to the ER room to see the doctor, and despite wanting to accompany her…that magnetic pull towards the children's ward tugged me away from my cousin and down the hallway to where it was located.

Before my mother's passing I used to volunteer in local hospitals alongside her. We would sing and dance and play music until both the children and their parent's cheeks hurt from smiling. We would make decorations to hang on the walls and bring gifts during the festive seasons. But after my mama had died…I wrapped my arms around me as I walked through the children's ward. No child should ever have to be in a place like this, no human.

Reaching the end of the room, my hands twitched at the absence of my violin. There was a small door at the end, a glass one that led out onto a balcony facing the forest. Pressing my palm against the cool surface, I pushed open the door and walked towards the railing of the balcony. The air was frosty yet refreshing. I leaned into its embrace, pressing myself against the railing as the wind tangled my hair. I shouldn't be alive, shouldn't be allowed to be and yet…. now, somehow, the air seemed sweeter than before, more real and vital and beautiful. My heart. I pressed my hands to it, desperate to feel it's pulse, to reassure myself that this wasn't a dream. I let out a gasp of relief as I felt my pulse, strong and determined. I was here, I was…

"Willa." The voice behind me was soft and beautiful. Gentle and careful with a melodic Texan melody. I turned around in a startled manner. Jasper. Every grain of predator and anger had left him, leaving nothing but fragility and softness as his eyes caressed me. His breath caught in his throat, "are, are you alight?" It was like his worlds melted in the air – the apple in his throat bobbing in hesitance.

My eyes looked up into his, wide and innocent and hypnotized by his. "I think so." I replied, realizing I had hidden my hands behind my back.

"May I?" Jasper held out a hand, it trembled slightly as if was afraid to see the hands that I hid.

I hesitated, afraid to be vulnerable in front of him. Yet as my breath and heart hiccupped within me, I held out my bandaged hands for him. His expression shifted at the sight of them and I suddenly wanted to hide them behind me. But before I could, he took them with delicate caution in his own. My hands were tiny in his, fragile feathers as he held them softly. His eyes held such concern, such worry and distress and sadness. He placed one of my hands-on top of the other and began to trace my fingers and the fluff of the bandage.

"I'm so sorry I…"

I grew nervous, worried. "Are you not well around blood and gore?"

He shook his head, smiling slightly as if he knew a secret I did not. "No, it's not that."

"What is it then, if I may ask?" I wondered aloud with politeness.

He took a step towards me, my pulse quickening at the intensity in his eyes. He towered over me as he spoke with such strengthen and heartache at the same time. "In all of my experiences, I've never seen such delicate skin harmed. This should never have happened." Anger flared in his eyes and the way his body shifted, he looked dangerous. And I…I felt afraid of him in that moment.

Biting my lip, I drew up my courage and spoke my reply. He would not hurt me. "I'm afraid that phrase can be used for quite a few events in life."

Seeing and hearing the fear in my voice, he instantly relaxed and softened his features. "That's very true Willa, if not it could be used to describe moments in every day that passes."

His last statement caught me off guard, and I couldn't help but take a step towards him. "I should hope not. That sounds like a very sad life."

"Are you sad?" He asked without hesitance.

"What an odd question. "I said with a curious and breathes smile.

"But are you?" He pressed delicately.

My smile faded as my vulnerability pressed my veins outwards, wanting to escape and lay bare for him to see. "Yes. Although I try to hide it….no one has ever asked me that before. Not truly and genuinely." I licked my lips before asking, "and you, are you sad?"

"What an odd question." My lips playfully twitched upwards at his teasing. Yet the lightness of the moment did not last long "Yes, although I try to hide it."

"It's a shame, isn't it?" I said, turning to face the forest. "That we live in this beautiful world yet," I turned back towards him, trying to stay strong…but every time I blinked…everything time I…. "there is so much pain. Both of my parents are dead. I never knew my father so I suppose dealing with his absence is easier but there's always that mystery." His lips parted as understanding glimmered in him. "Do you remember much about your parents?"

He looked off to the side in thought, as if he was replaying their memory in his mind. He looked so distant in that moment, so vulnerable and broken – as if he was longing for something, desperately and completely. He flicked his eyes back to mine. "Yes, and no…they are both dead now as well." Restrained tight pain pinched his words.

I was unsure whether to ask him anymore. This memory seemed to hurt him so and in that I understood. But if he was anything like me, then maybe, just maybe, he wanted someone to ask him more – so he could know that someone cared, that someone understood. "Do you visit them often?" I inquired softly.

Confusion tugged his features downwards. "I'm sorry, Willa I do not understand."

My cheeks blushed an embarrassed pink. "I'm sorry, I meant do you visit their graves."

This question seemed to upset him. Yet it wasn't in the way that I would have thought it would. Guilt, he looked guilty…like he had betrayed not only himself but someone else. "No, I…I haven't."

The regret in his eyes drowned me and I instantly wanted to make him feel better, to reassure him. "That's alright, they are watching over you every day and every second. With pride and love, I just know it. And who knows, maybe our parents are friends in heaven." I smiled positively, my hands twitching at my sides as I considered taking his hands in mine, to squeeze them encouragingly but, I thought against it.

"Possibly." He replied with a small smile. "How did you learn to dance, Willa?" His question was blunt and quick, as if he had been wanting to ask it for some time.

"My mama," I said sweetly in memory of her. Turning back towards the forest, Jasper took beside me as we leaned against the railing. His white jacket sleeve brushing my arm lightly. The fabric was soft against me, soothing in some strange way. "She used to be a professional ballet dancer. She was beautiful, free and wild and absolutely magnificent. We would dance together every day. She taught me to live life with courage and fire and passion and love." I smiled as memories of her came tumbling out of my mouth. I told him about how I grew up, about volunteering in orphanages and hospitals, about Fitz, about how I learnt to dance and play the violin and every tale I could remember. He listened attentively and patiently. Smiling at the joys I shared and frowning at the painful memories. As I talked, his thumb caressed my pinkie in small soothing motions, as if to tell me I wasn't alone. Rain fell lightly but neither of us cared – for it was a light as a fairy's kiss.

"How did you learn to dance?" I asked him once I finished my tale.

His back, which had become slightly slouched and relaxed straightened up like a pin. His eyes remained fixed on the forest as he silently chose what to say before he spoke. "My mother." He breathed in deeply, as if it was painful to talk about her. "She taught me. She had this beautiful and untamable spirit, she liked to challenge authority and she did on quite a few occasions." The smile he gave was beautiful and lost and solely meant for her. "She loved to dance. Night, day…when I was little, I remember she would sneak into my room at night and take me out to dance under the stars. My father never approved." His features became tight and aggressive, solid like steel.

"Why was that?" I asked gently, my pinkie covering his thumb and linking it with his.

"He was a very serious man. He worked in the army and had little tolerance for disorder." His words were clipped and sharp.

"He viewed dancing as disorder?" I asked with delicate bewilderment.

He gave a tight nod. "Unfortunately, yes but since my mother passed I," His finger nails dug into wood of the railing, my eyes widening with surprise as the wood splintered underneath his strength. "I continued to dance as a way of keeping her close in my heart."

His story had touched me deeply. We were so similar and I…

"Take my hand." I told him gently, holding out my right hand towards him, my body shifted away from the forest to face him front on.

His voice was but a whisper as he said, "I don't want to hurt you."

I shook my head, taking his hand in mine and squeezing it lightly. "You could never hurt me."

He took my other hand, looking down at my bandages with that predator's gaze. I felt that familiar fear rise in me. He looked so dangerous, like he could break me in half if he wanted, like he could break anyone in half no matter their size. I squeezed his hand, a small plea of desperation for the familiar Jasper to come back to me. But he didn't. My breathing hiccupped aloud and his eyes flashed to mine. Fear turned my blood cold and my lip began to quiver.

No. He wouldn't hurt me.

"Hold me." I suddenly said, and his eyes crinkled in surprise and bewilderment and vulnerability. "Let me hold you." My voice was weak. That anger, that pain – I wanted to take it all away from him. "Please."

And selfishly, I wanted him to hold me too.

He didn't reply verbally. Instead, with eyes that were soft yet still lethal – he released my hands and took a few shy steps towards me. Pausing in front of me, he suddenly looked as if he didn't know what to do. I gave him a small smile, before wrapping my arms around his torso and resting my head against his chest. He was stiff in my embrace, cold and stone-like as if he had never been hugged before. I tightened my hold around him, closing my eyes as I willed my warmth into him. My fingers lightly caressed his back, and eventually – his arms wove around me and held me tightly. His grip was stone and fierce, desperate as if he was afraid he'd never be touched again.

But we had this moment.

And as we both held each other tightly, the rain hardened in its fall – our clothes melting together as the rain soaked us to the core. Pulling away slightly, his hand gently rested on my cheek –his touch feather-like as our eyes bleed into one another.

"Would it be alright if I took you home?" He asked, a southern gentleman.

I blinked away the droplets that clung to my eyelashes and licked the water from my lips. "I would like that. Just give me one moment." And just like that, I fled from his grasp and raced through the hospital.

Panic raced through me as I knew Bella and Charlie would be in a panic as to where I was. I had been away for too long, the sky a darkened blanket that oozed mystery and magic. My feet slid against the smooth floor until I suddenly crashed into Bella who had to grab my forearms to stop me from falling.

"Willa, I need to talk to you." My eyebrows furrowed in confusion and concern. Charlie was still talking on the phone to who I assumed was Bella's mom.

"What's wrong my lovely?" I asked her, trying to steady my breathing.

"It's Edward." Her words were serious and laced with determination. "He stopped the van."

"I know Bella he –"

She shook her head in frustration. "He was nowhere near us Willa." Her grip on my forearms tightened.

"Bella what are you talking about? Of course, he was, otherwise that wouldn't have been possible."

"Exactly, it shouldn't be possible but it was! And when I confronted him about it he said I hit my head but I know what I saw. I know what I saw Willa." I winced at her tight grip, unable to comprehend what she as saying. Edward couldn't have been far away…to reach as at the speed he did…that didn't seem possible. But the longer I thought about it, neither did what happened to me.

"Bella, I…" I struggled for words, my own mind slipping away from itself. "I, I don't know what to say. This doesn't make any sense to me."

"I know it doesn't make sense. But –"

"But what Bells?" I asked, raising a hand to caress her cheek and check her head.

"He said that no one would believe me."

"Maybe, Bella, just maybe he was closer than you think?" It was a hope, a sentence that I wasn't sure I believed myself, not after everything. What if the world we lived in was a lie, what if -

"Then explain how he stopped the van? No one can be that strong."

"I just, I don't know." And the truth was I didn't. As the older one I always felt very protective over Bella. I always tried to give her the answers she needed but in this…I just didn't know and didn't understand.

"Please Willa, I need your help on this." Her eyes were wide with need, with wanting reassurance that she wasn't crazy. She wasn't crazy, and the world suddenly seemed like a very unfamiliar place.

"I'll always help you." I said, placing a kiss on her forehead and lingering there for a moment as my eyes misted over and I tried to hide my fear and confusion. The world beneath my feet felt different, and I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or an ominous promise.

I pulled away, watching as she zipped up her jacket. "Thanks Willa, and hey, where did you run of to? We were getting really worried."

"Children's ward. I'm going to ask to volunteer here, it's something that my mama and I used to do and I can't suppress that any longer. I was wondering if you could tell Charlie that I'm just going to register and then I'll make my way home?"

"Are you sure you don't want us to wait?" She asked, concern lacing her words.

"I'm sure, I promise." I told her softly.

"Alright, I'll let him know."

I quickly took Bella in my arms, giving her kisses on her cheek as I held her tightly. I asked if she was alright, if she promised me. When she did, I reluctantly released her from my embrace and promised that when I came home we would have some hot chocolate, cuddle underneath some blankets and watch the movie of her choice. I talked to Charlie after I left Bella, reassuring him that I was alright. He was concerned about me volunteering at the hospital, for he didn't know if it would help heal me or damage me further. I ensured him that it was for the best, and after some convincing I left him to register as a volunteer and make my way to Jasper.

Despite the rain, he was still outside – looking out over the forest as if he were its commander and creator. He turned as I opened my door, his eyes lost in some thought he was carrying.

"Are you ready?" He asked softly, his posture more relaxed than before. I gave him a small nod and followed him timidly through the hospital. He walked with such grace and elegance, such poise. Each single stride he took was three of mine as I scampered along next to him to keep up. When we exited the hospital and he showed me our mode of transport, I couldn't contain my glee.

"Jasper!" I exclaimed in awe. "You sly fox! I never imagined you to ride a motorcycle, especially a vintage one at that!" My hands game up to cover my mouth and I couldn't help but twirl in excitement. When I turned towards him he looked sweetly embarrassed – his hand ruffling his hair as if he suddenly needed something to keep him busy.

"It's from the 1950's." He told me, putting both his hands in his pockets. His expression remained stern as he looked at the vehicle.

"It's beautiful." I told him honestly, my smile widening as I saw his lips twitch upwards.

"You seemed surprised." He stated, walking towards the motorcycle and handing me a vintage helmet and goggles. The leather was silky in my hands as my fingers drew invisible patterns against them.

"Why goodness I am!" I replied absolute glee . "I always imagined you to be more of a car person."

He shook his head stiffly and without emotion he said, "cars are too restricting."

"What a," I paused, shaking my head in disbelief, "what a beautiful enigma you are." He seemed taken aback by what I said, uncomfortable with it as if he had never been addressed in such a way. "Shall we?" I asked quickly to ease the forming tension.

He bowed his head, and smiled one of those rare smiles that render its receiver breathless. "As you wish Ma'am."

And so, we rode together through the night. I sat excitedly with a wide and thoughtful smile behind him, my head resting against his back as I allowed the wind to tangle and play with my hair. His body was stiff and focused as we went and it wasn't long before my eyes misted over and the memory of that van came crashing back into me. My grip on Jasper tightened – my fingers bunching his white jacket as the van came faster and faster until…Silent tears slid down my cheeks. I should be dead, how was I alive, how was I still here. My curiosity dug into me like a violent twisting dagger. What was I?

My eyes lazily opened, taking in our blurred surroundings as we drove. The roads were quiet except for the odd car. I nestled my nose against Jaspers back before straightening up and sang in his ear. His head tilted to the side as I sang a sweet melody that my mother used to sing me. I wasn't sure if it was for me or him, but as I sang I felt both of us relax against one another and our journey became more fluid and free. I continued to sing the entire trip – beautiful high notes of hope, imagination and love. My mama had written the song, and as we rode underneath the stars it was as if she was singing with me.

I asked Jasper to drop me off a few houses away from mine. Getting off his bike, I gently took the helmet off as he watched from where he remained sitting on his bike. I out stretched the helmet and googles towards him but he shook his head in refusal.

"Keep it." His voice was barely a whisper.

"Are you sure?" I wondered in surprise, my hand hesitating as it became confused in knowing what to do.

He simply nodded before saying calmly, "you never know when you may need it again."

I took a single step backwards and up onto the pavement. "Sweet dreams my beautiful enigma."

"Sweet dreams my –" the rest of his sentence was cut off as the bikes engine roared. I wanted to ask him how that sentence ended, but before I could – he drove off into the night, into the stars and forest, into his own solace.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Hello everyone! I hope you all liked the chapter and are curious about Willa and where the story will go! She's going to go through a huge character development so I hope you all are excited to see what her journey is! I would love to know if ya'll liked Jasper and Willa's interaction and progress! Thank you again to all who have reviewed, followed and favorited! Please review as I'd love to hear your thoughts/suggestions! Thank you all! Until next time...**

 **GawkyTC: Hi! Thank you so much for your review! I truly loved it and goodness I can't wait to see what you think of this chapter! Thats so sweet of you! Haha I understand what you mean though, I'm always the same with reading before bed! I really hope you liked this chapter and her interaction with Jasper and what happened to her after the crash, I can't wait to see what you think and I hope you are happy and well! Until Next time! :)**

 **Littlecosma001: Hi you! Thank you so much for your review! It was so sweet of you! I really hope you liked this chapter and I can't wait to see what you think of it!**

 **Dunesque: Hello you! Ah, you're review was honestly so sweet! I kept re-reading because it made me just glow with happiness! I hope you liked this chapter and seeing more of Jasper and Willa's interactions and bonding! I have so much planned for them and I hope you enjoyed it so! I can't wait to see what you think! I hope you are happy and well :)**

 **Snow Black: Hi you! That is so incredibly sweet of you to say! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! And I can't wait to see what you think of it!**

 **AmberinAshes: Hiya! I hope this helped your curiosity! There's a lot in store for Willa and Jasper and goodness you are truly just a star for what you said! Thank you so much and I can't wait to see what you think of this chapter!**

 **. .Name: Hi! Thank you so much for your review! I completely understand agree. I often get a little carried away with the writing and don't spend as much time on editing so thank you so much for pointing that out. I just have one more exam so the next chapter will definitely be more polished. I hope you liked this chapter and I truly can't wait to see what you think of the story!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note: Hello my lovelies! Thank you all so much to all of you beautiful people who have reviewed, favorited and followed. It truly means the world to me! I was rather nervous about positing this chapter as it reveals a lot about Willa and who she is and what she will grow into. I hope you all like it and if you have questions by the end of it thats oki because all will be revealed and explained as she learns more about herself! I hope you are enjoying the progress between her and Jasper too! It is a slow burn but one that will exploded into passionate fireworks and be well worth it I hope! I hope ya'll enjoy the chapter and I can't wait to see what everyone thinks!**

The water was cold, piercing as I lay in the bath fully submerged. My eyes were misted over as I held my breath, as the water moved around my body like shifting velvet. I let myself relax – allowed my body to stretch out in the water. My fingers strummed invisible violin strings and my toes clenched and unclenched. I enjoyed the feeling of the water rippling around me, echoing my movements in its own sweet way. My chest rose and fell with each intake of breath, calmly – as memories of my mama and I flittered across my eyelids.

 _"_ _Why are running away mama?" I remembered asking, hiding underneath the windowsill as my mama packed our things in great haste – beads of sweat running down her cheek from her unwashed and tangled hair. I had rested my chin against my soft toy giraffe, my fingers playing with his little bow tie._

 _"_ _We're not running away my lovely." She had said, had said every time we moved away. She came towards me, crawling on her knees and hands so not to be seen by those outside. All the lights in the house were off, the house enveloped in a darkness that was only broken by moonlight. She cupped my tiny child cheeks, caressing her thumbs over my soft skin. "We're playing a game." She whispered softly, placing a kiss on my forehead as a false bravery and excitement decorated her eyes._

 _"_ _I don't know if I like this game." I remember whispering, my tiny fingers pulling my soft toy closer to my chest. I was only eight years old when this happened for the third time._

 _"_ _You will my darling, once we win and find our new home, you will." She placed a kiss on my soft toy before cupping my hands in hers._

 _"_ _What is this game called, mama?" I remember asking her, looking up to the window above – fearful of whoever we were hiding and running from._

 _"_ _Hide and seek, Willa. That's all it is. And as long as we remain hidden, we remain safe." She spoke calmly, yet her eyes betrayed her as she looked at the clock on the wall, just as she had done every few minutes._

 _"_ _Who are we hiding from Mama?" I remember asking her, my knees pulling up to my chest – pressing my soft toy against my chest._

 _My mama looked at me as if she, in that moment, could kill. "The Monsters."_

My eyes burst open as I broke through the glassy water and tasted air once more. My lungs stung at the sudden impact and an ungraceful gasp escaped my lips as I huddled against the edge of the tub – my expression fearful and vulnerable. I had ripped off the bandages on my hands when I got home and to my amazement the broken and torn flesh, the dissolvable stitches…they had all faded into jagged and twirling white lines. I held my hands up in front of my eyes, water droplets scurrying down them as if they feared being apart from the main body of water in the bath. The white marks were delicate against my pale skin, delicate and unwanted. I pressed them to my chest, balancing my chin on the balled fist that I had made them into.

I was afraid of my own body. I felt like I was wearing a stranger's cloak of skin, that the blood swimming inside me was infected with an unknown serum or poison. No, it couldn't be poison, not when whatever was in me, whatever made me the person I was…saved me.

Hiding – Hidden.

I closed my eyes, and submerged myself once more.

 _"_ _Mama, I'm cold." I remember saying, squatting in the damp darkness underneath the floorboards of our home. My mama had placed a hand over my mouth, whispering in my ear to keep quiet. I could hear people shuffling about, their footsteps light and meticulous as they searched for whatever it was they had been looking for. I could hear them smelling, muttering to one another in an unfamiliar tongue._

 _Even when those strangers had left, my mama still kept her hand over my mouth throughout the whole night until I fell asleep in her arms. When I woke, she was packing once more._

 _"_ _Where are we going mama?" I had asked._

 _"_ _India, Willa." She replied, coming towards me and cupping my face with urgency in her eyes. "You have to promise me something my angel."_

 _"_ _Of course, mama," I replied, taking her hands in mine and squeezing them tightly as tears dribbled down her cheeks._

 _"_ _If anything should ever happen to me, you run, you run and don't look back my child." I shook my head, not understanding her determined and desperate words. "Don't let a single drop of your blood spill, don't let anyone know of our game, you just run you hear me? You run and don't ever get hurt. Don't break a bone, don't bleed don't…you are so precious to me Willa, my darling. My beautiful human girl, stay that way Willa, stay that way and don't get hurt." Her voice chocked, ached as she said her next words. "But if anything should ever happen to you, read…read and your father will guide you."_

Gasping, I quickly shattered the water's smooth surface and ran my trembling fingers through my long wet and tangled hair. Adrenaline pulsed through me as I got out of the bath and stood in front of the mirror, desperately looking for some scrap, something, just something that showed I had been seconds away from death.

My skin was clear, except for my hands. I shook my head, crouching over as I buried my face in my hands and let out a high sound of hysteria. My fingernails dug into my scalp as I collapsed to the floor. The tip of my nose burned as a raw sob slipped from my throat. I felt so lost, so afraid, so alone…

I looked up, looked into those two eyes that stared back at me. Who was I?

The sudden knock at the door made my heart leap in panic.

"Just a minute!" I called and wrapped my pink dressing gown tightly around myself – my long hair loose and wet. Opening the door, a crack, my expression softened at the sight of Charlie. He looked tired and drained, worried and stressed.

"Hey kiddo, just checking that you are alright. You've been in there a while." He ran a hand through his hair as he tried to ease his awkward and stiff nature.

I gave him a soft smile, threading together my courage as I hid away my pain. Leaning against the door frame I said gently, "I'm alright Charlie, I was just having a soak in the bath."

I saw his eyes look over my head to where he saw the bandages lying abandoned on the floor.

"Um." He pointed behind me, a questioning and disapproving look on his face. "Look Willa – "

"I'm alright, Charlie!" I quickly said – halting any questions he may have and showed him my hands. "See, almost good as new."

The veins in his neck twitched as he took in a gruff breath. "Bells said you were hit by car. You could have been killed." My heart melted, collapsed at the worry in his eyes – at his guilt that he couldn't stop it. "You should have been – "

"Charlie," I took his hands in mine, "I wasn't hurt too badly. I suppose I'm just lucky." Lucky…lucky to be lost, to not have my mother and father, to not know who I was…no, I was not lucky. Yet I suppose when it came to me cheating death, whatever happened inside me, whatever changed within me – I should feel lucky in that regard, feel grateful.

"Alright, well if you need me I'll leave my door open tonight so don't hesitate to shout out." He angled his body to leave and so I released his hands.

"You heal really fast, you know that right?" He said it lightly, and I had no choice but to mimic his tone.

"Call it my superpower." I told him lightly, wrapping my arms around myself – my nails secretly digging into my skin as my emotions slipped through some unsealed crack.

"Yea, anyways – sweet dreams Willa."

"Sweet dreams, Charlie." I called after him before slipping back inside the bathroom to clean the mess I had made.

When the room was neat and tidy and my hair dry and silky – I carefully tiptoed towards my door, being careful not to wake Bella nor Charlie as they slept deeply. Closing my door with a soft click, I let myself fall back against my door as I breathed in deeply.

Mama.

She had so many secrets, so many unknown tales. The reason why we travelled – to play our game of hide and seek, to hide from the monsters…Monsters. I nimbly walked over to my bookshelf and let my fingers run along the spines of fantastical and magical books until…my finger quivered against the spine of the book I searched for, longed for. It was a beautifully bound book of fairytales. My father had given this book to my mother, his writing staining the pages in beautiful and lyrical handwriting. His writing swirled and looped, circled words and connected them to others on the pages.

We carried this everywhere we went – it had been my mother's most prized possession most –

 _""_ _But if anything should ever happen to you, read and your father will guide you."_

Whatever happened to me, whatever was happening to me – it had to be in here. I pulled out the book and flipped through the pages, uncertain of what I was actually looking for. The answer to our game of hide and seek, to who the monsters were, to who my father was, to who I was…it had to be in here. I scanned all the pages in quick desperation – my eyes moving with messy speed. I needed to make my mind focus, to unravel this mystery until…

On the top of page 423 was a series of page numbers and next to them were…my eyes opened widely as a new-found purpose pulsed within me. These were page numbers corresponding with lines and how many words across. I quickly grabbed a piece of paper, holding the pen in my mouth as I flipped through the pages and wrote down the code. My hand writing was messy, and my hands shook with a mixture of fearful anticipation and need.

When the code was complete, I felt my breath stutter as I read it aloud from the center of my room.

"Once upon a time, there lived a healer."

* * *

As the sun crafted a new day into existence, I sat on the window-sill in my bedroom. I had slept little, read a little and ate a little.

Healer…

Was that what I was? And if so, then what did that comprise of?

There was a soft tap at the door before Bella gently pushed it open to reveal herself as dressed with her backpack slung over her shoulder. Today was the day of the class field-trip. It combined both Biology and Environmental Science students.

"Are you ready?" She asked in a tense manner.

I inclined my head as a gesture of yes and followed her to the car with my violin and backpack. With the ground and sky still recovering from mother nature's tears, I was dressed in a pink cloak raincoat, soft petal yellow rain boots and underneath a long-sleeve baby blue dress with a lace peter-pan collar. I braided my hair into two twin plaits that hung over both of my shoulders.

As we drove to school the sky seemed to be on the cusp of raining. The car ride was silent as we drove, and due to my lack of sleep, I couldn't help but rest my head against the window, allow my eyes to mist over, and fall asleep to the deep hum of the engine.

* * *

The morning seemed to pass in a frenetic whirlwind of people asking if we were alright. I wasn't used to so much attention, and if it weren't for Josie and Otto's light humor, I may have drawn into myself completely. I was too lost in thought from what I had read, from what had happened, but as the day went on I attempted to push them aside and allow myself to become fully immersed in my subjects.

By the time lunchtime came – I found myself walking through the halls alone, lost in my own self-created melody as I sang quietly, my fingers gently swaying to the rhythm that coursed out of me. Yet the longer I sang, the further I walked…I began to hear the soft, deep sound of a cello. The door to the music room was open – allowing whoever played that beautiful and hypnotic melody to fill the halls with their music. I felt a magnetic pull in my heart towards the door and my singing hushed. The piece was complex and intricate, each note a single bead of deep and heartbroken emotion. My feet were light on the marble floor as suddenly, I became afraid to make a sound.

Reaching the doorway, I took in a deep breath before lightly brushing my fingertips on the doorframe and positioned myself to see the magician of this magnetic, electric and hypnotic piece. My eyes widen at the sight they captured and I couldn't help but press a hand to my beating heart as tears threatened to spill over the rims of my eyes. There – in the center of the room sat Jasper – playing and consuming himself to the music he played. His eyes were closed and the way his body swayed with the cello, the way his face tightened, and pulled and relaxed and became delicate with the music…my heart swelled within me for I knew then that I had never seen something so beautiful until now.

The vulnerability on his face…it was as if all masks, all protective layers of himself had dissolved and left him with his raw self. He looked so gentle, as if he could break at a single touch, a single breeze of air.

I felt my breath hiccup – release a small sweet and high sound of complete awe that broke through his melody and drew him to a halt. His eyes snapped open and his posture straightened, yet when his eyes met mine – his expression from when he played did not change.

My lips parted, yet no words came out as I tried to work out a suitable apology. Yet before I could master my words, an airy string of words came out before I could comprehend them. "I…would you like me to leave?" I had no desire to leave, but I suppose my embarrassment of interrupting him had taken control of my voice.

He offered me a crooked smile, his body turning towards mine in his chair. "No." His smile faded as a glaze of serious and deep thought decorated his expression. "I find your presence soothing."

I took a brave step in at his words, my fingertips falling from the doorframe. "You were playing The Phantom of The Opera, weren't you?" I asked politely with deep yet cautious intrigue. I came to sit on the chair facing his, my pink cloak raincoat nosily positioning itself against the chair as I did so. I placed both of my hands in my lap – one over the other.

His eyes widened in happiness and his head inclined in acceptance "Why yes, it was Willa, how did you know?" He asked, balancing the neck of the cello against his shoulder.

"It's one of my favorite pieces to play on the violin." I confessed eagerly. "The sequence of notes…. it's just magic singing to the heart." My hand went to my heart as I spoke to him, as I told him what music meant to me and him to himself. We were open and fluid, as our words ran from each other and embraced intimately in the air between us. "How long have you played the cello for?" I asked, sitting on the edge of my seat as I smiled.

He had somehow moved closer to me, his cello now positioned beside him as our knee's grazed against each other's. "Ever since I can remember. I find it relaxing," he paused, as if searching for the word that would could close to defining his emotion. "An escape." When he spoke that word, it was as if it were a drug to him – escape, his sweet bliss and freedom.

I nodded, softening my features as my fingers played with the hem of my cloak raincoat. "I understand, music can truly be the world's greatest teleporter, protector and key to unleashing our deepest wishes, desires and needs." My voice drifted, faded as I spoke and became hypnotized by them. Yet my eyes never left his, and his never left mine – as if in that moment we were all each other had that tethered us to this world.

"My family," he began tightly, "they tend to…be over protective of me." A sense of sadness and loss decorated his expression and my hand stuttered, wanting to reach out and touch him. "And despite appreciating that and loving them…I like to be alone, to have something that is just my own." His eyes shifted down to where his hands lay – palms up on his knees. I watched quietly as his fingers folded inwards and he formed two fists – his knuckles whitening as a look of anger glimmered in his eyes. I could feel my heartbeat increase at his sudden change in mood, as I watched him fight his own emotions.

"Ever," the word came out weak and desperate, desperate to distract him from whatever thoughts ran through his mind. His eyes snapped to mine and his fingers uncurled. "Ever since I was little, I used to sneak out of school during lunch and hide away in a place no other knew about. And there, I would play my music – I would dance and sing and simply be free." The sides of his lips twitched upwards and a fondness appeared in his eyes that I had never seen before. "Have you ever played to the stars?" I asked softly, leaning forward as my breath hiccupped sweetly.

His eyebrows furrowed in bewilderment. "To the stars, I apologize but I do not understand."

"That's alright my lovely. You see I have always believed that the stars are those who have passed, that they watch over their loved ones in hopes of inspiring them through their shine. By playing to the stars, one plays to the dead." I told him gently, my finger outstretching towards his but never touching.

He then did something that I never would have excepted. His face tightened and that predator – that terrifying and weapon-like predator took over his features and body as he looked away. His hands clenched once more, but the longer I looked at him I could see that it was not just a dangerous man that sat in front of me, but one who was in great pain, feeling great shame and torment from some past memory. "If that is the case I think it might be best if I play behind a roof and walls."

I was taken off guard by his harshness of his tone and for a while I did not know how to respond. He looked in that moment as if he had killed a man and I, my fingers trembled yet I did not cower. Inhaling a sweet breath of air, I moved my chair next to his and took his hands in mine. His eyes snapped to mine, and I stared out his fury and pain – allowing it to drip from him as a softness I had previously saw in him returned. My tiny hands drowned in his as I caressed his skin with my thumbs. "Why is that? Are you afraid of the dead?" I asked delicately, keeping my eyes wide and fragile.

His voice was full of pain, of guilt and shame as his eyes adverted once more. "I'm afraid of what they'll think of me, of how they'll rightly judge me." His words were tight, sharp and strong.

"Judge you?" I shook my head in innocent confusion. Resting a delicate hand on the side of his face, I cupped his cheek, allowing my thumb to rest behind his ear. "The only way they could judge you is with a positive glow."

He turned his face away from me, as if he was afraid of seeing something within me. My hand fell to my lap like a fallen petal. "I'm afraid that's not true, unfortunately."

I shook my head once more. "I don't believe that. "I told him, each word as delicate as thin glass. "Would you," I paused, gathering my courage before I asked him my question. "Would you like to play something together? I have my violin with me."

I could feel the fear within me grow as I waited for his answer. I wet my lips lightly as I waited, as my fingers played with the hem of my cloak raincoat. His expression softened, became sweet and delicate and beautiful. "I would love that," he spoke strongly and meaningfully – the Texan twang on his words were heavy and melodic to my ears. The right corner of his mouth tugged upwards as he gave me a crooked mine. "Truly."

"Magic!" I exclaimed with a wide smile as I bent down to retrieve my violin. It was light and cool against my skin and I couldn't help but sigh in bliss as I rested my chin upon it. "Now my daring, what shall we play?"

We played music for the whole duration of lunch – getting lost in each other's own gifts, own notes and melodies and surprises. Each sound he created – we created, was mesmeric. It was as if my blood was singing, as if my heart beat twice as fast to keep in time with the music. We smiled and laughed, remained quiet and lost in one another. Our eyes remained fixed on one another – and I couldn't help but want to draw closer to him, to allow my music to caress his skin and heart as his did mine. Time slipped from us like water slipped through separated fingers. And before my mind could come to accept it, the bell rang and students began to fill the halls. Our sudden companionship seemed threatened, violated as if neither one of us wanted to be seen together by another set of eyes, as if the presence of another would crack this unspoken and misty intimacy.

We packed up in silence, stealing glances at one another. I was just about to leave when his hand grasped mine – delicate in nature but firm with purpose. My lips parted as the corners of my lips twitched up in curiosity and some heated excitement. His hand slipped out of mine, yet he took a few steps towards me – his figure drowning my shadow as he towered over me. I titled my head upwards to capture his eyes.

"Would you promise me something, Willa?" He asked in but a mere whisper.

"What is it my lovely?" I replied, my voice soft and fragile as if I was afraid someone else would hear me.

He raised his hand as if to cup my cheek – yet he did not touch me. His hand hovered inches away from my face as he spoke, as his hand trembled lightly. "To never hide from what and who you really are."

"I promise." I told him, taking a step towards him and rising on my tiptoes. "Now promise me something in return."

"Of course," he tilted his downwards, "darlin."

"That you will do the same, forever and always."

He took his time in responding, took his time to run his eyes over me as if he sought to unravel me. And then – he leaned forward, bending down to whisper in my ear - "I promise."

And before I could blink – he was gone.

* * *

The rain had not yet slipped from the clouds when we were waiting to board the buses to the greenhouse. Despite going on the same field trip as Bella, we were unable to sit next to one another due to my clumsy tardiness. I had to race to the library to return a book I had accidentally taken without checking out. And by the time I had arrived – my lungs rising and falling in a quickened manner as stray strands of hair floated in front of my eyes – Bella's bus was already full.

I had no friends in my environmental class, and so as I boarded the second bus – my eyes looked for no familiar faces. Yet they found some. At the back of the bus sat Jasper, Alice and Edward. They sat close to one another, as if their presences relieved some sort of pain. I did not meet any of their eyes as I found an empty window seat. With the drive being a long one – I pulled my legs up to my chest and retrieved the book that I had kept hidden in my bag. My hands were hesitant before they grazed the spine of my mother's book. I was afraid that someone may see it – recognize it. But when my fingertips grazed its surface – it's calling was too strong to resist. It was like my blood was humming along to the rhythm of the stories within it, singing and chanting to its secrets. My eyes misted over as I felt the books magic wriggle within me.

 _"_ _Willa."_

My eyes burst open. That voice, rich and deep, sticky like honey…

"Dad." I whispered, my eyes fearful as I pulled the book out of my bag and cradled it against my chest, my knees pressing it closer towards me, closer and tighter as my surroundings slipped away and all that was here was the book and me. My eyes closed once more as I silently begged for that voice to return, but before I could make one final plea – I felt the outside world slip away from me as my soul, as my eyes and mind and heart fell and tumbled into a world of memories – memories of a past that stained and illustrated the pages of this book.

 _He had cradled me in his arms, a prince of sunlight whose soul was tethered to life and growth and love. His arms were strong around me - around the baby I used to be. He held me tightly, as if this was the last time he would get to do and I suppose, by the look in his eyes…that it was. Two teardrops fell from his eyes and onto my baby-skin. We were in the woods, the moonlight claiming the darkened sky yet, my father's skin smelt of the sun and the warmth and grass. His eyes were a deep green and his hair – like sand moving in the breeze._

 _He sang me a song – a song whose words were kept secret by the foreign language they were in. I could feel his love for me, his need and overwhelming desire to protect me, to protect –_

 _"_ _Silas!" The voice who called my father was sweet and fragile, like a freshly picked berry coated in sugar. My father's arm relaxed around me as he turned to see my mama running towards him. She was dressed in a white dress – her hair a wild thing of curls and waves as she ran. He moved towards her, leaning against her as she threw her arms around him and allowed her fingers to play with his hair. He smelt my mama, taking pleasure in her sweet scent before she pulled away with fear in her eyes. "They're coming."_

 _My father stiffened at her words and his heart pushed against his skin as if it wanted to escape from his own body and nestle inside my mothers. My mother's hand went to his face, cupping and caressing his cheeks as her fingers got lost in his long hair. "What are we going to do?" She asked helplessly, looking down at me – the baby that Silas held in his arms, so oblivious and innocent to the world._

 _"_ _Flora," his voice broke as did his heart at her expression. Placing me on the soft grass, he stood fully before my mama. He was strong, a warrior prince whose eyes had a fearless spirit within them. Yet around my mama – he took her in his arms, kissing her soft lips in slow and succulent motions. He savored every moment, every touch of her fingers against his shoulders, arms and chest – just as she did him. "My beautiful heart." He called her, pulling away to place a lingering kiss on her forehead. "I want you to take Willa, to run as far as you can and don't look back."_

 _"_ _No, no I can't I –" tears streamed down her cheeks as she pulled him close to her, resting her head against his chest. "I can't let you. They'll kill you." My father placed a gentle finger underneath her cheek – guiding her head upwards for their eyes to meet._

 _"_ _I won't let them hurt you, I won't let them hurt Willa. If they find you – they'll drain both of you dry, or keep you as their slaves, their blood banks." Venom laced his words as anger consumed him whole. "I made you a promise, I will not break it."_

 _"_ _There has to be another way." My mama pleaded him as he held her in his arms, his hands running through her hair. "There has to be."_

 _"_ _Have faith in me my love, I may survive." His words brought hope to her as she stepped away from him, his hands taking her face in the most gentle and fragile of manners. "I will buy you and Willa as much time as you need to cross the border. No matter what you hear, no matter what you see, keep running. Know that I am with you always my darling, my mate, my song and heartbeat." His words melted into a kiss as he pressed his lips to hers once more. The kiss was soft and beautiful – like melting chocolate as his arms wrapped around her tiny frame. They were born to be together, made for one another._

 _Pulling away, his lips lingered against hers before he picked me up from the grass, holding me tightly as he placed a kiss on my forehead. "You will make a great healer my angel, my Willa. Do our species proud, do me, your mother and the stars proud." With a final kiss, he placed me in my mama's arms – her face wet with tears as her body convulsed lightly as she cried._

 _"_ _I love you." She cried ungracefully as he pulled my mother and I towards him._

 _"_ _I love you." And with a final kiss to her lips – he ran._

The memory blurred into shifting blue and red mist as screams and cries and pleas filled the air. They were screams of suffering, of pain and anger and desperation – of grief. My eyes slowly opened, and I had not realized that I too had been crying – my breathing was fast and deep, as if there was not enough oxygen in the world for me to breathe.

Healer.

For the rest of the ride I searched the book for its meaning, for memories and hidden messages. My eyes, my mind and heart could not read fast enough, just as the oxygen flowing through me could not keep up with my lungs demands. My mother had told me my father was killed from a mosquito born virus.

No.

Tears, silent and fluid, ran from me as I suddenly realized the truth behind the lies. My father…he was murdered. Murdered for something he, something we had.

 _"_ _They'll drain both of you dry, or keep you as their slaves, their blood banks."_

" _Do our species proud."_

What was I. But deep down I knew…

I was not a human.

No.

I was a healer.

Healer. What did that mean…and if there are healers then that means that other creatures must exist as well. I looked and searched through the book, until I found another code to untangle. I did the same as before, finding words on different pages, finding pictures until I had my answer. I knew what I was, I knew the blood that swam inside me, and I now knew that there were creatures after it. For a healer is not just gifted with the ability to heal others in various ways, whether that be medically or spiritually…. But we also had charmed blood. Blood that if consumed by others could heal all their wounds and for some – bring the dead back to life. Our blood, once our gift was awakened, would deem us immortal. For our blood could not only heal others, but also ourselves…

The book fell to the floor as everything else in the whole universe went silent. My eyes were wide with fear, uncertainly and shock. Had my whole life been a lie…my skin became itchy, heavy as if it was no longer my own. I tried to blink, tried to move and think and wonder. But I couldn't. I felt paralyzed. Every bone, every heartbeat and breathe I took…the seat that I sat on. Was this real? Was this but a dream?

No.

The bus lurched to a stop to signal our arrival. I felt afraid as I stood, as I walked off the bus with the other students. My arms were wrapped around me tightly – the book pulsing in my bag as I carried it on my back. I felt alone, afraid, no – petrified, but at the same time…mystified. My emotions were both fearful and excited, both cautious and intrigued and I suddenly felt as if I was suffocating. I needed a minute, some time away from all the students, teachers and my Bella. I stood still as the students walked past me to the greenhouse. My eyes remained fixed forward and I dropped my arms to my sides. Nearly everyone had walked passed me when suddenly, a hand brushed mine in a purposeful and secretive manner. The skin was cool and as I looked up, Jasper's eyes met mine. His eyes were full of questions, of concern and care but he did not stop walking. His touch was fleeting as was his gaze upon me. And before another second could pass, he had walked away with Alice and Edward.

Watching the class leave, I then turned my back on them and walked towards the forest – my feet soft against the ground as my walk turned into a jog and then into a run. I ran, ran faster than I ever had before as the need for escapism, for isolation and clarity of thought drove me. Memories of my mother and father pulsed through me, thoughts of what I was…who I am now…I needed to feel the wind, to feel the ground beneath my feet, to feel alive and one with the earth. My hair waved behind me like feathers in the wind, the wind rushing into my lungs, into my body and consuming me whole. I felt free, and in that moment, it didn't matter who I was. All that mattered was the wind and the earth and…. I skidded to a stop, reaching a cliff's edge that plunged down into the deep ocean below.

A part of me wanted to jump, to see if I really was a healer – if I could survive, if I was immortal. I began to take a few steps forward, the tips of my toes curling in my yellow rain boots as I reached the edge. I could feel the wind pushing me forward, and my fingers separated as I let the breeze flow between them. I needed to know, needed to feel my healers blood in me – to understand this mythical notion.

Jump.

A gust of wind suddenly pushed me back and I fell to the ground – my hands scrapping open against the dirt and rocks and roots. Everything that I knew the world to be…everything that I knew the past to be…it was all a lie. I had never felt so afraid, so alone as I wished, as I begged for my mama and papa, for someone to help me, to hold me and say everything was alright. My nails dug into the ground as I let out a raw sob and cried – my emotions over spilling as my body shook and quivered – as I cried in the forest against the dirt and insects and fallen leaves.

* * *

By the time I had returned to class – no one had noticed my absence. I followed the line of students through the greenhouse, my heart beating heavy and strong as I recovered from my flood of tears. I felt stronger, felt sure and alive and hypnotized by this enigma that was now me…that was my past and world around me. I spotted my cousin ahead of me, talking to Edward. Her features were pulled tight as if she was stressed talking to him. He had stopped the van – was he a creature? And if so, was he a monster, or a something like me?

When we exited the greenhouse, and finished listening to the lecture, I couldn't help but look at everyone different, but no one else seemed different except…

That hand brushed against mine once more, his pinky entwining with mine in such an endearing and intimate manner that caused my heart to blush and flutter and gasp. I suddenly felt a piece of paper in my palm and his touch left mine as he walked towards the bus with Alice. I could see Edward talking to Bella, and I knew in my heart that I suddenly felt more protective over her.

Not wanting to disturb her, I slowly opened the piece of paper that Jasper had placed in my hand. His writing was neat and elegant, lyrical and mesmeric.

 _Darlin' Willa,_

 _I hope you don't mind me writing to you but I was wondering if I could call on you? Would you like to play music in the forest tonight? I'll be waiting at 10 o'clock by the waterfall._

 _I promise to keep you safe._

 _Jasper_

* * *

The rest of the day slipped by like a wet block of soap against a tile. Bella told me about her confrontation with Edward, about how she could feel and sense regret in him. But I couldn't believe that. Whatever was driving Edward to be distant and cold with my cousin couldn't be regret – it had to be much more complex. When we arrived home, I cooked us some dinner, the smell of ratatouille floating through the house. I couldn't help but close my eyes and sigh with a sweet smile as the aroma tickled my nostrils. I loved food, the way it made my mouth water and my nose beg for me to taste it. It was intoxicating. Opening my eyes, I ran my finger across the sauce and sucked my finger dry, savoring each sweet flavor before serving up three portions and resting them on the table for us to eat.

Once dinner was over, I waited in my room until the clock struck 9:30. I had been sitting on the floor, reading and researching everything I could about Healers. We were perceived as a mythical legend, a race of gods and godness that were tethered to this earth to heal it, to protect it. We were the sunshine of this world, the light and blossoming spring and summer. I couldn't help but roll my shoulders back, close my eyes over and sigh as I pressed two fingers to the pulse in my neck and listened – listened to my healer's heartbeat and the blood that coursed through my veins.

Blood.

It was both sweet and dangerous – it was hunted. Opening my eyes, I had continued to read and research. I discovered that our blood could heal others from wounds that were incurable by mortal medicine, that our blood could heal our own bodies and protect us from death. Once activated, through a near death experience, our blood would keep us young – would freeze us in time as we served mortals and immortals alike – creatures and humans in a secretive fashion. Yet – we could still die. If all of our blood was drained from us, we had no way to heal – no life to give others or ourselves.

Papa.

He was murdered for his blood.

I closed the book shut with quivering hands at what I had just discovered. My body shook, trembled as I pulled my knees up to my chest and hid from the dancing moonlight that flittered across my room. I let my head drop, fall against my knees as I tried to make sense of all of this. My finger nails – painted a pastel pink, dug into my legs as I held them tightly against me. I couldn't go to Bella, couldn't go to anyone but the stars and that faint whisper in the wind. I had never felt so alone, so lost but…I knew I couldn't let anyone see, I couldn't let anyone know this secret. My hands went to my hair and clawed inwards as I quivered. Was this real? I suddenly doubted my own sanity but no, this had to be real – this was real.

When the clock chimed 9:30, a strange sense of relief and need pulsed within me, a need to taste the nighttime air and fall into world were this was but a distant memory, a fact that I could ignore and forget. I dressed in a simple white dress, it's hem brushing against my bare legs. The dress was a summer one – the sleeves a sheer white with delicate white roses embroidered in it. I needed to feel the frost, to allow it to calm my burning heart and boiling blood – to let it melt away all fear, all worries and uncertainty. Upon my feet were my yellow rain boots.

I slung my violin case over my shoulder and began to hum a beautiful and delicate tune – my fingers dancing at my sides as I walked through the silent house to ensure that everyone was asleep. The hallways were dark, haunted by dreams and nightmares that pounded and danced in Bella and Charlies minds. My footsteps were light and nimble as I padded across the house – singing sweetly as my humming melted into a lullaby crafted from love, starlight and the promise of hope. My heartbeat softened knowing that they were in peace – and with one final breath, I left the house and took off into a run towards the forest – towards Jasper and the stars.

* * *

 **Authors Note: Hi again! So there you have it! The next chapter will be mainly focusing on Jasper and Willa progress and there will be a lot more action and discovery! I hope you don't mind the longer chapter and I really can't wait to see what you think! Please be gentle and until next time, happy reading!**

 **GawkyTC:Hi! As per usual your review literally made my day! I'm so so happy that you thought those things and I can't wait to see what you think of this chapter! The next one will have a lot of Jasper/Willa interaction so you have heaps to look forward too! Much Love, Lisette**

 **ArsenicAssassin: Thank you so much, that is truly so sweet of you to say. I always get so afraid before I post a new chapter so to hear you say that truly makes my heart blossom with happiness. I hope you enjoy this chapter and I can't wait to see what you think!**

 **Littlecosma001: Hi! Oh no! I think you may need to reread it, or I could have been more clear, I'm sorry! So what happened is that Willa got hit by the car and was very close to death with broken bones and all. However she suddenly healed herself and that is what this chapter more focused on because she isn't human. So she'll go on this huge journey about discovering her roots and all! And as you can guess from the end of this chapter, (without giving away spoilers) she won't become a vampire. Which will make her and Jasper's relationship very interesting I hope! I can't wait to see what you think of this chapter!**

 **Snow Black:N'aww thank you so much! That is truly so sweet of you to say and goodness, you guessed it! She is a healer! But she has a lot to learn yet and a lot of journeys to experience and work out! I hope you like this chapter and the next chapter will be very Jasper/Willa heavy focus! Much Love, Lisette**

 **AmberinAshes: Hiya! i hope you enjoyed this chapter and I can't wait to see what you think!**

 **JessEwa26: Hello Jess! Thank you so much for your review. What you wrote truly made me so happy! I hope you enjoyed this chapter although there weren't many Jasper/Willa moments. The next chapter will focus on them a lot so except a lot of cute moments! If you have any scenes or dreams that you would like to see happen between Jasper and Willa then please let me know! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I can't wait to hear what you think of it! Much Love, Lisette! :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Authors Note: Hello everyone! Thank you so so much to all of you beautiful people who have reviewed, followed, favorited and simply read this story! It makes me so overwhelmed with joy to see all of your gorgeous reactions and just knowing that there are people out there who are reading this story! I'm turning 19 tomorrow and I thought that as my birthday gift to ya'll, I would post this chapter! It sets up for the rest of the story so I suppose is a little of a filler/ time passing chapter but a lot happens and I can't wait to see what everyone thinks! I'll leave another authors note and review responses down below! Until then, happy reading! :)**

The darkness was soft – quiet and mysterious as it hypnotized both sleepwalkers and nighttime lovers alike. I could feel it's blueness caress my skin – feel the shadows whisper amongst the breeze as they became free to waltz. It was peaceful, tranquil in that beautiful way that only the night can truly be. My feet were light and nimble against the damp gravel of the abandoned roads as I slowed my run into a lazy stroll.

I had never been afraid of the darkness. It was as if my heart was bound to it, crafted from it in some strange way that made me it's protector – it's healer. The forest framed the road that I walked on, and I couldn't help but sing amongst the birds, the insects and the creatures of the night. I could feel the star's gaze on me as I walked, as I forgot and ignored what I had just been through. For right now there was no such thing as healers and monsters, no such things as books and hidden secrets. There was just the ground I walked on, the sweet melody of the trees and me.

No – not just me.

Hearing an irregular snap of a stray fallen twig, I stopped walking – my senses straining to hear and see the source of that sound. It had broken the night's sweet lullaby, snapped the it's tranquility as a sudden unwelcoming chill crept and slithered through the trees. I felt a small itch at the back of my neck, as I slowly turned – talking in my surroundings as my breath and heartbeat quickened. My arms wrapped tightly around me as fear scuttled up my bones and fizzed in my blood. It was if all the warmth and love had been sucked out of the air, and all that was left was the claws of the wet, clinging cold. I wanted to run, to listen to my hearts warning but I couldn't. I was paralyzed – paralyzed with terror and –

A hand clamped over my mouth, muffling my scream as I was violently jerked backwards into the chest of a stranger. I felt my body go limp as my fingers clawed at the arm, at the hand and skin of my attacker. My heart beat thunderously inside me as tears spilled over my cheeks. I knew I needed to remain calm, to remain strong and steady and clear and – I was shoved roughly onto the floor. The ground scrapping my knees open as blood gushed from them. I quivered and shook and trembled and squeezed my eyes shut as I wished and prayed on the stars and myself. I needed to be calm, to be – my attacker grabbed my hair and yanked me– a raw cry shattering through my throat as he dragged me along the vicious ground before jerking me upwards to see his face. His hand grabbed my face – his fingers squeezing both of my cheeks as his nails dug into my soft flesh. I wanted to say please, to beg and plead him to let me go but I couldn't. His grip was too tight as it mushed my lips together and his eyes – a soulless sad dirty blue. I struggled to stand on my feet, to stop my shaking and shivering and gushing tears and no – no. I squeezed my eyes shut, as I begged myself to be calm. I didn't know how to fight, I didn't know, I couldn't –

"Now, what's a little girl like you doing out in the dark all alone?" My nose crinkled as his venomous words reeked of cheap alcohol and Tabaco. His eyes held this glazed wildness to them, as if he was not in control of himself but instead some intoxicated puppet that danced to his own demons. My eyes were wide as I tried to leak some innocence, some light and good and sweetness into him. My fingers relaxed against his arms – calm. I had to be calm, to be gentle and weep my fragility into his lost soul. For there had to be some good in him, some grain of light that was drowned by grief, or hatred or anger or pain – whatever drove him to become this way. I slowly caressed my fingers over his arms. His skin was rough and hairy, dirty as I felt dry flakes of skin underneath my fingertips. I couldn't help but feel my heart burn in sadness – at what life he must have lived to drive him to this.

I felt his hand relax against my face, his nails no longer clawing at my skin yet his eyes – his eyes still held that same dangerous emptiness.

"Please, please let me go." I whispered softly, making sure to keep my eyes and features delicate and relaxed. Please, I begged silently to the stars and moon and darkness, please give me courage, please help me, help him. I could feel the blood from my knees dribble down my legs and into my yellow rain boots. "Please."

His features twisted violently as a sinister grin pinched his mouth upwards. "Alright lassie, I'll let you go." His fingers peeled off from my wet cheeks and I watched cautiously as he took a step backwards. I stumbled lightly as I regained my footing, - the blood becoming a small puddle in my boots. "See, "I've let you go. But that don't mean I can't touch you." Before I could comprehend the meaning behind his words – he swung a strong, well-practiced punch right into the side my face. Blood squirted out of my mouth as I fell to the floor, my hands helplessly clawing at the gravel as I tried to control my pain. I was healer. Why wasn't I healing? Panic shackled me as my lips parted in cold shock and a forceful kick slammed against ribs. I cried out a raw and crackling scream. Please, please, please! I couldn't close my eyes, I couldn't move, I couldn't be calm I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't…he crouched down over me and grasped the fraying collar of my white dress – the threads pulling and straining as he pulled my head of the ground. My eyes were wide with fear now and I knew he was enjoying it, as if my fear were a drug that he grew strength and encouragement from. There was no use being gentle with him, no use trying to find that grain of light.

He leaned in close, his nose pressing forcefully against mine as our eyes melted into one another – one light and one dark, one fragile and one stone. "Scream for me." He hissed before a figure slammed into him.

I watched with wide and frantic eyes as two figures rolled and weaved across the gravel in a whirlwind of anger, revenge and hatred. They looked like spiralling smoke through my hazy eyes as screams and grunts and growls rolled through the air. Fearful curiosity prickled in my blood as I clumsily got to my feet – my body hunched over as I pressed a hand to my ribs. They were broken – pressing against my skin in a jagged way. My pain suffocated me, blinded me as I fell to the floor once more and clawed at the ground. I buried my face against it's cool surface and cried, gasped and screamed in both agony and frustration.

Heal. Please, please, please. I looked up at the stars, and allowed their shine and glow and promise of safety to drown me as the screams and horrors and rips and crashes faded away. I could feel my blood fizz once more, separate into small working butterflies that flew and fluttered across my ribs. I gasped loudly, letting sweet and rich air fill my lungs. I became hypnotized by the magic my own body was performing. I looked to my legs and hands and arms where I could see my wounds closing with some invisible thread. Heal – I was healing.

A scream louder than all the others shook me out of my mesmeric trance as the cold reality washed over me and the cool wet slipperiness of the night returned. A rough thump echoed from behind me and I turned around on the floor to see my attacker. His face was smeared in blood, in fear and terror as he frantically shuffled away from whoever was coming towards him.

A low growl rumbled through my veins as I looked up to see the source of that sound, the source of my saviour and bringer of terror. Yet when I looked behind me, when I looked up and into the eyes of my rescuer – I never expected to see Jasper. His eyes were black as a snarl pulled at his features. Danger rolled off him in violent waves and in that moment, I was not sure if I should run or stay. I had never seen someone so frightening in my life, someone so capable of murder and torture and brining the demons up to dance. His hands were clenched as his hair swayed across his eyes. His white shirt was ripped, the sleeves pulled up to expose his strong and well-muscled forearms.

My throat clotted as I was unable to speak, unable to untangle my thoughts and emotions as he suddenly began to walk towards my attacker with a predator's purpose. I felt afraid of him and I knew I should run, should run and hide and wish upon the stars, but when my eyes met his, when I saw his heartbeat inside them –

I clumsily got to my feet and with one gentle and fluid motion, I intercepted him – my tiny hands cupping and caressing both of his cheeks as my thumbs hid behind his ears. I felt him tremble, felt him crack and break as violent anger drained from his eyes and into mine.

"Look at me," I whispered, begged him as we both quivered in this heated mixture of intimate fear, anger and desperation. "Come back," my eyes were wide as I spoke, as I ran my fingers through his hair and leaked all my courage and strength and fragility into him. "Come back to me my darling enigma," I went up on my tiptoes and pressed a delicate kiss on his cheek. His skin was cold. I pressed my lips against his cheek once more, closing my eyes as they lingered there – lingered whilst stray tears fell from my eyes and I whispered one final world in his ear. "Please."

I felt him relax against me in defeat, felt his hands bunch the fabric of my white dress as I wrapped my arms around his neck and held him gently. My heat beat thunderously inside me, as if it wanted to escape…as if it wanted to burst through my ribcage and skin and clothing and coil up inside him. There was such violence in him, such untamed pain and in the strangest of ways…it made me want to be closer to him, to discover and heal and care for him. He has saved me – this beautiful, fragile and extraordinary man had saved me. I squeezed my eyes closed as I tried to understand my emotions as I held him, as he held me and my attacker's gasps and pants became a mere echo in the distance. I felt angry at him, upset that he would be so violent yet…that anger was diluted by my overwhelming care and blooming emotion for him, for how this was so much deeper than just saving me. Seeing the effect that this had on him…

Pulling away, my hair clung to his clothing as if it didn't want to be separated from him. His scent lingered in my nostrils as our eyes danced over one another. He looked shattered and I…I forgot about my own experience as suddenly all that mattered was him. His hands lingered on my waist as he crushed the fabric in his hands.

My hand went to rest on his cheek – my touch as delicate as a fallen petal floating on a river. "Wait here for me my lovely, promise me." He didn't reply as I took a step away from him, his touch a ghost lingering on my skin as I turned my back on him and walked towards my attacker. He was lying on the floor, watching us with wide panicked eyes who's anger and lust seemed to have shattered. He looked like a broken man in that moment and despite knowing I shouldn't care…I did. Crouching down next to him, I surrendered to my own naivety and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. He flinched away from me as if I had stung him. My hand stuttered before resting on my healed knee.

"You asked me to scream for you." I whispered, not breaking my eyes from his. "You hurt me and intended the worst for me. You're not safe, not for me, for others or yourself. I'm not going to hurt you," I soothed, "I'm going to help you."

Standing, I looked behind me to see Jasper. He looked tense, afraid and dangerous but… he kept his promise. We had to take my attacker to the police station but I feared about Charlie finding out, feared his worry and possibility of imprisoning me in a cage. Taking a deep breath, I asked Jasper a favor. I asked him to take this man to the police station and I would meet him in a safer place, a place where we could talk and bare one another's soul to the other without fear. For after everything…despite my growing fear towards him I, I needed him. It frightened me. That despite seeing Jasper's violent outburst no matter his intentions that instead of running, I wanted to be closer to him and, when we parted ways – I felt that absence, felt my sense of security and calm fade away as I suddenly became victim to a night I did not know.

* * *

The place I had chosen was a place I had kept locked in my heart – a secret that belonged to me and me alone since…the abandoned stable was hidden in the forest, like an enchanted house in a fairytale wood. It looked the same since I last saw it. The wood, a weeping brown, was decorated in protective vines, twigs and leaves – hidden and safe, a secret that belonged to me, belonged to my mother and father. Mama had taken me here when I was young. We would sneak out during the night, chasing one another until we reached this safe haven. We would sleep here, tell each other stories and get lost in our own untouched world.

I pressed my palm against the creaking wood, the smell – thick of old rain, lost memories and books. This was where my mama and papa became engaged.

The door opened with a stubbornness that required force and I knew then, that this door had not been opened in a long time. It was dark inside, hay scattering the floor as well as remnants of a sweet and innocent past. I felt my heart slow within me, felt my blood thicken and steady as I took in the room. I was afraid to enter, to feel that familiar air coating my skin without my…I hadn't been in here without her, hadn't visited this place since…

I stepped out of my rainboots before entering – my toes curling against the grass and the dirt and the rusty leaves. A gently breeze pushed me forward, and I couldn't help but wonder if it was conjured by the stars. My eyes flicked upwards to them before I entered, flicked up to search for my mama and my papa. Together, safe – they were now safe. And with no more thoughts or hesitance, I took my first step into what used to be our solace when we visited Forks.

The hay was cold against my feet, stiff from age and abandonment as I walked lightly over them. Moonlight flickered in from the cracks in the ceiling as suddenly…I felt as if I was no longer alone, no longer in danger. Everything was familiar once more. My fingers ran over the wooden wall as I walked, as my eyes found something strange hidden beneath the hay. I stopped, my fingers quivering with intrigue as I took in a sweet breath of air before bending down and retrieving whatever was hidden.

My fingertips grazed the hidden object – it was light, soft and delicate as I pulled it out. They were pages, covered in droplets of blood and hard from years of enduring the rain. The writing was smudged but…when my hand, coated in blood that had crusted over my skin…. when my hand touched those blood droplets it was as if the blurred words didn't matter. Because it wasn't the words that were important, no – it was the blood. Everything seemed to come back to blood, yet before I could ponder on that thought…. the strangest thing happened.

My breath started to stutter out in loud panicked gasps as my mind, as my eyes…it's like they suddenly weren't my own, like I was falling and fading and disappearing into memories and thoughts and emotions that weren't my own. I collapsed to the ground, my hands gripping the hay as my eyes misted over and surrendered to whatever magic claimed and enslaved my mind.

 _The stables were broken through shafts of moonlight that filtered through the gaps in the wooden roof. She stood there, my mama – her feet light against the hay that scattered the floors. She was nervous, biting her nails as she waited and hoped and dreamed. She was dressed in her nightgown, it's light blueness spilling around her like tropical water. She was young, unwed but…her fingers went to ring finger. How she desired a ring to decorated it, to seal the promise between her and Silas that her heart had already made. He should have been here by now, he should have –_

 _"Flora." His voice was sweet and hushed, broken through his deep breathing as he recovered from running here. Her eyes widened with relief at the sight of him, as her untamed and wild innocence bleed from her eyes and into his. But no smile pulled at her lips, for worry had a strong grip on her bones, veins and beating heart. She ran to him, tossing her arms around him in desperation to know and feel that he was alive. Silas's arms wrapped her, lifting her from the ground and twirling her around as he placed a single hand on the back of her head, nuzzling his nose against her cheek as he sought her scent and breath upon his flesh._

 _Pulling away, he placed Flora down and searched her over with his eyes to make sure she was alright, that she was not harmed. Flora's fingers danced along his cheek, following the lines of the scars that painted his skin. His whole body was decorated with them – a living walking portrait of torture and suffering and victory as he, despite his past…was alive._

 _"I thought you may have been killed, there were whispers, amongst the other healers," Flora whispered with great haste and clumsy urgency and worry. "Whispers that you had been killed or captured or…" A sob clotted in her throat as she tried to push back her tears. "You're here." He nodded in response, too overcome and afraid with what he was about to say. His body became stiff as he remembered his purpose of being here and Flora, in her knowing way…could see one of her greatest fears glimmer in his eyes. "You're here to leave me aren't you." She said, taking a shaky step away from him, "to say goodbye."_

 _"I-" his voice was strong, forced but…strong. He knew what he needed to say and knew that it was because he loved her. "I have to. This isn't fair on you, for you to be with someone who doesn't…" he paused, knowing his words were a lie, a forced lie that he said to make her hate him. He needed her to hate him. "Who doesn't love you."_

 _She shook her head, seeing through his misty lie. "Don't lie to me my angel, you know you will never be able to do so successfully." She walked back towards him, stroking his face as she tried to leak some sense into him. "Why are you saying these things?"_

 _"Because if you marry me, you'll be an outcast, you'll be hunted – our child would be because of who I am. Because of who I was." She shook her head, refusing to believe his words, refusing to care._

 _"That doesn't matter to me. I'd rather be an outcast than a slave to ancient rules. I love you for what you are, for what you were and everything that that entails. You're my beautiful healer, my warrior, my soulmate, my truelove, my melody." She needed him to hear her words, to hear her heartbeat and soul's pulse for despite the fire that she knew would consume them both if she made this decision…her selfish heart could not let him go._

 _"We would be running, for the rest of our lives. I can't let you have that life." He needed her to understand, to support him in this because he knew in his heart that he couldn't protect her forever. For he wasn't just any healer…no – he was a slave, a branded prisoner from birth to a coven of monsters. His parents had been slaves, belonged to this family of monsters when he was born. His birth declared him a child of his parent's masters. They raised him, brainwashed him until one day…when he witnessed his parent's deaths…murders, he escaped and ran. Ran for his life and his life alone. He never wanted to burden another with his curse. He was constantly hunted, constantly running with a death sign violently nailed into his back._

 _"I don't think that's your choice to make my darling." Flora said with a sweet sadness as she took both of his hands in hers. "Don't I get a say?"_

 _He shook his head in frustration. "Of course you do but –"_

 _"Then what I say is this," her fingers tightened against his as her thumbs caressed the backs of his hands. "I love you. I loved you from the moment I saw you, from the moment those sparkling eyes held me in your loving embrace. You are different, unique and rare and my heart is tethered to yours in a bond that cannot be broken." She spoke strongly, from her heart and soul. Taking a deep breath, she said, "marry me."_

 _Silas's eyes widened with shock and fear. He wanted to marry her with every grain and atom that bonded him. His healers blood sang for her, rippled with desire as he wished to speak one and only one word in return. Yet he was afraid, for he knew what this meant – his knew the life this would give her, the danger…and it would be all his fault. But as he looked into those big brown eyes of hers, as his skin melted into hers…he knew in that moment that they were doomed to the fire that would flare and consume them in unchallengeable love and eventual death. He belonged to her, heart, soul and mind and no matter how hard he tried in the past and present…he couldn't rid himself of her._

 _Taking her face in his hands, he waited…waited one more moment for he knew that when he spoke his answer…they would forever be sealed and bound to one another. He wished on the stars that night, wished on the moon and the dead and the living – wished for peace and solace, for safety and tenderness._

 _"Yes," he told her with one of those rare looks that told her he would make any promise to her and never break it. "Yes, my shining star, I will marry you."_

The vision blurred, twisted and burst into smoke, fog and mist. I was once again alone in the stables, quivering as I uncoiled my hand from the hay and pages. It was as if I was inside them, inside both my mother and father as they made that promise to one another. I felt every one of their emotions, everyone of their thoughts, needs and desires and I….I felt wrong, as if I had violated them and the moment that changed their lives forever. My heart felt different after seeing that…as if a new-found vengefulness blossomed and festered within me simultaneously. Monsters…it all came back to them. They had murdered my father, destroyed their lives and my mother…I let my face drop into my hands as I let out a tight scream. My whole world had fractured and cracked and I didn't know how to handle it. Everything I thought I knew was a lie, this whole world, who I am. I felt a bitter and poisonous anger rise up in me, a feeling that I had never felt before. It was dark and dangerous and I knew I had to get control of myself. But despite my heavy breathing and feeble attempt to restrain what I was feeling, what I felt towards those monsters…. I hated them.

And in that moment, that moment of accepting my hatred…I cracked and crumbled to its wrath. I felt its darkness poison my blood as I let out another scream. But this was one was raw, raw and painful as it projected every shard of suffering, pain and anger and hatred. It blinded me, consumed me as I dug my nails into my scalp and tossed and broke and smashed everything I could. I couldn't see, there was just blood and pain and it wouldn't go away. My body stuttered with deep sobs and cries and screams as I sought to destroy everything in the room. I was so lost, so angry and in pain and –

Just as I grabbed an empty milk bottle to shatter on the floor, Jasper grasped my wrist as my heart crumbled into his eyes. He was here, I wasn't alone, I was safe, I was, I am….I fell into his arms, crying and clinging to the crisp fabric of his white shirt. I couldn't hold my own weight as I collapsed against him and he held me up, pulling me against him as he cradled me against his body, as our hearts and souls intertwined in this shattering intimacy. I needed to feel him, to smell his scent and bury myself in him. I wanted it all to go away, for this new complex and dark world to fade away as if it were all but a dream. I could feel his hands in my hair, his fingers running through it as he whispered soothing words in my ear. But I didn't hear him, my thoughts were too loud, that memory that shouldn't be mine to carry screamed at me in my mind. I wanted them to be quiet, to forget and fall into that mysterious abyss. I trembled in his arms, clung to him as if he were the only thing keeping me grounded in this universe. But no, this wasn't fair on him…not after everything, not after how little time we spent together I…

Pulling away, I walked towards the wooden wall and rested my back against it as we stared at one another. I felt naked, as if I had violated both him and myself. "I, I'm sorry." I stuttered out softly, trying to ease my tears and reclaim my voice. But it was as quiet as a mouse and as fragile as thin ice. "I'm so sorry." My nose burned as tears threatened to spill once more. No, I had to be calm, I had to get under control. "I shouldn't have done that I –"

"Willa –" he took a hesitate step towards me, his eyes and face drowning in concern and a gentle need to protect. "It's alright, I won't let anything happen to you. I promise." He outstretched his hand towards me. It was steady and calm as if he were trying to leak an emotion into me. But I didn't feel calm, I felt lost, and afraid and angry and desperate. I looked at his hand, how large and strong and fierce it truly was. It was as if it held the promise of protection, of great safety and love and destruction to anyone who threatens that.

"You saved me." I whispered, still looking at his hand as if were some hypnotic device.

"I made a promise darlin, to keep you safe" he replied, keeping his hand outstretched yet caution now coated his words. Not because of me and what I could do, but because he didn't want to hurt me. He promised to keep me safe and I suppose…he did.

"I feel so angry, like some dark poison has burst within me and it won't go away." I shifted my eyes from his hand to his eyes as my heart controlled my mouth. "I've never felt so much hatred before, so much pain and…, I don't know…I can't…" I wanted to fall to the floor, to curl up like some lost puppy and hope that someone would look after me and tell me everything was alright. But I knew I couldn't do that. I had to be strong, I had to suppress these emotions and not let anyone see or know or –

"Don't hide it." Jasper whispered, taking a step towards me. "Don't ever hide those emotions Willa."

I shook my head, swallowing back my tears. "Emotions make you weak. I can't be seen as weak, not to Bella, not to anyone I…I have to be strong, I've always been strong."

"Emotions make you strong Willa. Knowing them and feeling and showing them, they are what makes a person strong." Jasper's words pinched my heart, as if I suddenly had permission to fall into his arms as a crumbled broken thing.

"But what if I'm not a person? What if I'm not…human." Jasper's eyes crinkled in bewilderment and confusion at my words but it didn't last for long. A new-found confidence claimed him as he strode towards me and cupped my cheeks, whipping away my tears with his thumbs.

"It doesn't matter what you are, Willa, all that matters is who." His touch was strong, desperate as if he was trying to grasp some loose thread to pull me back from wherever I was fading to. "You are you, Willa Fawn. You're mind, your soul and heart – you," he pressed his forehead against mine as his eyes bore into me. "You are perfect." My heart, suddenly and forcefully, calmed. My shaking, my tears…they stopped. "Perfect."

I pulled away from him silently, "aren't –" I swallowed deeply as a new wave of emotions flooded out the dark. "Aren't you curious as to what I meant by not human?" A new thought burst in my mind and I needed to know. Was he like me?

He paused before answering, as he tried to thread and weave together his words in a careful and beautiful way. "I, of course I am curious. But not surprised as the world is full of things we have yet to discover. You reminded me of that. That no matter how many years we have lived, there are always new things to see and discover. But it is not my place to ask you." I could tell he wanted to say more, that words struggled on his lips to get free but…he remained quiet, timid all of a sudden. But whatever he was going to say, he was right, it was not my place to ask.

Yet instead a new question escaped my lips. "Will you, could you stay with me tonight?" My voice was weak and fragile as the night breeze. He at looked me, tenderly and with great softness.

And after taking a single step towards me, he spoke three words that sealed our companionship. "As you wish."

* * *

The following month passed in a whirlwind of secretive investigation, discovery and intimacy. The night I had been attacked, he stayed with me, lay with me underneath the stars as we searched, found and created new constellations. We talked, sang, danced and played music into the night. Time slipped through our fingers as it became a forgotten concept. We had not slept a single wink, had not acknowledge tiredness or reality.

It was just him and I, Jasper and Willa.

We shared stories of our past, played music for one another and danced – danced as one as we drifted like fireflies in the moonlight. When the sun blossomed into existence, no panic consumed us…just laughter and amusement and wonder at how we had forgotten everything else in this world but each other. He walked me home, watched me climb up the vines and into my room safely. I had told him to wait once I was in my room. I quietly padded over to the paste pink roses on my dresser and plucked a single one from the glass vase before returning to the window. And when I captured sight of him, dressed in his white shirt and dark jeans, his hands knotted behind his back as he looked up through his eyelashes and hair…he looked like one of those soldiers from those books or movies, one of those soldiers secretly courting the girl of his choice. I gave him a small smile before dropping the rose down to him – remaining speechless as I did so, and as he caught it.

It fell neatly into his hands. I watched him analyze it, cradle it as it was something he had never seen before. His touch was delicate as his fingers ran over the rose's petals, as he brought it up to his nose to smell. He inhaled deeply, savoring each scent that drifted up his nostrils in some lyrical and poetic way. His eyes drifted up to meet mine and it was in that gaze that I knew everything would be alright, no matter what happened or what the future, past or present held…everything would be alright.

* * *

The days that past during the month were both magnetic, electric, intriguing and terrifying. I learnt so much about who I was…who I was meant to be. The night after the attack, I had ventured back into the woods. Searching and feeling for something, someone who needed me. I knew I could heal myself, but others…I needed to see it, needed to believe it. I wasn't sure how long I had been walking before I stumbled across another deer. She was covered in moon shaped bites, her breath weak as she clung on to life by a feather.

I fell to my knees, my hands trembling as I looked over this beautiful creature. Her attack had been violent and ruthless. My fingers danced over her fur before I pulled out a knife and held it above my wrist. I was afraid to cut myself, but I knew I would be alright and this creature…without another thought, I cut into my skin – watching and screaming as my blood flowed from me and into the mouth of the gasping deer. Pain shot through me, strangled my veins and bones as my eyes squeezed shut just to bear it. But before I knew it, I felt my healer's blood pulse and dance within me as my wound closed. Yet I wasn't relieved, I was panicked. My eyes snapped open.

"No, no, no no!" My breath turned sour, bitter as I held and caressed the deer's head in my lap. "Please, please heal." I pressed a lingering kiss on her fur, my eyes closed as tears gently fell from my eyes. "Please." I begged, begged to whoever listened. "Please be enough."

And it was.

The deer grew stronger in my hands, it took time but…she did. And before I knew it, she was running through the woods once more, a beautiful, ethereal and healthy deer. I was really a healer, and I knew I had to stop fighting it, stop questioning and breaking as I discovered more. And so that is what I did.

I attempted to fully immerse myself into my school work, yet to my demise…I failed in doing so. Each moment at school, every moment I walked through the corridors and sat in my classes, my mind was robbed from me. It belonged to tales of healers and monsters, to Jasper. Our friendship had become this secret, this precious thing that only our two hearts knew about it. It was intoxicating. Every look, every secret touch of fingers brushing against each other as we passed in the hallways…all of these stolen moments...

Our friendship blossomed and quivered in the darkest of corners of the darkest of nights. It had been a few days after the attack when we made our decision – when we walked through the forest as if we were its makers. A warm hot coco nestled in-between my hands as we walked side my side – three of my strides a single one of his.

"What about your family?" I had asked him gently, licking away the warm chocolatey liquid that stuck to my upper lip. It was cold that night, colder than others as leaves crystalized and crunched underneath our feet.

I looked up to see Jasper's reaction as we walked, his thumb brushing over the side of his nose as he pondered his answer. "We ah," he paused his stride, looking up to the stars and trees and moon before flicking his gaze back to mine. "We are very close but –" his face became tense, as if the next words he spoke would pain him, bring about some guilt that he wasn't sure he wanted to have. "They are very protective, too protective." He rolled his shoulders back, pinning his bands together behind his back as he spoke. "They hover." As he spoke, he seemed to drift away, as if his thoughts had stolen his mind into an alternate universe and he, the man who stood before me, was a shell. I took a dainty step forward and placed a hand on his forearm.

"I know what that is like my lovely," I spoke gently, well aware of the conflicting emotions swimming inside him. "My mama, she was always so protective, so careful but…I understand why." The hands he held together behind his back loosened as they fell to his sides, his expression softening as he recognized something of himself in me.

"I would do anything to protect my family." His confession was sweet yet dangerous. "They saved me."

My brows furrowed in bewilderment. "Saved you?" I pressed delicately.

"I wasn't always this –" he paused, searching for the right world, "controlled, but Alice…" A beautiful tenderness and affection molded his features as memories of his dear sister flittered in his mind. "She helped me in a way that no one else at the time could but, I need escape. With a family like mine, it's impossible to have something that's just yours, impossible to have a secret or…"

"Escape." I finished for him in one breathless word.

He inclined his head, looking at me in a way I had never seen him look at me before. "You're that impossibility Willa." He took a bold step forward, my heart hiccupping in my chest as he took one of my hands in his. "And I can be yours, if you so desire."

His thumb ran over the smooth surface of my hand, sending heated shivers to scuttle through me as my eyes widened and a new hope bloomed within me. A hope that I could trust him, that our friendship could grow into something sacred, that he wouldn't be afraid of me and that he would understand. I gave the shiest of nods as I still attempted to gather my composure and still my racing heart.

"I do," I whispered, squeezing his hand lightly as he offered me a crooked smile. "I promise."

* * *

 **Authors Note: Hi everyone! So thats the end of the chapter! It's kind of a set up chapter for all that is to come! I hope you all enjoyed it and I would love to know what everyone thought of it! The coming chapters will be a mixture of heated fluffiness and some rather dark moments as things get more serious and Willa grows and develops more! There's still so much to figure out and discover! I can't wait to properly start writing Willa and Jasper's relationship and for ya'll to see it blossom and ignite! I can't wait for everyone to read what's coming! So please review, favorite and follow and read! I love you all! - Lisette**

 **JessEwa26: That's so sweet of you to say! I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well! There will be lots of fluff between Jasper and Willa in the next chapter so I'm so excited for you to read it! There will be lots of cute little scenes coming, and as for Willa's reaction to Jasper...I think it will be perfect! I can't wait to read what you think of this chapter! Lots of Love - Lisette**

 **Kookie16: That's so sweet of you to say! Goodness reading your review just made me so extremely happy! As for her reaction, I can't tell you exactly what it will be but I think it will be perfect! I can't wait to see what you think of this chapter and you have so much more to look forward to as this was more of an in-between chapter! I hope that makes sense! Lots of Love - Lisette**

 **Littlecosma001:That's alright my lovely! And yep that's exactly it, her near death experience did awaken her abilities so she has a rather massive journey that she has to go on now but I'm so excited to share it! I hope you liked this chapter and I can't wait to see what you think of this one! Much Love, Lisette 3**

 **AmberinAshes: That's so sweet of you to say! I love you're excitement and goodness your review just made me so happy! I truly hope you like this chapter and I can't wait to see what you think! There are many more twists and turns to come yet! Much Love, Lisette**

 **Darkest Nightingale: Oh my goodness! Your review literally made me cry with joy and happiness and just pure elation! I don't know how to ever thank you for those beautiful and so generously kind words! I don't know what to say...thank you so so much and goodness if I could send you a hug I would! I truly hope that you enjoy this chapter as well and I can't wait to see what you think of it! Your comment has given me so much confidence that I never thought I could have or feel! Thank you so much truly and I really hope you like this chapter too! Much Love - Lisette**

 **Belgium Bear: Oh my goodness! Your review nearly made me cry! Thank you so so much from the bottom of my heart truly! Willa has been a character who I have been thinking about for ages and being able to see you're reaction to her just makes my blood bubble with happiness! Thank you so so much and I can't wait t see what you think of this one! Much Love, Lisette**

 **Snow Black: That's so sweet of you to say! I'm so happy that you love and ship her parents! I must admit I absolutely adore writing them and there will be more scenes between them as more is explored and discovered! I can't wait to see what you think of this chapter! Much Love - Lisette!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note: Hi everyone! I'm so sorry for the late update, life has been rather hectic but I hope it was worth the wait! Thank you so much to all of you spectacular individuals who have followed, favorited, reviewed and are reading this story! You are all so magical and I want to thank you with all my heart! I'll leave another author's note at the bottom and review responses too! Happy Reading and Enjoy!**

Sweat trickled down my arms and legs as I collapsed on the ground – my heart hammering against my splintering rib-cage as I attempted to capture my breath and steady my pleading lungs. The gym floor was slippery against my skin as I lay there – a gasping, sweaty mess whose hair had messily fallen out of my braid in gentle waves. I could feel the flush in my cheeks, the stray strands of hair that stuck to my forehead in exhaustion. Today was the last day we had in class to practice our dance which we would be graded on. Placed into groups of three, our task had been to choreograph a new piece that intertwined multiple dance forms.

The gym lights blurred my vision as I gazed upwards, my fingers limp against the floor as my lips parted in a feeble attempt to swallow more oxygen. The air was sweet, yet tinged with a heated saltiness. My toes clicked as I moved them in tiny wave motions - the sound of other students dancing pulsed through my ears. Our group had decided on a contemporary dance with elements of ballet and gymnastics – but as my heart and lungs quivered in me, I was starting to ponder whether we had taken on too much. The group I had been assigned to were strong in their ability and I couldn't help but feel slightly timid. They had greater strength than I, greater blondness yet…the fluidity and vulnerability of their movements were too sharp, too confident and almost…arrogant.

I turned my head slightly, gazing up at my two team members who conversed lightly amongst themselves. Felix and Wilder – despite being in the same group as them, our discussion drifted no further than choreography and wrestling tactics as they practiced in-between breaks. The grey tops that clung to their chests were darkened with misshapen leaks of sweet. And as I lay there…I couldn't help but squint my eyes before widening them with sweet amusement at how the sweat on Felix's shirt looked like a map of Asia. Sighing, I gracefully got to my feet – my movements gentle and graceful as my bare feet glided over the floor. Ghosts of dance and music still lingered in my blood, in my ears and bones and dreamer's pulse.

Feeling the dryness in my throat, I padded over to the bleachers and lightly plucked up my water bottle before taking a deep and desperate drink. Music still swam through the air as I drank, as my eyes scanned the room for the individual who held and caressed the secret key to my undoing. Removing the water bottle from my lips, I licked my lips lightly as my eyes captured sight of him. I wanted to dance with him, to feel his fingers tease the tips of mine as we spun and twirled and intertwined in our own secret and heated friendship. He had not a single bead of sweat, not a single stray hair as he leaned against the gym wall and stared up at the ceiling. He looked bored, as if he was a stranger to practice and a lover of spontaneity and improvisation. The seriousness that decorated his features pulled at my heart in some strange way, as if I wanted to whisk it away and conjure that smile that I had come to know well.

His eyes suddenly flicked to mine, and my fingers hiccupped against the bottle that I held. I felt nervous, guilty as if I had been looking at something I shouldn't. His eyes bore into mine, swam inside me as if untangling each and every one of my deepest secrets. My lips parted but my body remained still. I wanted to go to him, to take his hands in mine and allow our sweet whisperings of our pasts, wishes, dreams, desires and whatever words our voices could conjure to fill the air and drown out all the noise. His gaze was intense, as if he were longing for the same thing but…I quickly snapped my gaze away, placed my water bottle down and returned to my group. Yet as I danced with Felix and Wilder…I had only one memory that blinded me completely, only one person…

 _Night claimed the sky in its delicate hands as I ran towards him – my feet bare and naked as my soul had become in his presence. His stiffness faded when he saw me, when he captured sight of my bright smile and wide eyes. He was dressed in a white shirt and dark navy jeans and I…a delicate dress of pastel yellow. My hair waved behind me in loose curls as before I could take another breath, I collided into him. His arms wrapped around me, no longer hesitant nor shy as he lifted me up in his embrace and spun me around precisely once as if I were but a feather to him.. Settling me down on the ground, the question and reason behind my race towards him fled me._

 _"Did you bring the book?" I gasped, my fingers dancing over his shoulder before I searched behind him in a hurried and desperate need. I circled him like a small ballerina mouse, as he followed my movements with amusement glimmering in his eyes. Managing to grasp my hand in a sly and almost cheeky manner, a small gasp echoed through my throat as he lightly pulled me towards him. His grip was delicate and light, as if in that moment my hand was made of glass. I met his eyes with enchantment as he brought my hand up to his lips._

 _"It's charming to see you too tonight darlin'" He said with a crooked smile, before placing a small peck on my hand. His words were delicate and strong, laced in that Texan twang which plucked at my heart's strings. I took a dainty step towards him, taking my hand back before carefully going up on my tiptoes to place a fragile kiss on his cheek. I then whispered in his ear._

 _"Where's the book my darling enigma?" I pulled away with a sweet and mischievous smile before dropping back down to the palms of my feet._

 _He took in a deep breath, as if the next words he was about to say were a challenge – unwanted in coating his lips and tongue yet, he spoke them anyways. He walked towards me, towering over me like an albatross over a duckling. "There can be no peace for us," he whispered, his words deep with unsavory feeling, "only misery, and the greatest happiness."_

 _I knew he was quoting the book I sought, yet those words... and the tone that laced and enchanted them…they felt too real, too possible as if in some way it was a warning that we would happily accept and cherish. We both gazed at one another, hypnotized and lost in thought at the words he had just spoken. Yet I had my response. I pressed a dainty hand against his chest – my fingers only just grazing the crisp fabric of his shirt as I backed him up into a tree. With his back pressed against the cool and pealing bark, I removed my hand and whispered my reply – keeping a few steps away from him as if to protect my own vulnerability._

 _"Something magical has happened to me: like a dream when one feels frightened and creepy, and suddenly wakes up to the knowledge that no such terrors exist. I have wakened up." My words were sweet and wistful, as if each commenced at the end of a breath. Anna Karenina, the book I sought and whose words stained our tongues was one dear to me. And Jasper, being the avid reader he was, shared my admiration for it. His lips parted at the words I quoted and after a few long heartbeats – he walked passed me, his shoulder grazing mine as if to say "please follow," and so I did._

 _We walked through the forest in silence. I trailed slightly behind him, talking in my surroundings, the soft breeze and – him. His back was straight and his muscles rippled underneath his skirt as he walked in a casual stride. We had done this nearly every night, and I was starting to fear for the safety of my heart as we grew closer and closer. When we reached the outskirts of the forest, his motorcycle appeared. He reached into the seat which popped open and retrieved a fist edition of Anna Karenina. My heart stopped when my eyes captured sight of it and for once in my life I had no idea in how to react. My eyes widened uncontrollably as an excitement I had not felt since I was a child claimed me. I became paralyzed as a whirlwind of emotions danced and chattered and screamed amongst my giddy bones. The brown leather, gold writing, crumpled pages…I could barely breathe. My hands went up to my lips as I tried to form a sentence. But I couldn't…my words had me captured as my eyes were solely fixed on the book. I wanted to touch it, to smell and feel it's pure words caress my mind._

 _"Would you like to borrow?" Jasper's question snapped me out of my trance, but only barely. His eyes looked warm with endearment._

 _"May…would…I…borrow…yes, oh yes please!" I exclaimed, as he carefully handed me the copy. My fingers caressed the cover and spine delicately, I brought it up to my nose, rested it against my cheek before bringing it to my chest to hold against my heart. "I promise on all the stars that have ever shone in the night sky that I will look after it."_

 _"I have no doubt that you will." He replied, leaning against his motorbike as I fawned over the book._

 _"Thank you, oh thank you, thank you, thank you!" I said in a stream of absolute ecstasy before taking an excited step towards him. "Oh, my stars you are like a genie." His eyes adverted downwards as a bashful smile waltzed their way onto his lips. "But I'm afraid it is my turn to play genie, and I…" I took a deep breath as I conjured up my strength. "I was wondering if we could spend the rest of the evening at the children's ward and play them music, together."_

 _He inclined his head and with a smile replied, "as you wish."_

As I practiced with Felix and Wilder…memories of that night painted my pupils as I completely succumbed to them, succumbed to the way I had danced for the children and Jasper played the music that moved me. Seeing the smiles on those children's faces…it was the best gift I or anyone could ever have received because in that one moment, they weren't in pain, they weren't focusing on the reason they were hospitalized…they forgot. Jasper's father Carlisle hadn't been at the hospital that night, hadn't witnessed or felt the air in those rooms and we were both grateful.

"Willa!" Wilder's warning snapped me out of my thoughtful trance as I accidentally stepped on his foot and spun the wrong way.

"Oh, my stars I'm sorry!" I exclaimed, my cheeks flushing an embarrassed red as he gripped my hand harder in frustration. There was no fluidity in our motions, no sense of losing one's self. It was all…forced.

I sighed with relief when the bell signalled the end of class and automatically went over to where Otto and Josie were hunched over with their hands on their knees as they tried to re-gain their strength and ability to move.

"Hey troopers," I spoke, placing a hand on Josie's back. Her shirt was soaked through, and her breathing was ragged and uneven. "Breath my angel," I told her gently, getting on my knees so I could look her in the eyes.

"I…I don't think that's possible." She gasped.

"Yea," Otto chimed in, "I mean why is this even mandatory? Do they want to hospitalize me?"

"I look like a beetroot, and not even a cute beetroot but one that's been stepped on and mushed up." Josie sighed, as I handed her a bottle of water and gently brushed aside the stray strands of hair that clung on her cheeks and forehead. I knew I probably looked exactly the same as her, and knowing I had a History test next period, I gave both Otto and Josie a kiss on the forehead before fast-walking to the changing rooms. I was nearly there when suddenly a shoulder grazed mine and a piece of paper fell into my hand. I looked up, gazing as Jasper walked past me without a single look or recognition. The piece of paper felt heavy in my hand, as if it pulled at my mind and heart to be its keeper and protector. I allowed my fingers to tightened their grip around it, to hold it gently but firmly until I reached the girl's locker room. Pressing my back against the wall, I willed myself to seep into the walls and shadows. Slowly, I uncurled my fingers and peered down at the crumpled paper. I could see threads of his curly writing in black pen, and when I knew no one else was paying attention to me, I opened the note and read his letter with a fluttering heart that wasn't sure if it wanted to stay or fly away in confusing fear.

 _Willa,_

 _'He stepped down, trying not to look long at her, as if she were the sun, yet he saw her, like the sun, even without looking.' – Anna Karenina._

 _Jasper_

* * *

I always hated multiple choice tests. Some people flourished in them, some became leaking vessels of information and I…I became a day dreaming mess who fell and faded into the different worlds my imagination conjured. The end of my pen tapped against the test-paper as I peered out the window. It was a Friday, a weeping wet Friday whose cool touch was no longer soothing but…I sighed, drifting my gaze back to my test. The letters and small empty circles that I was supposed to color in seemed to fade together. I always ended up doing poorly in these tests, for I couldn't write, couldn't blossom…

There were two minutes to go and I, unfortunately, still had quite a few empty spaces. Quickly, I read over all the questions and filled them out as I best as I could. When the bell rang to signal the end, I couldn't help but sigh with relief as I knew I was no longer trapped in this cage. I blew stray strands of hair away from my eyes as I impatiently waited for my test to be collected and my freedom granted.

As I waited, I felt a fingertip brush my knuckle, it was soft and cool – delicate and calming as I looked up at Jasper who seemed to be the perfect embodiment of tranquillity. We couldn't talk, couldn't look at each other for long but in that moment…it was as if everything was alright. I entwined my finger with his and bit back a small smile. No one was watching us…we were invisible at the back of the room, shrouded in shadow as rain fell and swept away any fear…any worry. Not wanting anyone to see, we slowly moved our hands away in a motion that showed that had never touched, that we had never acknowledged one another as our tests were collected and we left class as fake strangers.

* * *

As the day bleed into darkness and the moon ruled the sky, I sat in the children's hospital wing with a nine-month old baby nestled in my arms. Finlo gazed up at me with big brown eyes – his small hand wrapped around my finger as I sang him a sweet lullaby. Finlo had a tracheostomy to help him breath, his voice stolen from him so he could live. And as I looked down at him, as I held him and sang him to sleep whilst his parents went to get some food…I couldn't help but want to heal him, to fix him. I knew my blood could but…a part of me thought it unethical. I didn't know how this was done, how this was practiced and if there were different ways and procedures. I continued to sing, to let the words soften and glide as the lights dimmed and his eyes misted over. He was such a precious child. His skin was soft and tan, and his hair was fluffy and dark. He didn't deserve this, no children nor parent did.

I leaned down and placed a single kiss on his forehead, allowing my lips to linger before I cradled him gently and sang until his parents returned. I had grown to know Finlo and his family. He was their first child, and all they wanted was for their little boy to be safe and healthy. And despite not being a doctor or nurse, I strangely…felt responsible for him.

Knowing my shift was over, I slowly walked out of the children's ward – my violin case slung over my shoulder as I wiped sleep away from my eyes and said goodbye to the children. After all those evenings spent with Jasper, discovering my past and who I was…I felt rather exhausted. I had just rounded the corner when I accidently bumped into someone.

"Oh, my stars!" I exclaimed, my hands pressing against their hard chest as I steadied both him and myself.

"That's alright, Willa." Looking up, my eyes widened and my cheeks flushed with embarrassment as I looked up at Doctor Cullen.

"Oh, bless you heart," I swallowed deeply, straightening his coat as surprise moulded my features. "I'm so sorry, I must have slipped away to my own fantastical world."

He smiled sweetly, watching my hands as they dropped from his coat to my sides. "That's quite alright. I was actually on my way to find you."

"To, to find me?" I asked gently, surprised and slightly anxious about his reason. I had never spoken to Doctor Cullen before. I had seen him through the halls, had marvelled at his skill and technique and aura but…I had never met his eyes, never spoken and asked him the range of questions that my heart begged to ask. He was a Doctor, not a healer but…

"I wanted to thank you. It's not often that we get volunteers who are so committed as you." He spoke with a gentle ease, with maturity beyond his years and suddenly my desire to ask him the questions that I did could no longer be sealed behind my lips.

"Would it," I paused, smiling shyly as I hesitated in thought. It was rather late…and I couldn't supress the guilt that nipped at my heart. Surely, he wouldn't want a student like me to pester him, to distract him and take away his time? Yet when I looked up into his eyes, when I saw how they looked into me…it was suddenly as if my guilt faded away, as if tranquillity claimed me and I knew he wouldn't reject me. "Would it be alright if I asked you some questions?"

His face softened and warmed, as if he had wanted someone to show an interest in him and what he did. My enthusiasm for his profession shone from me and he gave me one of those rare smiles that promised he would love to answer whatever I had stored up in my mind.

"Of course," he said, holding out an arm as he gestured towards the hospitals café, "I've just finished for the night."

"Well, that's, that's wonderful." I enthusiastically told him, my tiredness a distant memory as I walked beside him with a skip in my stride as my pony-tail swung happily from side to side.

"Would you like something to drink?" He asked politely, his hands folding behind his back like Jasper would do.

"I would love some hot chocolate, just give me one second to get my money and –" He rested a hand on mine that had just reached into my pocket. His expression was endearing and soft as he shook his head.

"It's quite alright, I'll get it for you." I shook my head in disbelief, resting my other hand over his in delicate protest.

"Oh no, I couldn't –"

"I insist." His words were firm with graciousness and before I could part my lips to reply, he had left to order. With a bewildered smile, I walked over to a spare table and seated myself down. I tried to calm the guilt in my heart as I watched him purchase the hot chocolate for me. As he was paying, he looked over his shoulder at me – giving me a crooked smile that made my guilt sting. And by the time he had arrived at our table and sat down, I couldn't help but pull out the money and lay it in front of him.

"Willa –"

"You save lives every-day, you give so much of yourself to everyone always." I held his gaze, let all my emotion and admiration seep into him. "Please." I slid the money closer towards him. I had given him more than the beverage, far more but it just seemed…worth it. I let him study me, allowed his eyes to swim and dance in my blood before he smiled and tapped my knuckle in surrender before taking the money.

"You're very generous." My cheeks flushed a bashful pink and shook my head. "I'm nothing compared to you. How do you do it, what drives you. I've seen you work, you work more hours than anyone in this hospital. I'm curious as to why." I suddenly felt afraid, felt afraid that I had went one step too far yet…the way he looked at me, it seemed alright.

"It gives me happiness." He said, sweet and simple, honest and factual. "Human-life, it is indeed one of the most precious things and seeing the way I can heal them, protect them…" He looked down, as if he was embarrassed by what he was saying. "Surely you must understand and know my answer before you asked it, or else why would you be volunteering so many hours?"

His question caught me of guard, I had been so lost in his answer, so drawn in and attentive to his words that when he directed the attention onto me, I was not prepared. I sat back in my chair, pondering his words before leaning forward with passion shining in my eyes. "Exactly the same reason as you. I just feel like I need to be here, to help others, to heal them and bring them happiness. I suppose it does bring me happiness in helping them but I prefer to see their happiness. I don't care how tired I am, as long as I can see them smile and know in that one brief moment that they are alright…then it is all worth it."

"Have you ever thought about studying medicine?" He asked gently and calmly, nodding at what I had just told him.

"I," I sighed shyly. "I would love to but, I'm afraid I may not have the brains for it." I tapped my head before hiding my face in my hands and separating two fingers on each hand so my eyes could peek through them.

"I'm sure that's not true." He shook his head, taking my hands away from my face.

"No, I…I'm not the best student at school." I told him honestly. "My heart…it lies in music, and dance and helping others but in the classroom…I falter."

"It sounds to me that you need a purpose to flourish." He told me, his fatherly tone catching me of-guard. It was warm, soft and promised something that I wasn't familiar with.

"But it may be too late." He shook his head, giving me a new sense of hope as I stared into his courageous eyes.

"It's never too late, I promise you." I took a sip of hot chocolate as he asked me, "what colleges have you applied for?"

Swallowing I replied, "I haven't. My mama passed during the time applications were due and I think I would just like to volunteer in hospitals or third world countries whilst I figure out what I'd like to do with my life."

He nodded, "what if I were to offer you a training position. With me as your mentor?" Hearing his words, I instantly chocked on the warm chocolate liquid. It sprayed all over the table as I coughed and gagged and tried to stifle it with my hand. My eyes were wide with horror as my face went red. My body shook as I coughed, as Doctor Cullen rushed to get some water and kneeled in front of me – his hand rubbing my back as I sipped at the water.

"I…I'm sorry I think my ears must have taken a trip of to never never land, would…" I took another sip of water as I tried to calm myself. 'Would it be alright if you repeated yourself?"

He looked worried and concern, but an endearing smile pinched his lips upwards. "Of course. Willa, what if I were to offer you a training position. With me as your mentor?"

I shook my head in disbelief. "But…you barely know me."

"I think I know and have seen enough of you to know that you have a rare heart and extraordinary potential in this field of work." His hand steadied on my back, applying the lightest of pressures as his fatherly presence clamed me.

"I don't know what to say." And for once, I truly didn't. He had stolen my ability to speak, my ability to think and I was truly rendered speechless.

"You don't need to, have a think about it but know that my offer will still stand." He stood up and returned to his seat. When I saw he began cleaning my hot chocolate mess, I quickly found myself and brushed loose strands of hair behind my ear.

Grasping a napkin, I said, "let me." He simply smiled as we both cleaned up the mess.

"I believe you had a few questions for me Willa?" He asked once the mess was gone. He leaned back in his chair casually.

"My stars my mind is slippery today, I do." I told him, biting back all my questions as I selected the most important one I wanted to ask him. "If you could heal someone, save their life so they and their family could be happy, would you do it even if the way to achieve that would be unethical?"

He paused at that, as if the question was one that he had never expected and I couldn't blame him. I waited patiently as his features moulded into a serious, deep and conflicted portrait. It was as if he was mulling over a fact that I did not know, something personal to him but then…" If it ensures that the individual with be healthy, happy and their life saved without question or possibility of failure…then it could not be unethical."

I had my answer. Yet I still felt afraid. Still felt afraid as Doctor Cullen and I talked about medicine and life and art and music. I felt afraid when we said goodbye and I walked back into the children's ward – my footsteps nimble and light as I made my way to Finlo's crib and picked him up in the gentlest of ways. The night-time staff didn't look at me twice as I held him in my arms – his parents must have gone home to sleep. He was beautiful and sweet and so innocent. He had a voice and I needed to give it to him, I had to…The words that Doctor Cullen told me sang strongly in my ears, mind and heart. I could save him, I knew I could. Singing softly to him as he slept in my arms, I carefully and nearly slit my wrist without hesitation. I could save him, I could save him. Balancing him in one arm, I opened his mouth and dripped my blood past his lips. When I thought he had enough, I quickly removed his tracheostomy, wiped his mouth and placed him in his crib with the tracheostomy next to his neck for it to appear as if it had just 'fallen out."

I stepped back in fear, my whole body shaking and pleading and begging as I watched Finlo. He woke up, gasping and I wanted to cry. Fear and guilt claimed my heart and I could feel myself collapsing until…the whole in his neck healed completely as his breathing…. he became steady. Relief flooded me as I heard him cry, heard his voice before I screamed for a nurse, for a doctor, for anyone to make sure he was alright and that this wasn't a dream.

The Doctor ran over to Finlo's crib, his eyes wide when he captured sight of him. I watched with tears in my eyes as I spoke in a hurried and panicked way. "I…I just came over to his crib and he was crying and –"

"This is impossible." The Doctor said in completely disbelief. "He's completely healed he's-" I didn't hear the rest he said, I couldn't focus as I stumbled out of the children's ward and ran outside. I needed to breath, to feel and see and become a slave to nature. When I reached the entrance to the hospital I collapsed and vomited. My whole body shook and quivered in fright and relief as emotions flooded and drowned me. I had saved him, he was alright…I began laughing, laughing in ecstasy and I knew I must have looked like a crazy person but I didn't care. I could save people, I did it. Looking up to the stars, tears wetted my cheeks as I thanked the stars. He was alright, he was safe.

And without another moment or thought or look at passer-by's who regarded me with concerning bewilderment, I got to my feet and ran the rest of the way home.

* * *

Closing the front door, I allowed my back to collapse against it as I breathed in and out with a strange smile. I was happy and relieved and shocked and…I closed my eyes. Savouring the sweet air and the safety of my home before opening them and wandering into the kitchen with a skip in my stride. Searching the cupboards, I plucked up some chocolate bars and with my mouth, I bit down on the plastic packaging of pre-popped popcorn and headed up to my room. I had found that after I had given blood, no matter how little or how much…I felt weak and dizzy, hungry and I suppose that was something I loved. I had always adored food, no matter what culture it was from and to have an excuse to eat…

Opening my door, the popcorn bag fell out of my mouth when I found Bella curled up on my bed waiting for me. Seeing me, she slowly sat up, her hair an endearing mess as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

"Hey, I stayed up to talk." She said, shuffling over to make a stop for me to sit. "Got enough food?"

I gave her a wide smile and threw the pop-corn at her which she failed to catch. "Only just!" I exclaimed happily before sitting next to her. "Oh! And since you're awake, maybe we could watch a movie together?"

She stretched her arms out, trying her best to appear awake. "I'd love that, and that way you won't eat all the food."

"So, my darling, what would you like to talk about?" I rested my head against her shoulder, snuggling into her as if she were my only source of warmth.

"Edward." I felt her stiffen and I couldn't help but mimic her. For the past month, Edward had been a constant on her mind and it wasn't in a good way. It made me unsure of my feelings towards him. Seeing the distress and then curiosity and then happiness that he brought Bella…He made me feel more protective over Bells and I couldn't help but hold her hand and give it a reassuring squeeze. "I invited him to come to La Push with us tomorrow."

"Oh?" I asked gently, raising an eyebrow as I waited for her to continue – my fingers caressing her hand in a soothing manner.

"Well, he's not coming." I felt her chest rise and fall with deep annoyance and frustration. But from all of the past experiences she had with him, I couldn't help but wonder is this was a good or bad thing.

Licking my lips, I looked up at her as I asked the question that pondered my lips. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing sweetheart?"

She shook her head, slouching further down as she wrapped her arm around me and rested her chin against my hair. "I don't know. It's weird, when I invited him…I felt this weird twinge of enthusiasm that he may say yes."

Wanting to give Bells my full attention, I sat up, faced her cross-legged and took both of her hands in mine. "He's truly put you through a roller coast, hasn't he? As your cousin, and someone who loves you more than any other person in this world…I can't help but feel very protective over you. He seems dangerous, like he's battling something personal and I…I know it's none of our business but I don't want you to get hurt. You're too, you mean too much to me." I reached forward, caressing her cheek before letting my hand fall into my lap.

"I know, but don't worry. He won't hurt me. If anything, he seems rather protective in a strange way." I tilted my head to the side in bewilderment. Hoping it would be enough to encourage her to keep talking. "When I left him yesterday he told me not to fall into the ocean or to get run over or anything."

A small smile pinched my lips upwards and in a way, I was thankful for what Edward had said. "And knowing you my darling you snapped at him."

"Yes but –"

"I'm starting to wonder if this confusion of emotions is a two-sided thing." I smiled easily at her, tapping her nose in a cheeky manner.

She scrunched her nose up at me before continuing. "I just wished he came today, for us to talk."

"I know," I replied gently. "I saw the way you looked at their table. Where was he today if it's alright to ask?" I pondered allowed.

"He said him and his family are going hiking in the Goat Rocks Wilderness, just south of Rainer. Him and Emmett left early today."

I popped my lips, "that explains why his brother wasn't in physical education today."

"But what's strange is that when I asked Dad about the place this evening, he said it wasn't a good place to go camping. That there are too many bears there." Her sentence made my smile fade as a new sense of worry and fear snapped at my heart. But it wasn't just a friendly sort of worry for Edward's family…it was a deeper worry for Jasper. A strength of worry that I had never felt before. I knew he would be safe, that his family would be but suddenly…my heart had caught me off-guard.

"I'm sure they'll be alright. "I told her, suddenly unaware if I was trying to convince her or myself. "They have to be." I squeezed her hands tighter. "Now, shall we watch a movie?"

* * *

Sleep claimed me quickly once the movie had ended and Bella had left for her room. Dressed in a white nightgown made from light and dainty fabric, I let it pool around me like liquid as I slept with my window open. The cool breeze coated my face – as I fell into a world of bitter darkness who's claws caressed and dug viciously into my mind.

 _The room was dark –wet and cold as if all the warmth in the world had dissolved into the seeping stones. Flora's feet stumbled over the cobbled floor as she was dragged into the room. She wore nothing but a ripped, dirty sheet that had holes for a head and two arms. It appeared that it may have once been white, a long time ago before old blood and grime stained its unwashed surface for centuries. Her long hair fell over her eyes – she had no strength to fight, no strength to struggle or even speak as she was shoved onto the rusted metal grating that decorated a small section of the floor. Her broken fingers coiled around the grating in feeble desperation._

 _"Please," she begged, the word harsh against her throat as her cheek rested against the cool grating. She couldn't move, couldn't look up as she shook and trembled with crumbling fear. The bracelets that wove tightly around her wrists burned her, poisoned her blood as her magic, as her ability to heal herself was frozen. She felt like she couldn't breathe, as if her essence, her sweet, beautiful essence – it felt dead, she…despite her hope and blind faith, felt dead. She had no idea how long she had been here, how long she had been abused and tortured and drained by the monsters as if she was some play-thing. Her memories were blurred, just as her eyes were. Her dry lips, crusted with old blood and skin parted to speak. But before she could, before she could muster up all her strength to voice a single world…another broke the silence._

 _"Flora."_

 _It was as if that one word brought her one mouthful of sweet oxygen, as if it gave her a single strong heartbeat but – her fingers coiled tighter around the metal grating as she tried to lift her head up. To see him, to lose herself in his eyes and know she was not alone. Every bone, every vein screamed within her, and it never stopped – that pain, it was constant…she couldn't heal herself, she couldn't…the bracelets were heavy around her tiny wrists, violent as small metal spikes pierced her wrist and robbed her of who she was._

 _"Flora." She had to look up, had to see him, she – flicking her eyes up and twisting her neck to the side…she was able to see him, to feel his heartbeat inside hers but…the sight of him, it broke her beyond repair. On the other side of the room he was on his knees, his arms spread apart and attached to two metal chains. His entire body, his chest…he was covered, not a single patch of skin was left without a bite mark, without a whip's slash. Yet he remained on his knees, remained strong and relentless as sweat shined against his exposed chest and his long hair hung over his eyes. She knew he would not give up, that he would not appear weak to their captors...Silas's masters but, she knew she couldn't be the same. She was weak, a crumpled mess who's back and entire body had been slashed and bitten and sucked and drained._

 _"Flora look at me, keep your eyes on me." The metal grating beneath both her and Silas was how the monster's collected their blood for future consumption. They would beat them, whip them and watch with watering mouths as their blood leaked from their bodies and down into the pit below where it was stored to mature whilst the healers were allowed to heal themselves once more._

 _"Silas." She managed to whisper before she was dragged up to her feet. Her back slammed against a hard chest as a smooth silky hand grabbed her chin and tilted her head back so she could look into those two red eyes._

 _"This is what happens when my possessions decide to take their lives into their own hands." His voice was light and giddy, as if he were playing hide and seek and had just found his prize. His dark long jet-black hair fell against Flora's shoulders as she was forced to look up at him. He had no empathy, no heart except for a black mass that lusted for power and hid whimsically behind his cheeriness and quirky optimism. "Do you know why I've decorated your pretty wrists with these bracelets my pet?" He asked lightly, stroking Flora's cheek as if she were the most precious thing to him. She squirmed at his touch, for it was too gentle, to careful and delicate…a touch only a lover would give and she felt repulsed._

 _"No." She told him, her voice soft and fearful._

 _"No that's right, you wouldn't would you because ah." He paused, smiling as he smelt her hair and neck and sighed as if he were intoxicated by her. "You're a rather new healer, aren't you? Compared to dear old Silas – an ancient relic isn't he but you…your healer's blood sings louder than his, it's so much sweeter. But," he tapped her nose, trailing his free hand down her arm to lightly caress her bracelet. "It can be so much more affective if it means you can't heal yourself. Look at it like sparkling champagne. The longer the cork is on, the longer you shake the bottle…the fizzier it gets before…pop." He released a slightly giggle. "You open the bottle and its magic comes shooting out, mature and saved – not wasted on you." He gave her one last smile before throwing her back to the grating. But she did not allow herself to collapse fully, she did not allow herself to scream or cry when her back was whipped to ribbons and her blood drained from her._

 _She focused on Silas, held his eyes and heart and soul in her as she fought to cling on to whatever sanity she still had left. And when the monsters left them, when she knew they were alone…she crawled to him like a stray, helpless puppy and draped her arms around his neck. He couldn't hold her back, he couldn't move due to being chained up but –_

 _He nestled his face in her hair, breathing in heavily as he kissed her cheeks and neck and shoulder. He needed to feel her, to smell her and love her. It was his fault they were found and captured. He became to careless on their honeymoon, too lost in this ecstasy that he found in her that he didn't realize they were being tracked. He hated himself, hated the skin that draped over his bones and that she kissed with her cracked lips. He couldn't bare it, couldn't bare feeling her love for he knew he didn't deserve it._

 _Flora felt him stiffen against her touch and she knew why, she knew and wasted no time in grasping his chin and making him look her in her eyes._

 _"It was both of our faults, not yours alone. Never yours alone because we are in this together. Always and forever." She told him, her thumb running over his lip._

 _"I will get us out of here, I promise you." His words were deadly as he spoke, as he captured her lips with his and –_

 _The door burst open, and before Flora or Silas could say another word she was ripped away from him and dragged by the hair into the black and bloody abyss._

My eyes flickered open as I sat up in bed with one fluid motion. My breathing was light and quick as I drew my knees up to my chest and rested my cheek against them. I was afraid to close my eyes as I gathered and steadied my heart and lungs. The night seemed calm, as if what I dreamt and saw could never have possibly happened. But despite it being a nightmare, I knew it was real and that despite how safe I was now…I knew it would not last forever.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Hi everyone! So there you have it! Next chapter will be La Push and a lot more discovery and Jasper and Willa moments together! What did ya'll think of this chapter?! I know it was rather dark in some places but I'd love to know what everyone thinks! Please review, follow and favorite and I can't wait to see what everyone thinks and for ya'll to read the next coming chapters too! Much Love, Lisette.**

 **Littlecosma001: Hiya! Thank you so much for your review! I love reading them so much and jeepers! Some of your observations/feelings are well...as you can see from this chapter, correct! The one about the Volturi! For the others, I'm afraid I can't say! I hope you liked this chapter and I can't wait to show you more of Willa and Jasper's bond which will blossom more in the next chapter! As for when she finds out about Jasper becoming a vampire, that will happen very soon! I can't wait to see what you think!**

 **BelgiumBear: N'aww thank you you amazing human being! I couldn't help but read your review over and over and goodness thank you so much! I hope you liked this chapter! And you're completely right about you what you said and I can't wait to write and show you more of Jasper and Willa's friendship and then relationship as things blossom and I hope you can tell but she's already starting to fell some things!**

 **Snow Black: You're honestly the sweetest! I hope you liked this chapter and that it answered some of your questions! I can't wait to see what you think!**

 **Secret Nerds: Oh my goodness you are so generous and sweet! I hope you liked this chapter and I can't wait to see what you think! You're such a sweetheart!**

 **AmberinAshes: Hiya! I honestly love your enthusiasm so much! I hope you liked this chapter and I can't wait to see what you think! You're reviews make me smile so widely!**

 **LoveKitaSoMuch: Thank you so much! That's so sweet of you to say! I hope you liked this chapter!**


	12. Chapter 12 - Part I

**Author's Note: Hello my lovelies! Thank you so much for everyone who is reading, reviewed, favorited and following this story! It truly makes my heart blossom! This Chapter will be posted in two parts as it involves some rather oh my goodness plot points and developments that will truly take this story into a more darker and deeper path. I am truly excited for you to read it and I can't wait to see you're reactions! Part 2 will be posted just before Christmas and will be the last chapter posted before the new year! I would really love to know what you think and ideas on what will happen! I'll leave review responses at the end and another small authors note! Happy Reading!**

As the sun rose and scampered across the sky like a free and wild thing, I couldn't resist escaping the walls of my room and embark on a bike ride to nowhere in particular. I hadn't slept since that dream, since the sun first woke the sky with its delicate caresses of orange and yellow. My bare feet and toes curled around the pedals as I rode, as my long hair danced like feathers in the wind and my light blue dress fluttered in the breeze. I hadn't felt the sun's love since I had come here, hadn't felt her sweet melody and now – to see and feel her, my heart felt overwhelmed in that one precious and peaceful moment.

Stopping at the bakery, I purchased three warm almond croissants and a single chocolate éclair that I ate before riding home. Walking through the grass outside the bakery, I savored each chocolatey mouthful, sighing in bliss as it coated my tongue and teased my teeth. I loved the way the grass felt between my toes, how each blade nestled in-between them and tickled the balls of my feet…Today Bella and I would be going to La Push, and a small part of me felt warmth and excitement at the idea – at being close to that much water…Finishing my éclair, I placed the three almond croissants inside the bicycles basket and rode home. I didn't want the ride to end, didn't want to still the wind through my hair and dress and blood.

 _"But what if you fall?" Jasper had asked me, his eyes full of concern as he looked behind him to drown me in his gaze of disapproval and concern. We were seated on his stationed motorbike – the night in full blossom as I removed my helmet and looked at him with wild and hopeful eyes._

 _Leaning forward, I whispered in his ear. "Oh, but darling, what if I fly?" I twitched my nose with glee as I rested my knees against the leather seat and knelt there – my hands lightly running over the crisp fabric of his navy shirt. "Now, take me to the stars my darling enigma." He looked up at me, craning his neck back so he could capture my eyes and try and seep some sense into them. Yet the longer he looked, the longer his eyes softened with gentle endearment, the more he knew there was no use in reason when it came to me and capturing silly dreams and wishes._

 _With an incline of his head, he turned his head back to face the road and started his motorbike with a thrilling roar. And then – he rode, we rode…faster and faster as I titled my head back in bliss and balanced my hands on his shoulders. I parted my lips, allowing the air to whistle and sing within me in this exhilarating rush. The widest smile danced across my lips as I slowly, ever so delicately slowly…raised my hands from his shoulders and outstretched them like wings. Was this what it felt like to fly? To lose oneself from all worries and thought?_

 _Feeling the motorbike come to a gentle stop, I opened my eyes in gentle bewilderment and removed myself from his vehicle to stand in front of his bike. Resting my elbows on the handles, I laid my chin on the crossed backs of my hands and blinked with innocent mischief at him. "Are you afraid my darling?" I asked him in a whimsical way._

 _His face was serious, filled and painted with deep lines of concern and thoughtfulness. I wanted to smear them away, to unlock this wild creature that I knew lurked in his veins._

 _"For you, always." I straighten up at his words, walking to stand beside him as I held out my hand for him._

 _"Humor me, do something crazy." His eyes flicked to my outstretched hand as I leaned in a little closer, whispering as if it was but a bold move to speak to him. "Do something daring." And before he could reply, before he could blink or breath or even twitch…I spun away from him and ran._

 _I went as fast as I could, weaving in and out-between trees as the raw earth teased my feet and arms and spirit. Looking behind me, I smiled as I saw him follow – as I saw him run with a smile that mimicked my own. His honey locks swayed over his eyes as his shirt ripped with his gliding movements._

 _"Catch me if you can!" I called to him, turning away to focus on my running, to run faster and faster than I ever had before until a strong arm wrapped around my waist and spun me into his chest. My hands fumbled against his shirt as I laughed against him. But his arm remained around my waist and his hand grasped mine. He held my fingers lightly against his chest, caressed them as if they were made of glass until suddenly my eyes widened and before I knew it …he plucked me up into his arms as if I were a dainty doll and leapt into the water below._

 _The fall was short, quick and thrilling and exhilarating and…when the water claimed us, when it pushed us apart deep down into its glorious and fantastical grasp...I felt a hand tickle my feet. Opening my eyes, I looked down to see Jasper…to see him blue like moonlight and floating like feathers and milky silk. He had this smile, this smile that called on the Gods on mischief and trickery as his hand glided up my leg and dress and retrieved an object from my pocket. It was a tiny golden rose, a golden rose that he given me one charming evening to ease my sadness at the fact that flowers wilted and died. He told me it could be my enteral rose and I…I carried it everywhere. Seeing it in his fingers, my eyes widened with shy embarrassment and I lightly swayed my legs upwards so I could breath._

 _Tasting the air, feeling my hair stick to my face as droplets decorated my skin – I watched as he emerged and my heart, at the sight of him…pitter pattered. We did not speak as we looked at one other, as he raised both of his hands to show they were empty. I parted my lips to question the whereabouts of my rose. But before I could, he waved his hand behind my ear and retrieved it…like magic. My lips pinched upwards as a smile as big as the sun claimed me._

 _"Oh, my stars," I said breathlessly, trying to contain my glee and amazement. "Now was that so hard, to be a little daring… my darling enigma?"_

That memory, memories of that night, of us and him flittered through my mind like a loose and daredevil rose petal in the wind as I rode home. And in that moment, I couldn't help but miss him.

 _The lights were dim, soft and soothing as I danced through the children's ward – my feet bare and nimble as I moved in delicate and lyrical motions to the guitar music. Jasper's strumming and plucking and sweet magic that he cast on those strings enslaved me, claimed me as its own as it moved me like I was its puppet. I smiled as I danced, as the children watched in this hypnotic way and I…I lost myself in their happiness, in the music and in him. My light pink dress moved like velvet in water around me – it's touch teasing and soft, encouraging as it moved up and down my skin as I danced. And when the music stopped – when the children clapped and begged for more, I couldn't help but steal a glance at Jasper._

 _When my eyes shifted towards him, my smile only grew when I found him watching me as well – his eyes deep and thoughtful and…hypnotized…as if I were a rare creature to him and in that way…so was he to me._

When I saw our house approach, I pushed aside those sweet memories – suddenly afraid that if I thought of them, of him too much – that someone would see them in my eyes. Letting my bike fall to the ground, I quietly opened the door in a timid manner and stepped into the warmth of our home. The floorboards creaked underneath my feet – announcing my presence to the mice that scuttled beneath the floorboards and to the lost spiders that found safety under our roof. Bella and Charlie were still sound asleep as I sat at the table and began to write out a new melody – my shoulders swaying to the imaginary sounds as I lost myself in creativity.

After they eventually woke and we all had breakfast together, my fingers skimmed the material of my clothes as my mind pondered on what to wear. I had always loved fashion – loved the different feels of fabric on my skin, on my eyes and heart as I drank it their beauty. Biting my lip lightly, I laid out a few options before dressing myself in the decided option. First, I wore my swimsuit – a full piece pastel blue and lilac one with pearl straps. Then, I slipped on my chosen dress – a beautiful, sweet and light blue one who's fabric moved like water and rippled in the gentlest of breezes. The sleeves were long and dainty, flowing fabric of the most beautiful blue my eyes had ever captured. And to keep warm – my bright pastel blue raincoat and lilac boots. With my hair lazy draped over both my shoulders, I placed on a lilac beanie with two poms, took my violin and headed down to meet Bella.

* * *

The water was cool and rough as it splashed against my legs and rippled around my waist. My toes – dainty and small buried themselves in the sand and seaweed and shells as I walked – walked until the water lifted me off my feet and I was but a mere daisy floating in the water. The moment we had arrived here, the moment the smell of salty water tickled my senses and heart…I knew I couldn't stay away from the water for long. The moment Bella and others departed on their hike, the magnetic pull of the water became too much to bare and in isolation…I gave myself to it. My dress floated around me as I allowed my arms and fingers to dance above my head and pull me through the water. I didn't feel scared, I did not feel nervous about what may be beneath me but more…curious.

Taking one final breath of fresh and raw oxygen, I submerged myself into the water – disappearing under the currents and waves and froth that decorated the surface of the ocean. I pushed myself deeper into that blue abyss, swimming amongst the fish and the unknown. My lungs felt sore, desperate as I refused to surface, to part from this enchanting world. But, how could I? A curious thought suddenly waltzed across my mind and teased it with the finger-tips of a trickster. What if I could breathe under water? What if my lungs gave in, surrendered to this new world bellow the sky and rocky ground?

And that was when I stopped swimming, when I closed my eyes and allowed myself to float like a sinking feather. I tried to relax, to surrender and give myself to the water but…it spat me out, refused me and I…I panicked. I couldn't breathe under water and I was so far under. Looking up, I could see the blur of sun rippling above me and kicked towards the surface. Each motion, each effort to survive, it punched and kicked and strangled my lungs and body to such an extent that when I emerged, when I was suddenly confronted with oxygen – it slammed into me. I gasped loudly as I bobbed up and down like a cork. I needed to get to land, to…my fingers were shaking, quivering and trembling as I swam and kicked and pulled myself towards land. My long hair, my dress….it dragged me down and back but no…I could make it, I could…

My eyes widened when they captured sight of something grey and mighty underneath the water and a feeling that I had not experienced since forever cut into my heart. I wanted to scream, to trash and consume myself in this dread and fear and terror that was so close to engulfing me.

Shark.

I didn't know whether to stop swimming or to race away and suddenly… I found myself unable to move – my eyes large and my lips parted as this creature swam towards me. It was my fault, I was in its territory, it's home and I…just as I was about to close my eyes, to hold my breath and await whatever fate would claim me, the shark stopped inches away from me, circling me as if it was unsure of what to do. I felt my oxygen leave me as my body sank deeper into the water until I could see its eyes and face as it swam around me. My hair danced around me seaweed as I waited and watched and pondered. It wasn't attacking me, wasn't making one aggressive move and if anything, it felt – protective. I suddenly wanted to stroke it, to caress its hard skin but I knew it foolish and I knew that although it wasn't aggressive that this could be a game and I was its mere plaything.

When my lungs began to hurt, panic threatened to consume me once more as I was afraid to move, afraid to startle it when suddenly a hand plunged into the water and grasped my floating raised hand. I wasn't sure whether to be frightened or relieved as I was pulled out of the water and onto a small boat which rocked dangerously against the light waves.

My back pressed lightly against the side of the boat as I sat with my legs pulled to my chest and droplets decorating my face. I blinked, fluttered my eyelids as I tried to clear my vision and capture sight of the person who pulled me out. Rough hands caressed my cheeks as a stream of questions was rushed my way. It was only when he said –

"Are you crazy?" My vison achieved clarity and I gazed into two dark brown eyes which were pinched in concern. Long dark brown hair framed his face and tickled my bare arms that trembled against my legs as I held them closely towards me. His hands still cupped my cheeks, as if he was searching from some grain of sanity within me.

"Aren't we all?" I replied, lightly and breathlessly as a foolish smile fluttered across my lips at what had just happened. I was alright, the shark hadn't attacked…another mystery to keep my mind enchanted, or was it just pure luck?

The boy who had pulled me out fell back as he sat casually in front of me, an arm resting against his raised knee as he shook his head at my light softness.

"Thank you." I whispered softly, seeing his body tremble with the adrenaline that must have filled him. "With my whole heart, truly."

He shook his head, "you could have been killed."

"I know, and if I was then it is my fault…not the sharks."

"Not the sharks?"

"I was in its territory, it's home. It was foolish of me to swim out so far but…" I smiled lightly as I remembered the beauty beneath the water, the way it felt against my skin and mind and soul. "It was just magnetic, so alluring that I couldn't resist her call." I looked down to my fingers, watching with delicate observation as droplets danced and rested and swirled around my skin. "I love the water, it's electric serenity and ability to surpass all attempts that we mere mortals make to describe it." I took in a deep breath, savoring the briny air that coated my tongue and…I had said mortals, no…I was no longer mortal, yet I did not want to correct myself verbally, just silently in my own conscious.

"I suppose you think you're brave don't you, not reckless or foolish?" He asked, and I suddenly did not know who to read him. He seemed mature beyond his years but still young and full of colossal potential and depth.

"Oh, my savior," I hummed, shaking my head gently, "reckless no, but foolish…as Scott Fitzgerald says – 'that's the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool." The waves rocked the boat in the most gentle and beautiful way, as if we were suddenly children in a cradle and the ocean were our loving parent. "What's your name?" I pondered aloud, relaxing my hold against my legs as a wash of sweet bewilderment and intrigue glazed his eyes.

"Jacob, Jacob Black." His name sounded familiar in a pleasant and happy nostalgic way yet…I couldn't place my finger on it. "Your cousin bought my dad's truck." He held out his hand for me to shake, his skin a beautiful russet-color that seemed to shine beautifully in the dimming sunlight and water's skin.

"Jacob." I repeated his name, tasting each letter, each syllable as a rush of memories soaked my mind and a radiant smile took hold of me. "We used to play together all the time and oh goodness, didn't we take horse riding lessons together when I visited?"

"That's right we did. I remember you always used to look out for me, like a little brother. So, I suppose I'm finally returning the favor." He smiled a sweet toothy grin, one that seemed to promise a life full of light and passion and excitement. With his hand still out, water-droplets falling from his skin onto the floor of the boat, I simply stared at it before flicking my eyes up to his.

"It's lovely to see you again Jacob," and before he could part his lips to voice his reply, I leaned forward and took him in my arms – my chin neatly resting on his shoulder as I soaked in his warmth and his arms wrapped around me tightly. I was tiny in his grasp, smaller than I was in Jasper's or anyone else. He was tall and strong and his hold felt like a protective bear's. I could feel his hands relax and bunch the fabric of my dress on my back, feel him sigh and breathe with sweet happiness as he whispered my name in an endearing manner.

"Willa." Pulling back, he rested his hand against my cheek before pinching my nose in a childish manner. "I've missed you."

"And I you, Jakie." I teased and ruffled his hair before he stood and offered me a helping hand to pull me to my feet. When I stood, I suddenly felt like a baby bunny in front of a fully-grown lion. He held himself in a way that I didn't remember, a way that showed strength and maturity and –

"You haven't grown one bit, have you?" He said, looking down at me with amusement.

"Height doesn't define growth, if anything it gives me a wild and beautiful advantage in life." I told him, walking to the side of the boat where I sat as he sailed us back to shore.

"Oh? And what would that be, if I dare to ask?" His hair flew in the wind as the boat glided over the water like it was its master.

"I'm afraid it's a secret that only belongs to us shorties." He released a small puff of laughter.

"So, will be riding any horses any-time soon?" He asked, and the second he mentioned it, my cheeks blushed in an embarrassed pink as I buried my face into my hands, tilting my head to the side before I peeked through the gaps in my fingers.

"If you're referring to – "

He delicately interrupted me, making my hands drop from my face as I stared at him with a wild sense of happiness, shame and nervousness. "To the time where you ran away in tears from the horses and hide behind me like a small mouse?" He titled his head to the side as a crooked grin tugged the side of his lips upwards. "Or how about the time where you attempted to mount the horse but ended up siting backwards on her? Or –"

"Jacob Black if you as so continue your tale of my disastrous and shameful history with horses then I'm, I'm…" I paused, attempting to look tough as I bit my lip and searched the boat for something to playfully threaten him with. "I'll push you into the water."

He raised an eyebrow, amused at my feeble attempt to seem tough. "Oh? And leave me to sharks?"

"I'd save you before any harm came to you." My voice suddenly fading into a light sense of seriousness and meaning as I looked at the boy who I viewed as a little brother. He had grown so much. His heart, his mind and soul and body…I took a step towards him, taking his free hand and watched as his hand engulfed mine. Flicking my gaze up to his I said softly, "I promise you."

He shook his head, mirroring my intensity and then magnifying it. "No, I promise you."

* * *

Sitting next to Bella in the driftwood circle, I sucked at my finger coated in peanut butter – the jar neatly balanced in my lap as I dove my finger back in to take another taste. The clouds seemed to now dominate the sky as we ate and talked and nestled into one another for warmth. I had placed my raincoat and beanie back on, yet shivers still rattled me as Bella and I used each other for warmth. My hair, long and wet dried slowly as I suddenly longed for a cup of hot coco, a fire and a warm snuggly blanket to read under.

Seeing Jacob sitting across from us, he offered me a warm smile before approaching both Bella and I with a relaxed walk and the intention of providing us with both some company and warmth. I felt Bella tense next to me, but Jacob's eyes didn't leave mine as he slowly unzipped his hoodie and handed it over to me in a warm gesture.

"Like I said before, I'm returning a favor." My fingers hesitated before I took his item of clothing. I wanted to refuse, to keep him warm and safe like the little brother he used to be. But as he towered over me, it was suddenly as if he was offering me no choice.

"Thank you, Jakie." I told him softly, wrapping the warm fabric around me before handing him the peanut butter. He raised an eyebrow in bewilderment before I spoke, "a comfort for a comfort."

His fingertips brushed mine as he took the jar and sat next to Bella. "Thank you, Willa. Although given how precious this is to you, I'll be careful to not eat it all." He offered me a small smile before I shook my head and he focused his attention on my darling cousin.

"You're Isabella Swan, aren't you?" He spoke softly and lightly, as if he were afraid of starling her in some way.

"Bella." She sighed and I rested my hand against hers in a soothing manner.

"I'm Jacob Black," and like he did with me on the boat, he held out his hand in a friendly gesture. "You bought my dad's truck."

I watched as Bella's eyes widened with recognition and her body relaxed against mine in relief. "Oh," she took his hand in hers and shook it quickly. "You're Billy's son. I probably should remember you."

Wanting to give them some privacy, I slowly and delicately removed myself from their discussion and walked along the beach – my feet bare as I held Jacob's hoody tightly around my tiny frame. The garment of clothing drowned me, and in that way…I adored it. His hoodie fell past my knees as I walked and day-dreamed of what lay underneath that mysterious bed of water. I wanted to swim in it once more, to taste and breathe in its salty sweetness. But I knew I shouldn't and I knew, despite the shark ignoring me, that I should not tempt the lords of the sea once more.

 _"I love the stars too much to be frightened by the darkness." I had told Jasper one evening as we walked through tall grass that lay vulnerable underneath the open and watchful sky. "I'm afraid I could never be frightened by it, for the darkness seems to know more of my secrets than the sun."_

 _"I envy you." He whispered next to me, his fingers plucking a long grass up from its roots as he fiddled with it in his fingers. A feeble distraction. I stopped walking, facing him as the moonlight illuminated his and I's features._

 _"What do you mean my darling?" I asked, looking up at him with puzzlement. He looked ashamed, as if in that moment he wanted to turn and run. But I wouldn't let him. I couldn't. I placed my hands against the backs of his, caressing his skin as I looked up through my eyelashes to capture his averted gaze._

 _"I don't fear the night, or the darkness but the stars…they're watchful gaze is too heavy on my shoulders to find comfort in them." He looked down softly at me, yet his eyes – behind those golden caramel orbs was a great deal of pain. "They judge me harshly and rightly."_

 _"Then they are blind because you," I went up on my tiptoes, placing a hand on his cheek as I seeped all my warmth into him. "Shine brighter than all the stars that have ever painted the sky." He leaned his cheek into my hand as if savoring my touch before it disappeared. "What is it that you did that makes you think the way you do?"_

 _He suddenly stiffened, pulled away and guilt pinched and stabbed at the insides of my skin like some unruly poison. "No, that was wrong of me to ask you that." I laced my fingers with his once more. "You once told me it was not your place to ask me what caused me to announce such things to you the night I was…and so I won't with you. I promise."_

 _I licked my lips as our eyes melted together and became one. As the stars flickered out one by one and the night sky became neither dark nor light, neither bright nor dim._

 _"Dance with me." His words caught me off-guard as he spoke with such an intensity that I had never heard before. "Dance with me and make me forget."_

"Willa!" The sound of my name retrieved me from that memory and I suddenly missed him more, as if that uncompleted memory triggered something within me, a need to be close to him and to wander this beach with Jasper by my side as the rest of the world melted away. Craning my neck, I smiled as I saw Bella and Jacob approach me, their hands nestled in their pockets and their shoulders scrunched together to keep warm. "Jacob was just about to tell me a scary story and I was wondering if you wanted to hear it as well."

"I'm really not supposed to say anything." Jacob said, biting his lip as if he was suddenly put in an uncomfortable position. I felt sorry for him, felt his anxiousness as he leaned from one foot to the next.

"Well, I want to know." Bella chimed in, her curiosity seeping off her and into his eyes. It was as if this story held the information she needed to solve the final piece of her mystery. Her mystery…the Cullens.

"Do you know any of our old stories, about where we came from – the Quileutes, I mean?" Jacob began and I instantly wanted to block out his words. If this had something to do with Jasper, with his family then shouldn't we wait until they chose to reveal it. I felt wrong, as if suddenly I was in the wrong body and place and nation. I wanted to leave, to lose myself in ignorance until Jasper decided otherwise but, Bella placed a hand on my back, encouraging me forwards as we walked along the beach and I was forced to listen.

"Not really." Bella admitted, her curiosity leaking through as she walked close to him.

"Well, there are lots of legends, some of them claiming to date back to the Flood — supposedly, the ancient Quileutes tied their canoes to the tops of the tallest trees on the mountain to survive like Noah and the ark. Another legend claims that we descended from wolves — and that the wolves are our brothers still. It's against tribal law to kill them." When he talked, slowly and calmly and proudly, when he mentioned wolves…that pulsing intrigue within me was unlocked and set free. This was his story after all, not another's. But as he spoke, I couldn't help but wonder if he knew, if his legend of wolves somehow tied to a ledged of healers.

"Then there are the stories about the cold ones." His voice lowered as if it were a danger to simply speak the words he was about to.

"The cold ones?" Bella asked, her intrigue now fuelling my own as I remained quiet and attentive as we walked – my toes gently glided along the sand.

"Yes. There are stories of the cold ones as old as the wold legends, and some much more recent. According to legend, my own great-grandfather knew some of them. He was the one who made the treaty that kept them off our land. He was a tribal elder, like my father. You see, the cold ones are the natural enemies of the wolf—well, not the wolf, really, but the wolves that turn into men, like our ancestors. You would call them werewolves."

"Werewolves." I echoed him, stopping in my tracks as I suddenly gazed at him in a new and foreign way.

"Yes." He repeated, suddenly caught off guard by my intense expression. I was fascinated, beyond so as if he were but a rare and ancient thing suddenly standing before me.

"Werewolves have enemies?" Bella asked, breaking Jacob and I's gaze.

"Only one." He said looking at me hesitantly as my lips parted with fear. Monsters…they had to be what he was referring to but,

"Did, did they have any allies?" I suddenly asked softly, desperate to know but timid to show my curiosity as I kept my voice naïve and innocent.

"Only one." He repeated but his tone held no aggression or hatred or grudge. It was soft, delicate as if he held these allies in great respect…in great love. I needed to know.

"Who," I swallowed deeply, as if knowing would further cement what I was., who I am. "What were they?" I asked in a fragile manner.

He smiled fondly before he spoke a single world that offered me both a strange sense of comfort and fear. "Healers."

I sucked in my bottom lip, but before I could ask…Bella took a single step forward and parted her lips. "Healers?" She encouraged, shaking her head in innocent bewilderment.

Jacob smiled, as if all the seriousness in his voice had faded and all that was left…was a child's memory of a fairy-tale. "Legends tells it that healers are like the fairies of this earth. They are immortal, have blood that can heal any wounds or sickness and they, well let's just say that they are basically like angels – hunted angels."

"Hunted?" Bella shook her bed, "who are they hunted by?"

Jacob took in a deep breath as he lowered his voice once more. "The cold ones. According to legend, a healer's blood does not only heal any mortal wound, but it can make the cold ones stronger, stronger than any other species or resource in this world can. But what makes them most dangerous and precious for a cold one, is that if too much of a healer's blood is consumed by them… they can become human. The amount of blood depends on how long they stay that way. If they want to become human forever, then – "

"Then they would have to drain the healer completely." I finished for him, my hands quivering and shaking at my sides as suddenly I felt cold, colder than I ever had before. Memories of that dream, of what my parents went through. But what were these creatures, these monsters.

"A life for a life." Jacob nodded, taking a step towards me as if he noticed the change in me, that cool, wet and invasive fear that suffocated me. I flicked my eyes to him, smiling a false smile as I tried to sooth him, sooth myself because I knew this wasn't legend. This was real, too real.

"The cold ones are traditionally our enemies so because of that, we protect the healers. According to stories, it was said that healers and wolves developed these special bonds, not romantic or caused by imprinting but…protective. Like a sibling bond which would occur after either the wolf's first phasing or the healers." My breath hitched in my chest at his words, at the intensity of how he looked at me and in that moment, I felt more vulnerable than I ever had before. Did he know who I was, could he feel my racing heart and thunderous pulse. He swallowed deeply, "So you see, cold ones are our one and only enemy but this pack that came to our territory during my great-grandfather's time was different. They didn't hunt the way others of their kind did — they weren't supposed to be dangerous to the tribe. So, my great-grandfather made a truce with them. If they would promise to stay off our lands, we wouldn't expose them to the pale-faces."

"If they weren't dangerous then why?" Bella asked and I knew then that she was considering this story as real, examining and analysing it in every way she could. I took a step away from her in that moment, not wanting her eyes on me, as if she could see past my pupils and into my mind and to what I am. But she didn't, for healers and wolves didn't matter to her…simply the monsters, simply the cold ones.

"There's always a risk for humans to be around the cold ones, even if they're civilized like this clan was. You never know when they might get too hungry to resist." He gave us a playful wink but neither Bella nor I found amusement in it any longer.

"What do you mean, 'civilized'?" Bella questioned in a puzzled manner.

"They claimed that they didn't hunt humans. They supposedly were somehow able to prey on animals instead."

"Animals." I released in a breathless gasp as memories of that deer, of those bites…I could feel my blood thicken, clot with nausea as it prickled and stung and burned. I didn't want to hear the rest of his story, I couldn't…I felt myself taking a lightheaded step back as suddenly the world became too loud, too bright.

"Yea like deer, mountain lions, bears." Jacob looked at me with delicate concern and confusion. I could see him take a step towards me, see him reach out a hand but Bella's words drew him closer to her and me - further away from everything. I always thought this story was about the Cullens but to hear it aloud….

"So, how's does it fit in with the Cullens? Are they like the cold ones your great grandfather met?" Bella asked.

 _"I don't fear the night, or the darkness but the stars…they're watchful gaze is too heavy on my shoulders to find comfort in them." He looked down softly at me, yet his eyes – behind those golden caramel orbs was a great deal of pain, a great deal of shame. "They judge me harshly and rightly."_

He couldn't be.

And as Jacob spoke his reply….

"No, they are the same ones." As his words poisoned the air, I wanted to run, to run and swim and escape this world and dissolve into the nothingness that crafted this air. He couldn't be… "There are more of them now, a new female and a new male, but the rest are the same. In my great-grandfather's time, they already knew of the leader, Carlisle. He'd been here and gone before your people had even arrived."

"And what are they?" Bella finally asked. "What are the cold ones?"

"Your people call them vampires."

* * *

I watched numbly…silently as crimson liquid snaked around my finger and coiled around my wrist. How could such a simply thing, such a slippery and mundane thing be so alluring, so electric and mystifying in the eyes of another? Moonlight rippled against my blood, casted an intriguing shine to its already silky surface. It continued to caress and dribble down my skin like thick and deceptive water. I sat on the windowsill, my legs tight against my chest as my gaze, my mind and focus was stolen by that liquid that had rendered those to their knees, that conjured beasts and fools alike.

It twisted and twined around my hand, pitter pattered on my white night-dress as I…I tried to imagine myself as it's slave – as a slave of blood and power, a creature of unrestrained need and desire. I could smell its sweet metallic scent, it's rose-like smell that had been coated and sealed in an iron casket. But it's taste…I licked it, sucked at it as I tried, needed to know and feel and understand what was so mesmeric, so hypnotic and additive about it. Yet as it coated my lips and tongue, as it slithered down my throat and warmed my insides…. I couldn't, I couldn't comprehend.

Sighing, I fell back against the frame of the windowsill and stared up at the sky like a lost little soul. My lips were crusted with blood and my eyes – those wide and wild and curious eyes of mine were wet and salty. I couldn't swallow and breathing, it became a rather tricky and forced task. I wanted to ask a moon the question, to ask if there was anyone out there, anyone who was looking at the moon and the sky and the stars the same way I was on this frosted evening? But every time I silently asked that question, every time those words threatened to spill over those cracked and bloodied lips of mine – one set of eyes, one face and one set of hands flickered across my vision like a ghost.

Ghost.

My darling enigma whose cloak had fallen and what lay beneath, I was not sure if my mind could believe it. He did not look like a monster, did not sound like one nor touch another like one. He was so gentle, so delicate and…

I leaned back, slunk against the cool white panel of the windowsill as I remembered the fragile brush of his fingertips against my arms. My fingers went to that spot, traced the patches of skin where his fingers had once caressed and teased and grazed. No, it was just a story, a strange and quirky myth to scare the children and…but no.

Sliding off the windowsill, I tiptoed lightly across the room to blow out the single candle lit in my room – it's wick withering and leaning as it struggled to sustain its purpose. Jasper was different, monster or no, vampire or no – he could not be one of those creatures that spilled the blood of the innocent, that scampered across the earth and ocean like a proud demon trapped in the skin of a hypnotic angel. No, not him – he couldn't be yet…

Slipping into bed, I breathed in deeply and slowly – closing my eyes in a what I knew would be a feeble attempt to win over the Gods of dreams and bliss and forgetfulness.

* * *

As Monday, broke and chimed into its lethargic existence, as I washed and clothed and fed myself…as I looked and searched and silently pleaded to those hidden stars – he was not there. Yet – his presence that skittered and scuttled through my blood…was. As I walked the halls in isolation, as I sat in class as a silent and thoughtful thing, I could feel him. But I was not sure if it was out of need or fear, of repulsion or desire or both and all.

And as I danced in class, as I gave myself to the music and unspoken melodies of my pulse and secretive wishes and dreams – I could feel his ghostly touch on my skin, his lyrical and delicious voice that lifted me out and up and towards impossible possibilities. I needed to see him, if not to settle or shatter my curiosity and suspicions but to remove him from being a constant within and around me. Yet a part of me suddenly became to doubt if that would ever be possible.

When the sun faded away and surrendered to the moon's mighty glow – I slipped out into the night once more and a part of me wondered whether this would be the last time I would do so – the last time I would allow myself to follow that sweet and ethereal song that pulled me towards him.

My bare feet were light and nimble as I ran, ran towards those abandoned stables that had sealed and blossomed and destroyed my parent's lives. For no matter, how much they loved one another, no matter how entwined their souls became and their hearts nestled inside the other's body – it was not enough, and it never could be – not to save their lives.

My heart, once a small and dainty thing now beat thunderously inside me, as if in the next few seconds it could shatter through my ribcage and race ahead of me to find the one it sought and needed and desired. My delicate white night dress rippled around me in the breeze as my hair danced like feathers and whirling chains of petals and leaves and –

I came to a slow stop, my feet suddenly feeling every rusting leaf, every blade of grass and grain of dirt as my eyes, as my heart…

He stood with his back to me, but I knew he could hear me, could hear and feel my racing heart and flushed blood as he turned with gentle and unknowing eyes to face me. A crooked smile decorated his lips yet – when he saw me, when he looked into my eyes, looked inside me…

Everything changed.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Hi everyone! So there you have it! The next chapter will be Willa and Jasper's reaction which will commence the more darker, intense and heated part of the tale. So the mood will shift slightly from now on but I hope that is alright! Please review and comment and maybe guess what will happen? I love you all so and I can't wait to see what you all think!**

* * *

 **K.C.96: Thank you so much for your review, it truly made me smile with glee! Goodness that is such a big compliment because I absolutely adore Luna! I hope you like this chapter and I can't wait to see what you think of it!**

 **JessEwa26: Hi you! Thank you so much for your beautiful review! You are truly so sweet and kind :) There will be lots more interactions between her and the other Cullens as they each form unique and special bonds. I'm so excited to share those with you. I hope you liked this chapter and I'm so excited and intrigued to see what you think of it! Much love, Lisette**

 **SecretNerds: Thank you so, that is so incredibly sweet of you! I truly hope you liked this chapter and I can't wait to see what you think of it!**

 **Snow Black: N'aww thank you so much! i adore your enthusiasm and jeepers it is so inspiring and motivating to me! I'm so happy you enjoyed that chapter so and I hope you like this one equally as much or if no a little more! Her relationship between her and Carlisle will definitely be one of the stronger ones in the Cullen family so I'm very excited to explore that one more deeply! I can't wait to see what you think of this one!**

 **Littlecosma001: Thank you for your review, you are truly the sweetest. Whenever I see I have a review from you I become so filled with wonderful excitement and curiosity and intrigue! I love how you try to guess what happens next and I can't wait to read your review for this chapter. I truly hope you like it! And goodness it's so hard to answer your theories without giving away spoliers but I absolutely adore them so! Thank you once more and I can't wait to see what you think of this one!**

 **AmberinAshes: Hiya! Thank you so much! You're review was so sweet and I truly hope you love this one just as much!**

 **BelgiumBear:Hi you! Goodness I don't even know how to thank you for your review! That was so incredibly sweet of you! I hope this chapter truly lived up to your expectations and I can't wait to see what you think!**


	13. Chapter 12 - Part II

**Author's Note: Hi everyone! Thank you so so much for your most beautiful reviews, follows, favourites and reads! They truly make my day sparkle and shine! As promised, here is part 2! I hope you enjoy it! It was a rather, emotionally draining chapter to write as it had so many emotions but I hope it was worth the wait and now everyone can finally see Willa's reaction! This is the chapter I've been most wanting to read but jeepers, it was tricky! I hope you all love it and I can't wait to see what you think! Happy Reading!**

"What's wrong?" His voice was too fragile, too delicate and silky as it drifted from his throat and melted in the thickening breeze. "You're trembling." I…I could feel every grain of frost, every chill and shiver that scuttled along the ground and seeped into my skin like a cold, wet and slippery thing. He did not look like a killer, but rather…I took a dainty step forward, my breath hitching in my chest like a silent warning that pinched my heart and prickled my eyes.

 _"Dance with me." His words caught me off-guard as he spoke with such an intensity that I had never heard before. "Dance with me and make me forget."_

But I could not forget.

I could feel my fear, feel it quiver inside me like a wingless bird who shuffled through the snow and the hale and the rain as a hopeless little thing. My lips parted, wet and sweet and moist and…empty. For my words, my voice and mind were suddenly robbed from me with this desire to have this one last moment, this one last moment of two uncomplicated souls but…I walked towards him – my heart trembling like a rose in the wind as he held me gently in those eyes I no longer knew if I could trust. For they were too soft, too filled with an emotion that should be a stranger to a creature like him. Licking my lips, my finger's twitched at my sides as they craved one final touch of that boy I had learned to care for.

Just…once more.

Stopping before him, I titled my neck back – unable to look into those eyes, unable to…my fingertips traced the sleeve of his white shirt, the material crisp and cool and pure. Pure…my breath hitched once more as my fingertips stuttered against the fabric, stuttered against the beautiful falsity of it. For he wasn't pure, he – I glided my fingers up to his shoulder, to the folded collar of his skirt and that small spot where one's pulse would beat and blossom in it's delicious vitality. But as my fingers grazed his neck, as they pressed against his skin in the lightest of pressures…

I felt my eyes sting, felt them blur with that wet salty liquid that slid down my cheeks like melted diamonds. My eyes flicked to his in that moment, flicked towards the exposed pain and shame and truth that had once laid buried beneath those golden irises.

"What," my voice was little, soft and afraid and fragile like broken glass, "what are you?"

"Do you not know?" His voice mirrored mine, mirrored that fearful fragility and naked vulnerability.

"Tell me." I whispered, my fingers hiccupping against his skin as I held his gaze, as my eyes widened and withered at his absolute brokenness.

"Vampire."

His skin, icy and glacial snapped at my fingertips. I pulled my hand away, allowing it to fall helplessly to my side as my fingertips burned and stung and quivered and –

I shook my head, shook and shook it as I whispered a soft chorus of "No." He couldn't be but…at the same time I was beginning to wonder if I always knew, always wondered and pondered what creature's soul danced within him. I wasn't sure if I should run, if I should drop to my knees and cry yet…the way he looked, the way his features seemed to fracture and look away with that disarming shame and guilt and I…I couldn't bare it. I –

"1863." He spoke, his eyes fractured and weak and fragile as was his voice. His whole body, his whole soul and heart seemed to shrink in that moment, seemed to wither and droop in front of my eyes as if he were but a mere man, no – a boy, a lost boy whose guilt was too much for him bare. "I was changed in 1863." I remained silent, a quivering little thing as his words crumbled in the air and reached out to me in some desperate and final gesture. "I was 19 years old."

19 years old. My heart thickened, it's beats weakening in this heavy way that left it slow and then – paralyzed. He was just a boy, just a –

"When I was human, I lived in Houston, Texas. I was almost seventeen years old when I joined the Confederate Army in 1861." His back straightened as he spoke, as if he were shifting into that solider he once was. The Texan twang that used to pinch and lace his words thickened in its vulnerability as suddenly, it was as if I was looking at a broken and wounded soldier who had never found his way back from the battlefield, from the darkness and endless abyss of haunting terror.

"I lied to the recruiters – told them I was twenty. My military career was short lived but very promising. I was the the youngest major in Texas Cavalry, not even acknowledging my real age." He paused, taking a hesitant step towards me yet stopping as he saw my fear, saw me quiver and wrap my arms around myself in a feeble attempt to steady my trembling heart. Tears fell from my eyes, dribbled down my cheeks like liquefied pearls but – I couldn't be sure of their meaning. For in that moment, I was not sure if I was crying for my fear, for my life or my parents or both or…for him.

His eyes softened, pleaded with me as if he were but a breath away from cracking if I refused him – if I ran as a mere squirrel.

"I was riding back to Galveston after evacuating a column of women and children when I saw them. Three women on foot. I assumed they were stragglers and dismounted at once to offer them my aid. I had not been taught to fear women, but to protect them. A few days later I…" He hesitated, as if recalling that moment so vividly in his mind that it rendered him speechless. "I began my new life."

And so, he told me his story, every detail, every emotion and I…each word he spoke, each syllable that crumbled against the breeze and brushed my skin like black smoke, I felt myself draw further and further into that dark sticky pit.

"Please." The word rushed out of me in one soft breathless motion as he shed his tale from his soul and bleed it into mine. "You're…you're frightening me." Yet despite my whispering plea, despite my silent tears and quivering body…he did not stop. I could see his agony ripple of him, see his pain and shame and anguish and – "please." I whispered once more, taking a dainty step backwards as my lips parted and drew in the too cold air.

"In so many years of slaughter and carnage, I'd lost nearly all of my humanity. I was undeniably a nightmare, a monster of the grisliest kind." A strange flare of that beast emerged in his eyes, as if it was licking the topaz walls of his eyes as it silently waited to be released from its cage. I watched in fear as it taunted me, teased me as ghostly screams and pleas chorused through my mind of his victims - of him. My breath hitched, hiccupped and pinched my insides as it swam within me like a thick toxic poison. I couldn't look at him, couldn't – "I could feel everything my prey was feeling. And I lived their emotions as I killed them."

As he spoke those words, as he – that small lost boy flickered in his eyes. That boy who could no longer bare his past in isolation, could no longer –

"I can feel everyone's emotions, manipulate them to my own bidding. But you –" He took a step towards me, a step full of curiosity and bewilderment and need. As if I was some rare creature that held the key to his undoing, held the key to his – "I can't," his words became lost, broken as his eyes pinched and strained as if he was searching for something. "I can't feel a single emotion within you, just like my brother can't read your mind and my sister can't see you in her visions. But I see you. I always see you. I can see every feeling, every tear and smile." He looked away, looked to the ground and studied it as if it held the answers to some unsolvable problem. "I live every day in a climate of emotion. For the first century of my life, I lived in a world of bloodthirsty vengeance. Hate was my constant companion. It eased some when I left Maria, but I still had to feel the horror and fear of my prey."

Prey – I shook my head, my eyes looking anywhere but him as I felt myself drowning, as I felt my tiny feet shuffle backwards and quiver with an emotion that I could no longer identify. I wanted him to stop, for the stars shine to drown out his words yet tonight, they had abandoned me. The moon, the watchful dead – I had never felt more alone, more lost and afraid as my soul bleed and whimpered and withered.

"It became to be too much." His voice cracked, yet his eyes – I knew they were watching me, trying to hold onto me in some silent yet desperate way. "The depression got worse, and I wandered away from Peter and Charlotte. Civilized as they were, they didn't feel the same aversion I was beginning to feel. They only wanted peace from the fight. I was so wearied by killing — killing anyone, even mere humans. "

"And healers?" My voice was small, softer then a whisper and gentler then the caress of a feather but desperate – a broken plea that drifted in the breeze to graze his parted lips and seep into his mouth and throat and memories.

He took another step towards me, his eyes softening like melted clouds as his hand twitched at his side, twitched as he restrained from touching and wiping away those shivering tears. Did he know? My healer's blood felt light, as if it was trying to hide and dissolve into nothingness from his watchful gaze.

"Never. Never did I touch an angel of life until I met you, until you –" So he knew…so he – "You have no idea what it is like to be in your presence. You are my opposite…pure in ways that no other mortal or immortal could ever be and it burns, scorches me skin, soul, mind and heart…if I had breath then you would rob me of it. For you, Willa Aurora Fawn, shine too bright for a darkened and damaged soul like mine to be unscathed."

After he spoke those final words, after they drifted from his lips like some strange and voice robbing spell that flew and lurked within my throat – he turned away from me. He walked with heavy steps that seemed to drag at the leaves and dirt and fallen flowers. He had robbed me of my voice, robbed me of my breath and heartbeat as in that moment I did not know how to react. He's everything I'm supposed to be against, everything I'm supposed to hate and fear. Yet when I finally looked towards him properly, when my eyes grazed his back…I did fear him, but I did not hate him.

"I have lived for over a hundred years. I've done everything…seen everything but –" He turned towards me, his eyes, his face – like shattered ice. "I've never been close, to anyone." I felt my heart crumble inside me, felt it warm and cool and then warm once more. My lips parted in defeat, as for the first time since his story bleed into me…I took a single step forward. My feet like a whisper on the ground, like a mere brush of wings as I took that one motion towards him. My body still quivered, my eyes still leaked but – their purpose…it changed. Something within me changed.

"I'm not asking you for anything and I – I know this is wrong." His voice was so soft, so helpless and defeated as his words caressed my shivering heart. "But these past months with you…they have been the best I have had in my whole life." The corners of his lips twitched upwards as he gave me a crooked smile, a sad and crippled smile that faded too quickly. "Not once in my life have I ever felt something so soft, felt so much –" His sentence remained lost as he turned from me once more, as his shoulders fell and then stiffened as if his military training banged against the inside of his skin to keep strong.

"My whole life I have willingly enslaved myself to war, to blood and violence – to that wicked hunger until I met Alice." He paused, his hands going to the buttons of his shirt as he slowly undid them one by one.

"After a century of instant gratification, I found self-discipline . . . challenging. I still haven't perfected that. I can still hear their screams, still feel everything they felt and …this is what I am."

My eyes widened when I watched his shirt fall and reveal a body painted in bite marks and I – my hands went to my parted lips as in that moment I…I couldn't breathe. My breath dissolved in this black crumbling powder against my lungs, and it burned… ached as tears fell in a new and quickened stream, as my body trembled and my strength vanished. I had never seen something so broken, so abused and damaged and…

He turned towards me, his eyes softening at my reaction of pure ruin. His chest…every inch…across every sculpted muscle and flesh -

"Battle Scars." He whispered, the words drifting from his lips, through my fingers and down my throat – clawing at my insides as I stood a heartbroken thing in front of him. I couldn't move, couldn't – this twisted pain weaved and whirled in my blood and bones, this savage trauma and fear and hurt and anger and – my hands fell from my lips as I stumbled another step towards him, as I wanted to reach out to him, to –

"I never lost a fight yet…they paint every single part of me." His gaze bore into me, as if it ripped apart my flesh and bone to see me bare. My breath became light, frosted as I shook my head in tiny motions of disbelief – of terror. He parted his lips once more, taking a step towards me as something softened within him, as something stretched out from him to caress my pulse and – his eyes snapped away from mine, adverted to the moon and stars and then flicked to his shaking hands.

"I can hear their screams." He whispered, his voice raw and broken as it barely clung on to the night sky. "Feel their fear and pain and it never –" his hands clenched into two fists, his nails digging into his flesh as a tiny 'stop' escaped me. But he didn't hear. "It never goes away, never stops never –" He shook his head more and more, shook his body and hands and – "even drinking animal blood and trying, trying to be…. but it doesn't stop…it didn't until I met you." His eyes flicked to mine once more and I did not dare move as he rushed towards me, stopping but a mere inch away as my breath clouded against his bare chest and my eyes caressed his skin. His whole body was trembling, more and more as time slipped by, as he looked at me like I was some fragile glass doll that he dare not touch, dare not break. I could feel his pain, feel that self-loathing and shame ripple of him and graze my skin. But I couldn't move, I couldn't do anything except look up at him as he looked down at me.

"You're all I think about. And this with you, it's wrong. I know it is. But no matter how hard I've tried, this feeling that I have for you, this emotion that is so warm, so soft and gentle and new…it doesn't stop. I'm drowning in you Willa, I'm drowning." My heart beat faster and faster as he spoke, as his essence and mind flooded into mine and I became tethered to him, "drowning in you, drowning –" Jasper stumbled backwards, his hand slapping his face as he turned away from me in panic.

"Jasper –"my voice was soft and speechless – a mere butterfly in the wind as I watched him pace. Something began to consume him, something frightening.

"It never stops, their screams, their pain, their –" I watched with fear as his hands clawed at his head and hair and he let out a thunderous growl. "And you –" He lifted his head from his hand, his eyes savage and wild. "You remind me of everything I'm not, everything I can't have, haven't and will never have nor be." His voice cracked, was this broken string that I couldn't gather or save or, "you're smile, your sweet heartbeat and absolute purity…it kills me, burns me and I…I'm addicted to it. I'm addicted to you and I've tried, I've tried not to be but –" He slapped his face once more, my tears burning my cheeks as they cried for him and him alone. "You make me forget, make me believe when I shouldn't, when I have no right." His head shook as my eyes wide and wild drank in his untamed emotions. "I have no right, no right!" He released a raw and scarping scream as he beat and punched and slapped himself. Muttering and whispering and hysterically speaking of his wrongs and past and their pain and screams and –

"Jasper." I swallowed deeply, "Jasper!" I ran towards him, trying and needing and I had to stop him, I had to. I tried to grab a hold of him, to touch his skin and sooth him, to speak my truth and heal him, to care and love and – tears flowed from me as I tried to caress him, touch him, talk to him –

"Jasper –"my fingertips grazed his back, brushed it in the lightest and most gentle of ways I had ever touched anything. And the moment my skin connected with his, the moment I – he turned, swinging his arm into my shoulder as he shoved me to the ground in one violent and uncontrollable sweep. The dirt and grass and stones slammed into me hard, rattled my bones as my vision blurred and my flesh ripped. But I didn't care, I didn't care about my pain, I didn't care about my spilled blood…no, the only thing I cared about was him.

I looked up, my hair falling from my face as I saw him look down at me with absolute shock. He stumbled backwards, his hands shaking as they ran through his hair and then gripped and dug viciously into his scalp.

"I'm sorry, I'm…I'm so sorry, I –" I ignored his rush of apologies, ignored his constant repetition as I got to my feet and rushed towards him like nothing had happened. I needed him to hear me – to see me and feel me and to know…

"Jasper." He kept looking away from me, backing away as panic consumed him. "Look at me." I said desperately, trying to catch him, trying to, "Look at me, look at me please." My hands brushed his shoulder and arm but they kept slipping from him. He was moving too fast, too lost in his own – "Come back to me." I cried out, finally managing to wrap my tiny hands around the sides of his neck, my thumbs caressing his chin as his hands raised up in a surrender motion – afraid to touch me, afraid to – "Come back to me." I whispered once more, and then again and again until he stopped fighting me, until he stilled and his eyes met mine with heartbreak.

"Look at me," I whispered, my tears hanging helplessly against my parted lips as my hands, tiny and dainty caressed his trembling cheeks. I needed him to calm, needed him to see but – he wasn't. He seemed so lost, so trapped and consumed in his own guilt and rage that I…no, I could do this. I could heal him, I had to. I tried to sooth my quivering heart, tried to calm my shaking hands that trembled against his neck and checks and my eyes…the needed to remained fixed on him, needed to look him in the eye and not his skin, not his torn and scared flesh that –

"My darling enigma," I whispered, trailing my fingertips across his cheek. "Come back to me, feel me." I pressed my body against his, wrapped my arms around his chest as I seeped my warmth and love into his shattering soul. "Feel me." Yet despite his tremors stilling, his hands remained raised. Pulling back, I titled my neck back to look up into those eyes that had once held me, had once caressed and soothed my heart like no other could and would. "Don't slip away." I whispered gently, my hair sticking to his chest as I – in the slowest of motions, guided his hands, his arms to wrap around my tiny form. "This is real, I…I am real. Feel it…" I felt his hands brush the fabric of my nightdress, "feel me." His fingertips pressed harder, pushing the fabric of my dress against my skin as in that moment…he held me.

An airy gasp escaped his lips as he felt me, as his hands – his fingertips, trailed up my back, traced my shoulders and stroked my arms until…my finger's twitched underneath his touch, quivered as our fingers entwined and he looked at me with those big honey eyes.

"This part of you," I ran my thumb over the cool surface of his hand, "I can handle this, I can –" I took a step forward, resting my cheek against his chest as my nose nuzzled against him. "I can handle this, I promise you." I couldn't hear his heartbeat, couldn't hear the blood underneath his skin but – it suddenly did not matter. This overwhelming rush, this desperate need to be close to him, to help and heal him…it consumed me, claimed me whole as his skin burned against mine in that icy way. He had never known softness, never known love or warmth and I, I couldn't bare it. He was not a monster, and a part of me began to think he never was. But simply a lost soul, fighting and doing the only thing he knew how to survive. And in that way…I suppose we weren't that different.

I felt his body slide down mine, his finger's fall through mine like melted ice as he sank to his knees and looked up at me with an expression that was void of all rage and beastliness.

"Why?" He whispered, bewilderment glittering in his eyes. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because you are not a monster." I whispered delicately, resting my hand on his cheek. "Because I believe in you." I could feel my heart bleeding, seeping its warmth through my skin and into his. "You fought the person that you were, you stopped when no other immortal like yourself could and I –" I sunk down to my knees, the grass strangely soft as the air sweetened and drifted. "When I think about how you grew up, when I think about what you went through and who you are now," I licked my lips, tasting its saltiness from my tears as I…I could hear my heart speaking to me, hear my memories singing those sweet tunes of Jasper and I. "It makes me proud. You –" I rested my hand against his chest, against where his heart would have once rested. "You make me proud."

"I shouldn't."

"Shh," I released in a fragile manner, laying my fingers against his lips. They were so soft, so delicate and untouched. "Listen, listen to my heartbeat." I let my fingers fall from his lips as I guided his hand to rest against my heart. His fingers were hesitant, afraid as if he would break me. "Feel it."

"It's…" He paused, his eyes focused on my heart as his hand trembled. "It's calm, it's – "

"It's not afraid." His eyes snapped to mine, holding me in that moment as I held him. There was no fear left in me, no lurking darkness that had once snapped at my veins. For all that was left was just me and him. Jasper and Willa. Two souls without titles or rank or species. "I'm not afraid of you."

"You should be." His worlds sunk into me with a thick heaviness. Yet I shook my head.

"No. Not anymore." I told him, feeling my lungs rise and fall softly as I held his gaze.

"I'm afraid of you." He suddenly said, his words catching and squeezing my heart as it hiccupped with surprise.

"You have no need to be." My words coated his skin, laced his tongue as they seeped down his throat like warm hot chocolate.

"How do you do that?" He asked, his hand falling from my heart as his forehead dipped and grazed mine. Our skin hissed and sighed against one another.

"Do what?" I asked, my heartbeat quickening as my eyes fluttered and widened with innocent puzzlement.

"Make me forget, make me feel…like I'm something that I'm not." His hand raised and hovered next to my cheek yet…he did not dare touch me, was too afraid…too frightened by his almighty strength and my sweet fragility.

"I just make you feel what you truly are. I just feel you, just –" My fingers danced over his chest in shy and nervous patterns. "I just see you for what you are."

"And what is that? Who am I?"

My breath hiccupped in my chest as I sunk further to the ground, as I became smaller and smaller until my heart whispered through my lips. "You are my angel."

"Angel of darkness?" He questioned but I shook my head.

"No, my angel of light." And before I could take another breath, before I could blink and quiver or tremble underneath his gaze…I titled my neck up and kissed him.

His lips were cool against mine, soft – like melting snow as my lips caressed his. I could feel them tremble against mine, feel their fear and uncertainty as his body became rigid and afraid. I let my lips linger against his, let them brush his like a summer's breeze as I gazed up into his eyes. They held this beautiful bewilderment, this curiosity and surprise that leaked into mine and cracked him open. He had never been close, never felt this tender softness that only a lover could give, only a lover – I felt my heart rise in that blossoming way as I kissed him once more. My lips were wet, sweet and soft and gentle against his quivering ones, against his hesitant mouth that seemed frightened to let himself go, to let himself believe this was real. But it was, and I knew in my heart, I knew in that moment that I…despite his past, was a few breathes away from loving him.

I pulled away, my fingers dancing up his arms, along his shoulders and resting against his cheeks. I was fragile and composed, vulnerable as I parted my lips and breathed, as I let him into my heart and mind and soul. He must have seen something within me changed, must have heart the sudden bloom in my heart and pulse as his eyes widened and withered and softened.

"Is this real?" He whispered, his hands grazing the fabric of my nightgown. "Are you real?"

I licked my lips as his heart, like mine, opened and drew me in as he realized what I had. "I'm real, this," I nuzzled my nose against his, allowing them to kiss and explore each other as my hands fell to the nape of his neck. "This is real." I felt his hands hiccup against my back, felt them tremble and then steady as love glazed his eyes and our breaths entwined.

"I'm afraid." His voice broke, crumbled against my lungs as I felt his heart collapse and flutter. "I'm afraid of hurting you."

I shook my head, knowing that to him that may seem silly. For he, in all his might and strength – was an undefeated vampire and I…I was but a tiny healer, a mouse in his shadow, that flickering firefly in his night sky. "You can never hurt me." I whispered with delicate desperation. "Now," I breathed, my voice shaking as I drew at my courage, as I looked into those eyes that held me up in this moment. "Let me heal you, let me –" I paused, looked up at the stars and…wished. For I knew that when I spoke those final words…I would forever be his. And so, I waited, wished and longed for the stars and dead to listen to my plea. For them to hear my loyalty and love from them, for them to feel and know his because when I would speak those worlds, when I would reveal my heart to him in one of those breathless gasps…my destiny would be forever changed, would be forever bound with his. And then – I licked my lips one final time, breathed in that one final time before I let myself become enslaved to my heart. "Let me –" I whispered, "let me love you."

And before I could blink, before I could breathe or hear the stars sing in my ear…he dipped his head like a cautious solider and pressed his lips against mine. I felt my heart blossom and grow and nestle in him as his lips moved against mine in soft and sweet tender motions. His hands no longer quivered, were no longer hesitant as they pressed against me and held me to him. His scent drowned me as our lips danced and melted and pressed tightly against one another. His hands were still gentle against my back, as he held me like his glass healer and kissed me like his precious lover. Each kiss, each brush of skin against skin as my fingers played with his hair and his hands held me close…it was like nothing I had ever felt before, nothing like I had ever dreamed of as his love slipped past my lips and into my heart.

His lips, delicate against my skin, traveled down my chin and neck as if he were kissing a single fallen rose petal. Each kiss was dainty, soft and fragile yet he did not stop, and I…I titled my neck back, my lips parting as he kissed my neck in those fragile motions before…I felt his chest rise and fall in with fearful heaviness as he stopped, as his lips lingered against my pulse as his cool breath blanketed my skin. My fingers ran down his back as I pulled away slightly, as his eyes looked into mine and my hair teased his exposed chest.

"I can feel your heartbeat." He whispered, "I can feel your pulse, feel it blossom for me." He nuzzled his nose against mine before his fingers grazed and held my chin in the gentlest of ways. "I won't hurt you." He pressed his lips against my nose before resting his forehead against mine. His hands trembled a few beats against my back before he pulled me closer to him. "I promise you."

He dipped his head lower, his lips barely a millimetre away from mine. Our chests gently pressed against one another as my heart beat thunderously to escape from me and nestle inside him forever. My eyes were wide as I looked up at him, wide and innocent and pure. My hands quivered against his back yet his…his were steady as he spoke those three words that unraveled me completely and wed my soul to his.

"I love you."

And without another moment of hesitation, our lips collided in this sweet, gentle yet frenetic way. Our whole world suddenly disappeared, faded away as our hearts and love bleed and blossomed and consumed one another. As we loved, and kiss and forgot everything but each other, everything but this moment.

This one precious moment of a vampire and a healer in love and nothing…nothing could break it.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Hi everyone! So what do you think? Was it okay? There was a lot of emotion in it but I hope that's alright! I was honestly terrified posting this chapter but I really hope that you all enjoyed it! I can't wait to see what you think of it and what you think will be next in store for them as it is only getting started! Until next time, I wish everyone a very Merry Christmas for those who celebrate it and a wonderful happy new year! The next chapter will be posted within the first week of January! I love you all! Much Love, Lisette**

* * *

 **JessEwa26: Hi you! Goodness you are so sweet! I hope you liked this chapter and it leaves you in a happy mood! I'm so excited to be writing more of Willa and Jasper as a proper couple in love now! I can't wait to see what you think of it! I hope you have a beautiful Christmas if you celebrate it! Much Love, Lisette**

 **Dunesque: Thank you so much for your beautiful review! It truly made my heart melt! I love that you love that about Jasper and Willa. Their relationship is one that is and will blossom to be very deep and passionate and filled with love and warmth! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I can't wait to see what you think! Oh and what you said about redemption...that will be a very strong and key part of what is to come! Much Love, Lisette**

 **Maxie01: Hi! Thank you so much for your review! It made me smile so much! I hope you liked this chapter and don't worry, Willa doesn't hate him, she loves him but they do have a lot to go through which I can't wait to share with you! I can't wait to see what you think and I hope you have a beautiful Christmas if you celebrate it! Much Love, Lisette**

 **LMarie99: Thank you so much for your review! What you said was so kind and sweet. I hope you like this chapter! It was rather an emotional one but I hope that's alright! I can't wait to see what you think! I hope you have a** **beautiful Christmas if you celebrate it! Much Love, Lisette**

 **Littlecosma001:Hi! I absolutely love your reviews! I'm so happy that bit surprised you! There's a lot more to be revealed so hopefully there will be new surprises coming. I'm super excited about writing the New Moon part as it will really give Willa the chance to develop her bond with the wolves! As for who she'll develop close sibling bonds with...I'm afraid you'll just have to wait! Yep so Jasper knew that she was a healer, but you'll find out more about why and how in the next chapter! As for Edward, he can't read her mind, just as Alice can't see her in her visions! So it makes it a little easier for Jasper and Willa to have more of a private relationship if that makes sense? But it also has a lot to do with her being a healer and what that entails! I really hoped you liked this chapter! I was so nervous about posting it but I hope it is alright! I can't wait to see what you think of it! I absolute love reading your reviews and goodness I can't begin to describe how excited I get when I see you have reviewed! I hope you have a beautiful Christmas is you celebrate it! Much Love, Lisette!**

 **BelgiumBear: Hi you! Thank you so much for your beautiful review! It truly made my heart melt! I adored writing Jacob and Willa's scenes and I hope you are looking forward to seeing more of them as I have plenty in store for both of them! I hope this chapter was everything you hoped it would be and I can't wait to see what you think of it! Much Love, Lisette**

 **AmberinAshes: Hiya! Here's the update! I hoped you enjoyed it and I can't wait to see what you think of it!**

 **connieee: Hi! I'm so sorry for the cliffhanger, I just couldn't think of any other way to end Part 1! That's so sweet of you to say! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I can't wait to see what you think of it! I hope it was worth the wait! Much Love, Lisette**


	14. Chapter 13

**Author's Note: Hi everyone! I'm so sorry for my late update! Some unexpected family things happened which meant I didn't have time to write but I'm all back and so excited to continue this adventure! I hope you like this chapter and are looking forward to all the things I have planned! I really hope this chapter isn't too disappointing! I was so afraid to post it, but I promise the coming ones will be better!Thank you to all the beautiful stars that have reviewed, followed and favorited! You have truly made my day and year so far! As usual I'll leave review responses at the bottom! I can't wait to hear what you think! Happy reading!**

As the stars shone and flickered and faded into that light blue mist…we became hypnotized by the other as we spoke and danced and kissed…kiss…I had never been kissed since this evening, never felt another's heart swallow my own and caress my quivering soul. He was so gentle, so fragile as we lay against the cool grass and shed our deepest secrets, wishes and dreams. For in that evening, it was just us…just two souls, sewing that silky thread that would bind our hearts forever.

Yet when the sun broke through those twisted branches, a sudden heaviness that was sour to taste filled me whole. I knew he wouldn't be coming to school today, that he had to return to his family but – that selfish part of me wished he could stay, wished and begged those silent God's that we could run away as two individuals without a past, present or future. But as he walked me to the edge of the forest, as our fingers grazed and our words and stories soared…I knew our future would be one of complications, one of….

My tiptoes brushed the edge of the forest, brushed the sunlight as I turned to face him with wide and sad eyes. But before I could speak, before my lips could part and my heart stutter…he smiled that crooked grin and brushed his lips against mine. I fell against him, drunk on the sweetness of love as his hands held me against him. My fingers scuttled across the crisp fabric of his shirt, pressing the material against his back as we eventually ended our kiss and held one another in a silent but desperate embrace. He had no heartbeat, no breath…but he didn't need to. I could feel his hands tremble against my back as his chin rested against my hair. I felt so protective in that moment, so ready to step in front of any danger and save him from whatever he may need saving from.

His fingers brushed my chin as he pulled away and raised my head up for our eyes to meet. Our sadness mirrored one another, but we did not let it taint this moment.

"You are the embodiment of every dream and forbidden wish I have ever had, ever wanted yet dare not speak aloud." He whispered, my lower lip trembling as I raised myself up on my tiptoes and he bent down to kiss me. His lips quivered against mine before he pulled a mere millimeter away – my breath warm as it floated and caressed his skin. "Go." He whispered, "Bella and Charlie will be waking up soon." I shook my head, turning around to gaze up at the awakening sky before looking back up at him.

"It's rising too fast," the words were soft and broken as they spilled out of me. For I didn't want to leave him, not when...not when I had only truly just found him, claimed him as he claimed me.

Raising a hand, he caressed my cheek, his skin rough against me as he held me like a delicate flower. "We'll see each other tonight, I promise you." He said gently, his texan twang lacing every word. I wasn't sure why, but I was afraid to leave him, afraid to go back into that mundane world. For everything had changed, and I knew then that my life could never go back to how it was, and I did not want it to. Because despite knowing the complications that will fill our future, despite our differences and challenges ahead...we were better for having one another. Because just as I would save him, he would save me.

And so when I turned to leave, to wonder back down that familiar street to my house and then school - I knew I was leaving some part of me with him, just as I had some part of him, nestled deep in my heart...where no one else could see or know.

* * *

Dressed in a white, just above the knee dress, a mint green raincoat, and brown ankle boots – I nimbly walked down the busy hall to my next class. With a cup of hot coco in my hand, I quietly apologized to anyone I touched as I weaved in between them whilst lightly blowing on my drink. Although the sun was dominating the sky, it's warmth had not yet spread through the air. It was the class before lunch, and I couldn't help but grin in excitement for the class that I was about to attend – Environmental Science.

With the sun a rare occurrence here, our teacher decided to take us out on a field-trip to test the pollution levels of different bodies of water. It was only when we reached our last stop that I took off my shoes and curled my toes around a rock that if I jumped off from…would allow me to fall into one of the most beautiful and enchanting pools of water my eyes had ever seen.

But before I could, before I could peek over my shoulder and give Otto and Josie a cheeky grin and jump off the rock…. something caught my eye…something that I knew had teased the corners of my nightmares. Bellow, in the tree's surrounding the lake…were two red eyes. I felt my blood go cold, felt my heart shiver as I felt those red eyes slither inside me. They were familiar, nostalgic in some haunting way and I…

"I'll…. I'll be right back." I quietly told my friends who were too lost in their own game of twig made jenga to hear me.

Taking my shoes off, I carefully climbed down the rocks. Slipping a few times, dirt and leaves clung to me but I did not care…and despite knowing I should be careful whilst going down the slippery rocks…I couldn't tear my eyes away from those two red ones that stared back at me. I needed to know…. needed to know if it was someone from my dream, someone from my parent's past but…as I landed softly on a cluster of leaves, as I approached those two shrouded eyes with absolute hypnotic caution…there was something too familiar about them….to fresh in my memory, too real.

I wetted my lips as I approached the hidden figure…a man, no – a boy…my age. His eyes glowed red, yet there was something about the way those eyes pinched upwards at the side that I…

"Fitz?" His name was softer than any whisper - broken and helpless for it couldn't be him...it couldn't be.

My hand outstretched, about to brush those leaves and twigs and branches back when suddenly, I heard Otto call my name.

"I'll be there in a minute!" I called back, my heart beating thunderously inside me as I walked towards the forest. My eyes were wide, my hands shivering as I walked towards those two red eyes that pulled me towards him. He had control of my heart, of my every breath and movement and just as I was about to pull the leaves away...a strange coolness slithered through me and coated my veins - as if warning me to run, to turn away and never return to this area. But whoever this person, this creature was...he had me - his puppet.

Yet when I blinked, when I pulled away the leaves...no one was there. Those eyes had disappeared, and all that was left were two footprints of where this creature had once stood. I swallowed deeply, embarking further into the forest as if that would lead me to him, but it didn't. All that was left was that cool breeze and those two footprints. Looking down at them, I crouched down - running my fingers over the dirt and grass and imprint of his feet. This creature had been barefoot, and by the size of his feet...they were similar to Fitz's. I allowed my eyes to mist over as my fingers traced the imprint in the earth, allow myself to slowly remember that one time when -

 _The sun was bright and raw as it ruled that heated sky. We had been walking all day, Fitz and I...sharing stories as he told me of the wonders of science and I told him of the arts. We were opposites in every way, and I loved him all the more for it. Taking his hand in mine as we walked down the street, I squeezed lightly as I made him twirl me._

 _"Do you suppose you could come to house tonight?" I asked him gleefully, taking his other hand in mine as I walked backwards and he forwards. "I heard that mama is going to make her famous_ _ratatouille!" He smiled brightly down at me, releasing my hand to push his thick-rimmed glasses higher up on the bridge of his nose. He was dressed in a white shirt that was tucked neatly into his cream trousers._

 _"You really wouldn't mind?" He asked shyly, stopping as his shoulders slumped forward slightly. I smiled gently as his fragile and timid nature._

 _"Of course not, I wouldn't be inviting you if I didn't now wouldn't I?" I told him kindly. "Now, shall we -"_

 _"Stop!" The sudden loudness in his voice caused my eyes too widen and my body to stiffen. He never spoke like that, only when he was in the science lab or discovering something. A timid smile pinched my lips._

 _"What is it?" I asked, looking around me yet not moving my feet. "What have you seen?"_

 _"Don't move." He said excitedly, letting go off my hands and crouching down. His fingers brushed my bare legs. "Beautiful." He whispered in awe._

 _"Oh?" My breath hitched in my chest. "I've never heard you to be so forward before," I said with a cheeky smile, looking down at Fitz as his fingers continued to tickle my leg before he stood up with his hands before his face and his eyes wide with enchantment._

 _"No, look Willa. Isn't it beautiful?" I licked my lips with absolute hypnotism as in his hands he held the most exquisite insect I had ever seen._

 _"What," I swallowed back my fascination, 'What is it?" I asked with excitement, my fingers twitching at my sides as I wanted to reach out and touch it._

 _"It's a_ _Phyllium_ _giganteum." He said in awe, watching as the insect crawled over his hands. "Isn't it exquisite?" He breathed. "Did you know that that they only eat leaves of bramble, rose and oak but cannot eat undamaged or fresh new leaves?"_

 _"No," I sighed with a smile, looking into his eyes as he beheld the creature as if it was the most rare and precious thing in the universe. "I did not know."_

" _They need a lot of vegetation and humidity to survive so why, why don't we just place him on this tree right here or -" I could see the thought that lingered in his brain._

 _"You want to take it home don't you?" I asked sweetly, brushing the back of the insect ever so delicately._

 _"Yes, well, no but...but wouldn't it be a wonderful insect to study?" His eyes finally flicked up to meet mine. "No, no...you're right. I should better leave it in it's true home." I shook my head with the smile, my long hair waving down my shoulders and over my chest._

 _"My darling I did not say anything." I told him, watching as he placed the insect on a leaf._

 _"I know, but you were thinking it weren't you? Or at least say you were before I pick him back up and take him home with me." His eyes were soft, the color of a melted blue petal...endless in it's depth and mystery._

 _"Come on, let's go home my darling." I said softly, brushing a stray strand of brown hair away from his eyes._

 _"You are too you know." He suddenly said once we had nearly approached my house. I paused, looked up at him with curious eyes. He gave me that shy smile of his that I had come to love more then any other sight in the world._

 _"What?" I asked softly, my fingers playing with the flowers that we had picked on our walk._

 _"Beautiful." The word caught me off guard, but I wasn't sure if it was became he had said it, or because of the tone he used. He was so shy, so timid and polite and cautious when it came to the opposite sex. Yet now, when he spoke...when he looked into me...there was no grain left of the boy I called my best friend. His back seemed straighter, his smile wider and his voice confident. I suddenly felt my heart beat in a different way, it's notes changing to something I had never heard nor felt before. Fitz was my best friend, my only true friend that I have ever had. Yet something changed once he had said that, something unspoken and I was happy to leave it that way - silent._

 _I swallowed deeply, smiling shyly as if I had stolen his timid nature. But before I could turn back towards my house, before we could go on and make dinner...I couldn't stop myself from saying. "You're perfect, perfect with that irresistible and cosmic mind and heart of yours." He had never stared at me so long before, never looked so surprised and enchanted at the same time before, not even during his science experiments. And I suppose...in that moment, neither had I. "Come on, mama will be waiting."_

Flickering my eyes open, I looked back down at the footprints on the dirt that my fingers traced. I was afraid, not just of what that creature may be or who it was, but because some part of me felt like I had betrayed Fitz. Betrayed him by being happy, by giving my heart to someone else. I had never given my heart to Fitz, never kissed him or touched him with that romantic graze of fingertip against fingertip. But apart of me belonged to him, and I knew it always would. I felt a salty wetness prickle my eyes. I missed him, missed him so much that my heart ached and fell in my chest like some dead weight. He used to be my everything, used to fill my every thought and rule my excitement and intrigue. But now...he no longer had that power over me.

I licked my tears away that clung to my lips. It couldn't be Fitz, no...it was impossible. He was still in India. Safe. I must have just missed him so that my eyes must have conjured him. Shaking my head, I stood and brushed of the dirt and grass that clung to the skirt of my dress.

"Enough now." I whispered to myself. "Enough."

* * *

Once school had finished, I made my way over to the hospital – my feet bare as I peddled my bike and hummed softly to no one in particular. This afternoon, Bella and I were going to Port Angeles with her friends. But until then, I could not resist the pull of my heart to go to the hospital. It became stronger and stronger each day - that desire to help and heal people. It was consuming, drowning as I gave into it's call. I had lost sleep with all my nightshifts, but apart of me did not care. I felt selfish if I wasn't helping them, as if i was robbing them of something that was my responsibility to do. Yet despite loving it so, it felt overwhelming, frightening even.

* * *

When the time came to leave the hospital, I lazily draped my violin case over my shoulder and strolled out of the children's ward. It pained me to do so, to leave their small faces and fingers and spirits. I couldn't help but feel attached to them, to feel attached to that memory, memories...of my mother and I, volunteering at hospitals together yet now I knew, now I knew that she had not just been playing music and dancing. No. She had been doing so much more. When I rounded the corner to where the main entrance to the hospital was, I captured sight of Doctor Cullen. He was dressed in blue and white - his blond hair shining underneath the artificial light like some iced over sun. Hunched over a clipboard, I watched as his fingers ran over the page, as they traced certain letters and folded corners of specific pages.

Walking towards him quietly, I smiled brightly as he lifted his eyes to meet mine. They softened instantly, became tender as if his heart had swelled with care and affection.

"Hello." I said softly, the corners of my lips titling upwards as my eyes became light and bright.

"Willa, it's a pleasure to see you again." He placed his clipboard down on a nearby table and folded his hands in front of him.

Brushing my hair behind my ears, i nervously asked, "I was wondering if I could ask you a question?" He released a small puff of laugher, placed a hand on my back as he guided me over to two spare seats in the waiting room.

"Willa, you do not need to ask my permission to ask me a question." He said with tender amusement.

"I'm sorry," I stuttered out, my cheeks blossoming a faint pink in embarrassment. "Earlier, you said that you would maybe take me on as your student and I…" I brushed a stray lock of hair behind my ears. "It's just…every moment I am here, every patient I see…I feel this strong urge to heal them, to help them and I…I don't want to appear useless or –"

"You're not useless." He said with a surprisingly serious tone to his words. "You are the furthest thing from it."

"But," I paused, looking away with shame. "But I'm not healing anyone." I felt fingertips brush my chin as he lifted my head upwards to meet his gaze.

"Just became you aren't healing them physically, does not mean that you aren't healing them emotionally, mentally or spiritually. I think you'll be surprised on the affect that your presence has on these children." His words were soft, fragile as if he spoke a note too hard then he could crack me.

"That's impossibly sweet and generous of you to say." I replied, smiling bashfully as he rested his hand on my cheek for a moment before allowing his hand to fall to his lap.

"But?"

"But it's not enough. I want to learn, to know everything and anything there is to do with your profession. I know it is a lot to ask but I…"

"You're wish is my command." He said simply, the rest of my sentence not needing completion as he looked deep into my eyes. He was so caring, so compassionate and tender that I wanted to reach out to him and embrace him in my arms – for him to feel my warmth and shatter his coolness. He was a saint, and so I couldn't help but look up at him with complete awe.

"Do you really mean that?" I asked softly, "I wouldn't be a hassle or an inconvenience? "

"Never." He replied without hesitation. "Now, how about you come around to the hospital tomorrow night after your shift in the children's ward and I'll give you your first lesson."

The widest smile blossomed on my face as a small squeal escaped my throat and glee claimed me. I was filled with happiness, with gratitude as I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" I whispered against the crisp fabric of his white coat. I felt his arms wrap around me, felt him press me to him as I continued to smile and glow with that absolute bliss. I would finally get my opportunity to learn, finally be able to help people without secrecy or this magic that fluttered within me.

Pulling away, I suddenly had this overwhelming need to do him proud. Not only because of who he was in a professional sense, but because he was Jasper's father. Jasper...every-time I thought of him, every time his face misted behind my eyelids as I blinked...I felt this impossibly longing to be near him, to hear his voice in my ear and his fingertips dance across my skin. I missed him, missed him more and more as I said goodbye to Doctor Cullen and sat in the car with Bella and her friends as we drove.

* * *

As we drove towards Port Angeles, I couldn't help but remain a silent thing at the back of the car. I felt this immense gratefulness in my heart, but also a sense of betrayal. I knew what Doctor Cullen was, what his whole family was...yet...I breathed in deeply, trying to steady the stuttering of my heart as conflict squeezed it. I wonder what my parents would have thought, to know that their only daughter was completely in love with a vampire. I could feel my betrayal nip at my heart, but I tried to suppress it, tried to burry it deep down as they...he, was different. Different. We were different. Needing to feel my parents, to feel their love melt inside me...I closed my eyes and succumbed to a world of memories and dreams that were not my own.

 _Her back was cut into flimsy ribbons as loose flesh fluttered and quivered on Flora's back. She lay in a helpless heap on the floor of her rotting cell – her legs coiled up so her chin rested on her knees as her eyes glisten with both fresh and old tears._ _She had no idea of how long she had been here, of how much time had passed since she had been dragged away from her Silas who bleed into the monster's pit. She could feel her bones jutting out, feel her skin struggle to protect her faint beating heart as she wasted away days upon days on the floor of this cell. It was dark, with only the faintest dreads of moonlight flittering into the room._

 _She wanted to die, and a part of her wondered if she already had._

 _Footsteps echoed down the damp hallway, but she did not stir…did not have the energy too. She did not care anymore about her life, did not care if they would bite her or drain her. They only thing she did care about, was Silas. That was the one thing she could not bare – to see him in pain. And they knew that. Knew it and used it to their advantage, for their sick comedic pleasure._

 _The steps became louder and louder as they neared her cell, and she did not have the strength to even look up as her cell door opened and hands ran over her back, and shoulder and arms and then face. She couldn't respond to the touch, couldn't register to pick up the urgency and love in them. For she was too lost…to paralyzed and broken to even hear that sweet voice that came to her in her dreams._

 _Yes, she must be dreaming. For when she looked up at the man who now knelt before her, who's hands stroked her dirty face and matted hair…. she had to be dreaming. A small smile made her lips twitch as she stared up at her lover, at her Silas whose hair teased her cheeks and eyes drowned out her sorrows._

 _"What a beautiful dream." She whispered, her voice scratchy and dry as it suffered without water or food._

 _Silas shook his head, his rough hands cupping her face with panic and need. "No, no my angel. This is no dream." But she did not believe him, for, how could she? His thumb ran over her cracked lips. "You need to get up, now…while we still have time. We can get out of here."_

 _She licked her lips, but her saliva was little to none. "Are you real?" She whispered, doubt crossing her eyes as her eyebrows attempted to furrow together. But she had no strength._

 _"I'm real, this…this is real." He whispered, "feel it, feel me." He pressed his lips to hers, pressed them with passionate urgency and care as she moaned against his mouth and parted her lips for his tongue to enter. But he pulled away, brushing her hair away from her eyes and he silently pleaded with her to move._

 _"How?" She said, suddenly coming to her sense, suddenly feeling and seeing that this was not a dream._

 _"I made a key, two keys…I'll explain later but now we have to move. I'm not sure how much more time we have but –"_

 _"Your wrists." She murmured in disbelief. There were no metal bracelets, nothing and as she allowed herself to look at him closer…she could see he was healing. Every second, every moment…he was become healthier and stronger but oh so slowly…too slowly._

 _"Here." He moved away silently, pulling out an ancient key that opened her bracelets. Carefully he removed them, pulling out the spikes that had pieced her skin and poisoned her healer's magic. Flora let out a loud gasp, as her body began to tremble at the feeling of her blood waking up, of it starting to heal her and sooth her heart as if to say it will all be alright._

 _"We have to leave, now." Silas whispered, sliding his arms underneath her weak body as he lifted her up in one smooth motion. She weighed barely anything, and that terrified him. For when he opened the door to her cell, when he lay eyes on her broken body…he wasn't sure if he wanted this escape to be real if it meant seeing her that way._

 _Her head fell back against his chest as he held her, as he ran from corridor to corridor before kissing her nose and saying, "I made you a promise, and nothing in this world will make me break it. Even death." And with that, he continued running, running and running and running until they broke free from the monster's fortress and slunk into the shadows and darkness so they could heal and remember and love._

 _Love._

My eyes fluttered open at the sound Jessica's annoyance as she repeatedly asked and asked me a question until it woke me up from that dream that was not a dream.

"I'm sorry," I told her sheepishly, rubbing my eyes as I straightened myself up in my seat. "What was the question?"

"Did you ever go to a dance with a boyfriend or something? Bella said she's never which I find hard to believe as so many boys have asked her here." Jessica said skeptically, parking the car next to the dress shop that we would be going to.

"I told her, I didn't go out much. Still don't really like to." Bella said groggily from the front which made me smile and lean forward to squeeze her shoulder before falling back in my seat.

"I have been." I told Jessica honestly. "To a dance with someone, but he was not my boyfriend. "

"Oh? Then who was he?" Jessica asked as we got out of the car, the doors slamming softly as we began walking towards the store.

"He was my best friend." I told her, "nothing more and nothing less." Yet when I spoke that sentence, it felt like a lie...because despite everything...it was. For we were more then just best friends, yet what that 'more' was, remained, but a silent thing between us. And in that moment I couldn't help but wonder that if I had stayed in India, if maybe Fitz and I could have been something more.

"Really?" She asked, raising an eyebrow that she suggested she did not believe me, and I could not blame her.

"Really." I replied, and linked arms with Bella as we entered the store.

The dress store was small but sweet, as if it held a sort of vintage element to it. Neither Bella nor I tried on any dresses as the real reason we both came was to go to a book store together. We both sat on low chairs by the dressing rooms as we politely told Jessica and Angela what we thought of their dresses. For senior prom, I already had a dress that I was going to wear. It belonged to my mother and it was the most beautiful dress I had ever laid eyes on. It was the most delicate of blues, and the fabric, long and fragile was made from the most beautiful of tulle and lace detail. If an ocean were a dress then this would be it.

"Are you alright?" I asked Bella as we waited for both Angela and Jessica to re-emerge in their new dresses. I could feel her fuming, feel her anger and embarrassment as she sat rigidly next to me.

"Yea," she shook her said, knowing that I could see right through her. "No." She confessed. 'I'm still fuming over the rumor that Tyler spread about me and him going to the dance together." She offered me a lopsided smile. 'And I'm getting a little impatient about going to this bookstore." She held up the small piece of paper with the address scribbled on to it.

"Bookstore?" Jessica asked as she emerged in a pink dress. "What bookstore?"

"Well, we were really wanting to go to this one, if it's alright? We could meet you two at the restaurant?" Bella said, trying to hide her desperation to leave. She had never really enjoyed shopping and I suppose in that way she was my opposite. I adored clothes, adored the different colors and fabrics and shapes. Whereas to Bella…it was but a blur.

"You're really not into this are you." Jessica said disappointingly. Bella shook her head. "Okay well, let's meet at the restaurant in say an hour?"

"That would be great!" Bella replied, standing up motioning for me to follow.

We wondered the streets for a while, looking for the bookstore as we talked and laughed like no one existed but each other. I suppose that was one of the things that I loved most about Bella...her innocent ability to make me feel normal, to forget and relish this mundane moment of two cousins arm in arm as we walked the silent streets. When we reached the bookstore, it turned out to not be the one that we wanted, yet I was still intrigued by what it held. It was only when we left the store and went for a wonder that Bella asked, "how is volunteering at the hospital?"

"It's wonderful, near-perfection I suppose." I told her, looking at my feet as I walked. "I just wish I could do more, help more. I had this conversation with Doctor Cullen and…despite everything…. I think he is helping me open up some part of me I never knew existed. It's like he is blossoming a love for medicine in me."

"Medicine?" She asked, "I thought you wanted to go into the arts?"

"I do, but…don't you ever feel like you could be doing more? Helping other's more? I just want to learn and know as much as I can and maybe, maybe if I knew more I could have –"

"Willa," Bella stopped walking, taking my dainty hand in hers and swallowed it whole. "Don't finish that sentence." For she knew I was going to say my mama. If only I could have saved her…could have…I thought she passed from a brain tumor but now…after everything, I couldn't believe that.

"I miss her." I confessed softly. 'I miss her laugh, the way her nose crinkled as she smiled…. her never ending shine." I looked away, my breath stuttering as I tried to control myself, tried to remain strong in front of my little cousin. For I had to, I had to. "But Doctor Cullen, he's giving me hope in some strange way that I didn't expect. Just like today, I saw him at the hospital before I joined you and –"

"He was at the hospital?" I smiled at her innocence, tapping her nose lightly.

"Of course, my lovely, he does work there after all." Her eyebrows furrowed.

"But aren't his family away on a hike? Jessica said that whenever the weather is nice they go on these adventures."

"Maybe they came back early? I'm not sure my angel, but why does it concern you so?"

"I don't think that they are human." She whispered, shivering. "It just doesn't make sense."

"I know." I replied faintly and distantly.

"Have you, have you talked to any of the other Cullens?" Her question caught me of guard, made my heart pause as if it was suddenly afraid to be heard by anyone else but me.

"No," the word escaped me like some pink mist - soft and floaty as it drifted in the air between us. "I'm sorry." I looked away, my eyes becoming shy and nervous at the lie I had just confessed. But despite the guilt that nipped at my heart, I could not tell her. "They tend to keep to themselves." I said airily. "But Bella, I know this is about Edward and I need you to know, to believe in your heart that you have not done anything wrong." I took her hands in mine, allowed my fingertips to graze her skin as she beheld me. "That you are perfect and smart and beautiful and if he is avoiding you, then maybe it is to protect you? For there is no other reason before you, my shining star, are just that."

Her cheeks blushed an embarrassed pink, as if she was suddenly overwhelmed with flattery. "I love you." She said with a smile.

"I love you too, now shall we make our way back to the restaurant?" I asked, raising an eyebrow as I wrapped my arms around my body which began to shiver in the increasing cold.

* * *

It was only when we realised that we had gone the wrong way that a chilly bite nipped at the wind and blackened sky. We had been talking too much, getting too distracting in our own stories and laughter that the world around us became a blur. Stopping, I rested a gentle hand on Bella's arm and looked up at her with wide and worry filled eyes.

"I, I think we've taken a wrong turn." I tell her, trying to recapture our whereabouts. The streets were silent, empty and abandoned as street lights flickered weakly in the darkness. I felt Bella lean against me, felt her warmth and stiffness as she wrapped an arm around my waist and breathed out a small cloud of cool air. "Maybe, maybe we should go east?" I tell her innocently, looking down in embarrassment that I had been so foolish as to lead my little cousin to nowhere in particular. She nodded her response and seeing the worry in my eyes, she placed a kiss on my forehead as I shivered slightly. I never liked disappointing Bella. It was one of my biggest fears…and seeing that I had just done so…I trembled as I walked beside her, as we wondered the streets and darkness in hopes of recapturing where we were.

As we were walking down the street, a group of four men came towards us – an arrogant swagger in their step as their eyes moved to meet ours. They appeared threatening, as if intoxicated by either alcohol or drugs. Instantly, I wrapped my arm around Bella, pulled her closer against me as we walked towards them and they towards us. They looked so much like the man who had harmed me, who had attacked me in the night. And knowing that Bella was by my side, my fear seemed to escalated as my heart quivered and my body shivered. I couldn't protect her, I could not protect myself and suddenly…I had never felt so helpless.

"Hey there." One of the strangers called as they passed. I could feel his eyes linger on me, linger on my little cousin as if we were but a meal to them. My eyes were too shy to look up, too vulnerable and weak to meet theirs but I could hear them slow, hear the sounds of their rough shoes against the pavement soften.

"Hello." Bella mumbled, and my hand tightened around her waist. But we kept on walking, kept on going despite their laughing and calls for us to stop and join them. My feet, small and dainty, were taking three steps for every one of Bella's. We were moving fast and nimbly through the streets, but the sound of their laughter and shoes scuffing the pavement did not fade.

Pausing, I looked around us helplessly. There was nowhere to run, no way to escape and I…taking a deep breath I turned to Bella and grasped her shoulders – my eyes wide with panic and foolish determination.

"I need you to run." I told her softly, my hands stroking her cheeks as the wind whisked our hair together. "There's too many of them. I'll try and lure them away and you…you keep running my lovely." My voice was soft but quick, like broke petals falling in an uncontrollable wind. "Go find help, everything will be alright."

"No, I'm not leaving you." I pressed a finger to her lips. I had encountered these types of people before, and I couldn't let them touch her…couldn't let them hurt her and so this was the only way I knew how, no matter how silly and foolish it may seem. My need to protect her was too strong, too loud as it rang through my ears and heart.

"I'll be alright. Now please, go…. go and get help and I'll, I'll meet you at the restaurant." I didn't give her a chance to reply before I kissed her forehead and walked towards the men that approached us. I could see some one them ignore me, see with fear as he continued to follow Bella but I had the attention of most of them. I tried to ignore the bite of their eyes as I approached them, tried to remain positive and hopeful.

"Hello sweetheart." One of them said. He was taller than the others, young and rough with long hair and sharp stubble. I forced my eyes to meet his. There had to be some good in him, some grain that would let me go. "What's your name then?" He asked, stopping a few inches in front of me as his friends circled me. I had to remain calm, had to, I…" Answer me." His hand shot out and grabbed my chin, his nails digging into my skin as his eyes swallowed me whole. They were glazed, wild as he looked at me and his tongue slithered out between his teeth as he laughed. "I'm dying to hear what a beautiful thing like you sounds like. Doesn't she look pure boys? Pure and irresistible."

Swallowing deeply, I placed a hand on his wrist, pleaded with my eyes for him to let me go. "Please," I whispered. "Please let me go." I felt hands grasp my hips from behind me and silent tears ran down my cheeks. But Bella, she needed time, she needed to be safe. That was all that mattered. "What happened to you?" I asked him and the sadness in my voice caught me off guard. "Maybe," I swallowed my tears, swallowed my fear and shivering heart. "Maybe I could help you. There's so much more to life than –"

Before I could finish my sentence, rough lips smashed against my own. My eyes were wide as I struggled against him, against them as I felt their hands and laughs and dirty words strangle my heart. I was crying, struggling and fighting until I finally managed to slide down to the floor, crawl out between their legs and run. I could hear them shout, hear them chase me as I ran and wiped my sleeve against my lips to get rid of that taste and touch and…I had to keep running, had to keep my heartbeat strong but I was struggling. My body was shaking too much, collapsing too quickly from fear that I stumbled and tripped as I went. But I had to keep going, had to keep running even if I had no idea where I was. But at least Bella was safe. That was all that mattered, all that matters. I kept that thought pounding in my head as I went, as my heart bleed out from trauma and fear and sadness at the lives that those individuals must have had to corrupt them so.

As I rounded a sharp corner I looked over my shoulder, my eyes widening as I saw them running after me. And I knew then that I had made a terrible mistake in doing so, because the moment I looked back…was the moment I tripped and felt my flesh rip apart on my bare and exposed legs. I bit my lip as I stifled a scream, as I tried to scramble to my feet when a silver car suddenly sped into view and came to screeching stop. I tried to scramble back on my hands from the approaching men. I couldn't stand, couldn't as fear claimed me and the pavement cut my hands and legs open.

"Please." A feeble whispered escaped my lips when suddenly, the door to the silver car opened and gentle hands pulled me up and into the car. The hands were too gentle, too familiar to fight against as I soon found myself sitting in the backseat of the car, staring into the eyes of Edward Cullen. I took in deep and shaky breaths as I stared at him and him at me…as we beheld one another without touch and I could see his pain, see his anger and impossible restraint as he did up my seatbelt and moved to the front seat to drive away.

"Willa, Willa are you alright?" My little cousin's voice made me tear my eyes away from the back of Edward's head as I looked to where she sat in the front seat beside him.

"I…" my eyes darted down to my hands which were slowly healing. I quickly hid them underneath my jacket and gave her an encouraging smile. "I'm alright," I told her, but my voice was too shaky, too fragile that it suggested otherwise. "I see you managed to find someone to help." I commented softly, allowing my eyes to drift back to Edward who was watching me through the car's mirror. I wanted to reach out and touch his hand, to sooth him and his pulsing anger. I tried to soften my eyes, tried to hide the panic and fear in my eyes from what had just happened, but...I couldn't. And I knew that was fuelling his anger, seeing that broken fragility within Bella and I and...

"Yea, Edward was nearby and he saw me and that one guy who followed me and here we are." She said all of that with her eyes constantly flickering towards Edward.

Licking my lips, I leaned forward in my seat and placed a hand on his shoulder. He stiffened at my touch, and looked back for a moment to see me. His eyes were dark, wide and yet pinched with visible fury. "Thank you." I whispered gently, sucking in my lower lip as he nodded in response and I fell back into my seat.

"No." He hissed out, that one word venomous and threatening. "I should go back and rip those guys heads off."

"Um, no you shouldn't!" Bella quickly interjected, her eyes wide at his words. But Edward shook his head, his teeth clenched and his grip on the steering wheel tightening.

"You don't know the vile and repulsive things that they are thinking." He spat out, the car increasing in speed as his anger rose. I felt panic rise up inside me. His anger was consuming him completely, and I knew that by the look of my cousin…she did not know how to calm him.

"And you do?" Bella asked accusingly, her eyes wide as a mixture of shock and a challenge laced her words.

"Well it's not hard to guess." Edward replied, a crack of nervousness coming through. I knew he was different, knew what that difference was but Bella did not. And I knew it was not my place to tell, it never could be. "Can we talk about something else? Distract me so I won't turn around."

"You should put your seatbelt on." Bella replied quickly, her eyes remaining fixed on his.

A small smile broke across Edward's lips. "You should put your seatbelt on." Edward looked back towards me, his eyes softening slightly as he saw my quivering form. "Willa, my jacket should be on the seat next to you, if you're cold you're welcome to use it." He stated bluntly but carefully. Yet I ignored him, ignored Bella as I undid my seatbelt, leaned forward in-between the two front seats and placed a hand on his forearm.

"Edward, maybe…maybe you should slow down?" I swallowed deeply, my eyes remaining fixed on his as he drove. "Please." I whispered delicately, my eyes wide and innocent as my fingers moved gently across the fabric of his jacket.I could feel his skin tense, feel it stiffen and then slowly relax and calm as he pulled over and stopped the car.

Getting out in one fluid movement, I opened his door and crouched down before him. He refused to look at me, refused to loosen that clenched jaw of his. Licking my lips, I hesitated before I placed my shaky hand over his. His skin was cold, ice - frozen as my fingers drew small circles on the back of his hand. I parted my lips a few times, trying to find the right words to calm him, to thank him. His hands were smoother than Jasper's, younger in the way that had been less exposed to a world of violence and darkness. My eyes flicked to Bella, and I could tell she was just as lost for words as I was.

"It's sad." I whispered, flicking my eyes back to his hand.

"What's sad?" He asked a little too harshly, yet he did not remove his hand as I felt the weight of his eyes on me.

"What people must have been through to be like that." I winced at his sneer, my hands hiccuping against his skin as he released a mean laugh.

"It's not sad, it's repulsive." He spat, yet I shook my head. "You shouldn't be so naive, Willa." My eyes hardened at his statement.

"I think you should be saying that to yourself." I was surprised at the strength in my voice. "People don't just become like that, there is always a reason. Always, and you should know that." His eyes narrowed at my last statement, yet I did not care. "Yes those people are vile and horrible and...a whole bunch of other terrible words. But they need help, and I think it is sad that they lead lives they way they did that has resulted in this. They were not corrupted in isolation, they weren't born that way - something must have happened and -"

"Don't go near those people again." He interrupted, his voice slightly softer then before. "You can't help them."

"You don't know that." I said gently, but he leaned forward, so quickly that I would have fallen backwards had he not placed his other hand atop of mine.

"Yes I do, you know why?" My eyes widened at the darkness in his eyes. I shook my head, silent and quivering at what I found in his eyes. "Because they don't want help. You can't help someone who doesn't want it." I felt his hands tighten around mine, and I winced in pain as I was still healing, still - realisation glimmered in his eyes as he looked down to my crushed hand and instantly pulled away. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright." I whispered, slowly getting to my feet as Edward got out of the car. He towered over me, and I could see his guilt. He rested a hand against my arm - his touch so light that it barely pressed the fabric of my coat against my skin.

"Are you alright? Is there...is there anything I can do?" He kept his voice low, as if he didn't want anyone else to hear, as if suddenly a rare sense of tender care coated his words that his tongue had not tasted in decades.

I gave him a shy smile. "I'm alright." Yet I knew I wasn't. His words were true. How could I help someone who did not want it? I felt my heart tighten and then wither inside me like a dying flower. "But perhaps you could take Bella to dinner?" His eyes softened and smiled at my suggestion.

"But what about you?" He asked kindly.

"I'll go home with Angela and Jessica, I'm rather tired and I think an early night of hot coco in bed may just be the remedy that I need." He nodded in response, his hand squeezing my arm in reassurance. "If there is anything I can do, anything I can -" I went up on my tiptoes and placed a single kiss on his cheek. He jerked away at the movement, as if he had no experienced something like that before.

"You're too kind, I'll be alright. Now, take my darling cousin to dinner and -" looking behind him at Bella, I went up on my tiptoes once more and whispered in his ear. "And please make sure she eats and drinks enough." He could hear the motherly worry in my voice and gave me a reassuring smile as I fell back down to the balls of my feet.

"As long as you do the same." He said, opening my door for me so he could drive us to meet Jessica and Angela.

"I promise." I replied with a smile, a fake smile for my heart was too weak, too conflicted as it withered and drooped in my chest the whole ride to the restaurant and home.

* * *

With the moonlight blue against my skin, I ran through the forest, ran barefoot to those abandoned stables as his heart called to me and mine to his. The wounds on my hands and legs had healed, healed into that pale complexation that seemed to glow in the ever-watching moonlight. My dress pooled around me as I ran, as my loose hair swayed behind me like feathers in the wind as suddenly, my wide and innocent eyes captured sight of him. Leaning against a tree, a book in hand, Jasper was dressed in a black hoodie and track pants – his hair a beautiful tosseled mess as it fell into his eyes.

"Jasper!" I called softly to him, and without hesitance he closed his book and placed it on the grass.

"Willa," my name was sweet and gentle against his tongue, as he walked towards me, his eyes scanning over me whole before I collided into his chest with a dainty forced and wrapped my arms around his neck. I felt him hold me, felt him lift me of the ground as I buried my face against the crook of his neck. I breathed him in deeply with a gentle sigh. He smelted of old books, maple cinnamon and oak. I let my fingers play with his hair as he held me, as he nuzzled his nose against my cheek and sighed in relief and longing.

Placing me on my feet, we still held each other as I looked up into his eyes and shivered lightly.

"Something's happened." He exhaled, worry glazing his eyes as a repressed anger wrapped around his heart and squeezed. "You're trembling."

"Why," I took in a deep breath, biting my lip as I struggled to string my emotions into words. "Why are people the way they are?" I looked up at him with lost eyes. "I don't understand it, I –"my voice cracked as I looked away as I shook my head and replayed what had happened this evening, what had happened in the past and the terrors that plagued the world. "Why do people hurt one another? Taunt one another and find amusement in it?" I…" I swallowed deeply. "I convince myself that it is because they are lost, that internally they are suffering more than any other individual to perform such an act but when I look into their eyes, when I try and help them…heal their soul… they push me away, push the idea of being helped away and," tears slid from my eyes as I spoke, spoke in this broken way as my inner conflicts came spilling out. "I feel like it's my responsibility to heal the world, to help it blossom and bloom but how can I? How can I when people are so lost in this darkness, when…when they don't even know that they are lost in it? I'm afraid, afraid that – "

"It's not your responsibility." He interrupted me softly. He shook his head, searching my eyes as I held onto him, as if he was the only thing that kept me tethered to this world.

"But it is." I cried gently, my fingers holding onto his forearms as his eyes held me upright. "It's what I am. A healer and I…it's my place to heal the world. And I'm scared, I'm so afraid that I will fail." His hands cupped my cheeks, his thumbs wiping away my tears as determination filled his eyes, determination for me to not only hear but believe his words.

"You won't." He said, "You won't." I could feel the hardness in his voice, feel it break slightly as he pressed his forehead against mine.

"You don't know that." I whispered, my voice breaking as he nuzzled his nose against mine.

"Yes, I do." He pulled away, pulled away as his hands fell from my face and took my tiny hands in his. "Because you're not alone in this." And when he said those words, suddenly…I no longer felt alone. Because I wasn't. He was different like me, he knew my heart, he knew my differences, coiled up inside and around them to protect them. "Feel me" he whispered, using my words from the other night. He pulled me towards me, pulled me so close that my cheek rested against his chest and his fingers played with my hair. "This, us…this is real." He pulled away, searching my eyes as he said "and we have this moment."

"This moment." I whispered back, nodding my promise to him as he did to me before he bent down and pressed his lips against mine. His mouth melted against mine, just as our bodies did as I leaned against him and he me. I allowed my eyes to close, to get lost in his lips against mine and as they traveled down my chin, neck and shoulder before drifting back up to my mouth. He tasted so sweet, so addicting as he kissed my eyelids and my hands trembled against his chest with absolute overwhelming love.

"I wish we could just run away." I whispered, pulling away from him gently. "I think I've been running my whole life."

"I understand, I...I know." He replied without hesitation. "But we can't." Yet I could tell he wanted to, feel his body swell against mine in that need to leave everything else behind but each-other.

"I know," I replied with a small smile, leaning into the palm that caressed my cheek.

"I won't let anything happen to you. I promise you." His eyes were filled with this unspoken threat, this silent danger that mystifyingly fizzed within me.

But I shook my head, took his free hand in mine as I pressed it against his chest. "No, I promise you."

* * *

 **Author's Note: Hi everyone! So there you have it! What do you think?! I can't wait to read all of your beautiful thoughts and theories! I'm super excited for ya'll to read the next chapter where there will be lots more of Jasper and Willa interaction and heaps more! Thank you all so much for reading and I hope you all are having the most wonderful start to the new year! Much Love, Lisette**

 **LMarie99: Hi! Thank you so much! I hope you like this chapter too! I'm so sorry if it disappoints! I've been going through a lot personally but I hope it is alright! In the next chapter, there will be a lot more Jasper and Willa interaction where they have time to really talk about everything that has come out! I hope you are having the most wonderful new year and I can't wait to see what you think of this chapter! Thank you once more!**

 **Dunesque: Oh my goodness thank you so much! Your review made me so overwhelmed with happiness that I don't know how to thank you! I've never had confidence in my writing, always been shy but to read what you wrote...goodness I have no idea how to truly thank you for that. I can just only hope that you enjoy the rest of the story as much as you have enjoyed it so far! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I truly can't wait for you to see what is to come! I hope you are having a beautiful and enchanting new year! Much Love, Lisette!**

 **BelguimBear: Thank you so much! That was so incredibly sweet of you to write! I remember reading your review and my heart was so overwhelmed with happiness! I hope you enjoy this chapter too and I can't wait to hear what you think of it! I have so much planned for the next chapter and ones to follow!**

 **JessEwa26: Hi! Thank you so much for your sweet review! It made me truly so happy! I hope you liked this chapter! As for when other's find out about Jasper and Willa, that will come soon but it will be rather complicated and mixed! I hope you are having a beautiful and enchanting new year! Much Love, Lisette!**

 **Littlecosma001: Hiya! Thank you so so much times a million for your review! I love reading them so much and gah! Your theories and ideas and what you pick up on it's just incredible! I feel so blessed to have a reader like you and I really hope you liked this chapter and what is to come! When I read your review I honestly felt tears in my eyes! Especially when you talked about how I wrote Jasper! I was so nervous because I really wanted to capture his character and remain true to who he is so I hope it is alright in this chapter too! There will be a LOT more Jasper and Willa interaction in the next one! That's alright! I love questions! I won't be able to answer them all but I'll see what I can do! For the James question, I can't really answer that but as for is Willa like the wolves then yes she is in some ways! So she disappears from Alice's visions, Edward cannot read her mind and Jasper cannot feel or manipulate her emotions. Oh for that I mean he can see her pain in her face but his power had no effective on her. So I guess she is just very expressive! Oooh I wish I could answer your last question so much but I can't! What I can say, is that I'm looking forward to writing new moon even more then the twilight plot! I can't wait to see what you think of this chapter and I hope you are having a beautiful and exciting new year! Much Love, Lisette!**

 **islajune44: Thank you so much for your beautiful review! I always get so shy about positing and to hear you say that about my writing means the world to me! Thank you so! I hope you enjoy this chapter and I can't wait to read what you think of it! I hope you are having a beautiful new year!**

 **AmberinAshes: Hi! N'aww thank you so much! That was so sweet of you to say! I hope you liked this chapter too! There will be a lot of Jasper and Willa interaction in the next one so you have heaps to look forward too! Thank yo so much again and I can't wait to hear what you thought! Much Love, Lisette**

 **connnieee: Hi! I'm so sorry for my late update, I've been going through a lot with my family so I haven't had time. It was very sudden, but I haven't finished this story at all and there is so much more to come! I'll be posting once a week from now on so I hope you are excited about the coming chapters! And oh no, that's alright! I am not a native speaker either so I completely understand what it's like and your english is truly brilliant! Thank you so much for your beautiful review and I hope you continue to enjoy this story! Much Love, Lisette!**

 **JJ-SNAPE-96: Thank you so much for your amazing review! I really hope you liked this chapter and are looking forward to more! You are so sweet for what you said and I thank you from the bottom of my heart! I hope you are having a wonderful new year!**

 **TohruKur:Thank you so much from my whole heart! You're review left me speechless! I so hope that you enjoy this chapter and that it meets your expectations! You are truly so sweet and wonderful for what you wrote! I hope you are having a wonderful new year and I can't wait to see what you think of this chapter and the ones to come!**


	15. Chapter 14

**Author's Note: Hello my lovelies! Here is the next chapter! I just wanted to thank you all so much for reading, following and reviewing this story! It truly means the world to me! I've always believed that storytelling can spread so much light, happiness and escapism in the world and it makes me so happy and utterly blessed to see others enjoying this story! I hope you enjoy it! Much Love, Lisette!**

 _As night crept up into the sky, Flora bit her nails as a cool nervousness stuttered within her. He should have been home by now, before the sun withered away and the cool breeze flittered in the air. With a gentle sigh, she leaned forward on the wooden railing of the cabin's balcony, pressing her elbows against the rough surface as she shivered in her nightgown of pure white. It had been eight months since they had escaped, since they had found this small solace in the woods and built a cabin for two. But Flora knew in her heart that despite the time that had passed, despite the time that will pass – her mind could never heal. Looking down at her hands that seemed to now glow in the moonlight, her eyes stung at the sight of vicious scars that tainted her skin. She had worn the bracelet for too long, had her healer's blood paralyzed for too much time that even her magic could not fully restore her to what she once was._

 _She was thin, her spine gently poking out of her back like small waves in an unexplored ocean. Her hair was long, too long as it brushed past her waist in unruly waves. But she did not care, did not care for the scars that marred her body or the small cabin that was too cold during winter and unbearably warm in summer. The only thing she cared about, the only thing she could not forget…was the memories that flashed in sudden bursts every time she blinked. They held her mind captive, held her heart prisoner to the violence and abuse that those memories represented. And she was afraid, constantly afraid that one day, their little home, what they had built together…would be found and taken away._

 _That fear drowned her every time Silas was late home, consumed her until her knees shook and her body became sick with absolute fragility. It was no different this evening, this night. The dinner that she had prepared them was now cold and forgotten as she continued to bite her nails and tremble, quiver until she finally saw him emerge from the trees and stumble up the hill towards their home. An airy gasp escaped her as she pushed herself from the balcony, down the stairs and straight into his arms._

 _He held her gently as she kissed him, as her eyes ran over his whole body to see if he was hurt. He was too tired to kiss her, too weak to hold her properly as his hands skimmed the fabric of her nightgown. Pulling away, her hands shook as she saw how dirty he was. His face was covered in ash, and his hair, his long-tangled hair hung messily around his tan face._

 _"_ _What's wrong?" He asked her, his voice hoarse as he tried to pull her towards him, to feel her softness and warmth against him. "I promised I would always come back to you." He whispered, dipped his head low to capture her quivering lips with his. He hated how rough he had become, loathed how his skin scrapped against hers as if she were butter and he a knife. But he couldn't resist touching her, holding her as she was the only thing that kept him sane, the only thing that tethered him to this world and made him want to keep fighting, keep living and running and loving._

 _"_ _You're trembling still," he murmured against her lips. "I'm right here." But when she pulled away, when he saw how wet her eyes had become…he knew there was something she wasn't telling him. "What's wrong?" He asked, his voice helpless as he beheld her, as his hands bunched the fabric of her nightgown and anger flared in his eyes. If anything had hurt her, had –_

 _"_ _I'm pregnant." She whispered fearfully, tears spilling from her eyes as his breath caught and his heart jumped. She was afraid of how he would react, terrified of how they would protect their child, of what this meant, of what –_

 _"_ _That's, that's…that's wonderful." He stuttered out, stumbling as he replayed those words over and over in his mind, as he tried to block out the future, past and hold onto this moment. He knew what she was thinking, knew her fear because he felt it too, carried that same weight within him but…no, he would not let it taint this moment._

 _"_ _But what are we going to do? How will we protect our child?" She asked him softly, her voice so light, so gentle and feminine and delicate. But he shook his head, smiling at her like he had not done in since forever. He pressed his hand against her cheek, wiped away her tears with his thumb and smiled. Smiled, smiled and smiled._

 _"_ _Let's not think about that now, this is the best moment of our lives, the most precious one and…it's just you, me and our child. No past, no future, just now." His words coaxed a smile from Flora's lips, a smile that was true and radiant and made the hearts of men crumble to her will, just like his did every time he saw it._

 _"_ _We're going to become a family." She said through her smile, through her beam and glow and radiance. "A family."_

 _He returned her same feelings, her same overwhelming happiness as he said, "a family." And then kissed her, kissed her with a force and love that a day after working in the mines shouldn't allow. But his happiness gave him strength, gave him all he needed to lift her in his arms and lay her down on their bed and kiss her raw._

My eyes flickered open as a feeling of invasion, guilt and sadness clung to me like a second skin. I sat up in bed, drawing my knees up to my chest as my fingers shivered and my head dipped so my forehead rested against my knees – my hair pooling around me in a delicate mess. A part of me wished these dreams would stop, wished that they would allow me peace at night and privacy to my parents but…family.

 _Family._

I felt my eyes prickle and burn, leak as tears ran down my cheeks. Seeing their hope, their love and belief that we would have been a family…I could feel my heart crack as I let out a raw sob and my fingers clawed at my hair and scalp. I wanted them to be real, to feel their real arms around me and their voices in my ear. To have a mama and papa, to not be so alone…an orphan. I took in a shaky breath, wiping my tears away with the backs of my hand before I got to my feet and walked to the bathroom. Closing the door with a soft click, I filled the bath with cool water…sitting on the edge of it as I numbly waited for it to fill. I had this desperate need to be cleansed, to rid myself of any impurity that clung to my skin and nibbled away at it.

I felt wrong seeing what I did, invasive and guilty and…these weren't my memories to have. They shouldn't be…yet despite feeling that way, I also craved them, needed them. Because I desperately needed to know every part of their story and some part of me hoped and dreamed that maybe…just maybe…they were still alive. But if they were…then what kind of life would they have had, as a slave? A prisoner? Maybe it would be better for them to be dead. I bit my lip hard at that thought, rubbed my skin up and down with my hands as I turned the tap off, stripped off all my clothes and submerged myself into the tub of cold, yet clean and purifying water.

* * *

Walking through the school hallways, I felt different – as if something dark had touched my soul and lingered there…festering. My dreams haunted me, my healer's blood…fizzed with conflict, fear and responsibility. I felt like a shadow, a drifting wisp of smoke amongst the laughter and gossip of Fork's High School students. I hadn't spoken to Bella since yesterday, since Edward had pulled me from those attackers and victims of darkened pasts. I had gone to sleep before she returned, and left before she woke. After my bath, I couldn't go back to sleep, couldn't remain in the cool walls of our house. And so, I left, walked the halls of the hospital and allowed my magic to pulse with that need and desperation to heal. My hands had quivered, shook as I played my music to the patients. I felt as if I was failing them, but tonight…hopefully Doctor Cullen could help me, teach me despite what he was and represented.

I felt a rough shoulder slam into mine, slamming me into a locker as my hands reached out to lessen the impact. I murmured my apology, brushing my hair behind my ears in a shy gestured as I gathered myself. It was time for lunch now, the busiest time the hallways were full. I pressed my back up against the cool metal of the lockers as I waited for the business to dull. Yet as I waited, I felt fingertips brush against mine, felt that spark and coolness that froze over any fear. My lips parted with a tiny smile as I looked up to Jasper who stood next to me. To any other passerby, he looked as if he was reading over notes. But he wasn't. He tugged at my hand, pulling it behind his back as our fingers interlaced and our arms pressed up against one another.

I looked away from him, using my free hand to go through my bag as his thumb stroked the back of my hand in small soothing motions. Flicking my eyes up to his, he titled his notebook towards me, repositioning it so my eyes could see the words that lay there.

 _My darling Willa,_

 _Meet me in the music room?_

 _Yours,_

 _Jasper_

My hand squeezed his lightly, as his eyes slide to capture my nod. He did not smile as he let go of my hand, did not break his cool façade of neutrality as he walked away and towards the direction of the music room. I took a deep breath, counted to ten, and then followed him through the bustling crowd.

When I approached the music room I could feel my heart hammer against my ribcage with fiery desperation…with this overwhelming need to feel safe and forget. Seeing him leaning against one of the desks, I closed the door behind me with a soft click before I ran into his arms. Our bodies collided with a gentle softness as his fingers ran through my hair and held the back of my head and waist. I trembled against him, squeezed my eyes shut as I slowly allowed myself to realize that we were all alone, that I did not need to hold up any guards or facades. My fingers bunched the fabric of his sweater. I was afraid to let go of him, afraid that if I did I would go tumbling back into that word of shadow and darkness that seemed to drown me.

Yet he pulled away, cupping my face in his hands as I gazed into those two honey brown eyes of his. My lower lip quivered as he bent down, as he pressed his lips to mine and moved them in tender and loving motions. I felt my whole-body collapse against his, felt it melt into him as he kissed me gently. His lips were wet and moist, soft as his fingers tightened around me and pressed me against him. My hands trembled as they lay flat against his chest, as he pulled away and watched as I tried to recapture my breath.

"I had another dream." I whispered through my shaky breaths, my hands trembling as I gazed up into his eyes. I could feel my nose burn, feel my eyes glisten with tears as I struggled to keep my composure. My whole life I tended to keep my emotions contained, keep them my own locked away secret that was mine to carry and mine alone…yet as I stood here, wrapped tightly in his arms…I slowly felt myself unraveling.

"Talk to me darlin'" He whispered, his concern so evident in his eyes, so fragile as if he would break at the notion of anything hurting me. His hand hovered next to my cheek, as if he were suddenly afraid to touch me.

"I…I don't know how." I said softly, my lower lip quivering. "Is it…is it selfish of me?" I asked him.

"Is what selfish?" He asked, his eyebrows knitting together with confusion and worry.

"For me to share, for me to…to talk to you about my emotions, my feelings?" He opened his mouth to speak but I quickly continued on. "To burden you with this growing darkness that's festering inside me?" My voice was barely audible as I cried silently, as stray tears dribbled down my cheeks and leaked into my mouth.

He shook his head, beading down so he could look me in the eye. His large hands, flecked with scars and years of unwashed brutality and cosmic suffering, grasped my upper arms. I could feel his fingers tense, feel each one of them wrap around me as his grip tightened with this overwhelming sense of desperation and helplessness.

"I can feel everything that everyone in this world is experiencing, every emotion…every craving and silent desire or fear. And it kills me." He said seriously before releasing a helpless sigh. "But with you, I can't feel…" he shook his head. "I can't feel a single thing you're feeling, I can't change or manipulate your pain to make it lighter and that…that doesn't just kill me. It rips me apart." His voice cracked as he held on to me tighter, as his eyes narrowed as if he was trying to look inside me. "But from all my experience, from all my gift has taught me…I know it is so much better if you don't hold your emotions in. Don't let them fester because if you keep them secret, if you keep them hidden…they'll eat away at you until there's nothing left."

I felt my heart weaken at his words, felt my body crumble as if it wanted to be held tighter and closer to him, to feel our hearts reach out from our chests and embrace spiritually.

"I feel so lost." I whispered, my lower lip trembling. "I…I don't know how to live in this world." My voice cracked, quivered like a stray feather floating helplessly and in isolation in the wind. "I keep having these dreams of what my parents went through, I keep seeing their pain…feeling it. And it's killing me. Biting and snapping at my heart and when…when I see those children in the hospital, when I watch the news and see how people can be so cruel to other human beings and animals…everything seems so dark, and violent and I…" I looked away from his eyes, looked to the floor as if I was afraid he could see my bare trembling soul – raw as it quivered with sensitive vulnerability. "All I want, all I have ever wanted before I even knew I was a healer is to heal the world, to sooth shattered souls and make people feel that they are not alone. That they are loved and that magic truly exists. But when I take a step back," I stepped out of his arms. "When I see the scale of suffering in this world…it terrifies me. Because I don't know how to stop it, I don't know how to help people. I can't walk through a hospital without feeling like a failure because helping one person doesn't seem enough…it can't be enough it…"

"Willa," Jasper exhaled, taking a cautious step towards me as I spoke.

But I went on, continued as I looked everywhere but him. "I know my purpose is to help people, but I don't know how. I don't know how when…when…"

"Willa, stop." His voice was gentle yet sharp, like a crusted over petal that was wilting with age yet desperately trying to cling on to its qualities of enchantment.

"When there's not enough time, there's not enough time to help everyone, not enough power and I…what good am I? I have this power, this magic blood yet it's not limitless. I'm not the best student in school, I'm a dreamer and an artist but that's not enough…that's…"

"Willa." Jasper grasped my wet cheeks in his hands, held me tightly as his voice cracked through me like some spontaneous snap of lightening. His hands were firm on my cheeks, and his eyes…those honey eyes seemed to darken, harden into this impenetrable force. "You," He swallowed deeply, his mouth opening and closing as he searched for the right words. "You're…you're just one-person Willa, you're just a girl."

I shook my head, "no, I'm more then that…I'm a healer."

"You're a girl first." He told me, "one single individual amongst billons of people. It's not your responsibility to save the world."

"But it is." My voice was weak, so pathetically and embarrassingly weak.

He shook his head. "No, it's not. You may feel that way, but it's not true. You say that your purpose is to heal other's shattering hearts, and that's true. But you need to do it one at a time. You are not a failure, not even close. And you know why?"

"Why?" I asked, tears slipping down my cheeks.

"Because most people would never think what you do. They would never have the ambitions that sculpt your purpose and make your heart so darn pure." I shook my head at his words, feeling my heart crack and splinter at the overwhelming pressure and despair. Despair in not only my own abilities, but how the world was…what it could be like in the darkest of corners.

"The world is lacking love Jasper, I've seen it…I feel it." I told him, feeling his hands relax against my cheeks as he wiped away my tears.

"I know," he whispered, pressing his forehead against mine. "I feel it too, every day in those around us. The whole world hungers for it, craves it. You crave it."

"Crave love?" I whispered, looking up at him with big innocent eyes. "More than anything. I don't have a mother or father…I don't really have friends. I'm all alone. But it's that loneliness that makes me want to remove it from others. It's that pain in me that makes me want to heals others… so they don't have to feel what I have. So, they don't have to be alone."

"You're not alone, Willa." He whispered, pressing his lips against mine. "From the moment you were born, from the moment you took your first breath…you've never been alone." His words were so tender, so pure and real as his Texan accent coated and smothered every one of his words. "Because I've always been here, living, dying…I've always been here." I released a soft gasp at his words, felt my heart collapse inside me as he held most if not all my weight up in his arms.

I shook my head, licking away the tears that clung to my lips. "You're not alone either." I told him gently, our lips so close that each time I moved them, each time I spoke a word…they seemed to slip from my throat and instantly glide into his. "Never again."

And before my heart could even beat one single note, he pressed his lips against mine. He was more forceful, more desperate as he clung to me and kissed me raw. I felt his tongue lick my lips, politely seeking entry but not doing so unless I granted him permission. I helplessly opened my mouth, sighing and leaning into him as we kissed in this dance of shadow and fire.

"I've never felt so protective, over any body before." I whispered against his lips, pulling away to see his eyes. He was trembling, as if trying to restrain something inside him yet I did not know what.

"Make me a promise Willa." He whispered. "Promise me to take it one step at a time. Promise me, that saving even just one person…is enough. And that although I know you will try and save the world…. promise me," he licked his lips, taking my hand in his and pressing it to where his heart had once drummed. "Promise me that you'll protect your heart."

"I promise you." Yet I wasn't sure if I meant it.

* * *

The rest of the day had blurred by in this exotic and desperate smoke. I felt like I had been absent, like my soul had drifted out of my body and lingered nearby as my physical form attended my classes. I felt Jasper's words drum inside me, play with my veins as if I was some puppet with tangled strings. I knew what he was saying was right, I knew it yet…I still felt that overwhelming pressure and sense of failure.

I earned for him that day…desperately and helplessly and I felt ashamed. Ashamed that I felt like I needed him so much, needed to hear his voice, his words. He made me feel like I wasn't alone, because he understood. He was the only one…the only one. Every stare that he gave me, every brush of fingertips against fingertips…he made it easier. Made me forget.

After school, I went straight to the hospital – my violin case draped over my shoulder as I walked nimbly down the halls and into the children's ward. I felt heart tighten at the sight of them, felt it clench and then gasp this greyish fog within me.

"Willa!" I heard a small girl called Mia call my name. I smiled sweetly at her, approaching her bed with the upmost care as I sat down next to her.

"Hello my lovely," I told her, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead as she beamed up at me…this dainty and precious little thing. "Would you like me to play you something a little special today? Something new?" I asked her, taking out my violin as she allowed her tiny fingers to reach forward and play with the ends of my hair.

"Can you dance too?" She asked, her big brown eyes looking up at me. There was so much light, so much purity and innocence and I…I looked away, looked down at the violin that I held. I took a deep breath, a shaky breath as I tried to calm my healers blood that pushed my veins outwards. I could save her…yet now, all I had was the gift of offering escapism. Was it enough though?

"Of course," I told her, although my smile was sad, shy and guilty as I stood and placed my violin underneath my chin.

"Willa?" Mia asked, tilting her head to the side as she looked up at me with puzzlement.

I paused, "what is it my angel?" I asked gently, my eyes softening and my voice weakening.

"You're my favorite part of my day." Her words caught me off guard, made my heart pause as if it forgot how to work. She gave me the biggest smile, and I felt her soul leak into mine. I felt her hopes and dreams, felt her love and honestly and I…

"I love you, Mia." I told her, and before I allowed myself to think and slip down into that well inside me, I played her a new song I had written on the violin and danced for her.

* * *

I fell back in my chair, releasing a soft sigh as I pressed my hand against my aching forehead. I smiled softly as I felt Doctor Cullen sit next to me. He was so humble, so rare in his talent and heart as he taught me about the art of medicine. He had been teaching me for three hours. And with the darkness ruling the sky like some uncrowned King, we both knew it was time to go home and rest...despite how much I wanted to stay and continue to learn. He placed his hand against my arm, leaning over me as he examined me with a mixture of concern and pride.

"You're putting too much pressure on yourself." He spoke softly, so calmly as he held my gaze. "it's only your first lesson Willa, and you are doing marvellously."

"You really think so?" I asked, biting my lip as I looked at him with doubt.

"Absolutely."

"How do you do it?" I asked him quietly, my eyes looking down at my hands which played with the ends of my skirt. 'Why do you do it?" I flicked my eyes up to his. Yet when I looked at him, I noticed something I hadn't before…the way he looked at me, it was so tender…so fatherly and I…I looked away, waiting for his answer as I felt him shift in his seat and press his leg against mine in a timid attempt of providing comfort.

"The same reason you want to Willa, to heal a world plagued by darkness and starving for love and peace." He spoke so calmly, so truthfully that I couldn't resist not looking up in his eyes. "Willa, do you mind if I become a little forward with you?" He asked, placing a hand over mine. I felt my hand stutter under his in surprise – his fingers wrapping in-between mine as he held my gaze. I shook my head. "I can see your pain, your struggle. And I…understand." He took in a deep breath. "I never knew my mother. She died whilst giving birth to me and my father…he believed that his purpose was to rid the world of evil and sin."

"I'm sorry," I told him, moving in my seat so I could face him. "Truly from the bottom of my heart."

"I do what I do because I know it's my purpose. But that doesn't mean I haven't struggled. There was a time where I hated what I was, where I loathed myself in every sense of the word. I've repeatedly tried to kill myself."

"Doctor Cullen." My heart lurched inside me, thrashed against my ribcage as I suddenly released his hand and wrapped my arms around his neck. I felt his arms hold me, felt them press my tiny frame against his as he released a sigh that seemed as if it had been held in for a long time. I could feel his pain, feel it leak through his soul, his clothes and into me.

"I believe, Willa…that for some strange reason…that going through all that pain, it made me see." I pulled away at his words, looking into his eyes as I searched him for some answer.

"See what?" I asked softly.

"My purpose. To heal people, because I know their pain. Just as you do." He pulled away slightly, pressing a hand to my heart. "Pain and loneliness do not only make us stronger, they make us more compassionate, make our souls purer and more vulnerable to identifying what are meaning of being in this world is. Compassion cannot be born without suffering, despite how horrible that may seem. I know you are suffering, I know the conflicts, despair and overwhelming hopelessness that is festering inside you. But I also know that you," he pressed his palm to rest against my cheek, his thumb wiping away my silent tears. "I know that you will make it through this. And when you do…no matter how tortured and broken you may believe yourself to be…you'll be hero. That girl with the heart crafted from fallen stardust and angel's tears. And it doesn't matter how many people you help or heal. All that matters is that you tried and hoped and dreamed and dared. And no one can take those things away from you."

And this time, before I could take him in my arms…he held me. Pulling me towards me and held me in his arms like a father would a daughter. And I…as I closed my eyes, as he whispered in my ear…I cried. Because for the first time, I felt something close to what could be a father figure. I loved Charlie, loved him with all my heart but…he never resembled a father. Never talked to me, held me and comforted me. But Doctor Cullen, as he stroked my hair and eased my pain, as he understood…I felt something that I had been craving for since I was little. The love of a father. And suddenly, I was afraid to leave him, afraid to go home and loose this moment. But I knew in my heart that something had changed. That I had not only found someone but multiple people. I found someone who I loved, my darling Jasper…and at the same time…I felt like I had found a father figure. I just wished in my heart, that my real father, the man who waltzed and lurked in my dreams, wouldn't hold it against me.

And so as I left the hospital, as Doctor Cullen drove me home and bid me farewell…my heart felt a little lighter…a little more filled with hope, dreams and wishes. A little less broken.

* * *

As i made my way up to my room, I lightly tiptoed through the house - nimble as a nymph so I would not wake anyone. Yet when I pressed my hand against my door, when I opened it and stepped into my room. I did not except to see the sight that I did.

Because there, standing in my room...was Bella and Edward, holding hands and looking at me with nervous eyes.

"We need to talk." Bella said, and I closed the door for her speak.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Hi everyone! I hope you liked this chapter! It was dealing with some rather sensitive issues but I thought I wouldn't be honest to Willa if I glided over certain issues and struggles that she has. For example, the death of her parents and never really have a home will affect her deeply, just as the feeling of loneliness and new found responsibility of being a healer. She has a huge journey to go on personally and I can't wait for you all to go on it with her! I hope you are liking the fatherly relationship that is developing between her and Doctor Cullen! That one will be a big one that will develop, just as her relationship with Jasper and the other Cullens! I can't wait to see what ya'll think! Please be gentle!**

 **The Next Chapter will be all about the truth coming out...!**

 **I think for me, (goodness I hope I don't sound arrogant in any way because that is never my intention in any way possible!) I really admire Willa. I think we really do live in a world today that lacks love and tender care and compassion. I think it so important to spread love and honestly, to be hopeful and dream and dare to do the impossible. So in that way, I really do admire Willa and her ambition to help and heal others! So let's spread more love into this world, and remind people that they matter, that we are never alone, and that we are all loved.**

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 **Review Response**

 **Littlecosma001: Hi you! Thank you so much for your beautiful review! I'll never be able to describe how much excitement reading your reviews gives me. You give me the motivation to continue to write and you've truly not only made me more inspired and determined, but also so much more happier! I'm so happy you liked that moment between Edward and Willa! They will have a lot more interactions, one on one too so they can really connect and understand one another! With Willa's parent's, you'll see! She is slowly getting fragments of their story so now they have escaped and just found out that Flora is pregnant with Willa! Which means something drastic is about to happen! i'll be exploring that in the next chapter! Haha yay! Fitz is here! And he's going to play a really important part! With Carlisle and Willa, they'll most definitely have a fatherly/mentor relationship! I can't wait to see what you thought of this chapter! In the next one it'll be more about the truth of everything coming out! Thank you so much for your review and I can't wait to see what you think! Much Love, Lisette**

 **BelguimBear: Hi! Thank you so much for your review! Your enthusiasm towards this story has just made me so incredibly happy! I hope you liked this chapter and don't worry! The relationship between Doctor Cullen and Willa will be a main topic in the plot of this story! It'll be a very father daughter relationship which will be interesting and new for Willa because she hasn't ever experienced that before! I hope you liked this chapter and I can't wait to see what you think! Much Love, Lisette!**

 **annabelcourtney: Hi! Ah your review was so sweet and adorable! I can't believe you read it all in one day! Reading that made me smile so much! I truly hope you enjoy this chapter! Thank you so much for reviewing! Much Love, Lisette!**

 **Arkytior's Song: Hi! Thank you so much for your sweet review! I hope you like this chapter! Thank you so much! Much Love, Lisette**


	16. Chapter 15 - Part 1

**Author's Note: Hello my angels! I hope you are doing well and are happy! I just wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading, reviewing and following this story! Getting over 200 followers was so overwhelming and I can only hope that you enjoy the rest of the story! With that being said...here is the next chapter! It's a rather long one so it'll be broken into two parts! But I hope you enjoy it! I can't wait to know what you think! Much Love, Lisette!**

 _His skin illuminated like a speckled galaxy as we lay underneath that bewildering moonlight, worshipping its absolute tranquility and mystifying promise of magic. I watched him silently, turned my eyes away from the moon and focused on him, on his freckled skin and boney hands that played with strands of grass and grains of dirt. I wasn't sure what the time was, and nor did I care. For all that matter was him and I…Fitz and Willa as we lay like helpless servants underneath the night sky._

 _"Fitz," I whispered, turning to my side and pressing my body against his arm. The air had become cold, sneakily cold as if some unknown force was looking for ways to push us into that intimate mist that was romantic love._

 _He turned towards me, a lazy smile pulling at the corners of his lips. His glasses dropped down on the bridge of his nose – allowing his eyes to peak above the glass lenses and look into me with a soft and innocent tenderness. Today was the last day of the holidays before school resumed, and I could tell he was afraid. He was a victim of violence and torment, a prince of intelligence and kindness that had been brutalized for his giving heart. And I could not understand why. He was different…extremely so, but that was what drew me towards him. His mind was a labyrinth of colossal knowledge and I…he fascinated me like no other had ever before. I suppose I had always been drawn to the mysterious and the outsiders…those who were quiet and reserved because in that way…in their silence, I did not know if they were lost in a world of dreams and magic, or if their lips were sewed shut from years of suffering and pain. And for some reason, over time…I realized that it was both._

 _"Do you know why the moon shines so bright?" He asked, his voice factual as he pressed his glasses further up his nose._

 _"No," I told him. "But I would love for you to tell me why." I whispered softly._

 _"Well," he exhaled, his nose twitching before he began. "The moon's surface reflects light from the sun, and yet despite its almighty glow it only reflects three to twelve percent of the sunlight." I smiled at his factual manner, yet his eyes…they were completed glossed over with rapture. "It's as if the moon knows." He then said softly, all matter of fact dissolving in the air between us._

 _"Knows what?" I promoted, eager to hear whatever he had to say._

 _"What it feels like to be placed in the light unwillingly." He spoke the words timidly, as if he were afraid to speak them. I reached in-between us, threading my fingers with his. "The moon is a naturally timid creature, a mysterious one. Yet due to another the moon is forced to wear a façade that is not its own. And so, it runs, orbits the world in hopes of capturing it's true form." I gazed up at him with complete intrigue, as if he had hypnotized and claimed my mind as his own possession. Fitz never talked like that. He was always so factual, so focused on logic and research. Never did he become poetic…He released a deep sigh, closing his eyes as he scrunched his face up in embarrassment. "I'm sorry."_

 _I crinkled my nose, confused by his sudden apology that had no need or cause. "For what?" I asked him, feeling his fingers tighten and then loosen around my own._

 _"That wasn't proper of me." His voice was thick, tight as if filled with regret. I shook my head, my eyes pinching slightly as they narrowed._

 _"Proper?" I sat up, looming over him as I brushed his stray shaggy hair away from his eyes. "You should never use that word." I told him. "Because there's no such thing. Proper can mean different things to different people. It's a term that is defined by judgement and self-procured perspective. There's no such thing as proper."_

 _Fitz quirked his eyebrows, a sly smile pulling at his lips. "On the contrary, the term Proper can be defined as of the required or correct type or form, suitable or appropriate."_

 _"Exactly!" I told him, "it's a nonsense word. We all have different definitions and perspectives on what is right and wrong. So therefore…the word proper is improper." I told him, smiling down at him as he looked up at me with exasperation._

 _"I'm not going to win this argument with you, am I?" He raised an eyebrow and I shook my head._

 _"Nope, I'm afraid not." I chirped, ticking his chin. He squirmed, his chin pressing down against my hand to trap it against his neck. I laughed lightly, using my other hand to tickle him until a burst of laugher shattered his throat. He caught my other hand, using all his strength to pull me against him and roll over me so he had me pinned to the ground. I struggled against him, laughing as he held me and pinned my arms against the grass._

 _"You may have won that battle, but I think I won this one." He said, looking down at me with huffing breath and a carefree smile. It was so rare to see him like that. To see him without a worry or care or ounce of rigidness. He was always so focused on his study, on doing well in the academics that when he became like this…it was like his heart had opened and spilled this repressed light._

 _"Maybe." I replied with a smile. But while he was distracted, I managed to snake my foot around his, and with a few clumsy motions…I flipped him over and rolled on top of him. Pinning him to the ground instead. "Or maybe not!" I chimed laughing. He rolled his eyes and I allowed him to push me off him. Brushing himself off I stood up in front of him and recaptured my breath._

 _Holding my hand out for him, I asked him – "Will you dance with me?"_

 _"Willa…I don't dance." He said factually, his features looking timid and embarrassed as he stared at my outstretched hand._

 _"Why not?" I countered lightly._

 _He rolled his eyes, standing so he towered over me. "Because I'm not comfortable with it. I belong in a world of facts and research." He said, looking down at me with those hard eyes of his. "Dance…it's too foreign." I could see the redness of his cheeks blush in timid embarrassment._

 _I shook my head, smiling as I took his hands in mine and pulled his towards me. "Oh, don't be such a silly goose."_

 _"Willa," He exhaled, turning his head from me as he looked uncomfortable. His hands were stiff in mine, rigid as his fingers did not bend around my own._

 _"Fitz." I mimicked him, raising an eyebrow that encouraged him to look down at me._

 _He bit back a smile as I grinned up at him. His eyes flicking back to mine as his chin quivered and he restrained a puff of laugher. "I'm being serious."_

 _"And so am I." I told him softly, feeling his fingers wrap around my own and caress the backs of my hands. "Now," I breathed softly, lowering my voice to a mere whisper. "Wrap your arms around me."_

 _He let out a startled cough. "Excuse me?"_

 _"Fitz, my darling, my angel, my light…I'm afraid you don't have an excuse to be shy around me physically." I told him lightly, biting back a smile as I took in his complete shock._

 _"I think you'll find I have every reason." He replied defensively, releasing my hands to cross his arms before his chest. He raised a single eyebrow. "Would you like me to list a few?"_

 _"Will it stop us from dancing?" I asked, placing my hands behind my back as I childishly swayed back and forth._

 _"Well yes –" He stuttered out._

 _"Then no, tell me tomorrow." I said softly, smiling as I took his hands back in mine. His skin was so soft against mine, so warm as I felt every bone, every hair and freckle that made his skin so beautiful. And as I looked up into his eyes, as I saw them soften and weaken in this breathtaking vulnerability…I, "For now," I whispered, so softly and shyly. "Just feel me."_

 _He stared back at me, differently than he had any other time before. "I don't –"_

 _"Don't think." I whispered, our eyes never breaking as he whispered my name and wrapped his arm arounds me. I gasped as I felt our chests caress, as we slowly moved to that silent melody. It was just him and I…it had been for so long but now, everything had changed. His arms no longer felt weak, no longer felt timid as he held me in his embrace. I had never felt so protected before…like nothing in this world could touch me or him. I could feel my eyes prickle with that salty wetness, feel the tip of nose burn and my heart wither like a rose who's falling petals sought to bury themselves in the heart of another. I rested my head against his chest, closing my eyes as he rested his head on top of mine and he began to hum. Fitz never sang, never whistled or hummed but now…my arms wrapped around him tighter, trying to melt our bodies together as one as…his foot clumsily stepped on mine._

 _I released a small wince, and before I knew it…he pulled away._

 _"No, no I can't do this…" He rushed out embarrassed, his eyes looking everywhere but me._

 _"Fitz." I walked towards him, my eyes wide with concern as he ran his fingers through his hair and tugged._

 _"I stepped on your foot, I'm sorry I-"_

 _I quickly placed my hands on both sides of his face. Yet he still did not look at me. "Why are you so afraid to let go, to feel?" I asked him, feeling his stiffness claim his body once more._

 _He raised a finger, clearing his throat before speaking. "If I try one more time, will you forget you ever asked that question?"_

 _"I can't promise forget but…I won't ask you again…for a wee while anyways." I told him honestly. And I did not need to say anything more. He let me wrap my arms around him, let me press my cheek against his chest but it was all wrong. He was so stiff…so shy that his hands barely touched the fabric of my dress_

 _"Stop thinking." I whispered._

 _"I'm trying." He said through clenched teeth._

 _"Just feel, let your heart control you…just this once." I whispered, looking up at him. "Just this once," I repeated softly. I took one of his hands in mine, placing our entwined fingers against his chest as we began to sway once more. I felt him relax, felt him become weak in my arms as his eyes melted as his lips quivered._

 _"Willa, can I ask you a question?" His voice sounded different. It wasn't shy, yet it wasn't confident or factual…it was deep, raw as if it was no longer his mind speaking but instead his heart._

 _"Of course, you can ask me anything." I replied softly._

 _"Can…I want…can I kiss you?" We stopped swaying, stopped moving as my heart paused and my lungs forgot to breath. Every part of me was in shock, paralysed in this beautiful and mystifying shock and I…the corners of my lips twitched upwards…but I couldn't speak. My heart had robbed me of all words, and my mind…it was lost…lost as I was in his eyes, mind and heart. For I was his, I wanted to be his. I went up on my tiptoes, and felt him lean towards me, felt that distance begin to close when -_

 _"I mean…I…It's the logical thing to do." The moment Fitz said those words, spoke them with his mind and not his heart, I pulled back._

 _"Logical?" I exhaled, disappointment and fear and hurt and_

 _"Yes." He said, said so factually._

 _I shook my head. Tears threatening to spill but no, I couldn't let him see me like that. "What do you mean?" I asked, inwardly cringing at how clipped my words were._

 _"Well we…"_

 _"Willa!" The sound of my mama's voice echoed through the sky._

"Willa?" The sound of my little cousin's voice pulled me out of that memory. I blinked, unsure why my mind had strayed back to that moment in time as I was confronted with Bella and Edward. They both appeared stiff and nervous, as if they were hesitant about telling something, unsure of what my reaction may be. I noticed Edward's hand holding Bella's, noticed the way he looked at her with such adoration before flicking his eyes to mine. He released her hand, swallowing the forming lump in this throat as he shifted his weight from one foot to the next. He looked increasingly uncomfortable.

"What," I took in a small breath, "is everything alright?" I asked softly, taking a few steps towards him. Edward stiffened, became more solid as he took a step forward. His eyes were soft and tender.

"Willa, there's um, there's something we need to talk to you about." He kept his voice low as he spoke. I nodded, a nervousness creeping up on me as I realized where this would be headed.

"Of course," I said lightly, gesturing to my bed for them to sit. I took a seat on the floor, crossing my legs as I watched Bella sit on my bed and Edward lean against the wall. I began fidgeting with my hands, feel them begin to sweat.

"Well um…" Edward began, his nervousness increasing as he looked off to the side of the room. "Willa," He flicked his gaze back to mine, "My family and I…we're vampires."

And the moment he spoke those words, I knew I could no longer keep in what I knew I should. But I had to tell them the truth…or at least part of it. And so, looking into his eyes, straightening my back…I ever so calmly said, "I know." I could see the shock on Bella's face, see the surprise in Edwards but I did not let them speak, I couldn't and so I quickly continued on. "And there is one thing you need to know about me…I'm not human. I'm...I'm a healer." As I spoke that word…healer…I watched as Edward jolted back in surprise, watched as complete shock molded his features and he…recoiled. Not in disgust, but in fear, in guilt.

I quickly got to my feet, walking towards Edward who backed up against the wall. I didn't understand his reaction…why his body trembled and suddenly…suddenly he took my face in his hands. I could hear Bella's voice in the background, hear her confusion and panic but I was too lost in Edward to hear her specific words. His eyes searched my face, narrowed in on me as his hands trembled against my skin. His grip was firm, tight but then he became gentle, his thumbs caressing my skin as if I was some forgotten memory that could fade in an instant.

"How could I be so blind?" He whispered sharply. "This, you…this all makes sense now." I raised my hands to rest against his wrists as I waited, waited for him to tell me what was going on, what had sparked such a reaction and – "I should have known."

"Should have known what?" I asked, pleaded delicately as I desperately wanted him to speak to me, needed him to speak to me.

"I can't read your thoughts, Alice can't see you in her visions, Jasper can't read your emotions…your eyes, your face, your voice…everything about you screams purity." His hands fell from my face and he collapsed against the wall. He seemed to be breathing rapidly yet I didn't understand why as Vampires had no breath, no need for it. "How long have you known about my family and I?" He asked, his voice still sharp yet a light softness lingered.

"A few days," I stuttered out, trying to remain calm as he ran his fingers through his hair. "But I've always known something was different, that some grain of magic lingered in you and your family."

"How." He shook his head, ignoring my previous statement. He walked towards me and I looked to Bella who still held an expression of surprise, helplessness and…betrayal. I felt guilt nip at my heart, but no…we would have that conversation later. "How do you know?"

"Jasper." I said his name before I could stop myself, before I could…no, I had to tell him. But as soon as I did, I felt as if it was a mistake.

"Jasper?" Edward asked, prompting me to tell him more. He shook his head, disbelief smeared across his features. "Of course." He sighed, "that's why he's always been disappearing, being so secretive."

"I'm sorry." I whispered feebly. "We just wanted something that was…just ours. Something that we could allow to blossom without anybody's influence or watchful eyes. We both felt this connection and I…we…I didn't know what it was. He didn't know and…" I ran a shaky hand through my hair. I hated confrontations. "We -

"I don't need to read your mind to know that you love him." He said, putting his hands in his pockets as he looked me up from head to toe. "I should have seen it. The way you two looked at each other…the way he never spoke of you, did all he could to avoid brining you up in conversation." He shook his head again, smacking his forehead in frustration. I parted my lips, took a step towards him to stop him but he continued on. "But I was too distracted by Bella to notice. The whole family was."

"I'm sorry." I whispered once more, but then…I suddenly felt confused on what I was apologising for. Yes, Jasper and I had kept our relationship a secret. But we didn't do it for the wrong reasons. We just wanted something that was just ours, something that was –

"How old are you?" His question caught me off guard, yet absolute puzzlement painted his features. "How long have you been a healer for?"

"Since the car accident." I exhaled, watching as guilt painted his features. "Why? What's...What's wrong?" I asked innocently.

"You're practically a child…just a little girl." He breathed out, walking towards me as he took me in, drank me in with horrified eyes that were slowly losing their sense of confusion. "No wonder we couldn't smell you, feel your healer's presence...you're still changing, still..." His words were so airy, as if he was speaking his thoughts out loud yet was unaware that he was doing so. "I'm so sorry." He confessed, caressing my cheek with such delicate fingers. Yet it was an apology that frightened me, that…

"What for my lovely?" I asked him, silently pleading with my eyes for him to keep talking. He bit his lip, sparking fear inside me. What was wrong? What did he know that I did not.

"You can't…you have to end this." His voice was pained, weak and vulnerable as his eyes became soft and glossy.

"I…I don't understand." I said softly, placing my hand on top of his as it wiped away my tears. I felt my heart hiccup, felt my breath stutter as fear and uncertainty consumed me.

"You and Jasper, you can't be together." Regret and pain swam in his eyes, but I shook my head…backing away from him as he spoke those words. No, I…I…

"How…how could you say such a thing?" I asked him weakly, wrapping my arms around my body in a protective embrace.

"Because it's wrong. You may have been hiding your relationship with Jasper because you wanted it to blossom without external influences but Jasper, he knows it's wrong. That's why he didn't tell anyone. Because he knows that a love between a Vampire and a Healer…it's more dangerous then you could ever understand." His words sliced through me, like some hand had burst through my chest, ripped my heart out and squeezed it…nails digging into my beating heart and all.

"Then help me understand. Please, tell me, explain it to be because you're right. I don't understand. What is so wrong with a healer and a vampire falling in love? What makes it any different than a vampire and a human?" I asked desperately.

"A lion falling in love with a lamb is not the same as fire and ice intertwining." He said softly, looking away to the floor as he spoke in a timid manner, as if he felt my pain…felt sorry for me. "You're blood…" He flicked his eyes back up to mine. "it's not like human blood. It's so much warmer, so much richer and intoxicating. It burns and consumes until there is nothing left but the ashes of a future you could never have."

"How," I wiped my tears away. Trying to calm myself as I looked up at Edward with now hard eyes. "How do you know this? Have…have healers and vampires been together romantically before? Was it you –"

"No." The word was sharp and vicious. "No," he repeated, yet all venom had gone. The word was now soft and broken, like a withered old thing that had floated into the room. "It was not me. But…" He shook his head. "I shouldn't."

"Please." I walked towards him, my hands trembling before I rested them against his chest. "I would never hurt you or your vampire. You can trust me. Help me." His eyes softened as he looked down at me, as he brushed a stray hair of mine away from my eyes and beheld me. "What are you so afraid of?"

He blinked, startled by the question as if the answer was so obvious. "What am I afraid of?" He repeated breathlessly. "You." My heart hiccupped in my chest. "I'm afraid of you, Willa."

"You have no reason to be." I told him softly, reaching up to caress his cheek. To try and calm whatever was pounding inside him.

"I'm going to tell you a story." He whispered, leaning into my palm. "Will you come with me?" His eyes nervously shifting between Bella and I as he swallowed deeply. I paused, looking at my little cousin and suddenly…I felt so helpless. I had kept this secret from her…and I…I was afraid to go towards her, to comfort her in case she rejected me. Yet as I looked at her, as she looked at me…

"Bells," she shook her head, walking towards me slowly before taking my hands in hers. "I…"

"It's alright." She said, smiling softly. "You had your reasons and well, I get it." My eyes widened with hope at her response, and I couldn't resist a tiny smile, because despite everything…I still had Bella, my darling cousin. I pulled her into my arms. Her body was soft against mine, warm and perfectly human.

"What did I ever do to deserve a little cousin like you?" I whispered in her hair, placing a single kiss against her cheek before she pulled back.

She released a small awkward laugh and her cheeks become an embarrassed rosie pink. "You should go, with Edward." She gestured towards him as he stood against the wall, his hands tightly folded in his pockets.

"Are you sure?" I asked gently, "I promise I won't get him into any trouble."

She laughed lightly, "Just has long as he doesn't get you into any trouble." She gave Edward a pointed look, making him smile as he relaxed slightly. "Just be back before the sun comes up, I'm worried about your sleep patterns."

"I promise." I told her, "Shall we?" Edward nodded in response and after a quick goodbye to Bella, we left the walls of this house and walked towards the darkened forest.

* * *

I wasn't sure how long we walked for…silent as fear itched and nipped at our skin. The air was cool, and the stars, despite their glow and shine, seemed like a jury above us. I looked towards Edward as we walked, as he lost himself in his thoughts and fought against that conflict which drummed within him. This story that he wanted to tell me, I could tell it was something he found difficult to share, a secret that was not his to carry nor tell. But as he turned his head to look down at me, I saw an unfamiliar softness in him, a sense or need of him wanting to be a saviour, to be a protective and a warrior and this story…he believed it was the only think that could let him come close to being those things.

"You said you'd tell me a story." I told him softly. I needed to know…needed to understand this pain and agony that ate away at us as the silence became smothering.

"Yes, I did, are you ready?" He asked, placing his hands in his pockets as he looked down at me, as he breathed me in and allowed his eyes to mist over for a few moments.

"I think so." I replied.

He smiled sadly. "Then let's begin."

 _Once upon a time, a lonely vampire fell in love with a healer, and despite the innocence and purity of their love…it did not end well. The year was 1878, and that winter…when the snow fell heavier than any other and the cold froze the skies and pavements, Lilia Vasiliev, a girl crafted from the purest of starlight…encountered a creature of darkness who was dying from a lonely heart. They met in a hospital…she a nurse and he a doctor, opposites in every way except one. They shared the same philosophy and value for human life and they…despite their differences, craved each other. She knew what he was, and he knew what she was…but they didn't care. They fell in love, became drunk on their love for each other as she slowly healed his heart and he protected hers. They became bound to one another, addicted and consumed and completely wed soul to soul._

 _He could hear every one of her heartbeats, hear and feel her warm breath against his flesh as it burned him. Her blood, that silky velvet liquid that flowed through her like melted moonlight…it called to him every night, teased him as he fought every day to resist the knocking of the beast that lingered within him. But he never told her, never spoke of the darkness that she inadvertently teased within him. And so, every night as she lay naked and pale in his arms, her pale blond hair spilling over her exposed breasts and closed blue eyes as she slept, he would clench his teeth and drown in her sweet aroma…convincing himself that he was stronger than the monster within him._

 _Yet one day…one night, when she lay in his arms and he clenched his jaw…she awoke with a start and fluttered her eyelids open. She looked up at him, ran her fingers through his blond hair and asked him what was wrong. She could feel his nails dig into her bare flesh, see his eyes struggle to look into hers as he finally confessed to her his secret._

 _"My love, try to understand me when I say you torture me." He spoke the words softly, and she…with all her delicate and fragility understood. She knew what he was, what that meant…and so she caressed his cheek, her fingers teasing the corners of his mouth as he became hypnotized by her touch. "Let me be free…just this once…can I feel warm?"_

 _"You won't hurt me…you can't." She whispered to him, leaning up to place a chaste kiss on his lips. It was then that she moved her hair, exposing her neck…that beating pulse that thumped delicately beneath her smooth and milky skin that glowed in the moonlight. "It's alright," she whispered, as he lowered his mouth towards her neck. "You can never hurt me."_

 _And before he could stop himself…before he could think that one last thought…he pierced her skin with his teeth and drank. She arched her body into his, and he…his hands held her gently, caressed her as he drank and filled himself with that sweetness that first exhilarated his insides and then…he felt his whole-body change, felt his body become warm and weak and…he pulled away from her…panting and quivering as he collapsed against her body and stared into those blue eyes of hers. And when she looked into his, when she saw the humanness of him, saw the man and not the immortal prince…she ignored her weakness, ignored her loss of blood for he was calm. He was human…free and warm as her healer's blood morphed him into that 23-year-old boy before he was reborn._

 _He lifted himself off her, still quivering as he adjusting to this mortal form…to the warmth and tranquil silence as he stared down at his beloved. He no longer felt that beast' knock within him, no longer craved her but instead…simply loved her. He smiled down at her, wide and pure and glee claimed him. They both laughed as they looked at one another, as Lilia rested her hand against his chest and gasped at the feeling of his heartbeat. It was strong, strong and pure and perfectly mortal._

 _"I can feel your heartbeat." She cried softly, her tears spilling over the rims of her eyes and down her cheeks. "Thump, thump, thump thump." He smiled down at her, wiping away her tears with his nose before placing a kiss against her lips. His lips were warm…softer and gentler and so much more innocent. He seemed timid, as if he was unexperienced and nervous…like a young boy. For he was just that, and he…he loved it. He released a long warm breath…his oxygen kissing her face and causing her smile to widen. He felt free…felt solace._

 _"I don't want to go." He whispered, the human in him whispered. "I…I don't want to change back." Tears blossomed in his eyes, tears he had not cried since the day he was made into a vampire. And Lilia, loving him above herself and all others…knew that she could not let him suffer. And so, despite the harm it did her…despite killing her a little bit more each time he drank from her…. she changed him into a human as often as she could. The effect would only last a single day. And the time in-between changes were a week or two. She lived of his happiness, of his humanness that he longed for…_

 _It is impossible for a vampire and a healer to produce offspring…but a healer and a human…it was a year after Lilia began changing him that she fell pregnant with his child, that he returned home from work and was greeted by his lover with her hands resting on her belly and a soft toy teddy on the kitchen table of their home. They had never felt such happiness before…such sense of feeling complete and fulfilled. Yet having this child inside her…she could no longer change him, not until she gave birth to their child._

 _His craving for her returned, as that knocking of the beast inside him turned to screaming and trashing as she and his unborn child lay next to him. Their scents saturated him, coated him whole as he heard not one, but two heartbeats of purity. Two healers who were bound to him through love and DNA…_

 _On a summer's night, when the heat sweated through glass windows and boiled the air dry…Lilia stared up at her lover's brokenness as they lay in their bed…sheets gone as she pressed her naked body against his too cool herself and their unborn child. She could see how he suffered, how he fought every day to accept what he was and resist the darkness within him. He trembled over her, his hands quivering as they caressed her cheeks and ran down in-between her breasts before resting on her stomach._

 _"My love, try to understand me when I say you torture me." He whispered. "I am at your feet, as I gaze across the chasm that divides you from me as your humble servant." For his craving of her did not only come from that creature that lurked beneath his frozen porcelain skin, but it came from her being his salvation. He needed to drown in her purity, in her goodness as it reminded him of what he wanted to be…of what he could be. Yet he hated himself, loathed what he was despite her love for him. He wanted to be mortal, to be a creature of the light and the stars and the sun. He envied her, loved her, worshipped her…_

 _"Carlisle," His name was so sweet against her lips, so dainty and fragile as his name floated in the heated air between them._

 _"What do you see in me?" He asked her, complete raw confusion painting his features._

 _"I saw a broken saint, an immortal prince of righteousness and purity and loneliness trapped in a body that he did not wish was his. I see a warrior, a –" He shook his head at her words, closing his eyes._

 _"Your blindness is slowly killing me…. for I'm not that. I'm a monster, yet you treat me like a man." Lilia shook her head, kissing the tip of his nose as he opened his eyes once more._

 _"Because you are." She told him softly. "Just because your labelled as a vampire…does not mean your soul or heart is tied to the stereotypes that come with a title like that. Because despite being a vampire, you are the furthest thing from it. You are a healer, my healer, my prince, my warrior…my man."_

 _She brushed her lips against his, felt him succumb to her as he pressed his body against hers gently. "Tell me you love me." He whispered against her lips._

 _"I love you." She told him in-between kisses, each motion soft yet desperate with need and love and passion._

 _"Tell me you want me." He asked her, kissing the corner of her mouth to allow her to speak._

 _"I always want you." She whispered, running her fingers through his hair._

 _"Tell me you need me. Tell me I'm forgiven and say you'll always be mine and I'll always be yours. Tell me that I'm not a monster…tell me…tell me…" His words became rushed as he fell against her, burying his face against the crook of her neck as she held him. For if he could weep then he would be crying, and if he could breathe…he would be gasping._

 _"I have nothing to forgive you for," She whispered into his hair, "I'll always be yours and you will always be mine. You are not a monster, you're…" She continued to comfort him, to bare her soul naked and vulnerable to him as she held him and told him what she thought of him, of how she loved him and…he pulled away from her…his lips so close to her neck…his teeth..." you won't hurt me." She told him…" You can never hurt me." For his suffering had become her own…and maybe…just maybe…she could change him and he would pull away just in time…he would know when to pull away, when too…. he pierced her skin with his teeth, sucking and draining her and gripping her body against his. She felt her pulse weaken, felt her healer's blood bubble and pop and sparkle within him. She knew he had enough…knew their child was still alright and perfectly healthy but…he didn't stop. She felt his grip tighten on her, felt his nails dig into her flesh as his love turned to hunger and he lost control._

 _"Carlisle." She whispered, trying to push him off her, trying but was too weak…she felt her pulse fading, felt her child's pulse weaken…"Please…please," She begged, yet her voice was too fragile, too weak as he drained her like a meal rather than a lover. "Please, remember…you're…you're…" her heart crumbled, and her lungs withered…"you're not a monster." And whilst he continued to drink from her, continued to drain her blood into him…he had not realized that his lover was dead in his arms, that his unborn child had passed with their mother and –_

"He stopped drinking before he fully drained her. The only way a vampire can become permanently mortal is if they drain a healer completely. But Carlisle…he managed to stop himself just before…." Edward's throat was raw from his speech…raw and dry and pained as we both stopped walking…this strange and threatening silence consuming the darkened sky. I didn't know what to say, did not know what to think…I could feel Edward's fear, feel his pain and guilt and anguish as if it were my own.

I laced my fingers with his, my touch so delicate yet he pulled away…pulled away so quickly as if I had hurt him. "I…I'm so sorry." I whispered feebly. What was I supposed to say to a story like that? What could I say? I felt my heart call out to Doctor Cullen, felt it cry and scream for him as I clenched my teeth and looked up to the stars. Was she watching, this Lilia that had held his heart? Was she now safe, safe and free with their unborn child in the skies above?

Tears fell down my cheeks, I had to see him…needed to despite what anyone said. "You can't." Edward whispered, guessing what I had thought. "He can never know I told you."

"Does," I swallowed deeply. 'Who else knows of this story?"

"Just my family, although we do not talk about it." He took a step towards me, breathing in deeply as if he were searching for my scent. "It'll only become more dangerous." He whispered, resting his hand against my cheek. 'The older you become, the more your blood matures and blossoms into that feverish healer's aura…you cannot go down this path with him." His fingers ran through my loose hair as he sighed, as he felt its softness against his hard skin.

"It may be different." I whispered, feeling this hope inside me. "Jasper isn't Carlisle and I am not Lilia. We are two separate people, two people with different minds and hearts and souls that are not bound to the same fate."

"You don't know that." He shook his head.

Yet I took a step forward, strengthening my voice as I felt and believed the words that I was about to say. For I know knew the risk, I knew what could happen…how complicated and dangerous this love could become. But as I saw Jasper in my memories, as I saw his heart lay bare before me in my quivering hands… "I do know that." I told Edward strongly. "I have to."

"And what about my family? When your scent becomes too much? What about me?" He scoffed, his chest expanding as he tried to appear threatening. I felt that danger that rolled of him, felt his warning and hints at the consequences. "Love only strengths that scent. If you become a part of our family, if we love you like a sister, like a daughter…things could become very dangerous. We could hurt you, kill you and not even know it or want it." His words were venomous on purpose, sharp as they slithered out like the tongue of a snake. "I am the face of death standing in front of you. Open your eyes and see it, see what we are."

"Stop that." I took a step closer. "Stop this. I know what you're doing, and I know that you are trying to protect your family and me but your wrong. You can't hurt me, because I won't let you. I won't be blinded by what Lilia was, won't be consumed in that feverish desperation and need. From what you told me about Carlisle's story…it's different to Jasper and I's. It's"

"It's not." He interrupted. "Jasper has that same lonely heart, has that same search for salvation within him. He is exactly like how Carlisle was and –"

"And no. Jasper is not like that because two people cannot be identical. Yes, we may have similar experiences and emotions yet no two are the same. The way we think, the way we process and understand things…it's different. He's different. And from how Carlisle has grown, he's different. You all are."

"You don't know that." He said, his words softer as he trailed his fingers down my arms and took my hands in his. "Can you feel how cold I am? Feel how strong I am?" His grip on my hands tightened and I couldn't help but wince in pain, wince as I felt his fingernails dig into me and break my flesh apart. "I could kill you now if I wanted." He pulled me towards him, our chests colliding as he stared into me with cold and threatening eyes…with hunger.

"And what do you want?" I asked him softly, pulling my hands away and tossing my hair over to one side to reveal my pulse. "Go ahead." I challenged, tilting my neck towards him. His hands shook as he gripped my shoulders, as his mouth parted and lowered down towards my bare flesh. Yet he did not bite me, he couldn't and I knew it. He flicked his eyes to mine. Seeing my challenge and what I was showing him.

He swallowed, pushing me away causing me to stumble back as he turned his back on me and ran his fingers through his hair. "Is there anything I can say to change your mind?" He asked helplessly.

He looked over his shoulder. "Is there anything I can say that will change yours?" I repeated back at him. He shook his head. "I know you said I can't tell Carlisle but I…" He narrowed his eyes, asking me not to but I had to. "Please. I need to see him. There is no use for these lies and secrecy anymore. We need to talk about this, because in the end this is so much bigger then you and I in this forest."

He nodded in understanding. "No, you're right. You should talk to Carlisle tonight. I'll take you, I suppose it's time all this all came out, even my relationship with Bella. It's time." I could hear the fear in his voice, and before I could stop myself I walked towards him and took him in my arms. He held me against him, ran his fingers through my hair as we comforted each other in the moonlight and stars. "I'm sorry." He whispered into my hair. "But I'm afraid that our future may be darker then you expect."

* * *

As we approached the Cullen's house, I felt Edward's fingers brush mine. And so, we paused, looked up into each other's eyes and held that moment. We were both afraid, both timid and hesitant as we knew that everything was about to change. His eyes softened as he gave me a hopeful smile, a smile that was vulnerable and helpless, that wished and dreamed and desired, a smile that was rare. My fingers tightened around his, shivered in his palm as he raised our joint hands and placed them in-between our chests. As he made that unspoken promise of protection and understanding.

"Together." He whispered.

"Together." I whispered.

And so, we let our hands fall, let them sway by our sides as we walked up the steps and towards the door. Opening it with a soft click, he placed his spare hand on the small of my back, allowing his hand to lightly graze the fabric of my dress in a silent way to encourage me forward. The house was lit up, as if it was not the night but instead a day swimming in those peak hours of noon and sunlight. There were so many windows, so much space as I walked ahead of him and took it all in. It was beautiful…a haven where they did not have to hide, did not have to pretend.

I looked over my shoulder at where Edward took off his shoes and placed them neatly by the door. He was stalling, for there was no shoe rack or other shoes present by the door. An unnecessary action. He titled his head up, gesturing to the upper floor where sweet laughter and chatter filled the air.

"Shall we?" He asked quietly. I nodded, following him to the base of the stairs. He was so light on his feet that no sound was made and I…being the dancer I was, tried to be as light and dainty as I could as I followed him up the stairs and towards the source of the chatter and laughter. I remained behind him as we walked down the corridor, as he kept his hand behind his back so if I needed to take it, it was there. We stopped before we rounded the corner, paused as he looked behind him and gave me that one last encouraging smile that blossomed my hope and faith and enteral optimism to emerge. "Ready?"

"Always." I whispered back, the corners of my lips pulling upwards as he rounded the corner and stepped into the living room. The moment we emerged, all eyes went to us. Yet I did not cower. I stood by Edwards side, stood straight and hopeful with my fingers playing with the hem of my dress.

The first pair of eyes I met were Jasper's. He had been sitting on the couch next to Alice as he read and smiled at whatever she had been telling him. Yet when his eyes captured sight of me, when he took me in and saw my nervousness and fear…he placed his book down beside him and stood…stood so quickly and suddenly that everyone looked to him. Worry glazed his eyes, surprise and confusion and need as he restrained himself from walking towards me. My lips parted weakly as I fought the urge to go to him, to wrap my arms around his torso and kiss his pale skin. Alice looked up at him in confusion, Emmett who was leaning against a piano whistled and Carlisle and Esme beheld us with deep confusion. It was when I met the eyes of Rosalie that I saw something different…something raw and deep and sensitive, some strange sense of understanding as she looked at me from where she sat at the piano.

'Edward." Carlisle breathed, after sharing a brief look with his wife. "What's the matter?"

"We need to talk." Edward said, looking down at me. "Willa's a healer and she and Jasper.. they are romantically involved and…so are Bella and I."

* * *

 **Author's Note: Hello my lovelies! So here is part 1! I hope you enjoyed it! I can't wait to hear what you think so please review! I hope that you are all excited for part two! I love you all with all my heart! The world needs more love, so let's spread it along with happiness, hopes and dreams! Until next time...Much Love, Lisette!**

* * *

 **Review Responses:**

 **Arkytior's Song: Hi! Oh my goodness, bless your heart! That is so sweet of you to say! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I can't wait to see what you think! Much Love, Lisette**

 **Littlecosma001: Hi! Thank you so much for your beautiful review! I honestly don't know how to thank you...you make my days shine so much bright and you seem like such a rare and beautiful person! That makes me so happy that you think so! That's what the main purpose of that chapter was, to take a deeper look into her struggles and not glossing over anything! As to why Willa and Jasper have been sneaking around...I hope this chapter answer's that for you! It is no? There's a lot of struggles to come but so many beautiful moments too that will only make the relationships grow so much stronger and deeper! I'm so happy that you liked the moment between her and Carlilse! They are going to have a very special and deep bond, especially after what was revealed in this chapter about Carlilse's past and all! I hope you liked this scene between Fitz and Willa too! I've had it in my head since chapter one! As for Rosalie and Willa...I have something really special planned for them two! N'aww you're such a sweetheart! I absolutely adore your reviews! I truly mean it when I saw they bring such warmth and sunlight into my days! Thank you so much and I truly hope you enjoy this chapter! I can't wait to see what you thought of it! Much love, Lisette!**

 **connnieee: Thank you so much for your beautiful review! It made me so happy to read! I truly hope you liked this chapter and are excitied for what is to come! As for Willa and that characteristic...she does having a growing journey to go on so she's far from perfect! But the whole point is for her to grow and struggle and become so much stronger and discover herself! I hope it is oki and I'm so sorry if it's not truly. I'm trying my best! That's so sweet of you to say about my writing! I'm so shy and always question my skills so hearing you say that means so much to me! Oh, I am actually Ukrainian but I grew up all over because of my parents work! Where abouts are you from? I can't wait to see what you think of this chapter! Much Love, Lisette**

 **BelguimBear: Hiya! N'aww that's so sweet of you to say! Your review truly made my heart flutter! I don't know how to thank you! You seem like you have such a beautiful and gorgeous heart! I truly hope that you like this chapter as well and i can't wait to see what you think! Much Love, Lisette!**


	17. Chapter 15 Part II

**Author's Note: Hello my lovelies! Thank you so much for all of you who have followed, favorited, reviewed and read this story! It truly means the stars and moon to me! I hope you enjoy this chapter and I can't wait to see what you think!**

 **Oh a more serious note...I'm not sure if ya'll are aware but a horrible and false documentary about Michael Jackson named Leaving NeverLand has just been realised...Ever since I was little I've been listening to Michael Jackson's songs and he has inspired me to become the person I am today. He has one of the purest, most innocent and angelic hearts that was too good for the world. All he wanted was to heal the world and make it a better place...by filling it with love and music and spreading the message that none of us are alone. He was a true angel and it breaks my heart to see what is happening to him. If you are following this story at all and want to find ways to support it or to know more about it then go to a website called...**

 **www. mjinnocent . com**

 **(Not too sure why but it won't allow me to past the URL but hopefully you can find it through that!)**

 **And Michael Jackson aside...the world is in need of more love. Yesterday when I got on the bus, the driver said to me "you're the first person to say hello to me all day, you've just made me feel like a human again." Even small acts of kindness can make the world a better place and give an individual so much joy. After-all we are all sharing this planet together, we are all just humans in the end regardless of gender and race...and so we need to continue to spread that kindness, to be compassionate and giving and loving in everything we do. Every one of you beautiful readers is so talented and unique, so special and rare and a true gift to this world...don't let anyone tell you otherwise. We live in a hard and scary world, but together...we can make this world beautiful, YOU make this world beautiful!**

 **Otherwise enjoy the chapter!**

 **Much Love, Lisette!**

I felt my blood fizz at Edward's words, felt it warm like a small ember was lit in my heart. Yet it wasn't an ember of anger or passion, but a small flame that heated my healer's blood and made it come alive…as if it were protecting me, charging my power in this soft yet succulent comfort. I flicked my gaze to Carlisle, watched as he stared into me as if he was searching with some lost hope of recovering a grain of the past. He looked so fragile in that moment, so lost as he stood and approached me like a hypnotized child. I felt Edward stiffen beside me, felt the coolness in the room fester as Carlisle stopped before me and raised a hand to touch my cheek. Yet his skin never met mine…it simply lingered, lingered and waited and perhaps dreamed that I was someone else.

"Lilia." He exhaled, his hand quivering next to my face as he stared deep down into this lost love of his that he now envisaged. I sucked in my lower lip, feeling my heart press against its cage of bone and cartilage as it sought to escape and nestle inside him. He looked so broken, so unaware of everyone else's gaze as he bared such a vulnerable and intimate part of himself. I dared not breath, dared not move as he – "No." He snatched his hand away, looking down towards the ground as he closed his eyes tightly. "This needs to end." And before I could part my lips to speak, before I could even let out the breath I had been holding…he walked past us and left the room.

"I…" I looked to Jasper, felt my breath stutter in my throat as he looked so cold, so unemotional as he stood stiff and tall. I couldn't read him, couldn't…and that frightened me. I swallowed deeply, yet I couldn't breathe without my lips parted ever so slightly. I didn't know what to say, what to do…and suddenly I felt alone. I could feel all of their eyes on me, judging me and analyzing me as I stood there trying to capture Jasper's eyes. Yet he wouldn't look at me. Did he feel betrayed? "Excuse me." I said sweetly with a shy yet chirpy smile before twirling on my heals and leaving the room. I rushed down the stairs, my heartbeat rapidly increasing as I made my way not towards the door…but towards Carlisle. I could see him in the study, see his light blood hair gleaming in the moonlight as he pinched the bridge of his nose and leaned against a bookshelf in the dark.

"My love, try to understand me when I say you torture me." I whispered to him, those words that he had said to Lilia. I stepped over the threshold and into the study. Carlisle looked towards me, holding this look of helplessness and despair. "You wanted to feel warm, to feel that mortal heart pound inside you." I told him softly, gently as I approached him.

"Stop." He exhaled tightly, as his features contorted into a pained expression. "From the moment, I met you…I could hear it." He looked at me with sad and guilty eyes. "Hear your healer's blood whisper and hum. It was so faint, so gentle and new and… curious." He crossed his arms over his chest, tilting his head back as his eyes misted over. "I thought…that maybe if I taught you, helped you discover what you were and could be in an indirect way… that I could remain distant from you…pretend that we were just two mortals…a student and a mentor and maybe, just maybe she would forgive me." He opened his eyes, opened those sad honey eyes and smiled falsely. "My Lilia…my angel" He shook his head, walking over to the window where he stopped to look up at the sky, stopped to search for her… "I have no right to be near you…no right to- "

"Stop that." I whispered, walking towards him with hesitant steps. He turned towards me, looking down at me with such endearment, with those eyes of a father lost in regret and guilt and shame. "Why do you say such things?"

"Because it's true." He whispered, "what right do I have to even seek forgiveness? To be near any healer yet alone a healer with your heart and soul. I have been robbed of that privilege, stripped of my …" His voice broke, fractured as did my heart. My fingertips brushed against his arm in the most delicate of manners.

"No, I don't believe that." I told him softly. "For you are far too good of a man. You say you seek forgiveness yet…I believe you have found it already. Edward said her last words…" I hesitated, knowing how sensitive this was…how fragile his heart was. "Her last words were that you are not a monster. She knew…I…I know." Carlisle shook his head, flicking his gaze back up to the stars as if he was searching for her once more.

"If I could dream…then I believe she would linger in them." He whispered softly before sighing deeply and clenching his hands into two fists. "I won't let you have the same fate as her Willa…I can't let that happen."

"And it won't." I told him gently.

"Then we understand each other?" He asked, turning towards me and smiling sadly. For he knew we didn't. "You have your father's eyes." He confessed, his words so airy and lost as if once again…he was looking through the present and into the thick mist of the past. "His conviction."

"You…you knew him?" Curiously engulfed me, my feet stumbling a single step forward as I gazed up at him with desperate bewilderment and longing, longing for him to tell me, to say yes and perhaps…ease me from my dreams.

"Silas." He breathed, nodding his silent confirmation. "I knew him when he was just a boy," he paused…waiting and searching for that lost memory of him. "He was a slave child of the Volturi, the dominant vampire coven. I was studying in Italy at the time when I decided to say with them. They tried to persuade me to live of human blood but…I resisted. It was during my two decades there that I first encountered Healers." He said the name of my species softer than any other word he spoke, said it with such pain and guilt as the word coated and stained his tongue. Yet I did not dare interrupt him.

"Silas's parents…Juliet and Ikaros… they were the first kind of your species that I ever met. Juliet, she…" Carlisle paused, a small smile pinching his lips upwards in endearment. "She was the kindest person to me during my stay. She used to study with me in the evenings during her pregnancy, secretly of course. You see, when she was with child... She became so much more than just a healer…she became their most valuable asset and possession." His features tightened, pained…" they treated her with care, false love and manipulating tenderness during that time but Ikaros…they tortured him, drained him more and beat him until he was on the verge of death. He was the strongest man I had ever known…until I met Silas, until that boy was born and something was different about him. As he grew, he showed more fire and fury and resistance than any other moral or immortal that I had seen in the face of the Volturi. He trained in every spare moment that he had…and the love for his parents, it was unmatchable in any form. I had never seen someone so protective over another before, someone so willing to kill and torture to save the ones they love. And so, when his parents were murdered…. Silas attempted to burn the place down. He was 20 years old at the time…a healer yes but he still had not changed…not until that night. He was barely alive when I helped him escape…yet he lived, lived and changed and became a flame of fury and passion. He hated vampires, loathed every single one of them…even me."

It was then that he looked away, looked to the stars, then the ground and moved back into the shadows. He pressed his back against the books and tilted his head back as he allowed his eyes to mist over. "He blamed me, Willa…held me responsible for his parent's deaths, for the murder of your grandparents."

My lips parted, no…I refused to believe he was…I couldn't. I walked towards him, past the ever-watching stars and into the shadows that he lingered in. It was as if he was afraid, like Jasper had been…to be watched and judged by those glowing souls as if they were a jury of the night. "Why did he think that?" I asked softly, stopping before him and drawing his eyes to meet mine.

"Because I didn't stop it." His words were cold and factual. "I couldn't stop it…no matter how much I wanted to."

"Then you were not responsible for it." I told him, pleaded with him as he looked away in shame. "You were but a mere witness…you didn't…I see what you are trying to do." I suddenly confessed to him. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"And what is that?" He asked.

"You're trying to paint yourself as a monster, attempting to put false qualities on yourself because it helps ease your pain in some strange way. You loath yourself still…I see it….I know it. But you need to stop because it's not true." I told him honestly.

"Willa." He exhaled.

"Please." I begged softly. "I've seen you work. You've committed your entire life to saving others, healing their souls and hearts and mind. What monster would do that? You have a pure heart."

He shook his head. "I don't have a heart at all."

"Yes, you do." I told him. "Maybe not physically but in other ways that are far more important…far more mortal then you could ever realize. You are the furthest thing from a monster…yet you still believe you are one. Why is that? Because it's not just because of what's happened in the past…it's something more, something –"

"Willa, I envy you." "I've dedicated my life to healing others yet I am trapped in the skin crafted from blood lust and twisted shadow. You…your species…you're everything I want to be. That is why I am a monster. Because I am poisoned with that green-eyed monster."

"Aren't we all?" I could see him press himself further into the shadows, see him hide and cower in shame but no. I walked towards the curtain…brushing my hand against the fabric before looking back towards him. He pleaded me with his eyes not too, and a part of me hesitated. For he looked so vulnerable, so broken that suddenly I felt as if I had tumbled into a place that I was not supposed to. I could hear the voices of his family upstairs…hear them argue and protest and no…I looked back up to the stars, back up to where my parent's and grandparent's shone and watched and judged. And so, they would, quietly as we carried on and lived and loved and fought. Yet they would remain silent, remain as memories and reminders and impossible possibilities. So, I pulled the curtain back, allowed the starlight to flood the room and shine against Carlisle's skin. He closed his eyes, yet he could no shield his body nor his face.

"Don't hide," I whispered. "For we are all the same. It does not matter what race or species we belong to because at the core…at the heart of it all, we are all the same. All wanting to live and love and blossom, all hungry for that one thing that binds us all." I told him, my voice strong as I spoke, as I my fingers sill held soft fabric of the curtain. "The stars above cannot hurt you…cannot touch you. For you are pure Carlisle, you may have the body of a vampire yet you have the heart of a healer. And as for the green-eyed monster, we all have that in us, no matter the species. Perhaps you could even say that we all have some darkness within us, whether it is small or large, buried or soaring but you…you need never hide or cower in shame or guilt. Because I know, Lilia and your family and all of those who you have touched with your almighty gift of medicine…we know who you are. And that…" I released the curtain, walking towards him and slowly raised my hand to caress his cheek. My fingertips were so gentle against his skin, so dainty and fragile as they caressed his cool skin. "That is that you are not a monster."

"It is like you have stolen her voice," he whispered. "For when I look at you now…all I see is her, my Lilia." He sucked in a deep breath, his chest rising and falling as his eyes looked towards that one star who he knew was her. "Which is why you and Jasper…you can't…it won't end well."

"No," I shook my head, "you cannot let species or race interrupt the uncontrollable force of love. For it is just that, uncontrollable. You cannot choose it, cannot stop it and you know that to be true." My words were so fragile as I spoke, so filled with hope and innocence and dreams. "And whatever happens…it will all be worth it." As I blinked, tears fell from my eyes and teased my lips as I spoke. "For it is better to love and be vulnerable, than to shut ourselves away with fear." He gasped at my words, grasped my hand that rested against his cheek. For I knew if he could cry then he would.

His touch was ice cold against mine, strong yet so careful and gentle. "I wanted to teach you in payment for Silas and Lilia…in some feeble hope that it would redeem me as I hunted underneath their watchful gaze but…now I see that is not why I have to help you. I want to help you because I…because I care about you like a father would a daughter…like Silas would have cared for you if he could be here now." I knew what he was saying was troubling for him, hard as he allowed and opened himself up to admit such things that he did not want to, that he was afraid of. "He would be so proud of you, they…your parents…I know it." A small smile waltzed across my lips. For I hope it was true, begged that it would be true especially with how I now knew Silas perceived Vampires. "No more hiding," He said softly. "No more separation or divide of species…despite the challenges that will come with it and I can assure you Willa that the more your power grows, the stronger my family's love, Jasper's love grows for you…"

"I know." I quickly whispered, licking the tears that coated my lips.

"Then welcome to our family, my darling little dreamer." And before another word was spoken, he took me in his arms and held me like a father would a daughter, underneath those ever-watching stars…untied, despite what the dead may have desired or wished.

* * *

We talked for what seemed like hours…safe in that small study as we ignored and forgot about the discussion upstairs. A part of me was afraid to leave this room, to leave Carlisle's side because suddenly…I had never felt safer. We sat on a couch as we talked, as he told me of his past in its entirety…as we bared ourselves to one another in the most vulnerable and exposing of ways. And as we talked, the more we shared…I could feel this invisible threat slowly knitting our hearts together. I admired him so, was in complete awe of him and I…I did feel guilty, as if I was betraying my own flesh and blood…my own father by finding that figure in someone else. Yet I couldn't stop this bond from forming, did not want too. For I had always longed for a father, always dreamed and hoped and desired…and now, I felt as if I was capturing that. We had so much in common that our essence, our philosophy of life, our hopes and dreams…they were near identical reflections of each other.

We became so drunk on each other's presence and knowledge and past that we did not hear the knock at the door…did not hear it open nor see as Rosalie walked into the room. It was only when she cleared her throat that we were brought out of our trance. Smiling sweetly at each other, I tore my eyes away from his and met hers. She was the most beautiful creature I had ever laid eyes on…yet there was something within her that made my heart call to hers in a way that I did not understand.

"Rosalie." Carlisle exhaled, opening himself up to include her in our conversation. She stood awkwardly, her eyes never leaving mine and I knew…I could feel it…what she wanted, what I represented...

"They're still talking upstairs," she said nonchalantly, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "Personally, I have to say that I don't mind the idea of a vampire and a healer…but a human…" She rolled her eyes. "Anyways, things are getting a little heated about the whole Edward and Bella thing and I…I was wondering if I could talk to you, if it's alright?" Rosalie asked, checking her nails over once before giving me a small smile. I felt my heart flutter, rise and fall with this strange relief.

"I…I would adore that." I told her honestly.

"Good. I haven't told anyone about this and knowing how protective Jasper can get…" she clicked her tongue, "would you like to go for a walk? Or go somewhere different? I could use some fresh air exposure."

I nodded. "I would love that, truly." I stood looking towards Carlisle who regarded Rosalie with cautious eyes, as if he was hesitant about the idea. Yet I did not care, for I had yet to truly know Rosalie and so I withheld any judgement or fear or timid nature.

"Then let's go."

* * *

We ended up walking through the forest, telling one another of our pasts…I was surprised at how open she was, and how honest and genuine she seemed. Yet as she spoke, there seemed to be this constant shadow of loneliness and suffering, as if she was trapped in a life she would never have carved for herself. Because despite her family, despite the love she shared with Emmett…she had been abused, tortured and robbed of that dream that had once blossomed her youthful innocence and meaning of her life. She was frozen…frozen in a world that she did not how to live in. And so, as we walked…I couldn't help but reach my hand out to hers and thread my fingers with hers. She shuddered at my warmth, at the softness of my skin but…she did not let go.

We paused in the forest, stopped our walk to nowhere in particular as we looked at one another. I was not afraid of her, not in the slightest despite knowing what she wanted, knowing what I could give her.

"If we had happy endings, we would all be under gravestones by now." She whispered in the darkness, her voice so lost in that false hope and lost possibilities that seemed too far away to ever touch. "Yet we keep living…frozen…dead."

"Rosalie," I swallowed softly, "I want you to know that if I could…I would without hesitation." I told her gently, squeezing her hand in mine. "I know I am a new healer, that my blood hasn't matured enough but…I want to give you a gift." I took a step forward, adverting my eyes to the ground shyly. I knew what happened with Carlisle and Lilia, knew the dangers and possibilities of addiction but…despite the consequences I could understand Lilia, feel that same need within my very own heart. And I couldn't ignore it. "When my blood matures, I want to give you that gift…to change you into a human, even if it is for just a day and," I quickly continued on before she could interject. "I want to be your friend, because for what it's worth, from one frozen creature to another, I think we can help one another. Whether that be in simply letting the other know we are not alone or going on shopping trips together." I smiled slightly, and she released a warm puff of laugher.

"I would love to have you as my friend, Willa." She said with a small smile. "And besides, it would be nice to have some company that understands the importance of fashion and self-care."

I bit my smiling lip. "Well then how about tomorrow, you and I go out shopping. You have a few years on me though so I'd love some tips and advice."

"Always." She said lightly. "I…" She paused, her voice becoming soft as if she did not know how to thread her words together. "I don't know how to respond to your offer about allowing me to be a human for a day. I've never tasted human blood, never wanted it inside me but…to be warm, to be mortal, I don't know how I could ever repay you for such a gift, even if it's for just a day."

I licked my lips, waiting for her eyes to meet mine before I spoke. "There is only one thing I would ever ask." I told her delicately. "Come with me to the hospital one day, to the children's ward. I know you've always wanted children, so for one hour…maybe you could come with me? Help me care for them and allow yourself to feel their love in your heart. Because trust me when I say that children, they are everything we adults should inspire to be."

"Alright," She said after a moment or two of consideration. "I promise and for what it's worth…I think your perfect for Jasper." Her sweet words brought a shy smile to my lips as we continued to walk, my fingers falling through hers as our hands now lay at our sides, swaying slightly as we walked underneath the stars. "And Willa?" I looked up at her, smiling as I saw a new light glimmering in her eyes…as if she too had found something that she had once been searching for. "I think you're perfect."

"I think your perfect too." I told her honestly. "Perfect heart, perfect mind, perfect hair, you name it…you're perfect Rosalie."

And so underneath the stars and the dead a new friendship was born, a friendship that would soon challenge, blossom and change the way mortals and immortals alike perceived Vampires and Healers.

* * *

With the time passing over into the early hours of the morning, my fear regarding Bella being at home all by herself started to nip at my heart and snake down my shivering spine. It was 2am when I said goodbye to Rosalie, when she promised that she'd let her family know that I had returned home and that she'd tell Jasper to come over once their family had finished talking. The forest was silent as I wandered through it, as I took my shoes off to feel the dirt and leaves snuggle in-between my toes. I sighed in pleasure as every breeze coated my skin, smiled at every creature I saw and hummed to the lullaby that was the night's song.

A large part of me felt largely at peace, like a small seed had began blossoming within my heart and the events this evening were both the sunshine and rain that helped it bloom. I was growing closer to the Cullens, in ways that I had not experienced before. For it was different with Fitz.

 _Fitz…_

He still held a part of my heart, still cradled it in his chest as I held a part of his heart inside me. I wonder what he would think of all this, if he was that creature I had seen in the forest before? But no…he couldn't be and after seeing Rosalie, after listening to the stories of the Cullen's past, I wished with everything that created me…that he would have a perfect mortal life. I hadn't had time to fully consider the consequences of being immortal…of being frozen forever and always as the people around me withered and melted into the soil and then sky. It frightened me…terrified me at the prospect of seeing my friends dying, of seeing Charlie and Bella and Fitz…I shook my head, trying to let the imagines of them with grey hair and wrinkles fade. But as much as I tried, I couldn't. That feeling of loneliness suddenly crept up on me, slithered in-between my veins as it taunted my heart like it was its prey.

I did not know what would become of Bella and Edward, but the Cullens…they were the only other people like me that I knew, the only other immortals and suddenly…I realized that I may just be spending eternity with them. It was then that I stopped walking, that I allowed my eyes to mist over as I took in that possibility. I allowed it to fill me, consume me as I saw us as a family…a family of vampires and a healer with Jasper…

 _Jasper…_

I allowed my eyes to flutter open, for my blood to blush and warm as I thought of him and us and what could be. A shy smile waltzed onto my lips as I began walking, as I remembered…until suddenly, my eyes captured something that I did not except to see. A large bear. My eyes widened at the sight of it and suddenly I felt my knees tremble and my smile grow so big that I bit my lip to control my glee and wonderment. I had never seen a bear so close before, never had a chance to marvel at its beauty. The bear was large, a full adult as it slowly walked through the forest. I had no desire to disturb it, no desire to be seen for I knew I was in its home. Here, I was the intruder and so I did not want to scar it. I felt my legs weaken as I crouched down in a cluster of leaves, my arms wrapping around my legs as I simply watched it. The bear was so mighty, so majestic that I bit my lip a litter harder to keep my excitement and awe contained within me.

Raising my hand, my fingers grazed my lips as I beheld this creature, as I suddenly felt the warmth within me grow, that sweet lightness as my gaze flicked up to the stars…to my blood family, to Lilia…for I felt inspired by her, felt her pulse dance in me as I wished and dreamed for my future, for a love like she had…for that darling compassion and generous heart.

It was only when a twig snapped behind me that my warmth dissolved, that I craned my neck over my shoulder to look into the darkness of the trees behind me. And there…shrouded in shadow with frightening glare…were those two red eyes. My lips parted softly and my breath thinned. Those eyes…the way they were shaped. I had to know, I…I got to my feet in one graceful movement, my hands straightening the skirts of my dress as I felt myself become shy.

"H-hello?" The word was so soft as it escaped my lips, as I walked towards those eyes that did not move away from mine, that did not blink or waver. "I-" I brushed back a branch, bending down to go underneath it before straightening up. My fingers were so delicate against the trees as I walked towards this figure of mystery and shadow. "I won't hurt you, if…if you are afraid." I said gently. "Who..who are you?" Yet when I asked that question, my foot caught underneath a branch and I felt myself fall to the ground with a small thump and a squeal.

As my body collided into the dirt, as my squeal of surprise soared through the air…another cry joined it. A deep, low roar broke through the air and night and as I dared to look behind me, my eyes widened with fear as I saw the bear come racing towards me.

* * *

 **Hello my lovelies! There you have part 2! Part 3 of this chapter should be posted before this coming weekend ends! Until then you have a Fitz and Willa encounter to look forward to, an M rated Jasper and Willa moment and some more exciting things! Please review/follow/favorite and eee lucky 100 reviewer will get a shout out! I love you all so much my shining stars! Much Love, Lisette**

* * *

 **~ Review Responses ~**

 **Littlecosma001: N'aww you're so sweet! Well you are special, incredibly so! You have no idea how happy your reviews make me...they give me hop that I actually have a talent and am making people happy! You've inspired me so much, given me confidence when I didn't think I had any and I'll never be able to thank you enough for that! Hehe you read that at 3am?! Eeee I can imagine! I hope you liked that scene between Carlilse and Lilia...despite how heartbreaking it was, I think it was one of my favorite scenes to write and it'll add so much more to what's to come! I think other then Jasper and Willa's relationship, my favorite to write would be Carlilse and Willa's! I have so much in store for them and Fitz and Willa too! Especially in the next chapter! Oh no you could never annoy me, I adore your reviews! I'm so excitied to write the new moon plot! And the next chapter as well which will be up before the end of this coming weekend! I just started university up again, but I'm so excited to write more! I truly hope that you enjoyed this chapater and I can't wait to see what you think of it! Much Love, Lisette!**

 **Arkytior's Song: Thank you so much for your review! You're so sweet! I really hoped you liked this chapter and I can't wait to see what you thought of it! Much Love, Lisette**

 **BelguimBear: Ah honey! Thank you so much! I was so nervous about posting these chapters because it didn't have such a heavy focus on Jasper/Willa but ah! Knowing that you enjoyed finding about and seeing her relationship with Carlilse and Fitz...it makes my heart so happy! Writing Carlilse and Lilia's story was so heartbreakingly beautiful for me and seeing your reaction to it...you're a shining star! I hope you enjoy think chapter too and I can't wait to see what you think of it! Much Love, Lisette!**

 **jgood27: Hi! Thank you so much for your beautiful review! You made my heart melt and flutter! I hope you liked this chapter too! Much Love, Lisette**

 **SmallLittleCagedBird: N'aww thank you! You're such a sweetheart! I hope you liked this chapter too and I can't wait to see what you think! Much Love, Lisette**


	18. Chapter 15 - Part III

**Authors Note: Hello my lovelies! Here is the final part of chapter 15! I truly hope you like it and please let me know what you think of it! You're reviews mean the world to me! Thank you to all who had followed, favorited and read this story too! i think story-telling is truly the most beautiful form of escapism and it makes me feel so blessed and overwhelmed that I can give that to some...even if it is just for a few moments! I would also like to give a special shoutout to the most beautiful and extraordinary Littlecosma001! You have the most beautiful and pure heart and reading your reviews has brought so many tears to my eyes! You've made me feel like I can write, given me hope when I didn't think I had any, and have inspired me in more ways then one! The next chapter will be dedicated to you my lovely! Thank you so much my shining star!**

 **~ May we defeat loneliness with compassion, be brave by sharing our vulnerabilities, and live in a way that sparks hope and inspiration in the darkest of corners ~**

My heart suddenly felt weak inside me, as if all my adrenaline had faded and left me a mere wide-eyed statue. I couldn't move, couldn't breathe or blink as the bear raced towards us with such untameable anger and lust for blood and death. I first thought it was running for me, that my life was the one it wanted to claw and rip and snap at…yet I was wrong. For its eyes did not look at me, but rather what was behind me. As if in some way, this charge was an act of protection and…. the creature shrouded in shadow behind me suddenly leapt out and collided with bear, a guttural growl vibrating from his chest as he slammed the bear into the ground before rolling of it into a crouching position. And what I saw…felt like a hand had ripped my heart from my chest and viciously dig its nails into it until my heart was nothing but a pile of trembling ashes that mixed with that too gentle of a breeze.

"No." The word escaped me in a breathless plea. "Please," I whispered so softly to the listening dead, "please let this be but a nightmare." Yet the longer I held the creatures gaze, the more I felt my eyes prickle and feeble tears dribble down my cheeks…I knew it was not. For the creature in front of me, crouched with his shaggy brown hair draped over his once blue eyes, was Fitz. I stood up on shaky legs, brushing my hair behind my ears in a shy gesture as I walked towards him, protecting the bear whimpering on the ground by placing myself in-between them. I could hear it's breathing stutter, hear as it's rumbling voice cracked with pain. I could feel my healer's blood fizz with need, feel my pulse quicken and push against my veins as it called out to the bear…yet I couldn't tear my eyes away from Fitz, couldn't stop my tears and quivering lower lip. It couldn't be...

I wrapped my arms around my small form as I watched him stand with shocked and desperate eyes. He seemed taller, fuller as his white top and unbuttoned checkered shirt stretched over his now porcelain skin. I felt myself become so vulnerable, so weak and fragile as all my emotions leaked out of my quivering soul and painted every inch of my skin. He looked so much like my Fitz…yet he wasn't. His eyes, those blue eyes that I would forever loose myself in where gone and replaced by these two red orbs that seemed endless in their depths. His jaw was tight, and his stance so rigid and tough as I dared to walk towards him – my pace so slow and cautious as if I were approaching a wild lion.

I swallowed deeply, my tears falling into my mouth and soothing my dry throat. I couldn't speak, couldn't…what could I say? What could I? I stopped just before him, sucking in my lower lip as he refused to look at me now that I was a few inches away. There was no warmth from him, no love or compassion…just hate, just…pain. He towered over me as I tilted my neck back to look up at him. His skin was so pale, so perfect…to perfect. Those freckles that had once scattered across his cheeks like fallen stars or fairy dust, they were now gone. I dared to take a step closer, his head turning to the right to further his gaze from me. But I couldn't…he was my Fitz, my best friend, my…my heart had rested inside him, had found its home and comfort as it nestled in it for warmth and love. I looked towards his chest, to that place where his heart once beat. I blinked quickly, trying to ease the flow of tears as memories of him and I clouded my vision.

I nibbled at my lip as I raised a shaky hand. Fitz shifted his weight on his feet, as if he knew what I was thinking, of where I was going to place my hand. My fingers hovered millimeters away from where his heart had once rested. The tip of my nose burned as I drew in a quick breath and pressed my hand against his chest in the gentlest of manners. I let out a raw sob at the coldness of his skin that seeped through the material of this clothes. I could feel no heartbeat, no nothing as I suddenly collapsed against him and wrapped my arms around his torso, holding him as I cried against his chest and whispered how sorry I was to him.

I pressed myself closer against him, trying to melt my body into his and pretend that this wasn't real. It couldn't be real, it couldn't be. He didn't wrap his arms around me, didn't move as my fingers crumpled his shirt and I held on to him tighter and tighter. I was desperate and needy and foolish in my overwhelming need to feel him but I didn't care. He was here and as I closed my eyes I tried to lose myself in our memories, tried to forget the coolness of him and try and focus on the shape of his body. But even that wasn't the same. Where he was once soft, he was now hard and his smell, but his scent…his scent was the same. And so, I buried myself in it, sniffled and nuzzled my nose against his chest as I cried softly. This couldn't be real, this couldn't be…

"This isn't real, this isn't real!" I cried through the apologies and pleas for him to hold me too. "Please," I begged weakly, "please hold me, please wrap your arms around me please." I cried softly. "I need to feel you, to know…to…to…" I pulled away, taking his arms in mine and trying to wrap them around me. "Fitz please, please!" I tried to place his warms around my waist, but every time my hands let go of his wrists he let his arms fall to his side. "No, Fitz stop, please, please just hold me, please, please…. LOOK AT ME!" I suddenly screamed and his head snapped towards mine and our eyes finally met. I hadn't realized how heavy and quick my breathing was, how much I was shaking as I screamed those words in a voice I had never heard from myself before. It was so raw, so desperate and weak and vulnerable and…

"Save me." His voice broke as his eyes wept into mine. My lips parted in innocent surprise and pain as he crumbled before me. His features became so soft, so lost and fragmented as if his self-hate was eating him away and there was barely anything left. "Save me." He repeated, falling to his knees and looking up at me in absolute despair. "Kill me, kill me Willa please…I'm not meant for this, I…free me." His hands gripped my waist as he pressed his head against me and cried without tears. His whole body shook as he pulled me against him, as I felt my knees grow weak and I dropped down to his level – the leaves crunching as my knees pressed against them. I held his face in my hands, ran my fingers through his hair as he looked at me with the most shattered eyes I had ever seen.

"What happened to you?" I asked him softly, cradling his face in my hands as my warm breath coated his face. The question must have triggered something raw and vicious within him because the moment I spoke those words he grasped my forearms and slammed me down against the dirt, his body leaning over me as he pinned me down with a grip that made my skin bleed and my bones whimper. But I did not dare let him know, because right now I was not sure if he knew how strong he was.

He lowered his face towards mine, his eyes flicking towards my neck before returning back to my eyes with guilt and shame. I could only imagine how hard it must be for him to restrain himself, for his newborn blood lust must be driving him crazy. And Fitz…he was too sensitive for this world, too good and precious and…

"I love you." I whispered softly. "No matter what you are I…I love you." My heart swelled against my ribcage as I cried softly, as I watched his eyes become gentle and familiar.

"Do you remember when I asked to kiss you? When I said it was the logical thing to do?" I nodded at his words, at his fragility and familiarity that I was slowly losing myself in. Because despite how hard his grip was on me…I was trying to imagine it like we were playing, like how we used to tickle one another and pin the other to the ground, rolling and flipping until the other one conceded. "I was so nervous and I…well I…I um…" I couldn't help but smile, smile as the Fitz I knew was leaking through…yet in that way it only hurt more. "You're so warm…too warm. It's like when my skin touches yours, it burns." He fell back, releasing me as he got to his feet and ran his fingers through his hair before pulling at it and release a deep and guttural scream.

I quickly got to my feet, racing towards him as I fought to take both of his hands in mine. But he grabbed my face instead, squeezed my cheeks together before allowing his touch to become gentle yet his eyes…his face was contorted in such pain…too much pain.

"I can't live like this, Willa." He breathed, his words crumbling like ashes against my skin. "I…please, please make the pain stop." My eyes widened as he withdrew one of his hands from my face and pulled out a knife. He held it in-between us, the tip pointing towards his chest. I shook my head, tears streaming down my cheeks as desperation glimmered in his eyes. "This isn't right I…please…kill me."

"No, no…I can't lose you." I told him with this soft feverish panic. "You, I can help you…we can find a way through this together and…and I, I know some people who can help you. They are vampires like you and Fitz," I cupped his face in my hands, ignoring the knife in-between us as I searched his eyes for that prince of knowledge who I had fallen in love with. "We are in this together, you and I, forever and always." The heaviness of my heart became too much to bare as his brokenness leaked more and more from him. "But what happened to you my angel?" I asked him, my fingers caressing his cheeks. "How did this…how did this come to be?"

His eyes misted over as if he were trying to repress the memory and I broke at the sight of it. His features scrunched up in pain, and I…I leaned forward, minding the knife as I went up on my tiptoes and pressed a dainty kiss against his tense nose. His eyes fluttered open in surprise, as if he had never felt such a light and gentle gesture before. A suddenly flash of possibilities raced across both of our minds…possibilities of what our lives would have been like if he kissed me that day, if my mama was still alive…if we were still mere mortals. That bitter-sweetness fizzed between us as I felt the hilt of the knife press against me. We had loved one another in silence, and now…as we held this moment in time, I knew we still did…knew that our hearts were captors of the others but that it could never be. For I was with Jasper and he…he was too far away in every sense of the words.

We were star-crossed…

"Tell me." I whispered once more, "don't be afraid." I took the hilt of the knife in my hand and slowly pried his fingers from it. It was heavy in my grasp, rough as I took it from him and dropped it into a cluster of leaves. I then closed the gap in-between us, pressing our chests against one another so he could feel my warmth, so he knew that he was not alone, that he was safe. My neck was titled back so I could look up into his eyes as he looked down at me- our fingers intertwining like they had done so many times before. "You need never be afraid when you are with me."

And so…with soft and broken eyes that were desperate to cry yet couldn't…he told me the tale of how he came to be the immortal prince before me.

 _The night was cool as Fitz lay trapped underneath the floorboards of an empty classroom. His body stiff and aching from the lack of movement that followed his thrashing and feeble attempts to escape. Ever since Willa had left, his wild princess who he silently professed his love to through his dreams and wishes and thoughts…the bullying had worsened. He became their favorite target, and despite fighting back…he was not strong enough. And so here he now lay, forgotten and abandoned as dust and dirt from the classroom above flittered through the floorboards and coated his skin. He kept his eyes shut, keeping that vision of Willa strong and radiant against the back of his eye-lids. He dreamt of her every night, longed for those moments of sleep where he could be that confident and courageous boy that he wishes he could be, where he could take her in his arms without hesitation nor fear and confess his love to her in all the ways he knew how._

 _He slowly clenched his fingers, feeling the bones contort on one another as the ache in his heart continued to grow and that darkness in his mind drowned him. He was struggling, mentally and physically in this new world without her. For his life was now draped in sheets of violence and harshness and he could not escape it. A sudden shuffling against the floorboards caused his eyes to flicker open. Someone had just come into the room, no…not just someone, but multiple someone's. His throat was so dry as he opened his mouth to speak that only a feeble croak came out. So, he raised his hands, banging them against the floorboards in hopes that these unknown people would be kind and help him. The shuffling quickened as he heard the desk above where he lay be moved._

 _Fingers then threaded in-between the floorboards and yanked, yanked until the wood broke and was ripped away to reveal three men in their early twenties crouched before him with red eyes. The man in the middle outstretched a hand towards him, his eyes soft in understanding._

 _"Don't worry fella, we're not here to hurt you." He said, his voice silky and reassuring as he brushed his shaggy blond hair away from his eyes. They were so red, so deep and dark yet…Fitz did not think they were Vampires, but only assumed they were wearing some sort of contact lenses._

 _Fitz took the man's hand, furrowing his eyebrows at how cold his touch was, how strong it was as he was pulled up from underneath the floorboards and placed to sit on top of them. The moonlight flittered through the windows…illuminating the room and the three strangers before him. The one who had helped him seemed to be older than the others…and the two on either side looked so much like brothers with their matching black hair and bone structure._

 _"Who are you?" Fitz asked, placing a hand on his throat as he spoke. His knuckles were ripped open, bleeding as that red liquid dribbled down his hands and twisted around his wrists._

 _The man in the middle smiled, and Fitz was not sure what to take from it. "We," he gestured to the two boys next to him. "Are just like you…. we're the bullied and abused and now…it's our time to make them feel what we did." And before Fitz would blink, before he could put together a logical thought or sentence… the man lunged towards him and pieced his neck with his teeth. Fitz's head slammed back against the floorboard, as venom leaked into his system and poisoned him frozen and changed. He had never experienced such pain before, never imagined that such a pain could even exist. His whole body and mind and heart was screaming, yet no sound came out of his mouth as his mortal life was viciously robbed from him and replaced with blood lust and torment._

 _For his life as a newborn vampire was wicked and dark._

 _The Vampires who had turned him were a part of a vicious gang – drunk on the idea of not just killing to feed, but to torture their victims until they screamed for death yet had to wait to receive it. And Fitz…he had been made to watch, to watch not only the vampire's behavior but to stalk the humans they took. For they only claimed the lowest of the low. Fitz became tormented by what he saw, by what both mortals and immortals were capable of…and it killed his already dead soul._

 _And so, he ran, ran towards that one shred of light that still flickered in him – towards Willa. Yet when he found her…. he was too afraid to approach her, to ashamed and consumed with self-hatred, with pain and suffering that he could not still. He was broken beyond repair…even now…as he looked into those eyes of the girl he loved…he was beyond retrieval, or least that was what he believed…._

 _He had never known love…spoken love when he was alive, never allowed himself to kiss the girl that secretly claimed his heart and mind from the moment she found him alone and broken in that classroom. For even now, even as she stood before him…he longed for her, to feel her love, her lips, her skin…for their hearts to be forever wed to one another. Yet he knew she had found another, seen it and he…he knew in his dead and lost heart that he could never be what she needed…despite what she may say or foolishly believe._

"So, let me ask you this now," Fitz told me as I wept silently. "Kill me, for I cannot bare to live this way…i…I cant…"

"No, no, no no!" I told him, trying to remain strong for him, trying to remain clear with my words as his story shattered me. For I knew that if I could…I would trade lives with him, I would give him my happiness in exchange for his suffering in a heartbeat. I had always viewed him as an angel, as the most generous and pure natured person I had ever met. He was my gentle prince, a god of untameable knowledge and compassion despite everything he had been through. When he was not working on his experiments or reading, he was always doing volunteer work, always finding ways to help others and yet…he was abused constantly. It was as if his past of loneliness, darkness and pain made him more compassionate, more desperate to give and sooth but now…angels were never made to live on earth and he, in every sense of the word, was an angel, an angel now trapped in the skin of a monster. Yet despite his plea, despite his pain…I couldn't…I wouldn't.

"I can't." I told him, cupping his face in my hands. "I can't lose you again."

Fitz shook his head, pressing his lips against my hand and allowed his lips to linger there. They were so soft, so cold yet gentle and delicate and…

"You already have." I sucked in a stuttering breath at his words, shook my head as I nibbled at my bottom lip and quivered as the arms that had once been wrapped around my waist fell to his sides. "From the moment I died…"

"No, no you're not dead." I cried helplessly, trying to hold onto any piece of him that I could. "You're right here, you…I…" I pressed my body against his, wrapping my arms tightly around him as I buried my face against his chest, drinking in his scent. "We're right here together and I won't leave you. I'll never leave you for…for I…" I pulled back slightly to look into his eyes. "For I love you too much."

Fitz brushed the air away from my eyes, cradling my wet cheek in his large palm. "But you have Jasper now and he…you…you're met to be together forever."

"But you're my best friend." I cried out weakly. "We were supposed to be forever…we…we can be forever and…and Jasper will love you, he could be your friend and you'll find someone, you can have a family…we can be a family and…we could be like the three musketeers"

"Willa?"

At the sound of my name coming from another behind me, I turned around with wide wet eyes to see Jasper. His face was painted with concern and worry, with a soft tenderness as he looked at Fitz behind me. He started walking towards me, with such power and grace and authority in each of his steps that I couldn't help feeling the need to run to him and burry myself in his arms and love. I felt Fitz take a few steps away from me, from Jasper as if he thought he was intruding. I looked back up at Fitz, trying to grasp his hand in mine but he quickly pulled away from me, embarrassment and shyness now claiming him.

"That's your future Willa…now don't look back." And before I could reply, before I could blink or breathe…. he disappeared.

"No…"I exhaled, falling back at his abrupt exist. "No, no, no, no…" I fell to my knees, my hands pushing away leaves and dirt as I searched foolishly for any trace of him. My breathing increases as I suddenly felt it engulf me. He was gone, he was gone, he was gone…I couldn't breathe, I couldn't…I quickly got to my feet and started to run, run towards nowhere in particular as I called his name, screamed it before a strong pair of arms wrapped around my waist, turned me around and pressed me against a solid chest.

"Willa, Willa breathe." Jasper's voice was calm in my ear as he held me tightly, as he cradled the back of my head with his hand and wrapped the other around my waist. "He's alright, Fitz is alright. His gift is teleportation Willa, he's alright. You are alright." He pressed his lips against my temple, held me gently and lovingly and patiently. He let me cry, let me nuzzle my nose against his chest until my eyes dried and my heart steadied. His arms were so strong, so protective that I suddenly felt as if nothing could touch us, as if his hold was shielding all the darkness and complexity of life. It was just Jasper and I…my one constant in this frightening world.

I felt my knees become weak, felt my body slump against his as my whole world came crashing down on me…Fitz, Bella, my family, who I was…immortality…I was drowning in it…and I couldn't get out, couldn't see…not anymore. I had tried to be strong, tried to hide it but now…everything was out, everything was real and I could no longer deny the reality of it all…how my life would be, how everything had changed. Jasper's arms tightened around me as he held me up, as his lips brushed my forehead and he whispered soothing words that my stuttering heart couldn't hear.

"I just want to run away." I suddenly confessed, pulling away so I could look up into his eyes. They were filled with such worry, such protection and tender love as he moved his hand to caress my cheek. "Run away with me…even if it is just for a few days…please. Can we escape this world?" I nibbled at my lower lip as I waited for his answer, as his eyes held me up and his fingers were gentle against my skin. "Run away with me." Colossal anguish spilled from my eyes and into his as I stared at him. I could feel my heart press against my ribcage, as if in that moment it wanted to reveal itself to him. His body leaned against mine, gently as he searched my eyes and lowered his lips towards mine.

My chest rose and fell with feverish anticipation. He pulled me closer to him, as if he too needed to feel every part of me against him. The tip of his nose brushed against mine, a tiny nuzzle as his lips grazed mine yet did not kiss me. We both closed our eyes, both became lost in this teasing gesture. My warm breath slipped through my lips and whistled down this throat, making him swallow and sigh and …

"Three days." He whispered against my lips. "Let's run away for three days and forget."

"Where will we go?" I asked him softly, shyly as I swallowed and nuzzled my nose underneath his.

He paused before answering, as if the place he had in mind was too precious to reveal to the listening trees and echoing wind. "Somewhere safe, somewhere secret." He whispered. "Somewhere we can both be normal." I nodded timidly, before suddenly remembering the bear.

Guilt nipped at my heart. "Oh no," I breathed out, panic glazing over my veins and sapping them an electrifying blue as I ran past Jasper and towards the bear. The bear still lay in the same stop as before. I gently collapsed to my knees beside it, running my fingers along its soft fur as I searched for the wounds that rendered it unable to move.

"It's alright," I whispered softly to the creature. "I'll save you." I bent down, lowering my lips to press a dainty kiss on its wet, velvety nose.

"Willa," I looked to my right, seeing Jasper had crouched down next to me, his eyes strained as he looked the bear over. "I…"

I shook my head, pleading with him to control his thirst. "Not this one." I told him delicately, threading my fingers through his at his pained expression. "I'll meet you in my room." I told him softly. "Please."

"Darlin' I…" I squeezed his hand, placing my other one on top of his. His hands were so large compared to mine, so strong and historic as I traced the bite marks that painted him there. "We need to talk about this, about what I am versus who you are. I survive on blood, animal blood and –"

"Just not this one." I quickly rushed out before clearing my throat and softening my words. "We'll find a way." He titled his head in acknowledgment, yet he still did not move – his jaw remaining tight as he lost himself in my eyes. "What is it Jasper?" I asked him gently.

"I'm afraid to leave you my Darlin', woods aren't a safe place at night…especially for someone as pure and love as you." He brushed my hair behind my ear with his free hand, an endearing smile pulling at his lips.

"I'll be alright." I whispered, sucking in my lower lip as my eyes became weak with love. "I'll be fast." I slowly removed my hand from his and walked to where the fallen knife that Fitz had once held lay. I picked it up, feeling it's weight in my hands…feeling the ghost of Fitz's fingertips as he had once held it. I looked over my shoulder back at Jasper who still remained crouched by the bear. "It won't scar." I told him lightly, seeing the worry in his face.

"No." He said, standing and approaching me with long and strong strides. "But it'll hurt." His eyes casted downwards to the knife I held. "It'll always hurt…every time."

"This is me, this is what I am, what I do." I replied delicately.

"At what cost?" He asked sadly.

I looked away from his eyes, knowing that what lay ahead would be complicated and hard. But these three coming days…we could forget about it all…could lose ourselves in one another as if we were two mere mortals having a romantic affair.

"I'll see you soon." I told him, unable to answer his previous question. He gave me a timid nod, his jaw line strong as he clenched his teeth with hard understanding. He then turned to leave, but before he could use his Vampire speed to disappear from me, I called his name and ran towards him.

"Jasper!" He turned back towards me, his eyes softening as I ran towards him. Our bodies collided with a gentle force as I went up on my tiptoes and kissed him with a fragile passion. His body was stiff against mine first, shy as his hands remained at his sides in surprise before he picked me up in his arms and held me close. He kissed me slowly, each motion so desperate and timid as my eyes misted over and my body melted into his. He stole my breath, stole my heart as it finally escaped me and buried itself within him. I felt his tongue brush my lips, silently asking for permission to enter. I nodded shyly, parting my wet lips so our tongues could intertwine. I ran my fingers through his hair, twirling a strand of his honey locks around my finger as his hands caressed and roamed my body with silent rapture. He was so gentle, so timid and polite with every kiss and touch of his hands against me.

My cheeks flushed with heat as he slowly pulled away, nuzzling his nose against mine as he whispered a sweet and breathless I love you before once again disappearing into the night and leaving me to do what my healer's pulse was so desperately calling me to do.

* * *

Once the bear was healed and healthy, I nimbly walked back towards my house – the memories of this evening causing my blood to thicken as a new-found heaviness now rested on my shoulders. For my thoughts were constantly on him…on my Fitz who was now somewhere out there, an immortal prince burring himself in self-hatred and blood lust. I just prayed that he would be alright, that I would find him again and strip away the darkness that filled him.

When I arrived at my home, I carefully climbed up the side of my house and entered through the window. A small smile pinched the corners of my mouth as I saw Jasper seated on my bed, my soft toy cradled in his arms as he read from one of the many books I had. His eyes melted with relief and love at the sight of me. Carefully, he placed my book and soft toy down so he could help me through the window – his touch so gentle and careful.

We then packed some of my things quietly in a small pastel pink bag decorated with lace flowers. We made sure to keep silent as we went, yet the looks between us were filled with so much love and promise that as we moved around the room…we found excuses to touch one another. Whether that was a simple finger against finger graze or a gentle caress against the other's body. The longing we suddenly had for each other was overwhelming, as if all this secrecy and events that had happened tonight and over the past few weeks and months had led to this unspoken desire for one another that was soon about to overspill.

I managed to talk to Bella before I left. I woke her gently with a kiss before I explained everything to her, and Bells…being the shining star she was understood. And so, despite the consequences that I would most likely face with Charlie when I returned, despite the complicated chaos that my life had become forever ensnared in…Jasper and I laced our fingers together and departed into the night... with nature's symphonies propelling us forward into that pink mist of blissful solace.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Hello my lovelies! Well that was the last part of Chapter 15! I hope ya'll enjoyed it and goodness...that chapter was so emotionally draining to write! The next chapter will be posted on Friday and it's the chapter I have been most wanting to write for long! I think it'll be the longest chapter too as I'll keep that one all together! But please let me know what you thought of this chapter! I love you all so much and I truly hope with all my heart that you are all alright. But please know, that no matter what comes your way...you are not alone in this world!**

 **NEXT CHAPTER REQUESTS:** **Hi! So the next chapter will be all about Jasper and Willa over the three days so if ya'll have any requests of moments you'd like to see them have then let know!**

 **~May we wish on the stars for a brighter tomorrow, dream for a world where peace dominates and live our lives with hearts of compassion, generosity and love ~**

* * *

 **~ Review Responses ~**

 **Littlecosma001: Eeee hon! You're review literally made me cry and my heart flutter and swell and oh goodness! I don't know how to ever thank you! I am sending you the biggest hug in the whole world! I feel so incredibly blessed to have you as a reader...and for you to think that of my writing, it doesn't feel real. I sometimes get so worried that the story is boring or people aren't interested because it's taking it's time but reading what you read...you're so incredibly sweet. That's so beautiful that you think that of Willa, and I'm sure if she was real then she would absolutely love you! Oh bless, do you truly mean that? That you'd reread this? I don't know what to say...ah I'm crying again! I've always been told I feel tings too deeply and goodness...I've always dreamed of making people happy and giving them something that they can love and cherish. So to know that you'd reread this, it makes me so happy! Hehe that's adorable! I hope you get some sleep though although I can completely relate! Yea...he has his reasons for not looking at Willa but yea...she and I are also rather miffed at that. Oh Willa does! The bear was racing towards Fitz because it sensed a threat! I really hoped you liked how I wrote the scene in this chapter! I was so nervous to post it but I hope it's alright! It was so emotional to write but I truly pray that it is oki! Also, for the next chapter...it will be all about the three days that Jasper and Willa spend together! So if you have any requests for moments you want to see with them together or anything for that special chapter then let me know! It's going to be a rather long one so don't hold back on the suggestions! Carlilse doesn't know anything about Willa's mama...just her papa but as to whether her dad is alive or not...that remains a secret! Yay! I'm so happy that you love the relationship blossoming between Carlilse and Willa! It is one of my favorites to write about! Hehe don't worry...the wolves will come back to play a big part of the plot for the Twilight book! I truly hoped you liked this chapter and I can't wait to see what you think of it! Much Love, Lisette!**

 **SmallLittleCagedBird: Thank you so much for your review! I'm so happy you loved that chapter and I truly hope you liked this one too! I'm so sorry for the late updates in the past! The next chapter will be up on Friday and it'll be a long one too! I'm so sorry about the bears...they can be rather scary no? The next chapter will be all about Jasper and Willa and the three days that they'll spend together! So if you have any requests for moments between the two of them then let me know! Much Love, Lisette**

 **BelguimBear: Oh my goodness hon! You're so adorably sweet! I'm sending you the biggest hair hug! Ah it makes me so happy that you think so! The next chapter will be all about Jasper and Willa though so I hope thats oki! If you have any requests of moments you'd like to see between the two of them then let me know! I can't wait to see what you think of this chapter! Much Love, Lisette**


	19. Chapter 16

**Author's Note: Hello my lovelies! Thank you to all of you beautiful souls for reading, following, reviewing and favoriting this story! It truly means the world to me and so much more! This chapter was one of my favorites to write! So please sit back, maybe grab a hot chocolate and prepare yourself for some heart fuzzies!**

 **I can't wait to see what ya'll think! I spent so much time on this chapter so please review!**

 **I've also made a Pinterest Board for this story so please check that out and follow if you like! I've had to put some spaces in-between the w's and pinterest but or else if you type that link in it should take you to the board!**

 **w w w. pinterest .nz/LisetteSage/~-solaces-lullaby-~/**

 **~ It's oki if you are afraid to hope and dream and wish, because until you are ready...someone out there is looking after those things for you, protecting them until you find your courage to dream for a better tomorrow and live a life where hope and foolish wishes guide your footsteps ~**

As the morning light flittered through the thin and wispy curtains, the backs on my eyelids shone a soft pink. My fingers twitched against the warm sheets as those threads connecting me to a world of innocent dreams withered and frayed. Yet as my conscious woke, as those lingering fragments of my dreams teased me sweetly before leaving my imagination barren…I was not afraid to be awake. For as I lay here, with my eyes closed and a gentle smile blossoming across my lips, I knew I was safe.

His scent still lingered on the pillow my nose nuzzled against – cinnamon and parchment, fallen leaves and rain soaked grass…the memories of last night's departure seemed to blur together in this misty fog of warm firelight and comfort. I was not sure how long we had driven for, how long he had allowed me to snuggle against his side, my tiny hand nestled inside his, as we drove through the night as runaway lovers. I remember the soft rain decorating the skies and earth, remember our talks and whisperings through the night and the kisses he placed on my temple and hair.

The house that he had driven up to was one that was hidden and abandoned- something that looked as if it had leaked through the pages of a fairytale and grew on the soil of a reality that was not of its own. It was a large cottage, smothered in untamed vines which had snared fallen leaves and flowers to become a part of its enchanting exterior. The sky was still claimed by the moon and stars and darkness when we arrived, and the rain – that everlasting pitter-patter did not cease as my bare feet walked along the path of untouched earth. I swayed slightly as I walked, as that sleepiness that seemed to tease me in the car strengthen. I felt Jasper at my side, felt his hand rest on the small of my back as he came to stand in front of me. Our hair was now dripping as droplets scurried down our faces and in-between our clothes and skin. Our clothes slowly melted against our bodies as Jasper pressed a lingering kiss to my forehead. His lips were rough yet gentle, meaningful as if he did not want to pull away. Yet when his eyes met mine, when he recognized that hazy sleepiness within me – he scooped me up into his arms and cradled my fragile body against his. I snuggled against him as he took me inside, my face nuzzling against his chest as I breathed in his scent. His white top clung to his skin, became translucent as the water spread across the fabric and glued it to his skin. I could see the scars covering his chest, see those moon-shaped bites as they grazed my cheek through the fabric and nipped at my heart.

He walked up a set of stars, holding me gently as we entered a bedroom with wide windows and a balcony. I shivered slightly against him, at the coolness of his body and the frost of the nighttime air. My eyes flicked up to his and his eyebrows knitted together with tender concern. I scrunched my eyelids closed before fluttering my eyes open at him, trying to give them strength to remain awake as he held me in his arms. Yet I was struggling in my attempt to remain tethered to the world of the awake and energized.

With a soft smile, he carefully placed me on the bed, pulling back the covers so my body could wriggle underneath them before he tucked me up in bed – the soft duvet and blankets brushing my lips and nostrils as I snuggled against them. He sat down on the bed beside me, the mattress sinking at his weight. He bent down, placing a gentle kiss against my forehead.

"Tell me a story?" I whispered softly, my words muffled against the warm duvet. He smiled down at me, shifting his body so although he was sitting, he was leaning over me slightly – his body leaning against his hand that was placed on the other side of me.

"Once Upon a Time," He began gently, but before I could hear the rest of the story…my eyes had misted over and I fell sweetly and softly into melodic sunshine dreams…

As allowed my eyes to flutter open, I turned onto my back – my hair fanning around me like lost waves in a silent river. The bed was large, made for two people as I stretched out and sighed as my muscles expanded and reawakened. The air was cool as it caressed my exposed skin, as my cheeks blushed a rosy pink at the nipping chill. Craning my neck towards the balcony, my lips parted in sweet observation as I saw Jasper standing there…his back to me as he looked out over the forest as if he were its maker. He had his hands knotted together behind him, his shirt removed as his hair swayed gently in the breeze. He appeared to stiff, so powerful that no creature, mortal or immortal, could challenge him.

I slowly sat up in the bed, clicking my neck to the right and then left before placing my legs over the edge of the bed – my feet not yet touching the plush carpet. Misting my eyelids over, I cracked my toes – allowing that small movement to spark some energetic wave through them, as if to say 'wake up my lovelies, it's time to walk and discover.' With my eyes now open once more, I noticed the sun bleeding into the sky – casting this majestic glow of orange, red, yellow and purple over and through the forest. This new light caressed both the skies and Jasper's frame as he watched it – unmoving and silent as if he wished to become a part of that melting color.

I nimbly got out of bed and tiptoed towards him, trying to hush any sound I could make as I was afraid to startle him. I was still dressed in the clothes I had changed into yesterday before we departed - a long-sleeve cream dress with a peter-pan collar. My fingers grazed the delicate fabric of the curtain, pulling it away gently as I passed under the threshold and stood behind him. His body was so mighty as it cast a shadow over mine, so strong as his muscles rippled underneath his skin and scars painted him whole. Gently, I wrapped my arms around his torso, resting my cheek against his back as I felt him sigh softly as take my hands in his.

"Thank you." I whispered softly.

Jasper turned around then, looking down at me with deep and delicate eyes as he caressed my cheek. "For what?" He asked softly, his hair swaying over his eyes as the breeze ran a gentle hand through it.

"For everything." He smiled softly, titling his head down to brush his lips against mine in the gentlest of manners. He was so cautious, so hesitant as if he was afraid the slightest touch of him against me could break me. I went up on my tiptoes, deepening the kiss before he pulled away and nuzzled his nose against mine. "How long have you been standing here?" I pondered aloud – walking towards the wooden railing and pressing my chest against it. I looked back at him, peeping through my tangled hair as he observed me with loving eyes.

"Since you fell asleep." He responded, approaching the railing so he stood next to me – his arm brushing against mine as we looked out over the waking forest.

"I never got to hear your story." I told him, watching as his lips pinched upwards in a crooked smile. He angled his body towards me, brushing the back of his bent finger up and down my hand.

"Would you like me to tell it to you now darlin'?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

I inclined my head. "I would like that." I told him softly. "After all, since you're such an avid reader it'll give me an opportunity to see how good your storytelling skills are." A hint of mischief twinkled in my eyes as I bit my lip from smiling.

"Well…given that you fell asleep before the story even began, I'm not sure I have too much faith in my ability to entertain through storytelling." His voice was tight as he mimicked a tone of sadness and regret.

"Well now is your chance for a redo! My ears are all ears and they are listening to you!" I pinched both of my earlobes and wiggled them about. He released a small puff of laughter.

"Is that so?" He questioned, his Texan accent strong as he smiled lovingly down at me.

"You bet ya! Although hang on a minute, let me just grab my notebook and pen so I can make notes on your presentation, plot, characters and –" I made a gesture to go back into the bedroom to retrieve those things. Jasper rolled his eyes, his lips pinching upwards as he shook his head.

"Storytelling waits for no-one so you may miss some of my story whilst your fetching those things my darlin." He remarked, parting his lips once more to begin the story. I laughed sweetly at his lightness for it was such a rare thing for me to see. I quickly went up on my tiptoes and placed my hand against his parted lips to hush him.

"No, no!" I quickly said, "I'll…I'll just keep those notes stored up inside my head." I fell back on the balls of my feet, removing my hand before entwining it with my other in front of me. I then swayed from side to side, my hair falling over my shoulders. "Oki!" I chirped, before with one smooth movement, I pressed my back against the railing and pulled myself up so I now sat on top of it – my hands nestled in my lap as my ankles folded against one another and swung gently.

I noticed his concern as his eyebrows furrowed together and his smile faded. Jasper's body stiffened, and his eyes hardened slightly with cemented worry at the position I had just placed myself in. "Please don't look at me like that." I told him softly, trying to ease him with a gentle smile of understanding but also a need for him to understand me in return.

"Like what?" He asked, not a single muscle twitching within him.

I sighed gently. "Like I'm some glass doll wh is s one motion away from shattering." I told him, watching him softly as he walked in front of me, his hands now placed on either side of me on the railing.

"Aren't you though?" He asked, his voice so soft and low as his eyes gazed into mine.

"What do you mean-" Jasper suddenly placed his hands on my waist and pushed me backwards. A small squeal escaped my lips as my heart leapt within me and he caught me just before I was about to fall backwards. His hands bunched in the fabric of my dress – a sweet smile of mischief tickling his lips as I tried to steady my breath – my fingers shaking as they rested on his shoulder. He laughed gently as his eyes crinkled with amusement and I let out a light breath of surprised air.

"Jasper!" I exclaimed, lightly hitting his chest as I smiled into his eyes. I hadn't seen this side of him before…I had captured glimpses, but after everything…to see him like this. It made my heart glow with an unfamiliar warmth and giddiness. "You slay me!" I laughed, placing a hand against my heart as I tried to steady my racing heartbeat. "Although," I began, biting my lip as I straightened up so I was no longer leaning back. "I'm not afraid of you or of falling."

"And why is that darlin?" He asked as I tried to repress my smile and look serious and tough.

"Because of this." And before he could part his lips to speak, I removed his hands from my waist and fell backwards with a cheeky smile of mischief, love and a challenge. I gasped at the rush of air, of my heart slipping from its place in my chest and nestling in my throat as I fell and tumbled in this freeing and exhilarating way.

It was not long before I suddenly felt a strong set of arms wrap around my body and pull me close to their chest. We then hit the ground, Jasper's back colliding against the grass before we rolled down a steep hill, smiling and giggling before I managed to pin him down as I sat on his chest and held both of his wrists against the grass. I knew he had let me win, but I did not care. His eyes were wild with amusement, exhilaration, love and completely bewildering awe and love. I panted breathlessly, leaning over him so my long hair framed his face and teased the grass and dirt.

"You crazy little fool." He sighed, shaking his head as he smiled up at me.

"You may be a vampire, a warrior and an immortal prince but when you're with me…" I tightened my grip on his wrists. I knew I could never hurt him, knew how fragile I was compared to him but… "when you're with me, you are my equal, just as I am yours." My voice became soft and feathery as I spoke those last words. "Now, tell me my story!"

"Equals darlin?" He raised an eyebrow in amusement at my demand.

"Oh, shush your mouth!" I said lightly, removing my hands from his wrists so our fingers could lace together as one. My voice became softer, more meaningful as our eyes embraced and kissed each other's hearts and minds. "Tell me my story my darling enigma, and I promise I will tell you one in return."

* * *

The rest of the day seemed to pass by in this dream-like state of pure bliss and solace. Yet each moment we spent together…each feeling that swam inside me and glowed this rare bright light, it seemed so slippery, so fragile as if the slightest exposure to an outside source that wasn't Jasper and I…could snuff it out. After we shared our stories to one another, stories of our past – of his past before he became immortal, we showed me around this house that was a secret kept only within his heart and now mine.

"I built it as a place where I could go to be alone, to confine myself and be isolated from constantly feeling everyone's emotions." He told me as we walked through each and every room – stopping eventually in a small library. The walls and floors were covered in books, stacked in messy piles or crammed in along the many bookshelves that were pressed against every inch of every wall within the room. There was one chair – a comfy brown one that was positioned opposite and old fire place. I suddenly felt my heart wither, felt this overwhelming sadness nip at my heart as I looked up at Jasper and saw his years upon years of loneliness and suffering. I wrapped my arms around me, gazing over my shoulder at Jasper who now sat on the ground – his knees casually up as he rested his arm against it in a relaxed gesture.

"I…I don't even know where to start." I said softy, swallowing that pain and further awareness of what his past was like. My eyes wandered around the room, at the plethora of books and how old they looked – how read and loved and historic they were. My bookworm's pulse thumped with pink electrical sparks as completely wonderment and awe fizzed within me. I had never seen a collection like this before and I…I softly walked towards a pile of books, kneeling down carefully next to them as my fingers brushed the spines. I gasped lightly at the titles, at seeing how they were first editions.

"Pick anyone you like." Jasper's voice made my eyes flick to his and my cheeks blush a light pink in embarrassment at how consumed with these novels I had become. I shyly brushed my hair behind my ears, yet his gaze did not flicker. He stared at me so intently in this moment, so deeply that I couldn't help but wonder if this was the first time someone had ever been in this room with him before. "I'll read it to you."

"Oh?" I asked lightly, trying to ease the thickness in the air…that thickness that was not only deep and precious, but unspoken with some strange sense of longing and desire. I spoke shyly, "with the accents too?"

He smiled, breaking that frame o an immortal warrior. "If that is what you so desire." He replied, his worlds laced with a strong Russian accent that was so accurate I couldn't help but look away and smile timidly.

"That is what I wish." I replied softly, flicking my gaze back to the stack of books and their withering spines. I allowed my fingers to brush them once more and I was surprised by the lack of dust that coated them. "My mama used to read to me," I told him distantly, smiling as memories caressed my mind and brushed my heart. "She would hold me in her arms, this little silly girl who had worn herself out with too much adventure, and read to me until I fell asleep." I looked towards him, nostalgia glimmering in my eyes as his facial features became stern and concentrated. "She would do all the voices, even sing and sometimes act out the motions of the story. I became so dependent on her reading to me to go to sleep that when she stopped…I would creep out of bed, retrieve a book and read until I fell asleep with the book still in my hands."

"And now?" He asked gently, "how do you sleep?"

I sucked in my lower lip, nibbling at it as I placed my hands neatly in my lap. "I do the same thing…read until the worlds take as it's prisoner into that world of dreams and nightmares and memories that are not mine. I love to sleep, adore losing myself in those dreams but…it's the waking up that frightens me." His gaze softened, yet before he could ask me why, I quickly continued on. "Do you miss it?" I asked gently. "Sleeping?"

He gave me a sad smile, his knuckles clicking just once as he adverted his gaze to where his hand rested. "All the time." I felt my heart become heavy, felt my healers blood become thick with need and – "But I keep myself entertained." A small puff of laughter escaped his lips as his eyes gestured around the room. "But yes, I miss it." My fingers went to a strand of long hair as I began to fiddle with it nervously, in sympathy. "I used to have such wild dreams…but the more I try and remember them, the more I forget them. Being awake all the time…it's exhausted. Because my fears, my memories and thoughts – they are never quiet." His voice faded out as he spoke those last words, as he looked away to the right of the room as he tried to hide his vulnerability.

Carefully, I stood up and made my way across the room towards him. Crouching down in front of him, I outstretched my arm to place my hand on his cheek. His eyes glided back to mine, my fingers lightly caressing his cheek and playing with his curls that fell over his ear. "I would love for you to read to me tonight." I told him, "as long as you hold me in your arms, knowing that you are not alone…never again." I sat down on my knees, leaning forward towards his softening features as his eyes drifted down to my approaching lips. "And I…I can help those thoughts become quiet." My voice was but a mere sweet whisper as my lips brushed his and placed a dainty kiss upon them. "Help you heart," I kissed him once more, "your mind," my lips pecked his nose, "and soul," I brushed my lips against the corner of his mouth, "become silent and lost in that dreamlike tranquility and bliss." I swallowed shyly, allowing my hair to fall over my eyes as I became timid and my body, leaning towards his – began to tremble gently. I had never been so forward, never given into my heart so easily and openly before.

Yet in those moments of silence, as I adverted my eyes and felt Jasper's gaze heavily on me…I did not regret it. So, when I met his eyes once more, when I saw that all-consuming love shine in his eyes, I leaned forward and kissed him deeply and tenderly. His lips were soft against mine, timid as I gently licked his lower lip and pulled back to nuzzle my nose against his. He then pressed his lips against mine, holding the back of my head as he deepened the kiss. I could feel my heart stutter, feel my skin blush as he rested his other hand on my waist and pulled me towards him. Each touch of my body against his was electrifying in this sweet teasing way…he was so gentle, so loving as he sat cross-legged with me on top of him – my knees pressing against his sides as his hands dared to grasp my lower back. I could feel his fingers bunch in the fabric, feel them then separate as if desperate to feel more of me against him. Our lips moved sweetly against one another, tenderly and slowly as his lips parted and my warm breath spilled down his throat.

My lips were so soft and young and full against his, so innocent as they moved against his rough, historic and experienced ones. My whole body began to tremble as I kissed him deeply with this mixture of tenderness and need that I had never felt before. I started to feel things that I had never felt before, started to suddenly become afraid of myself as I wanted more of him, as I needed to feel every inch of him against me.

I pressed my chest against his, my tiny hands quivering as they grazed his shoulders and then cupped his face. Jasper released a small groan, this low rumble in his throat that entered me like rolling thunder. I felt it pulse within me, felt it pull me closer towards him as our kiss turned into this delicate passion. We kissed as if in fever, as if we were the only creatures tethering us to this world.

"Jasper," I whispered against his lips, feeling an aching pull in my lower body that I had never felt before. My body shivered lightly, my hands trembling in his hair as my heart hiccupped and my eyes became timid and fearful. What was happening to me…what was…his lips melted against mine – a tiny gasp escaping my throat as my trembling form collapsed into his.

Jasper pulled back, taking my face into his hands as he searched my eyes and teased the tip of my nose with his. "You sweet angel," he murmured, "what are you doing to me?" He then kissed my lips, licked them lightly with his tongue before kissing my eyes, my cheeks, and my neck. I moaned softly, tilting my head back as his lips kissed a small trail of loving pecks down my neck and along my jaw. I could feel myself incinerating from within, feel my heart quiver and expand. His lips were so insistent, so hungry that I was suddenly unable to breathe or hold myself up. Jasper's hands tightened around me, his fingers knotting in my long hair as they gently moved up to where the zip of my dress lay against my back. Slowly, his fingers pinched the zip and pulled it down my spine until the base of my back. His lips returned to mine, capturing my sweet gasp of breath as I felt his fingers gently caress the exposed skin of my back. I shuddered at his touch, at how soft his fingertips were, how loving and teasing they were as they moved up and down my skin. My breath suddenly hitched in my throat as his hands pressed against my back, pulling me into him as his thumb caressed the small bumps of my spine.

He pulled back once more, an aching sort of desperation and hunger and love in his eyes…a blazing passion. "Willa," he whispered, "you are too much for me…too soft and fragile and beautiful. What's happening to me?" He pressed his lips against mine again, his hands flattening against my back, tracing my spine, feeling my sides, the underwire of my bra…feeling very shy, yet overwhelmed by my emotion – I shrugged my dress off my shoulders, allowing the delicate fabric to fall down my skin and bunch up around my waist. My heart was throbbing with this timid desire as Jasper's lips left my own and traveled down my jaw, my neck and shoulder blade. His lips were so feverish against my flushing skin, so teasing as I bit my lip and my hands quivered against his shoulders. He titled me back slowly, pulling away so he could look at my newly exposed skin.

"How can you be real?" He whispered, his eyes flicking up to mine with wonder and lust. "You are too much for me, too much," he said softly, kissing that spot in-between my breasts as his thumbs gently caressed the skin below them. I moaned softly, arching my back shyly as his lips moved to kiss the exposed skin of my breasts. His tongue traced the lace of my bra, a sudden shudder rushing through me as one of his hands moved to cup the fullness of my soft flesh. He groaned softly, his hand gently fondling it as his lips kissed the other over the thin fabric. I felt his nose suddenly brush my nipple, and I moaned with such abandon and surprise that Jasper moved away…He straightened me up against him so his eyes could look into mine. I hadn't realised I had been panting, that a thin sheen of sweat shimmered against my back as one of his arms wrapped around my waist and the other continued to caress the exposed skin of my breast. "How can you be so innocent in this day and age?" He asked he softly, "how can you been so angelic, so pure that your skin burns my own as if to say you are too good for me to touch?"

"I'm sorry," I whispered, not knowing what else to say as my hands moved to rest against his solid chest. I could feel his muscles underneath his shirt, feel their outline and the scars that decorated him. I had never been in a situation like this before, never been so intimate, never dreamed nor read about that as I sat now in his arms…I couldn't help but shiver with a mixture of fear and desire, with a shyness that smothered me whole. "I…I wish I knew more." I whispered, suddenly feeling embarrassed that whilst he had been kissing me, loving me and smothering me with his kisses and touches…I had been a mere limp doll in his arms who was delirious with a lust that I was too shy to voice or express.

"Knew more?" He asked softly, shifting his hand from my breast so it caressed my cheek.

I looked away with embarrassment, my cheeks flushing a soft pink as I nibbled at my lower lip. "Had more experience, more knowledge of how to…I just," His thumb grazed over my lips as that one movement hushed me. He kissed the skin next to my nose before shaking his head with absolute bewilderment.

"Willa," He breathed out, completely lost in his confusion as he searched my eyes and held my face in his hands. "It is your innocent that drives me crazy." His hands caressed my cheeks. "I have spent years in a world where I knew nothing but violence and hatred, suffering and blood-lust…and then there is you…. this perfect embodiment of everything that is the complete opposite of that." He shook his head, his eyes glazing over with heartache, amazement and desire. "You have such a young and pure heart…a soul of the purest and most innocent light and it makes me crazy. I don't know what to do with you, what am I going to do with you Willa? You make me feel so shy and unexperienced, so completely clumsy and drunk on lust and desire." He brought his face to mine, kissing my lips with feverish passion before pulling away once more. "You are so oblivious to yourself…the effect that you have on me…it is one of your most endearing and most infuriating qualities."

I didn't know how to answer him, but I didn't have to...not as he brought his lips down upon mine and pressed my body against his once more. My knees, on either side of him, pressed against his sides, squeezed his waist as his fingertips danced across my bareback and –

"What about you?" I murmured against his lips, pulling away slightly to look him in the eyes. "How do I…how do I please you, how do I…" I was so shy, for all I wanted in that moment was to remove his shirt and kiss every inch of him, yet I was afraid. Afraid if he would feel shame from his scars or if I did something wrong. "What can I do?" I nibbled my lower lip.

He smiled lightly, "what would you like to do?" He asked softly.

I shook my head, smiling softly. "I have no idea," I timidly ran my hands down his chest, sighing silently at the way he felt underneath my fingertips, at how I wanted to remove this layer of clothing and explore what made him the warrior, reader, musician and immortal prince that he truly was. "I'm afraid I'll do something wrong." I whispered.

He shook his head, "Willa," he spoke my name such exquisite tenderness. "You could never do anything wrong." I swallowed deeply, smiling at him as he moved his hands back down to my waist and applied the lightest of pressure as he stood with me in his arms – my legs wrapped around his torso. He then walked towards a bookshelf, settling me on one of the shelves so my back was pressed against rows and rows of books. I trailed my hands down his shirt and gently clasped the edge of the material to pull it over his head. Yet just when I was about to, the soft sound of gentle horse neighs made me stop.

"Was, is that what I think it is?" I asked him, my hands falling to my sides as a new excitement and wonderment glimmered in my eyes.

Jasper took a step back, helping me down from the bookshelf before straightening his back and standing in front of me like a solider.

"Miss Willa Fawn, would you do me the honor in accompanying me on a stroll through the forest on horseback?" His Texan accent was stronger than I had ever heard it before. He stretched his hand out like a gentleman and I couldn't resist blushing.

"Why, with a commander so handsome and chivalrous…how could I refuse." My eyes twinkled with mischief as I made my voice go all posh and ladylike. I then took his arm and tried to keep my excitement contained within me…yet as we walked outside, I could not prevent spontaneous squeals slip from my lips and skips bounce in my stride.

* * *

With the sun slowly setting in the ever-darkening skies, I hummed a sweet song as I searched the fridge for something to eat. My nails gently tapped against the fridge's door as I leaned in to retrieve the ingredients I needed to make ratatouille. The rest of the day had past like a dream dancing to music. Jasper had a single horse that he kept here, a horse that had become his constant companion during his time here. When he was away, he had one other human, a neighbor come and look after it. And so we rode through the forest, me in the front and Jasper behind me as he held me tightly against him. I loved riding with him, loved leaning back against his chest as he told me of his childhood and love for horse-riding. We eventually arrived at a lake, a sweet lost treasure which swam in until I became too tired to even walk. Jasper carried me back to the horse, and as we rode back – I sang to him.

When we arrived back from our forest adventure, Jasper and I played music together, danced read in the warmth of his personal library. With my stomach seeking the comfort of food, I had left him in his chair, lost in the book he read as his curls became lazy and hug over his eyes. I knew Jasper didn't eat, but this nurturing part of me wanted to make him something to eat, just so we could have dinner together. My whole life I had grown up with this image of what I wanted my future to be. Of having a husband and children, all gathered around the table as we ate together. I knew it would be possible for Jasper and I to have children, yet I didn't know if he did, and if he did have children…how that would affect our lives.

So, as I made my dinner, I set the table for two – placing a vase of flowers in the middle between the two bowls. With my ratatouille finished, I heated up Jasper's blood, mixing in some spices that I found in pantry and crumbled up some chips into it for texture. Taking in a nervous breath, I placed both mine and Jasper's bowls on the table before making my way to his library.

Opening the door carefully, my eyes softened at the sight of him reading. From this imagine, a stranger would never have known the violence that he had experienced, that wicked darkness that I knew still lingered in him. I leaned against the door frame, resting my cheek against the warm wood as I gazed at him. He was so lost in his novel, so oblivious to the world around him and suddenly I knew how rare this must be for him. To be at peace, for everything to be quiet and calm and safe. I smiled softly at how he rested his cheek on his palm, at how his legs were positioned so casually and boyish…at how his hair feel into his eyes and he had to keep swiping it away whilst balancing the book on the armrest. I felt my heart hiccup within me, felt myself become shy as if I was an intruder. Yet before I could creep away and place his blood meal in the fridge, he looked up.

"Hey darlin," a crooked smile tugged his lips up to the side.

"Hello my lovely," I replied softly, watching as he titled his head to the side and closed his book. He looked so at ease, just like a normal boy…" I have a surprise for you."

"A surprise?" He asked, raising an eyebrow as he tried to bite his smile from growing too wide.

I nodded shyly, feeling nervous for his reaction. Yet I pushed it aside, and walked towards him – my steps small and dainty. Crouching down in front of him, I picked his large hand up in mine from where it lay on the arm rest. "You have the most beautiful hands, Jasper." I whispered, my eyes lost in how his fingers bent, at each scar and wrinkle where his knuckles rested.

"They are capable of a lot of things Willa, they are the furthest thing from beautiful…they are violent and wicked, bringers of pain and death." I didn't flick my gaze up to his to read his expression, yet I could hear the tightness in his voice. I felt him pull his hand away as if he were embarrassed, no – ashamed. Yet before he could, I grasped it tighter, and brought it up to my lips.

"That may be, but they are also soft, and gentle, and loving." I told him slowly, kissing each of his finger-tips. "They are tender and delicate, and perfect." I placed a final kiss on his pinky finger, finally flicking my gaze up to his. His eyes were hard, lost in some faraway place that he found in my eyes.

"You sweet darlin," he finally whispered, his gaze still so deep and hard. "Sweet and foolish girl."

"Well," I swallowed timidly, sparking up my courage as I stood up before him and laced our fingers in the hand I held. "This sweet and foolish girl has made us dinner."

He looked at me bewildered. "Dinner?" He asked, following me as I pulled at his hand. "That's a beautiful gesture Willa, but I don't exactly eat human food."

I stopped just outside the kitchen and dining room where the food waited, pressing out joint hands to my lips as I hide my nervous smile. "I know, that's why you're not going to eat human food. You're going to have what makes you stronger and healthier and alive." And before he could part his lips and ask, I pulled him into the kitchen and walked towards the table where he could see what I had prepared. I leaned against his side as he stood before the table, taking in what I had made for him and how I had set the setting. For whilst he was reading, I threaded fairy lights above the windows and placed a few candles around the room.

"I…I wasn't sure how you liked your blood so I added in some spices and chips for texture!" I said quickly, "Shall we sit, let's sit," I let go of his hand and began fidgeting with the hem of dress as I sat down on my chair. I was becoming more and more nervous the longer he remained silent. "The foods getting cold, we should eat, shouldn't we? Or I should, and you could go back and read if you don't want to eat? Or I could fish out the broken chips from it? Goodness how silly of me to start and mess things –"

"Willa," His voice was loud and commanding. I was instantly quiet, my eyes wide and innocent and nervous as I looked up at him. He angled his body towards mine, resting a hand on my cheek as I looked up at him.

"You beautiful little thing." He exhaled, dropping to his knees and taking my face in his hands. Kissing me passionately and feverishly he then pulled away. "You dazzle me darlin." He told me with a smile, and I couldn't help but blush and feel my body deflate in relief.

"Would you, would you like to try it?" I asked him, my fingers still fidgeting with the hem of my dress. I watched him silently as he took a big spoonful and swallowed it. His eyes misted over at its taste, and when they opened…I saw this happiness within me that I had not seen before, as if he knew then that everything would work out.

"It's delicious." He said sweetly.

"I…I just thought that maybe it would be nice for us to have our meals together and…and when we have children, if you wanted to have children then we could eat around the table as a family. Do you…do you want children?" I asked him nervously, knowing that he had not talked about that topic.

He placed his bowl town, taking my hands in his as his thumbs caressed the backs of my hands. "Misha, Silka, Alexei and Aurelia." He listed of. "Those are some of the names I used to think of if I had children of my own to name." He confessed with a genuine glow. "I've always wanted to be a father."

Glee tickled my lips as I blushed with joy and squeezed his hands. "And you will be. I promise you."

He leaned towards my beaming face, placing a delicate kiss on my nose. "You unravel me Willa." He whispered, whispered before kissing me slowly and taking his place opposite me. With childlike glee, we clinked our bowls, smiling at one another deeply before we sat down at the table and ate and talked and laughed into the depths of the night turned into the early hours of the morning.

* * *

Moonlight spilled across the room as Jasper and I lay on our bed – all the windows, curtains and doors open as the night tumbled into the bedroom and a chorus of birds and insects broke the silence. My head was resting against his chest, his arm wrapped around me as he kissed my hair and read to me from the book he held. I had never experienced such a perfect day…such a day filled with unchallenged bliss and tranquility. Seeing my eyes mist over as sleepiness tickled me, he placed the book down and shifted so we could look into each other's eyes. Licking my lower lip, I put my palm out to him. He put his against mine.

"Look," I said softly. "My fingers barely come up to your second knuckle." My words but a mere whisper as he bent his fingers over mine.

"I'm looking." He whispered, then threading his fingers through mine and squeezing my hand. "Go to sleep, Willa." He brought out joint hands to rest of his chest.

I shook my head. "But then you'll be all alone."

A soft smile tugged at his lips and he shook his head with endearing amusement. "Not when you are in my arms, Willa…never."

I snuggled against him, trying to fight against the dreams that pulled me under. "One day you'll have those dreams again, that sweet sleep…I promise." And before he could respond, I felt myself fall, tumble and weave into this black abyss that then ignited into a world of impossible possibilities and memories that were not my own.

* * *

The sun dripped innocently into the lake, spilling its orange and yellow hues into it as the moon slowly blossomed in the sky. With my bare feet visible underneath, the shallow water, I wriggled my toes in the sand and peeped over my shoulder – my hair tumbling over my shoulder in ocean-live waves at the movement. I smiled softly at the sight of him, of how his muscles moved underneath the thin material of his shirt as he drove a tent stake into the ground. I couldn't resist placing a hand on my heart, silently hushing myself to calm down…for some unknown reason, I felt myself become paralyzed by fear and love. I shivered gently in my pastel yellow dress, the fabric humming against my skin as the breeze ruffled the material. The day we had spent together had been one that did not feel real. From the moment I woke up, before my eyes opened to that flooding sunrise…I felt him against me. His fingers were running through my hair idly as my head rested against his chest and my fingers twiddled the material of his top. Jasper's smell had been overwhelming.

Opening my eyes, I titled my head up to look at him. Before I could mutter a single word, he placed his book down and placed a delicate kiss against my lips which lingered for far too long. Our love for one another had been so innocent until yesterday, so lost in that soft, delicate pink mist that now…with this closeness and privacy, I felt myself longing for more…yet also being afraid of it. For when I kissed him, when I touched him…I was beginning to feel things in my body that I had never experienced before.

For the whole day, we spent not a moment apart. We went for walks in the forest, danced together, read together…it was as if we were afraid to be apart. Yet now that I was in the forest with him, camping by the lake as two lost lovers…I suddenly felt this overwhelming fear and shyness creep over me. I wasn't sure if it was the coming darkness or new environment, but something had suddenly changed since today's fun and games…something became more serious, more tender as if there was an unspoken promise that the moon had for us. Shaking my head at my silliness, I came out of the water and crouched down beside a bush to pick some berries.

"Willa," Jasper called quietly from behind me. I swivelled in my crouching position, smiling tenderly up at him as he approached me with long strides. There was new softness to his eyes, one that mimicked his eyes in the library the day before. Not thinking, I handed him some blueberries, my arm stretching up from where I sat. He shook his head with light amusement, yet his eyes narrowed as if he could sense something was wrong. He reached out to take the berries from my hand, his fingers curling against my palm as he rolled them up my hand, fingers, fingertips until they fell to the ground. Yet his fingertips still remained against mine. He then took my hand in his, pulling it gently as if in silent command for me to stand.

I got to my feet carefully, my hand and eyes not leaving his. Leaning down, he very softly kissed my lips. I felt my heart hiccup, felt myself fall towards him but he pulled away. Raising my hand to his lips, he kissed it, kissed my fingertips, my wrists, and the insides of my forearms. I could barely breathe. I had never allowed myself to become so close to someone before, so completely in love that my shyness suddenly crippled me and my heart ached in ways it had never done before. His lips traveled up and down the insides of my forearms before stopping at my wrist…at that area where my pulse thumped softly. "Willa," he whispered huskily, his voice barely a whisper as his eyes misted over and he pressed his nose against my pulse. "I can hear every one of your heartbeats." He said intensely. "Hear your healers blood, rushing through your veins and rising to the surface when you blush so sweetly and innocently." He opened his eyes, and I could barely take all of that emotion swimming inside them. I lowered my gaze, trying to steady my heartbeat…trying to calm myself. "Look at me, Willa. You need never hide from me." He whispered, releasing my wrist to cup my small face in his massive hands. "How are you so beautiful darlin?" I bit my lip at his words, unable to handle this side of him…this intense loving side that had been repressed and hidden for so long that now, when it spilled out of him, when it was just him and I…neither one of us knew how to control it. "Willa, you are my miracle. You're the one that that I think God scent to me…to give me hope, to redeem me, to comfort me, to love me, and to heal me – and that's just so far." He smiled and I couldn't help but release a small puff of laugher at his words. His hands fell to his sides, yet I did not allow our contact to break for long.

With shaky fingers, I reached out towards him, taking his hands in mine as our fingers laced together. "Jasper," I whispered his name, so softly and weakly. I swallowed a shaky breath. "I... despite how I seem, despite…wanting to heal others, there's one thing I've always been afraid of." I nibbled my lip, suddenly afraid as my heart leaked out of my now parted lips. "I always follow my heart, always listen to it but…I've always been so afraid of," I lowered my gaze, trying to find my strength as I felt like a small girl in that moment. My eyes flicked back to his. "I've always been afraid of love." Two pear-shaped tears welled in my eyes and dribbled down my cheeks. "When you move countries so much, when you're always having to say goodbye…the thing that I have never been more afraid of is being brave enough to love with my whole heart. When my mama died, when Fitz…when I left him…they were the two people in this whole world that I had given my heart to fully and completely. And when they went away, when they…when I…I love you Jasper. I know I have said it before but I…I truly, deeply and unconditionally love you. I don't care what you are, I don't care what you've done or that by loving you it means you can hurt me so much…. more than anyone in this whole world. Because when you look at me, when you touch me…it's like everything else falls away. Things like vampires, healers and other immortal creatures, memories, dreams, histories…you make it all go away." I felt his hands squeeze mine, felt a small sob escape me as the tip of my nose burned and I squeezed his hands back. "I was so scared of being in love with you…of what a healer and a vampire being in love means, of what love entails, of what…"

"Willa," his voice was so soft, so desperate and intense and fragile as millions of emotions swam into those honey eyes of his. "In all my years, no one has ever mattered…not like you have to me. In 100 plus years, I've only ever loved one person, and that's you. I love you Willa." He sighed against me, his hands trembling inside my own as if he was suddenly afraid too. "I love you Willa, so much and I've tried not to but I can't stop." He looked away, looked up to the stars. "You shouldn't love me, you should be with someone who has the same blood as you…who isn't…" He squeezed his eyes shut, his chest quivering as his face tensed in paid. "But selfishly, I…" He opened his eyes, looking back at me with such tender and soft, broken eyes. "When Edward told my family about you and I…I didn't know how to react. Keeping you a secret, it felt safe…like it wasn't real in some way because I knew it was wrong. And believe me Willa when I say I tried, I tried not to love you…but you…" He laughed, shaking his head before kissing me deeply on the lips, so deeply, so fully, so lovingly that I suddenly felt that aching put inside me open up and flare. "You had me from the moment we looked at each other and I…I don't care anymore. I don't care how hard this will be, I don't care about what may happen in the future because…you're too much for me to bare. I wished that I hated you, because then it would have been so much easier. Yet you…" He pressed his kips against mine, harder this time as he kissed my lips, my cheeks, my nose…" Yet you had to be this girl crafted from the dreams of my mortal self and the forbidden hopes of the monster I am."

"Jasper." I pressed my forehead against his. "You're not a monster, not to me…not to the stars above." I pulled away slightly. My eyes wide and my lips parted. "I'm afraid." I whispered to him, his hand resting on my jaw as this unspoken promise and need and wish shone in my wet eyes.

"Me too." He whispered softly, his hand trembling against my skin. I smiled softly at him, leaning forward as my heart became too much to bare.

"I love you Jasper Hale." I whispered against his lips.

"I love you Willa Fawn." And he captured my lips with his.

And he captured my lips with his. We kissed deeply, tenderly and in fever. I felt myself fall against him, felt my heart shatter my ribs and nestle inside him. We were both trembling, both shy as he slowly lay down on the grass with me on top of him. My legs, gentle cradling his waist tightened as my chest brushed his and my hands cupped his face. His hair felt so soft against my fingertips and his scent…it drowned me…he drowned me. His hands rested against my back, his palms flattening as he pressed me against him. I felt a low groan rubble through his throat and into mine. My lungs quivered, my heart, my blood…I couldn't get enough. I felt so weak against him, as if he had robbed me of all my strength as I melted against him utterly and completely. My body shuddered as I felt his fingers pinch the zip of my dress and tug it down. With the flaps loose, I gasped slightly as his fingertips brushed against my skin. The sensation was so surprising, so loving that I bit his lip gently before kissing it in case I hurt him. I pulled away slightly, my hair framing his face as it fell to the ground.

"Willa," He said my name softly. I leaned down to kiss him, pressing myself harder against him as his fingers scuttled and danced across my bare back. "Willa," he said again, yet his voice sounded different…harder, as if something had broken through this red mist that protected us.

I pulled back, my eyebrows furrowed in fear and confusion. "What's wrong?" I asked gently, but he quickly zipped up my dress and got to his feet. His face looked pained, his whole-body taunt and stiff as he ran his fingers through his hair and searched his surroundings. "What's happened?" I was instantly at his side, my hand pressing carefully against his arms in comfort.

"Someone," he shook his head, being to slowly walk towards the depths of the forest, sniff and close his eyes as if he was trying to find someone, locate them. "I can feel pain, fear…in multiple people, about ten. Ten humans and three vampires…" He looked down at me, his eyes pained.

"Then we have to do something." I told him, my voice strengthening as I turned on him to place my shoes on.

"Willa I..." I shook my head at him.

"No, Jasper…we have this opportunity to help these people. You sensed them and we can't go on ignoring them or pretending that you did not feel what they felt." I straightened up, rolling back my shoulders in an attempt to look tough as I challenged him. He stared at me, trying to weigh up all of his options before he spoke. He looked so mighty in that moment, all trace of vulnerability and softness gone as this warrior now filled and claimed his soul.

He inclined his head. "You're right. I'll go, wait for me at the house." He then strode past me, his shoulder brushing against mine as he started walking towards the source of what he felt.

"No." I shook my head, running up to him until I was firmly in front of him, my hand resting gently on his chest as I tried to reason with him. "Jasper we are a team." I told him softly. "You and I…healer and vampire, we both have these superpowers and so we'll do this together, as equals." I reached forward to take his hand I mine. "I respect you as a Vampire, so please respect me as a healer. We can…we can be like our own avenger team" I said lightly, trying to break this rock-hard shell that now ran over his features.

"What if something happens to you?" He asked, his voice factual. "Darlin." He then added on after a muted pause.

"Nothing will." I told him softly and honestly, squeezing his hand in mine.

"You don't know that."

"Yes I do." I said firmly.

"How?" He countered.

"Because you'll be there, and I know you'll never let anything happen to me." He adverted his gaze, taking in a deep breath to emphasize his internal struggle that he had within himself. I walked towards him, knowing I needed to break him out of this state. I wrapped my arms around him, my head gently resting against his chest as I caressed his back. "Remember when I said you never have to be alone again, I meant it. With my whole heart, through love, danger and all the above."

I felt his lips kiss my hair, felt his arms go around me for a brief hug. He pulled back. "What did I do to deserve you?" He said, shaking his head with awe and a light smile on his lips. I could see his pride glimmering in his eyes. "Alright, together." He held out his hand, his grip strong as it swallowed my hand. "Always."

"Always." I repeated, threading my fingers with his as together we walked towards those screams of pain and fear, to save the suffering…together as one.

Always and forever.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Hello my lovelies! Here is the next chapter! I truly hope you enjoyed it! There was a lot of fluffy moments I hope thats oki! I'm so sorry for the late update! Uni got so hectic as well as anxiety and all that ickiness! I hope you are all looking forward to the next chapter as although this chapter was all fluff...next chapter will be a lot darker, passionate and hunger driven...hehe cue Jasper's darker side! All my love, Lisette!**

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 **~ Review Responses ~**

 **Littlecosma001: N'aww lovely of course! You're making my heart flutter and smile so wide! I read this right before going into a lecture as I was smiling like a little fool! You're so so sweet! I don't know how I'll ever be able to thank you for all that you've said! Oh goodness it was no? I was crying when I wrote those scenes between Willa and Fitz! It just broke my heart apart but i'm looking forward to seeing their journey together progress! Hehe, I know exactly what you mean though! I wrote this random scene where Willa and Fitz end up together just for my own little fun! Maybe I'll post it at the end of a chapter as like a deleted scene kind of thing that would have happened in a different universe! I really hope you enjoyed this chapter! I know it was super fluffy but I hope that's oki! The next chapter will be a big contrast to this one! Oh no, it's not weird to ask that at all! And yes, they will be doing adult stuff...hehe especially in the next chapter! With the intimate stuff in this chapter I hope it was oki! I hope you're doing oki lovely and I'm sending you all my love! i can't wait to see what you think! Much Love, Lisette**

 **SmallLittleCagedBird: Hiya! Thank you so much for your review! I absolutely adore reading them! This chapter was really lovely dovey but the next chapter will 100% be passion and hunger as Jasper's dark side comes out and Willa and Jasper go on their mission! So I'm super excited for you to read the coming one and I hope this chapter wasn't too cringie for you! I'm so so sorry if it is! Much Love, Lisette**

 **neatfreak16: N'aww thank you so much for your beautiful review! You made my heart flutter! I hope you like this chapter! I know it was filled with fuzzies and cute moments but I hope thats oki! The next chapter will be a lot more intense and passionate! Much Love, Lisette!**

 **BelguimBear: Oh my goodness! That you so much! You're honestly the sweetest! I really hope you like this chapter! hehe I hope you liked all of their interactions and are looking forward to the next chapter! You are honestly so sweet! I'm sending you a massive hug! Much Love, Lisette**

 **Dunesque Thank you so much for your incredible and magic review! It just made me so so happy! I always get so nervous writing Jasper because eeek, he's just perfect in every way! I so hope you like him in this chapter and are looking forward to seeing the next chapter! It will be a lot more intense, dark, passionate and hungry! Much Love, Lisette**


	20. Chapter 17

**Author's Note: Hello my lovelies! So I originally posted this chapter earlier but wasn't happy with it as it was rather rushed. So I decided to take it down and rewrite it!**

 **I hope you like the new updated version and I can't wait to continue this story as I have so much planned! I'm so sorry for the late update, life has been rather chaotic with university and anxiety spiking!**

 **Thank you to all those beautiful angels who are reading this, following, reviewing and favoriting! You make my days shine so much brighter so please review. Eeek I know it's truly annoying, but it would be so lovely if you did!**

 **~ Happy Reading My Angels! ~**

With the night enveloping the sky and the air frosting my breaths into small milky clouds, Jasper and I crouched in a cluster of leaves as we stared at the house we would soon be intruding. It was an old cabin in the woods, large and grand as fairy lights decorated it and party music thumped and echoed from within. Jasper's hand was placed lightly on my back, his eyes intense as he focused on the emotions pulsing inside that house. I watched him with wide and innocent eyes, curious eyes, as my hand gently caressed his tense arm.

"There's ten humans and three vampires." He whispered, his voice low and deep as he sniffed the air and his fingers knotted in the grass and yanked at it. "Their blood is young, fresh and intoxicated with alcohol…my guess is college students." His eyes slid towards mine, tactics and strategies swimming inside them as I was suddenly introduced to a new side of him. He suddenly looked so cold, so focused and stern as if all softness had been buried deep within – all weaknesses. "Do you have any combat skills?" He asked and I couldn't help but roll my eyes slightly at the question and blow my hair out of my eyes with a gentle puff.

I shifted my body in the crisp leaves, positioning myself to sit on my legs. "Why yes, I do. I…well you see…there's something I have not told you…" I began, adverting my gaze as I allowed my features to fall into a shy demure.

"And what is that?" He asked, guilt nipping at my heart for the concern that seemed to lace his words.

"Well I…" Looking up into his eyes, a small playful smile pulled at my lips. "I'm a secret spy for the government and know five different forms of martial arts." I bit my lip as I smiled, my tongue slightly poking out as I couldn't stifle with my laughter. "Of course, I don't have any combat skills, silly! I can barely defend myself from a fly or pigeon. But in my defence…pigeons are pure evil." Jasper quirked an eyebrow at my sudden playful rambling. The truth was… I felt nervous, and I suppose when that happened, when my adrenaline spiked and pushed against my skin…I turned into a rambling mess. "I mean…can't you see it in their eyes? They are simply plotting world domination and those little head bobs…that's just them trying to get the crick out of their necks because they had been thinking and plotting too hard during the hours we were asleep that they've become all stiff." I shivered to prove my point, pulling a face of repulsion as slowly Jasper's face cracked just the slightest and a smile pulled at the corners of his lips. His eyes seemed to smile with amusement, seemed to glow lightly in the dark as he released a single puff of laughter and shook his head.

"For someone who claims to love animals, you are quite the oddity darlin." He mused quietly.

"I suppose so, but that's a good thing, isn't it?" I asked him gently, my fingertips feather-soft caressing his arm in small soothing patterns…feeling each one of his scars as their sharp outlines teased my imagination of how they happened to stain his skin. "Because whoever fell in love with the ordinary?" I could feel Jasper's eyes swim inside mine, feel him slowly crack open as the ghost of who he was before the sunset came leaking from him and into me. I watched as his eyes floated down to my hand, watched as he followed each of my fingers movements against his flesh. He seemed mesmerised, as if in that one sweet and succulent moment...everything else faded away and there was just us...that single dance of fingertips against flesh. His eyes softened, yet a hard glimmer painted over them when he looked up to meet my fragile face.

"Do you want me to go over the plan once more?" He asked, his voice void of tenderness as some solider-like aura pinched at his throat and eyes.

"No," I whispered softly, keeping my voice light. "It's all clear and ready to go in my mind." I tapped a finger against my temple and offered a childish grin.

Yet all he did was incline his head in approval - that hard-exterior back in place as he stood up in one graceful motion and extended a hand down to me. I carefully placed my tiny one in his, feeling the roughness of his flesh sizzle against mine as his fingers encircled my hand and squeezed. His grip was tight, purposeful and warrior-like as he pulled me to my feet.

"I'll see you inside." I told him softly with a smile. "I'll be playing the damsel in distress all dressed in yellow." I pinched the sides of my dress and pulled them out as I gave a playful and nervous curtsy. "Surely you won't be able to miss me." The last notes of my words fell into a distant whisper. All those memories of the day before, of the day we were still in... despite the sweet blooming pink mist that caressed their edges...those memories seemed so far away, as if they belonged to another life. And perhaps they did. A fantasy.

"Don't be afraid of me when we are in there." He said suddenly, his voice strong and deep as his hand tightened around mine. He took a step towards me, my neck tilting back so my eyes would not leave his. And as if he could see my nervousness, as if he could hear it - his voice softened as the ghost of the man who had kissed and held me returned. "Don't be afraid."

I bit my lip as I smiled up at him, trying to coax my bravery to paint my features and stuttering heartbeat. "I'm not." I replied lightly, yet he shook his head.

"Liar." He replied. He pulled me closer towards him - our chests brushing lightly as his eyes seemed to darken in this dangerous protective glare. His hand holding mine travelled to grasp my wrist, his fingers pressing against where my pulse jerked my veins outwards. "I can feel your adrenaline, the quickening pace of your pulse." His voice was deep, low as if a growl rumbled deep inside him yet did not escape. "I may appear like a monster in there, but know I won't let anything happen to you." His words were strong and determined, threatening and I believed him with my whole heart. Yet a part of me was afraid, afraid to see this new side to him, afraid to see what he was, is and can do with those scarred hands that are stained with so much history and bloodshed.

I licked my lips softly, allowing my eyes to hold onto that innocence he fell in love with, that crafted my heart and soul as I stared up into his eyes. Going up on my tiptoes, I brushed my lips against his cheek. My body leaned into his, my warmth and light seeping to his skin through that one, dainty kiss. His skin was so cold, so clenched as if he was frightened to break this crust that had coated his skin and stripped him of all weaknesses. Falling back down onto the palms of my feet, I allowed my fingers to run through his hair, to savour that touch of soft honey locks. I could feel my heartbeat race within me, feel it harden as my adrenaline soared within me.

"I love you, my darling enigma." I whispered, "Now show me the history that crafted your warrior heart." And before he could reply, before his lips could even part...I turned towards the house and was about to break out into a run towards it. Yet he grasped my arm, his grip tight as he pulled me towards him with a force that was dangerous and wicked. I gasped lightly, my lips parting in surprise as my eyes widened. He looked so much like a predator in that moment, so much like a monster who was fighting behind those eyes to get out of its cage…yet what type of monster? I was not sure…he had been restraining himself so much…both in his vampire nature and I suppose in other ways too…I could feel him fight whatever it was that he was trying to contain…feel him tighten his grip on me before finally saying…

"I won't let anything happen to you." His words were tight and strong…restrained as our chests brushed one another and he titled his neck to the side – regarding me deeply and fully, completely. Yet he did not let me go, did not break his stare as he bent down this lips eyes that had an almost lustful pinch to them. I licked my lips, my breath hiccupping my chest as I waited to see what he would do. He seemed to be so lost in thought, so lost in me as his lips came so close to mine. Yet he did not dare touch mine with his and as if he had been stung by something electric, he pulled away and gave me a shall shove forward. "I'll see you inside."

I watched curiously as he turned away from me, waiting for me to go…I contemplated going up to talk to him, to try and unravel whatever was going on through his head…but there wasn't enough time…not enough time…

And so, I ran, my long hair flying behind me like the ocean's midnight waves, and the imprint of Jasper's hand on my arm...that ever-present force, pushing me forward... into that house of broken dreams and wild nightmares.

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The wind seemed to bite at my skin, seemed to nip at my heart as my fingers grazed the cool window of the wooden house. A soft light illuminated the room through the frosted glass, and I couldn't help but shiver in my light-yellow dress…yellow…how distant that color and all that it represented now seemed. I licked my lips, allowing my eyes to mist over as I tried to steady my breathing. I could feel the wind in my hair, feel it snake through and around each strand as it's touch teased my shoulders and cheeks. I had to wait…wait until I heard that soft click that would announce his presence.

I began to count…softly…silently…. My fingers slid down the glass window, it's cool touch pinching my fingertips.

Click.

I opened my eyes, widening them as I peeped through the window and saw Jasper enter the house as a deadly, warrior prince. I knew that was my signal to move…yet the way he looked, the new glint in his eyes…I couldn't. Darkness radiated off him as he stalked through the room, conversing with the other vampires as if they were but ants he would soon squash. I could taste his too calm beastly nature, feel those blackened shadows caress my skin.

My breath hitched in my throat as I saw a wicked snarl pull at his lips, as I saw his facial features contort into some evil thing…I took a step back, surprised at the effected this had on me…surprised at how evil and dark he now seemed. But no, I had to remember that this wasn't him, that this was an act…except it wasn't. This part of him, it may be for show now…but it was still in him, that darkness…I knew it still lingered by how it took over him completely and truly…by how it seemed to paint his features beforehand. I could feel a hesitant uncertainty towards him pulse within me…yet I could not move. Couldn't as he walked around that room with his hands knotted behind his back and a smirk gracing his lips. My fingers grasped the hem of my yellow dress, twiddled the fabric in a nervous gesture as I tried to gain my courage. I wasn't afraid of him, or what he could do…I was afraid of the terrors that he must have experienced for him to become like this. And suddenly…I felt my heart reach out to him, reach out to the other vampires within as I could no longer see them as monsters, but simply creatures who needed saving. Jasper had never known tenderness until we met…and perhaps it was the same for them too…perhaps they were simply lost souls, lost in this addictive bloodshed that drowned out their fears and pain and made them forget… I wasn't sure if I was blinded by my own naivety…but it was all I had, all I could hold on to in order to give me an extra boost of strength.

And so, I took in another deep breath, walked towards the back door and opened it. It made no sound as the wood released itself from the hinges – and neither did I as I took my first steps into the house. I remained hidden, silent and agile as I moved along the small corridor that led to the open space where the vampires and cowering students were. I could see them, yet they couldn't see me…at least the vampires couldn't. I slunk down the wall into a crouching position and slowly crawled to where the wall ended. My eyes widened as I saw the students…as I saw them huddled together on the floor, shaking and quivering as they hid behind each other and all that they could.

I knew what I had to do…what I was to become to sneak them out…and so I closed my eyes and listened to what the vampires and Jasper spoke about…waiting…

I could see the twisted expression on Jasper's face against the backs of my eyelids and the way he looked…my heart suddenly escaped from my chest and scampered off into the room where the three vampires marked their pray. If I could save them…if I could…I began to change the plan slightly in my head. These vampires were going to die…but maybe…just maybe I could change that, change them. I knew what I was going to do was foolish, but a part of me did not care, apart of me couldn't resist that urge and magnetic pull.

Standing up, I managed to catch the eyes of some of the students. They stared back at me with wide and helpless expressions, fearful and scared as their desperation flooded me. I raised my fingers to my lips and gestured for them to remain quiet. For from what I knew about vampire's hearing…even if they made the slightest moves…despite Jasper's distraction, they would know…

"I don't suppose you have any healers amongst your…collection?" I heard Jasper snarl as he asked the vampires…

"Healers?" One of the vampires said. "I haven't seen one of those for decades. Tricky little things, aren't they?"

"What business do you have searching for a healer?" Another vampire asked Jasper, his voice seeming older and more mature than the other who had previously spoken.

"Because they offer the purest source to optimising our strength and power. They are the most precious weapon that any vampire could have…their own personal healer…and the taste of their blood…" I could hear Jasper get lost in the words he spoke, hear him become intoxicated by his own confession as if he were truly lusting after it…craving it. "It makes mortal blood taste like that from a gutter rat."

"You're making me hungry…maybe we should feast. I'd offer for you to join us but I'm afraid all we have is as you say, gutter rats." The older vampire sneered, somewhat embarrassed by Jasper's remark.

Knowing what was coming, I took a deep breath and uncurled myself from the floor.

Jasper clicked his tongue. "So, you can assure me that you do not have a healer in your presence?"

"Well…yea," the younger vampire said casually, impatience lacing his words.

"Liar." The word slithered out of Jasper's tongue like some venomous snake. I could feel the tension thicken in the house, feel it stick to my skin as a pause that was too heavy pulled at everyone's skin and hair. "I can smell her."

I felt the air in my throat catch and become too thick to swallow. "Smell her?" The third vampire spoke with deep confusion and caution as if he too could feel the shift, as if suddenly the room had become colder, too cold.

"Do you really think I'd come here if I didn't smell a healer? I warned you not to lie to _me_." I could hear Jasper pace, hear him mark his territory as he approached the vampires without a fear or hesitant care. "Tell your pet to come out of hiding." He said impatiently.

"I…we don't have a healer here." The young vampire replied, fear lacing his words. I could almost imagine how he would look, his eyes darting around the room in hopes of help as he must have known that although there was three of them and one of Jasper, that he could easily defeat them without difficulty. It was his command, his confidence and presence that made their immortal and beastly hearts quake.

"Is that so?" Jasper asked. "Smell the air." He commanded. "Smell passed that mortal rot and nigh time lust…smell her and only her…that immortal princess of sunlight and daisies and all that is pure and innocent." I felt myself melt at his words, felt myself wish that I was but a mere shadow, a mere ghost that had no form or body… "Can't you taste her?" I gasped, my feet loosening a creak from the floorboards as suddenly…with the wood betraying my presence, a vampire moved at lightning speed to stand right in front of me.

"Dear god…" The vampire exhaled in front of me, as I took in his form. He was tall, strong and young. His eyes a deep red and his face framed with dark brown locks. I could feel the irritation build under my skin as he examined me, as he pressed his chest against mine and buried his nose in my hair as if he were intoxicated by me…by what I stood for. I squeezed my eyes shut at the action, tried to remain stiff as I felt his hand entwine in my hair and yank my head to the side exposing my neck. I tried to soften my features, tried to look fearful as I played the act of the helpless healer in distress. But as the vampire continued to feel me, to take me in…I could feel my temper flare slightly…yet he did not seem to be smelling me.

"Are you not smelling me?" I suddenly asked, my voice filled with innocent curiosity. I cursed myself silently at my inability to keep my mouth closed. Yet I was so curious as to why he had not smelt me yet buried himself against my body.

The vampire pulled back, his eyes narrow as they flicked from my neck to my eyes.

"Don't tempt me." He murmured. "Because if you do…it'll be the end of you." The hair on my neck rose at the implication of his words. I could feel my heart beat irregularly…the coldness in his voice, that menacing thread…what had happened to him for him to become this way? I breathed, my chest expanded and it brushed his chest and caused him to press himself against me. "I said…don't tempt me." He hissed. I looked up, seeing him close his eyes as his fingers returned to my hair before suddenly a low growl rumbled from his throat and he grabbed a handful of my hair and yanked me into the room.

He threw me towards the floor, yet before the wood collided into me – strong and familiar arms caught me, encircled my waist as I was yanked upwards and into a solid chest. My back was pressed against it, a hand cupped underneath my chin and against my neck. Jasper…I knew his touch, knew the outline of his body against mine. His nose pressed against my cheek as he smelt me, as he breathed me in and his thumb stroked my skin in soothing motions – as if to state his claim on me in front of the others.

"Liars." He whispered against my skin, his eyes darting between the three vampires as he kept one arm around my waist and the other on my neck. The room went silent, became thick and heavy as I felt the eyes of both the dead and alive on us. "Pity too." He mused in a bored tone as he moved the hand from my waist to stroke a knuckle down my ribs. Every nerve in my body narrowed in on that touch. "You might have been good little soldiers if given the chance." He clicked his tongue, dragging his eyes from the three vampires to me. His eyes ran over me and as he played his role… a part of me couldn't help but wonder if it wasn't all for show as his eyes glazed a bit.

"Chance? Why wouldn't we get a chance?" One of the vampires asked, his voice pinched with both annoyance and worry.

Jasper's lips curled upwards as he leaned in and bit my earlobe, pulling at it lightly as a low rumble sounded from his throat. I was not frightened by him, not of the role he had asked me to play or of what he was doing. My own blood sang at the power that thrummed from him, at the sheer might of him as he pulled away and looked into me with eyes that I had not seen before. They were darker, filled with shimmering lust and danger. The knuckles that had been running up and down my ribs slid up and grazed the underside of my breast. I became wide-eyed, my breath warm as in that moment…it was as if time had slowed down, and for just one moment…did we dare look past the facades we wore and into the souls that our hearts craved to burry ourselves in. We had done our parts…had played our roles, and now…a brief flicker of love licked the walls of his solider eyes, a ghost of what once was…and with a small incline of his chin, his eyes lazily slide to the vampires.

"Because you're about to die." And with that, he pushed me forwards the students and made his attack.

I ran towards the students on shaky legs, silently cursing Jasper for what he had done to me…the effect it had caused yet…what I had seen in his eyes…it seemed as if it weren't him, as if something new had taken over…something different and more powerful…something or someone from a past I had not been a part of. I shook those thoughts away as I ran towards the students, my arms outstretched as I grabbed their hands and pulled them to their feet.

"Come on, come, come, come!" I quickly told them – rushing them out through the backdoor of the house. I made sure that they were all out, touching each of their backs as I counted them and told them to run as fast as they could, to not look back. The last student was just out the door when rough hands grabbed my shoulders and threw me against the wall. I gasped at the impact, my pupils dilating at the sight of the young vampire. I tried to remember that he was just a broken soul lost in bloodshed and lust…but as he looked at me, as I saw the evil in his eyes…no…there was no saving him.

"It's just you and me girlie." He hissed.

"Is it?" I asked, feeling my adrenaline pump within me and flood my lungs. I quirked an eyebrow. "Because last time I checked there was me, you, your two vampire buddies and oh lookie…the fella who's kicking your friends butts." I said with a smile and pointed behind his shoulder to where Jasper was locked in a heated battle with the two larger vampires.

"What?" The vampire turned to look, and just as he did – I grabbed a fallen piece of wood from the floor and placed in behind my back. The vampire turned back and I shrugged lightly.

"Really, I know you're a vampire but I think you need to have your eyes checked." I told him sweetly, the wood heavy in my hands as I tightened my grip on it.

"My eyes are just fine." He growled annoyed.

"Oh?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows. "Then I suppose you see this coming." And with one smooth motion, I revealed the stake I had been holding and dove it straight into his chest. My muscles tightened and strained as I forced it into where his heart would have rested. Yet when I released it, when the ghost of a prideful smile began to blossom on my lips…I realized one very important thing – he had not turned to ash like they did in the movies. "Uh oh." I confessed, my smile falling as I backed up against the wall. Jasper hadn't told me how to kill a vampire, we had rushed into this, or more I had… "Did I miss?" I asked quietly, offering an embarrassed smile as I raised my hands to my mouth. No, I couldn't have…it was placed perfectly where the heart would have rested.

"Stakes don't kill us." The vampire said rolling his eyes. "That's a myth."

"Oh." I felt my heart become heavy in my chest, felt my lips separate as I silently wished the floor would open up and swallow me as it's prisoner. "I suppose I was mythtaken." I said in a small voice with a feeble smile. "Yikies." I murmured under my breath

"Any other theories you'd like to test out?" The vampire asked, his amusement all too clear on his face. He was not impatient to kill me…and I suppose that was the one advantage my attempt had given me.

"I don't suppose you have any holy water or crosses, do you?" I asked, my eyes looking around the room in hopes of finding my second plan. Yet the room was barren of potential weapons…all weapons except for…

"No, but you know what I do have?" He didn't wait for my response. "This." And before I knew it, his hands grabbed for me and tossed me across the room. My body slammed into the wall, dropping like a doll on the floor as the wood cut into my skin and ripped me open. I groaned at the pain, at the feeling of splitting bones and my healers blood awakening with an effervescent start. I could feel my blood fizz and pop within me, feel it mend my internal injuries as my adrenaline pushed me up into a crouching position. The vampire was before me in a second, crouched down to my level as his head titled to the side. "How does that feel?" He asked sinisterly, his lips curving upwards as I stared up at him through my messy hair.

"You forget something." I told him, feeling my healing powers bloom and blossom and dance within me…drown me whole as it pumped through all four chambers of my heart.

"And what's that?" He asked, his lips twitching ever so slightly.

"I'm a healer…you can't hurt me. Yet I can hurt you." I raised my cut palm and outstretched it towards his face. He instantly backed away, tearing his face and nose away from my blood as I willingly offered it to him. "Don't you want it?" I asked him teasingly, for I knew that for him to gain the benefits of my blood, for him to gain the strength and not accidentally turn himself into a human or drain me whole and become imprisoned in a mortal body…he would need self-control. And that was something he did not have. "I'm not afraid of you, but something tells me that you are frightened of me." My voice became soft, soft and delicate as the world folded in around us…shuttled out everything but him and I as he dared to look me in the eyes.

He swallowed tightly, but what he swallowed…I did not know. I knew I was right in my assumption, could see it in his eyes…it was why he asked me not to tempt him. Not because it would be my undoing, but because it would be his.

"What happened to you?" I asked, feeling my heart press against my ribcage as it tried to help him, tried to reach and graze any stray grain of good within him. His eyes seemed to darken at my words, seemed to laugh at them.

"I became what I was born to be." He told me, his voice raw and true and dark. "I was a murder before I was turned, a demon trapped in mortal form. I was only set free once I was turned. I should frighten you."

I licked my lips, my eyes never leaving his as I left my heart stop it's reach towards him. "I'm sorry." I whispered. For I knew now for certain that there was no saving him…even if I tried to turn him into a human…he was too far gone, and I couldn't help but wonder, from what he said – if he was ever truly here and apart of the complex beauty it meant to be human. "I'm so sorry." And before he could pull away, I rested my bloody palm against his cheek and gave him a tender touch. The vampire did not pull away, he leaned into it, savouring it…but not for the reasons that I wished. He was not savouring it because he wished to change, because he wished to fall into this world of love and friendship, no…was doing so because of the blood that coated it. It was teasing him, scratching his throat as he turned his head and buried his nose against it. I watched as his shoulders rose and fell, as his mouth opened as his sharp fangs hit the light. He was in pain, trying so hard to resist…and in that moment, I knew I was torturing him.

I pulled my hand away, seeing his eyes show a small sign of gratitude at that gesture. But we were still left here…and I knew he wanted me dead, and he was not afraid to become creative. I looked over his shoulder…to where Jasper fought. He had taken down one of his Vampires and my lips parted in shock as I saw how he had done it. The vampire was in pieces…his skin like broken porcelain. That was how a vampire was killed, they were broken apart – shattered.

My eyes drifted back to the vampire in front of me, and I could tell whatever we had just shared was gone. His jaw was tight, and I felt my hands clench. I may not be strong, I may not be experienced in martial arts…but I was immortal…I was a healer, and by goodness…was he in trouble.

We lunged at each other simultaneously, my legs wrapping around his neck as he stood and clawed at my back. I swung down and around, repositioning myself so I was on his shoulders. I then grasped his head and began to twist with all my might. My teeth grind as I heard him scream, as he threw himself and I against the wall and floor – trying to get me off him. But I was a dancer, and I knew how to hang on. My legs squeezed around his neck, as I twisted with all my might. I could feel my muscles scream at me, feel my blood scream and trash inside me…giving me the strength, giving me whatever I needed until…I could hear him break, hear him…my lips parted and soon I was screaming, screaming to rid him of his head to…I suddenly felt myself falling, felt all resistance snap as I rolled to the floor with his head in my hands.

I shivered at what I had just done, unsure if I should be proud of myself or completely ashamed and fearful of what lurked within me to do such a thing. Yet the moment I saw the head in my hands, the moment I looked into his dead eyes…a childish squeal escaped my lips as my hands threw the head towards the fire. I rubbed my hands against my dress, trying to clean them of what I had just done, of what I had…I looked towards where his body lay…headless…I could feel myself change inside, as if my blood was burning along with his head. My bones felt too heavy, my heart and lungs…I could feel beads of sweat run down my skin, feel my body tremble and…fire…whipping my brow with the back of my hand, I walked towards his body and picked up his arms and began to drag him towards the fire. And as I did so, I was blinded…blinded by memories of what the vampires had done to Fitz, of what they had done to my parents and kind and Jasper…they pounded in my head, crashing against my skull as it broke from within.

As soon as the fire touched his body I let go, feeling my skin burn with his…yet as the fire spread down his body, it snatched onto the wooden floorboards and spread around the house, engulfing us. I gasped, stumbling back as I looked around me with wide eyes. They landed on Jasper…who across the room had just made his final kill. He looked so calm as he looked at me in return, as his hair clung to his face and shielded his eyes. They were so dark, almost a blackened red as he looked past the flames and misted heat to me. It was just me and him left, me and this person who I no longer recognized. And I was glad, glad that I couldn't see my Jasper inside those eyes, because after what I had done, I knew I was not the same girl he had seen before we entered this house, not in this very moment as my blood burned, boiled and fizzed with too many things to understand it.

I felt myself shut out my memories, felt myself forget about everything but this stranger as he stalked towards me with such confidence and grace and predatory purpose. We had both lost control to something else…both had to become something different to be able to survive to save others. And it was then that I realized it was our raw selves. We were no longer tethered to anything, blinded by our immortal DNA…and as he stopped in front of me, as he titled his head downwards and allowed his hands to graze my cheeks – I was not sorry for it.

"Will it ever stop?" He asked, more to himself than me. His voice sounded different, so captured by his Texan roots and solider-like strength as he mused. His finger stroked my cheek, sliding down my jaw, neck and rested against that spot in-between my neck and shoulder. "Wanting you – of every hour, of every dead breath. I don't think I can stand it. I can't promise you anything, not now…except I ask you to promise me one thing...don't reject me, don't be afraid...like you said, you are my equal and I...I'm no longer drowning in your healer purity and sunshine...I'm in awe of it, I crave it. So promise me."

And I knew in that moment what he was asking me, what he was and had shown me as he fought and looked at me now. He had shown me his heart, both the dark and the light…and in this moment, he was standing as a product of both, not fighting the pull of either one.

"I promise." I said, and I meant it truly for we all had that darkness in us…and today I had shown mine. Yet I was not afraid of his, and I wasn't afraid of mine.

And so, his lips crashed down against mine, as we suddenly lost ourselves in this kaleidoscopic whirlwind of both the dark and light…not caring what side we fell victim as the house flared around us and burnt away everything but us.

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 **Author's Note: So there you have it! I hope you liked it and are excited for the next chapter! I can't wait to see what ya'll think and I hope that you are all well and happy! I'll post review responses in the next chapter which will be coming soon!**

 **~ Until next time, all my love, Lisette Sage ~**


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